Re: School Meeting----Results of the meeting

[Guest guest]

>

> My 13yr old son has dx of AS, ODD, OCD, mood disorder, anxiety,

> depression. He recently also received a dx of Schizoaffective

> disorder.

I have always had trouble with the school.

> Their communication with me is horrible. They seem to think that

> there is nothing wrong with my child. They took him off of his

IEP

> in February, because he 'test to high' to be on one. According to

> the school, his medical dx do not affect his educational

> perfomance. So far, they have not let him even get on a 504 plan.

>

> My son's condition has changed signifigantly this summer. He

> started to become very paranoid.

>

> His medical professionals (pediatrician, psychiatrist, and

> counselor), my son, and myself all feel he is unable to cope with

> the middle school environment at this time. The medical

> prfessionals feel he would benifit from being placed in a smaller

> environment. There is an alternative school that holds up to 50

> students here in our town. The only catch is that you have to

have

> a recommendation from the public school to be able to go to the

> alternative school.

My son's peditrician has

> set up a meeting with the school in the peditrician's office for

> Tuesday morning. All of my son's medical professionals, myself

and

> his grandmother are going to be there.

>

> Thanks---Lori

>

Latest Update:

We had the meeting Tuesday morning in the Dr office. My son's

doctor, counselor, Dr's social worker, myself, and my mom were

there. The school's assistant principal and school counselor

attended. My son came to the first 10 mins of the meeting. The

meeting lasted an hour. The doctor and the counselor once again

attempted to explain to the school officials how serious my son's

conditions are. My son's doctor is even in the opinion that he

should not be attending the public school at all. My son told the

school officials his reasons why he is not able to attend the large

classrooms and chaos off the middle school. He even said to

them, 'In the past I was always able to hold it all in until I got

home, I can't do that this year, I am going to end up hurting

someone where they will be bloody.' The school counselor asked him

if he meant another student. My son said 'maybe'.

The law sts that you have to be in school until 16 years of age.

There is a referal process for my son to get into the alternative

school. So it was set up for him to attend a 2 hour school day at

the middle school in a small room with a teacher for the time

being. The school proposed the idea of this. My son's doctor and

counselor agreed to the plan. I thought that the school was finally

starting to understand my son's medical conditions and fragile

mental state. We set up an appt with the school for my son to go to

the school and get familiar with his classroom and his teacher for

about an hour and a half after the meeting ended.

When we got to the school, the whole plan suddenly changed. Imagine

that. The dr and my son's counselor were not there. The only other

person there besides myself, my son, and my mother, was the social

worker from the Dr's office. Immediately when we arrived, the

assistant principal hands my son his schedule and precedes to tell

him what class he will be attending the next day and starts bringing

him to meet the teachers of these classes. I could visible see that

he was getting very upset and anxious. I turned around and asked

the Dr's social worker what had changed in the last hour and a half

from what was agreed upon at the meeting. She said that this was

the first that she had heard of it too.

When we got to the car, my son blew up. He said 'they lied to me!'

I am not going back there. Take me to see my conselor now!!!!! His

couselor was able to get him in for an emergency session. While at

the counselor's office, he started make several paranoid

statements. This is exactly what we were trying to avoid. He told

his counselor 'I am foing to end up hurting someone at the school,

and it is going to be a faculty member.' His counselor was very

angry about what the school had did. He immediately got on the

phone and started calling. He told the school that they were very

unprofessional. That the recommendations that he and the dr had

made were not made lightly. He said that this was something that

had been thought about for several days, and also told them that we

ALL needed to be doing things that were in my son's best interest.

He also informed the school that my son would only be coming for the

2 hour day, in the small room, and under no circumstances was he to

attend a regular class.

So I had to miss another day of work today to go into the school

with my son this AM. He would only stay for 20 mins. So, I don't

know how this is going to work. I cant miss anymore work, I'm a

single parent of two and my work is our only income.

The couselor tried to explain to the school how they 'blew it' with

my son by changing things after a plan was already in place. The

school has been told time and time again that he has trust issues

and it is very hard for my son to deal with sudden change. This was

all brought up again at the meeting.

Sorry so long----

FRUSTRATED---

Lori

[Guest guest]

Lori, I am SO sorry, I can relate to what you are going through. I had similar problems with my dd when she started middle school last year. At the time, we did not have the correct diagnosis for her so did not understand what was going on very well. She ended up in the Mercy lin hospital for 4 days after having a huge violent meltdown and threatening herself, my then 5 yr old nt son and me with harm. That was when she finally got her correct diagnosis. We realized that changing from elementary where the classes/enviornment were very structured and mostly with one teacher and very routine to jr high where they have to take a huge amount more responsibility for themselves and their posessions etc was just too much for her. The doctor explained to me that just going from one class to her locker and to another class was literally hell for her, all the noise, distractions etc PLUS having to remember where to go, how to act and what to take with her.... It has

gotten better but is still not perfect. She does not want to go to ANY special ed classes or even spend for example study hall in the smaller room etc because she does not want to be "different" or "stupid" plus there is a boy in there that they have hated one another since kindergarten, just oil and water personalities and there would be violence on one or both parts so we can't put her in there. Also her grades are all A's and B's at least they were at the end of last school year, it is just very stressful for her and she does the "holding it all in til she gets home" thing too which is very hard on all of us. She is angry and frustrated and violent and has meltdowns due to it. We just do not know what to do to make it better for her anymore than we have. She has a "safe" place to go when she feels frustrated. She has a teacher contact point for when an assignment does not "click" for her and she needs extra help or an alternate assignment (although the female teacher

who was doing that last year moved so now she has a new one who is male, we shall see how that goes) She has allowances in PE because her gross motor skills are very clumsy when trying to run, jump etc. So even though it is better, it is not good. I guess I just take it as it goes I guess. All I can say is keep fighting and do not let them get away with doing something further to hurt your son. I personally would get an attorney. That is what it took (at least the threat of one) to get a response from the AEA here. Good luck and God bless!DeeDeespeckledssy <ljdragan@...> wrote: >> My 13yr old son has dx of AS, ODD, OCD, mood disorder, anxiety, > depression. He recently also received a dx of Schizoaffective > disorder.I have always had trouble with the school. > Their communication with me is horrible. They seem to think that > there is nothing wrong with my child. They took him off of his IEP > in February, because he 'test to high' to be on one. According to > the school, his medical dx do not affect his educational > perfomance. So far, they have not let him even get on a 504 plan.> > My son's condition has changed signifigantly this summer. He > started to become very paranoid.>

> His medical professionals (pediatrician, psychiatrist, and > counselor), my son, and myself all feel he is unable to cope with > the middle school environment at this time. The medical > prfessionals feel he would benifit from being placed in a smaller > environment. There is an alternative school that holds up to 50 > students here in our town. The only catch is that you have to have > a recommendation from the public school to be able to go to the > alternative school.My son's peditrician has > set up a meeting with the school in the peditrician's office for > Tuesday morning. All of my son's medical professionals, myself and > his grandmother are going to be there. > > Thanks---Lori>Latest Update:We had the meeting Tuesday morning in the Dr office. My son's doctor, counselor, Dr's social worker, myself, and my mom were there.

The school's assistant principal and school counselor attended. My son came to the first 10 mins of the meeting. The meeting lasted an hour. The doctor and the counselor once again attempted to explain to the school officials how serious my son's conditions are. My son's doctor is even in the opinion that he should not be attending the public school at all. My son told the school officials his reasons why he is not able to attend the large classrooms and chaos off the middle school. He even said to them, 'In the past I was always able to hold it all in until I got home, I can't do that this year, I am going to end up hurting someone where they will be bloody.' The school counselor asked him if he meant another student. My son said 'maybe'.The law sts that you have to be in school until 16 years of age. There is a referal process for my son to get into the alternative school. So it was set up for him to attend a 2

hour school day at the middle school in a small room with a teacher for the time being. The school proposed the idea of this. My son's doctor and counselor agreed to the plan. I thought that the school was finally starting to understand my son's medical conditions and fragile mental state. We set up an appt with the school for my son to go to the school and get familiar with his classroom and his teacher for about an hour and a half after the meeting ended.When we got to the school, the whole plan suddenly changed. Imagine that. The dr and my son's counselor were not there. The only other person there besides myself, my son, and my mother, was the social worker from the Dr's office. Immediately when we arrived, the assistant principal hands my son his schedule and precedes to tell him what class he will be attending the next day and starts bringing him to meet the teachers of these classes. I could visible see

that he was getting very upset and anxious. I turned around and asked the Dr's social worker what had changed in the last hour and a half from what was agreed upon at the meeting. She said that this was the first that she had heard of it too.When we got to the car, my son blew up. He said 'they lied to me!' I am not going back there. Take me to see my conselor now!!!!! His couselor was able to get him in for an emergency session. While at the counselor's office, he started make several paranoid statements. This is exactly what we were trying to avoid. He told his counselor 'I am foing to end up hurting someone at the school, and it is going to be a faculty member.' His counselor was very angry about what the school had did. He immediately got on the phone and started calling. He told the school that they were very unprofessional. That the recommendations that he and the dr had made were not made lightly. He

said that this was something that had been thought about for several days, and also told them that we ALL needed to be doing things that were in my son's best interest. He also informed the school that my son would only be coming for the 2 hour day, in the small room, and under no circumstances was he to attend a regular class.So I had to miss another day of work today to go into the school with my son this AM. He would only stay for 20 mins. So, I don't know how this is going to work. I cant miss anymore work, I'm a single parent of two and my work is our only income.The couselor tried to explain to the school how they 'blew it' with my son by changing things after a plan was already in place. The school has been told time and time again that he has trust issues and it is very hard for my son to deal with sudden change. This was all brought up again at the meeting.Sorry so

long----FRUSTRATED---Lori

Talk is cheap. Use Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

[Guest guest]

Lori, You may want to consider hiring an advocate to help you with all of this. Let me tell you, I used to go to IEP's alone. Finally I decided to hire an advocate........ You would not believe the knowledge they have. I wont EVER go to another IEP without an advocate. It costs a little bit of money but is well worth it. They know the law and help you fight for your child...... Give it a shot!!!! Good Luck!!!! in Lancaster, Caspeckledssy <ljdragan@...> wrote: >> My 13yr old son has dx of AS, ODD, OCD, mood disorder, anxiety, > depression. He recently also received a dx of Schizoaffective > disorder.I have always had trouble with the school. > Their communication with me is horrible. They seem to think that > there is nothing wrong with my child. They took him off of his IEP > in February, because he 'test to high' to be on one. According to > the school, his medical dx do not affect his educational > perfomance. So far, they have not let him even get on a 504 plan.> > My son's condition has changed signifigantly this summer. He > started to become very paranoid.> > His medical professionals (pediatrician, psychiatrist, and > counselor), my son, and myself

all feel he is unable to cope with > the middle school environment at this time. The medical > prfessionals feel he would benifit from being placed in a smaller > environment. There is an alternative school that holds up to 50 > students here in our town. The only catch is that you have to have > a recommendation from the public school to be able to go to the > alternative school.My son's peditrician has > set up a meeting with the school in the peditrician's office for > Tuesday morning. All of my son's medical professionals, myself and > his grandmother are going to be there. > > Thanks---Lori>Latest Update:We had the meeting Tuesday morning in the Dr office. My son's doctor, counselor, Dr's social worker, myself, and my mom were there. The school's assistant principal and school counselor attended. My son came to the first 10 mins of the

meeting. The meeting lasted an hour. The doctor and the counselor once again attempted to explain to the school officials how serious my son's conditions are. My son's doctor is even in the opinion that he should not be attending the public school at all. My son told the school officials his reasons why he is not able to attend the large classrooms and chaos off the middle school. He even said to them, 'In the past I was always able to hold it all in until I got home, I can't do that this year, I am going to end up hurting someone where they will be bloody.' The school counselor asked him if he meant another student. My son said 'maybe'.The law sts that you have to be in school until 16 years of age. There is a referal process for my son to get into the alternative school. So it was set up for him to attend a 2 hour school day at the middle school in a small room with a teacher for the time being. The school

proposed the idea of this. My son's doctor and counselor agreed to the plan. I thought that the school was finally starting to understand my son's medical conditions and fragile mental state. We set up an appt with the school for my son to go to the school and get familiar with his classroom and his teacher for about an hour and a half after the meeting ended.When we got to the school, the whole plan suddenly changed. Imagine that. The dr and my son's counselor were not there. The only other person there besides myself, my son, and my mother, was the social worker from the Dr's office. Immediately when we arrived, the assistant principal hands my son his schedule and precedes to tell him what class he will be attending the next day and starts bringing him to meet the teachers of these classes. I could visible see that he was getting very upset and anxious. I turned around and asked the Dr's social worker what had

changed in the last hour and a half from what was agreed upon at the meeting. She said that this was the first that she had heard of it too.When we got to the car, my son blew up. He said 'they lied to me!' I am not going back there. Take me to see my conselor now!!!!! His couselor was able to get him in for an emergency session. While at the counselor's office, he started make several paranoid statements. This is exactly what we were trying to avoid. He told his counselor 'I am foing to end up hurting someone at the school, and it is going to be a faculty member.' His counselor was very angry about what the school had did. He immediately got on the phone and started calling. He told the school that they were very unprofessional. That the recommendations that he and the dr had made were not made lightly. He said that this was something that had been thought about for several days, and also told them that we

ALL needed to be doing things that were in my son's best interest. He also informed the school that my son would only be coming for the 2 hour day, in the small room, and under no circumstances was he to attend a regular class.So I had to miss another day of work today to go into the school with my son this AM. He would only stay for 20 mins. So, I don't know how this is going to work. I cant miss anymore work, I'm a single parent of two and my work is our only income.The couselor tried to explain to the school how they 'blew it' with my son by changing things after a plan was already in place. The school has been told time and time again that he has trust issues and it is very hard for my son to deal with sudden change. This was all brought up again at the meeting.Sorry so long----FRUSTRATED---Lori

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[Guest guest]

What are the truancy laws in your state? What services does your child

presently receive? Are you in danger of losing your job if you take more

time off of work? Can your son be at home without direct supervision?

This sounds like an emergency.

I would have your doctor write a note to excuse your son from school, get

his academic work and do the work at home until this gets straightened

out. Your son does not have the luxury of time, the school has the luxury

of time. It sounds as though the school is going to play games in the

mistaken belief that you will " go away " and that your son will " snap out

of it " . I think your doctor and councilor know that your son is not going

to " snap out of it " .

When my grandson at age 7 was doing worse and worse in school environment,

the teacher and principal simply could not comprehend his autism, etc., I

checked out the truancy laws to avoid problems caused by vindictive school

personal, called his doctor for note, brought him in and explained what

was happening and her response was: Get him out of there (the school

environment). Because he was receiving speech and OT services, the teacher

and I pretended that he was really going to come back to school so that he

could continue to receive the services for the remainder of the year while

I home schooled him. He is now in a virtual online public charter school

with an IEP which includes minimum services, but this is ground-breaking

for this state. People who know him " then " and see him " now " are amazed at

how much progress he has made as a human being..... all because he was

removed from a toxic environment.

So... if your child is old enough to be home alone, or able to be with

grandma while you work, I would look at online schooling as a viable

solution. The idea is to grow through childhood and become a functioning

and happy adult. It seems entirely unnecessary to allow your child to get

side-tracked by the school in his journey of education and growth.

Priscilla

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