Guest guest Posted June 13, 2006 Report Share Posted June 13, 2006 In a message dated 6/13/2006 1:14:52 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, k.zarzour@... writes: I'll pop in and say something else to 'disrupt' it, for example, but I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing or even if it's worth worrying about. Kimz - I don't know if my thoughts are correct or not -- but I've got to say, I don't know if there is anything we (or anyone) can do to " stop " the OCD from breaking out. I would think no matter what you say or do to " disrupt " his rituals isn't going to matter if that, in fact, is what it is. I suppose it's a good testing point - wherein, if you distract him, does he become frantic about these rituals? Making you come back or reword things before he can go to bed? Of course, with another son already diagnosed, you're aware of all these signs. Maybe you could help to prolong the onset of symptoms by doing this... I do remember our therapist (first one) saying that we need to get my dd help (referring to meds) BEFORE the rituals become so engrained that it's impossible for her to deal with. I don't know - just my thoughts. LT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2006 Report Share Posted June 13, 2006 " At this point I try hard to not let him have that 'ritual' words at night - I'll pop in and say something else to 'disrupt' it " Kim, Right or wrong, just wanted to tell you that I would do EXACTLY the same thing. Things can snowball so quickly if it is OCD, and if it's not, hey, the rituals can still be annoying and time consuming. When my OCD'er had to say certain things at bedtime, I'd reply with nonsensical words " Googly bobby boo " for ex. She'd reply with the same words, then would drop it. After a few weeks of that, she stopped needing to say anything at all, except for the standard good night, love you, etc. I'm sure she still feels the need to say these things, but since they don't take long or disrupt our evening, I let her do it. Sometimes she insists I have to say " I love you " back, even though she's already said it (and me to her) a couple times. At that point, I firmly say " that's enough " and close the door. What a problem to have, right? One day I'll be longing to hear those words again, even one time, I'm sure! Again, I think you're doing the right thing; if this just started, then squelching it means it won't get so ingrained that he'll " flip out " if you interrupt/mess up the ritual. It gets so much harder the longer things are allowed to continue; this is true with any child, behaviorally speaking. nna. NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2006 Report Share Posted June 13, 2006 You're right - I hate the thought of stifling those words. But I thought the same with my eldest but now he's almost 16 and still says 'I love you' when he hangs up the cell phone or I drop him off in front of a bunch of guys and I'm sure he doesn't realize how funny it must seem to the other teens. Doesn't help that he's got aspergers. I haven't said anything to him because he needs to say it, but I keep hoping at some point he'll clue in that this is not cool. Oh, that's pitiful. Not one of my prouder moments as a mom! kimz Re: my youngest son " At this point I try hard to not let him have that 'ritual' words at night - I'll pop in and say something else to 'disrupt' it " Kim, Right or wrong, just wanted to tell you that I would do EXACTLY the same thing. Things can snowball so quickly if it is OCD, and if it's not, hey, the rituals can still be annoying and time consuming. When my OCD'er had to say certain things at bedtime, I'd reply with nonsensical words " Googly bobby boo " for ex. She'd reply with the same words, then would drop it. After a few weeks of that, she stopped needing to say anything at all, except for the standard good night, love you, etc. I'm sure she still feels the need to say these things, but since they don't take long or disrupt our evening, I let her do it. Sometimes she insists I have to say " I love you " back, even though she's already said it (and me to her) a couple times. At that point, I firmly say " that's enough " and close the door. What a problem to have, right? One day I'll be longing to hear those words again, even one time, I'm sure! Again, I think you're doing the right thing; if this just started, then squelching it means it won't get so ingrained that he'll " flip out " if you interrupt/mess up the ritual. It gets so much harder the longer things are allowed to continue; this is true with any child, behaviorally speaking. nna. NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2006 Report Share Posted June 13, 2006 Hi Kim, I think you're doing great! Just keep slipping in the " last word " when you can. So far as his fears - I know kids go through phases (so did I) and hopefully this is just his " scared " phase. Could happen for no particular reason, could happen as his imagination is more active/better now (whether for real/imagined things), some show/movie recently.... Each of my sons went through this, different ages and more than once! OCD can play with the mind/thoughts too, but hopefully this is just a *normal* phase for your younger son. Does he have his own room? I wonder if the ritual/last word is a way he makes himself feel " safe " at night due to his fears.... But, like you, once you've lived with OCD, I would worry too, thinking " please, not again, another son! " > > Hi > I've written in the past about my 15-year-old son, who is diagnosed with atypical aspergers, gifted and ocd, among other things. > I am becoming a little worried about his younger brother, who is 10. DS2 is very NT. Very different from his older brother. But lately I've noticed him afraid to go upstairs or to basements alone. Also, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2006 Report Share Posted June 13, 2006 I am dealing with this too (and having the same conflict). My 9-year-old has taken to saying " I love you Mom/Dad " numerous times a day, regardless of context. As much as we love to hear it, we know we have to not enable it. So we say " I'm glad " or " That's nice " , and the frequency decreases. Haven't tried gibberish, I wonder how he'd react to that?! > > You're right - I hate the thought of stifling those words. But I thought the same with my eldest but now he's almost 16 and still says 'I love you' when he hangs up the cell phone or I drop him off in front of a bunch of guys and I'm sure he doesn't realize how funny it must seem to the other teens. Doesn't help that he's got aspergers. I haven't said anything to him because he needs to say it, but I keep hoping at some point he'll clue in that this is not cool. > Oh, that's pitiful. Not one of my prouder moments as a mom! > kimz > ----- Original Message ----- > From: nna > Sometimes she insists I have to say " I love you " back, even though she's already said it > (and me to her) a couple times. At that point, I firmly say " that's enough " and close the > door. > > What a problem to have, right? One day I'll be longing to hear those words again, even > one time, I'm sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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