Guest guest Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 I could use advice on what to tell neighborhood kids & their parents about my 10 year old son, who has missed over a month of school and has been in the hospital for the past 5 days. His teacher told the kids that Chrisopher has been having bad headaches and stomach trouble and that he woudn't be there for a while. In the neighborhood, he has 2 pretty good friends that look for him every day. The other kids on the street are very mean to him. ended up telling the 2 friends that he was going to a different school for a while and he tried to explain that he has bad thoughts that bother him. When he went in the hospital, I told the friends that he's sick with a virus and can't play for a few days. It's pretty obvious that he hasn't been around, so yesterday I finally said that he's in the hospital to get testing because of bad headaches. I'm friendly with the mom of one of the boys, though her daughter is the most cruel of all the kids to Chris. She's been asking about and I don't know what to say. I hate to be secretive, because it makes it seem that being in the hospital is shameful, but I can't take the chance that her daughter and the kids on the street will find out. I know that will want to tell his two friends about his experience at the hospital, but the other kids will surely find out and tease him mercilessly about being in a mental hospital. I'd love to hear what other parents have told inquiring people who don't need to know the truth amd any suggestions on what to advise my son to tell his friends. Thanks! Tamara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 I could use advice on what to tell neighborhood kids & their parents about my 10 year old son, who has missed over a month of school and has been in the hospital for the past 5 days. His teacher told the kids that Chrisopher has been having bad headaches and stomach trouble and that he woudn't be there for a while. In the neighborhood, he has 2 pretty good friends that look for him every day. The other kids on the street are very mean to him. ended up telling the 2 friends that he was going to a different school for a while and he tried to explain that he has bad thoughts that bother him. When he went in the hospital, I told the friends that he's sick with a virus and can't play for a few days. It's pretty obvious that he hasn't been around, so yesterday I finally said that he's in the hospital to get testing because of bad headaches. I'm friendly with the mom of one of the boys, though her daughter is the most cruel of all the kids to Chris. She's been asking about and I don't know what to say. I hate to be secretive, because it makes it seem that being in the hospital is shameful, but I can't take the chance that her daughter and the kids on the street will find out. I know that will want to tell his two friends about his experience at the hospital, but the other kids will surely find out and tease him mercilessly about being in a mental hospital. I'd love to hear what other parents have told inquiring people who don't need to know the truth amd any suggestions on what to advise my son to tell his friends. Thanks! Tamara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 T Naranjo wrote: > I could use advice on what to tell neighborhood kids & their parents > about > my 10 year old son, who has missed over a month of school and has been in > the hospital for the past 5 days. His teacher told the kids that > Chrisopher > has been having bad headaches and stomach trouble and that he woudn't be > there for a while. In the neighborhood, he has 2 pretty good friends > that > look for him every day. The other kids on the street are very mean to > him. > ended up telling the 2 friends that he was going to a different > school > for a while and he tried to explain that he has bad thoughts that bother > him. When he went in the hospital, I told the friends that he's sick > with a > virus and can't play for a few days. It's pretty obvious that he hasn't > been around, so yesterday I finally said that he's in the hospital to get > testing because of bad headaches. I'm friendly with the mom of one > of the > boys, though her daughter is the most cruel of all the kids to Chris. > She's > been asking about and I don't know what to say. I hate to be > secretive, because it makes it seem that being in the hospital is > shameful, > but I can't take the chance that her daughter and the kids on the street > will find out. I know that will want to tell his two friends about > his experience at the hospital, but the other kids will surely find > out and > tease him mercilessly about being in a mental hospital. I'd love to hear > what other parents have told inquiring people who don't need to know the > truth amd any suggestions on what to advise my son to tell his friends. > Thanks! > > Tamara Boy, Tamara, you're asking good questions! I'm curious as to everyone's response too. My 11 yr. old daughter is going through a hard time right now and seems to be right back where she was a year ago with the terrible vomit thoughts. This is causing her to leave class a few times a day and go to the office and call home crying, where I encourage her to stay in school--only 8 more days! But, she will sometimes abruptly leave the classroom and take a walk to try to take the edge off the anxiety. So, if you count the walks and the office calls, she's jumping up and down all day! I'm sure her friends are wondering what the heck is going on with her. While we're not secretive about it--she tells people all the time that she has OCD, everyone doesnt' need to know. She's starting middle school next year and I'm SO hoping that her meds are straightened out because I remember how cruel kids can be in middle school. (I was one of them, sadly, teasing other kids, shame on me!) So, I've told her to try not to burst into tears in the middle of class and to call me if necessary, but that we'd be working on things with therapy, meds and with her Dr. I know that kids will " clue in " in the next year or so, and I don't want her to be known as " mental girl " either. It breaks my heart! I would continue with the " headache " charade for those that don't need to know. Especially the mean girl's mom, because she'll find out and that's all he needs! Dina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 T Naranjo wrote: > I could use advice on what to tell neighborhood kids & their parents > about > my 10 year old son, who has missed over a month of school and has been in > the hospital for the past 5 days. His teacher told the kids that > Chrisopher > has been having bad headaches and stomach trouble and that he woudn't be > there for a while. In the neighborhood, he has 2 pretty good friends > that > look for him every day. The other kids on the street are very mean to > him. > ended up telling the 2 friends that he was going to a different > school > for a while and he tried to explain that he has bad thoughts that bother > him. When he went in the hospital, I told the friends that he's sick > with a > virus and can't play for a few days. It's pretty obvious that he hasn't > been around, so yesterday I finally said that he's in the hospital to get > testing because of bad headaches. I'm friendly with the mom of one > of the > boys, though her daughter is the most cruel of all the kids to Chris. > She's > been asking about and I don't know what to say. I hate to be > secretive, because it makes it seem that being in the hospital is > shameful, > but I can't take the chance that her daughter and the kids on the street > will find out. I know that will want to tell his two friends about > his experience at the hospital, but the other kids will surely find > out and > tease him mercilessly about being in a mental hospital. I'd love to hear > what other parents have told inquiring people who don't need to know the > truth amd any suggestions on what to advise my son to tell his friends. > Thanks! > > Tamara Boy, Tamara, you're asking good questions! I'm curious as to everyone's response too. My 11 yr. old daughter is going through a hard time right now and seems to be right back where she was a year ago with the terrible vomit thoughts. This is causing her to leave class a few times a day and go to the office and call home crying, where I encourage her to stay in school--only 8 more days! But, she will sometimes abruptly leave the classroom and take a walk to try to take the edge off the anxiety. So, if you count the walks and the office calls, she's jumping up and down all day! I'm sure her friends are wondering what the heck is going on with her. While we're not secretive about it--she tells people all the time that she has OCD, everyone doesnt' need to know. She's starting middle school next year and I'm SO hoping that her meds are straightened out because I remember how cruel kids can be in middle school. (I was one of them, sadly, teasing other kids, shame on me!) So, I've told her to try not to burst into tears in the middle of class and to call me if necessary, but that we'd be working on things with therapy, meds and with her Dr. I know that kids will " clue in " in the next year or so, and I don't want her to be known as " mental girl " either. It breaks my heart! I would continue with the " headache " charade for those that don't need to know. Especially the mean girl's mom, because she'll find out and that's all he needs! Dina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 Tamara, I'm so sorry to hear your son is in the hospital I had the same problem when my daughter was in the hospital for a month and everyone kept asking where she was, neighborhood parents and kids, classmate freinds etc, etc,. I just told all of them she was in the hospital to have some tests done. I was hoping people would leave it as is, but of course many asked other questions, like " Which hospital is she in? " I told them which one so I didn't outright lie, but I told them the regular hospital didn't do the kind of tests she needed done on her brain. I told them she had been having some problems, and needed tests done to see if there was any seizure activity going on. Usually when they are hospitalized they do an MRI, so your covered.(Just not telling the WHOLE truth) but not everyone needs to know! Hugs Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 Tamara, I'm so sorry to hear your son is in the hospital I had the same problem when my daughter was in the hospital for a month and everyone kept asking where she was, neighborhood parents and kids, classmate freinds etc, etc,. I just told all of them she was in the hospital to have some tests done. I was hoping people would leave it as is, but of course many asked other questions, like " Which hospital is she in? " I told them which one so I didn't outright lie, but I told them the regular hospital didn't do the kind of tests she needed done on her brain. I told them she had been having some problems, and needed tests done to see if there was any seizure activity going on. Usually when they are hospitalized they do an MRI, so your covered.(Just not telling the WHOLE truth) but not everyone needs to know! Hugs Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2006 Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 In a message dated 6/5/2006 1:29:35 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, tamara_naranjo@... writes: I could use advice on what to tell neighborhood kids & their parents about my 10 year old son, who has missed over a month of school and has been in the hospital for the past 5 days. Tamara - I think I agree with Dina. Keep up the 'headaches' scenario. When your son returns home & wants to " tell all " to his best friends, you might have a problem there - once it's out, you have no control over who's told what. One thing to keep in mind - the less " big deal " you make of it, the less kids will feel it's a big deal. You need to come up with a simple way to word it so the kids will feel it's just like any other problem someone might go to a doctor for. Perhaps you could go into more detail with the kids' parents, hope they're decent folks & will go home and reinforce the concept of how they've just been given a very special kind of trust from a good friend & how you don't break that trust by talking to other kids about it. That also would be a good question to save for the doctor you're going to see soon. See what he/she says would be the best way to handle it. Hmmmm... you DO ask good questions. LT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2006 Report Share Posted June 6, 2006 I have always tiptoed around this as well. I don't care what anyone thinks of me - never did really. However, it is about my son and not myself, and my son really does care that others like him. I have been afraid that telling anyone could somehow haunt him later. Kids (and their parents) can be so mean sometimes. My town is a little snobby as well. Some may say forget about what others think, but my son has to live with it, and for now, I avoid the topic with others. I have said, he is just a very anxious kid. Bonnie > > > In a message dated 6/5/2006 1:29:35 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, > tamara_naranjo@... writes: > > I could use advice on what to tell neighborhood kids & their parents about > my 10 year old son, who has missed over a month of school and has been in > the hospital for the past 5 days. > > > Tamara - > > I think I agree with Dina. Keep up the 'headaches' scenario. When your son > returns home & wants to " tell all " to his best friends, you might have a > problem there - once it's out, you have no control over who's told what. > > One thing to keep in mind - the less " big deal " you make of it, the less > kids will feel it's a big deal. You need to come up with a simple way to word > it so the kids will feel it's just like any other problem someone might go to > a doctor for. Perhaps you could go into more detail with the kids' parents, > hope they're decent folks & will go home and reinforce the concept of how > they've just been given a very special kind of trust from a good friend & how > you don't break that trust by talking to other kids about it. > > That also would be a good question to save for the doctor you're going to > see soon. See what he/she says would be the best way to handle it. > > Hmmmm... you DO ask good questions. > LT > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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