Re: Re: Devastated

[Guest guest]

Tamara -

I've noticed your posts recently, but have been extremely busy and hectic

that I haven't had a chance to really read through, but wanted now to give you

my " experience. "

First of all.... if there is a " bright side " to all of this, your son

received a diagnosis at this early age. Years ago, physicians were very

hesitant

to attach a bipolar diagnosis to a child so young - they usually ended up

tagged as ADHD and that was that. By adolescence, when things were so out of

control, that's when bipolar would come into question/play. It was thought

that

it was not possible to distinguish bipolar symptoms in a child so young.

How do I know this? Well, my daughter who is 24 now was diagnosed ADHD back

at your son's age. While she did fit the " textbook " description of ADHD,

there was something else obvious to us going on. It wasn't until age 11 that

she was diagnosed bipolar with possible schizophrenic tendencies. This last

diagnosis wouldn't be known for sure until age 21 because that is when it

usually rears its head. We have a family history so this was not so far out.

As

far as being devastated, well I was actually relieved. We spent so many

years in chaos with school problems, adolescent problems that it was actually a

relief to know we were not simply dealing with ADHD. I posted my story a

long time ago as encouragement to another parent, but I want you to know - My

daughter at the age of 24 owns her own home, owns her own business, and drives

a Mercedes. Did she get to this stage in the " conventional way " ? Absolutely

not.... There came a point where I had no option, but to place my daughter

in a residential facility. This was the hardest decision I think I've ever

had to make in my life. It was heartwrenching, but in order to keep her safe

I had no choice. I only wished she had been diagnosed at a younger age

before a lot of the behaviors got out of control. Yes, she took some of the

" dangerous " meds you've talked about and yes experienced horrible side effects.

Once she turned 18 she made the decision to stop medication as she did not

like the way they made her feel. She has tremendous family support and we're

all here for her during times when she enters a manic phase. I've invested a

lot of time in my daughter and NEVER did I let the thought that her life was

" doomed " enter my mind. This was NOT a possibility.

If you really think about it, I'd be willing to bet there are many adults

around you who carry a diagnosis of bipolar. This illness does not mean the

end of the world. People function with it every day.

While I understand your hurt right now and trying to digest all of this, I

think I was a little hurt when I actually read your post - your reaction to

this illness is similar to others who used to view my daughter's situation and

think " she hasn't got a chance. " Well, luckily she's proven them wrong.

The best think you can do for your son and your family is educate yourself.

Your son is automatically doomed to failure or suicide. As a matter of

fact, someone with bipolar with the right support system in place actually has

quite the opposite outlook. They have a different way of thinking and looking

at the world. My daughter is very goal oriented. She sets them and goes

after them and doesn't stop till she's accomplished what she set out to.

After we went through the adolescent phase with my daughter and got her

somewhat stable, my son was then diagnosed with Tourette's, OCD, and social

phobia. We watch him for bipolar signs because of the history and, yes, it

scares

me to death that this might pop up with him at some point, but for now we

deal with what we've been given. BTW - My son, too, was addicted to

skateboarding for quite a few years.... He's actually very good. It helped him

with

self-esteem issues and concetration.

So.... I guess what I'm trying to say is first get a handle on the

situation, educate yourself and your family. Don't assume the worse - You've

got a

tough road ahead of you no doubt, but knowing now what you're dealing with

rather than down the road puts you a big step ahead of where I was when the

situation arose.

I thank God every day that my daughter made it through those tough years - a

lot of tears and situations I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but I refused

to give up on her and knew she had a full, wonderful life ahead of her - I am

very proud of the beautiful young lady she has grown into. I think her

experience makes her see the world in a different way than others her age. She

is much more tolerant of the " underdogs. " She has a son also, who is not

quite two yet. I watch her with him and her compassion and empathy simply

amazes

me.

Please don't give up and assume the worse. Pull up your boots because

you've got a lot of work ahead, but there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO GIVE UP!!

[Guest guest]

Oops, sorry about that - Meant to direct previous post to - Not

Tamara.

Nchaotic writes....

Tamara -

I've noticed your posts recently, but have been extremely busy and hectic

that I haven't had a chance to really read through, but wanted now to give you

my " experience. "

[Guest guest]

Batting a thousand today..... Yes, I meant my post directed to Tamara.....

In a message dated 7/28/2006 12:36:39 PM Central Standard Time,

Nchaotic@... writes:

Oops, sorry about that - Meant to direct previous post to - Not

Tamara.

[Guest guest]

I agree - and very moving, uplifting responses - thanks

for the hope you give all of us

Quoting <@...>:

> Hi , just wanted to say a very uplifting story/reply.

> Congratulations to you also, as I can imagine there were some

> struggling years there when you were told it was *just* OCD!

>

>

> (who has/had a smattering of lots of things these 48 years!)

>

>

>

>>

>> Tamara,

>>

>> First of all *hugs*. You do have a hard battle ahead

> of you. I

>> can understand your fears for your son. Let me explain why..

>>

>> I have Bipolar with ocd tossed in there, among a

> smattering of

>> other things. For years I was just told it was ocd.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/31/2006 1:42:51 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

tamara_naranjo@... writes:

I'm dying to learn the

difference between biplar and schizophrenic voices, but I haven't

found anything on the internet.

Tamara....

I seem to recall someone on the message board telling me that hearing 'your

own' voice in your head telling you to do/think things is considered OCD. If

the voices don't belong to you it is more like schizophrenia. I'm guessing

that means a male could hear a female voice telling him bad things or vice

versa - or perhaps a child hears an adult's voice.

I'm also interested in hearing information on this if anyone out there knows

for sure.

LT

[Guest guest]

Tamara -

I'm glad you came back to let us know how you're doing so far. It sounds as

though you're realizing what needs to be done - digesting all of this, etc.

Do you have complete confidence in the physician who made this diagnosis?

Diagnosing a child as young as your son with " schizophrenia " and telling the

parent it's going to be the worst case doesn't sit well with me for some

reason. The voices of self-doubt, etc that your son exhibits I think are

common

in OCD and bipolar as well as other illnesses as well. Are these his voices

telling him these things? As far as medication goes, I can only suggest that

you find a psychopharmacololgist who is extremely confident and experienced

in treating these mental health disorders. With my daughter, we spent many

trial and error periods with medication. We finally found one

pyschopharmacologist who was extremely versed in her area of expertise and I

felt completely

confident in her guidance. Up until then I just felt like we had been

bouncing from option to option, without any kind of progress.

You mention your son excelling in sports - this is a PLUS. Keep him

involved and encourage this. It will help socially and with his self-esteem.

Hopefully by now you're giving some seriour thought to the fact that mental

health issues don't necessarily mean one is doomed. You'll need to remain

strong as you will be your child's advocate for the foreseeable near future.

He will take a lot of his cues from your handling/reaction to all of this.

Keep us updated!

In a message dated 7/31/2006 12:42:40 PM Central Standard Time,

tamara_naranjo@... writes:

Thank you for all the replies RE my son's recent diagnosis. The

encouragement and stories of hope from this group have helped me to

feel so much better. Friday morning was the last time I cried.

[Guest guest]

Tamara -

Your comfort level with this doctor is going to be a plus! His voices and

thoughts still sound like bad thought OCD to me. As far as the mood changes,

up and down, black/white - remember severe OCD can cause extreme anxiety -

the anxiety can then cause a lot of symptoms - rage, anger, mania, manic,

etc.... As long as you feel comfortable with this new doctor, then I'd have to

say you're on the right path.

Also, I think every parent mourns at the thought their child might not be

" normal " (ha, if there really is such a thing). Once the mourning period is

over, we get to work and do what needs to be done. Education and understanding

will be key to lifetime success.

You've got wonderful support here so not to worry...... I'm willing to bet

a year from now you are posting success stories to help another parent in a

similar situation!!!!

I know it's a lot to absorb right now, but you seem to be doing a terrific

job already!

Know that you and your family are in my prayers.

In a message dated 7/31/2006 3:15:10 PM Central Standard Time,

tamara_naranjo@... writes:

Even though the diagnosis floored

me, I left feeling that is finally in the hands of capable,

caring doctors.

[Guest guest]

I read somewhere that the bipolar voices only occur during a manic phase.

Don't know if that helps....

Liz

In a message dated 7/31/2006 1:43:14 PM Eastern Standard Time,

tamara_naranjo@... writes:

I'm dying to learn the

difference between biplar and schizophrenic voices, but I haven't

found anything on the internet.

[Guest guest]

tamara sounds like you're moving ahead streghthened by knowledge and

support - hang in there!!!!!

Quoting cleopatra_lily <tamara_naranjo@...>:

> Hi Judy,

> Thank you for your encouraging post. I'm starting to feel hopeful

> and optimistic that that is bipolar with OCD bad thoughts &

> that he will not be schizophrenic. He does alternate between hating

> everything about himself and then admiring his eyes and physique and

> bragging about his skateboard skills. He has never spoke in a " word

> salad " manner and he does not hear conversations in his head - are

> those symptoms of schizophrenia as opposed to bipolar? I'm also very

> happy to hear about a woman with schizoaffective disorder who is

> thriving in college. In my web searches, I read somewhere that a

> combination of the 2 disorders can actually be more easily managed

> than a severe case of one of the disorders.

>

> Despite childhood onset being more severe, I liked what one woman

> posted (I will reread last week's posts and respond later)RE children

> being resiliant, and with the right support, they will learn coping

> skills at an early age. It is also encouraging to know that newer

> meds offer people who are bipolar and schizophrenic a quality of life

> that they couldn't have attained 10+ years ago.

>

> Tamara

>

>

>

>

>