Re: - Showers etc.

[Guest guest]

, Bless your heart hon. I has to be really difficult to deal with this when you are a stepparent. My ex husband's wife would call me frequently when Molly went to them for a year absolutely horrified by things like - Molly eats her scabs (gross), she picks her nose, she refuses to make sure that when she has her period that she does things like not leave bloody panties on the floor, that she wraps her pads up before throwing them in the trash. I sometimes would have to try so hard not to laugh, because I have had her from 5 yo on. She was with my mom from 18 months until she was 5 (very ugly messy divorce). We had these problems with Molly too - I replied before about my 9 year old Sara, but molly's thing was more along the lines of wearing dirty clothing, putting trash into her drawers and under her mattress etc., the girl can be just nasty lol. As I said before - smell

him - hair arms and breath when he gets out of the shower. If he doesn't smell clean to you - put him back into the shower. Routine is key here, if he knows that you are going to check and calmly tell him to get back in - (have his Dad PUT him back in if necessary) he will give. Once he gets the feel of being clean he will want to stay that way. This WILL be a fight, but it is worth it. Also, with Molly, she too will completely withdraw into her own anime world if we let her. We allow her to do what she wants but she has time limits on everything. Her routine when she gets home from school is: Chores - (she tidies the front room, vacuums, and does the bathroom. Then she has homework which she usually does at school. She is allowed one hour a day on the computer IF her other chores/responsibilities are complete, and all my kids can read to their hearts content, if she is in her room and not

being pissy, I let her stay in there, if she seems withdrawn, I have her read in my sewing/work room. It was actually a formal living room, but I use it for sewing, quilting and the computer since I work from home quite a bit. There is a comfy couch in here for reading. I will say that my son, (adhd/cognitive ld) has always been a lot more private than my three girls. I don't know if that is a boy thing or what. He tends to want to be in his room, he plays guitar, keyboard, piano, bass, drums etc., etc., so he is frequently in his room with the keyboard in front of him and working on music that he writes for his band. I have always asked him to spend at least an hour with the family a day. Music is a very healthy pursuit, and since he is the most "normal" of all the kids, I know that the stress gets to him. We have four kids - Max (almost 18 - dx'd with adhd/major depression/cognitive ld)

he has almost completely overcome all of his problems, and music was the key for him... Molly (14, Aspgergers, Mild Mood Disorder, PTSD - some ocd traits and tics) she is severe AS and was misdiagnosed until she was 13, SaraCait (9, ADHD severe, r/o mood disorder - this one is a firecracker - she is very angry since Hope was dx'd, oppositional, whiny, cries (actually screams) for up to 5 hours at a stretch when things don't go her way - it gets really ugly), Hope (5 years old, Autistic, Adhd (cannot medicate for the adhd because of her aggression), she has a 1:1 aide at school, and due to that, and her aggression which has decreased in intensity and frequency with meds but still makes finding child care next to impossible. She bites, scratches, kicks - scratches her face until it bleeds, punches and slaps herself in the head, she has a vocabulary that is higher than Sara's - Sara is not very good with academics - more the athletic type, on the eval

said that Hopes vocabulary was that of a 9-11 year old. She has superior academics, superior visual spatial skills, but her communication ability is that of a 2-3 year old. She has zero frustration tolerance, and I have gone through 3 child care providers, plus she was only able to go to school for 1 1/2 hours a day last year. So, I feel your pain..... Anytime you want to talk, my IM is: - diegowench. angelndragon03 <blueblazer_16201@...> wrote:

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they wentWill There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.Ben A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loveshimself.Josh Billings

Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.

[Guest guest]

Wow !

You have quiet a load on your hands. You have obviously been very

successful in structuring their time to allow for their unique

individual interests and the family concerns as well. That takes

alot of effort!

Bill

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go

where they

> went

> Will

>

> There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your

face.

> Ben

>

> A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves

> himself.

> Josh Billings

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and

30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.

>

[Guest guest]

,

I'm all for Mike reading as much as he wants, I love

to read myself and could never understand why my own

sons weren't into it. (unless it's the sports section,

lol) He has alot of books, but he'll read the same one

over and over, Harry Potter. He could prob. recite

word for word what's written. His TSS worker felt we

should try to shift him to other areas of reading, he

was going into his fantasy world to much. He goes to

theraputic camp three days a week with other teens his

age, we're hoping he makes some friends. The only kids

on our block are younger, the older ones wouldn't be a

good influence on Mike at all. We have enough of the

backtalk without him mimicking the other teens! Just

this morning, he had to write sentences for not taking

his meds. They're put on the counter every morning, he

needs to take them by 10 so they wear off by bedtime.

He's been forgetting alot lately, told me this morning

he doesnt know why he has to take them, they dont do

anything for him. I tried to explain in a few

sentences and he said I was lecturing him. I can't

win. I don't get on messenger much, but if I see you

online, I'll say hi. (prob. talk your ear off!! lol.)

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

I'm all for Mike reading as much as he wants, I love

to read myself and could never understand why my own

sons weren't into it. (unless it's the sports section,

lol) He has alot of books, but he'll read the same one

over and over, Harry Potter. He could prob. recite

word for word what's written. His TSS worker felt we

should try to shift him to other areas of reading, he

was going into his fantasy world to much. He goes to

theraputic camp three days a week with other teens his

age, we're hoping he makes some friends. The only kids

on our block are younger, the older ones wouldn't be a

good influence on Mike at all. We have enough of the

backtalk without him mimicking the other teens! Just

this morning, he had to write sentences for not taking

his meds. They're put on the counter every morning, he

needs to take them by 10 so they wear off by bedtime.

He's been forgetting alot lately, told me this morning

he doesnt know why he has to take them, they dont do

anything for him. I tried to explain in a few

sentences and he said I was lecturing him. I can't

win. I don't get on messenger much, but if I see you

online, I'll say hi. (prob. talk your ear off!! lol.)

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

- What is a TSS worker? <blueblazer_16201@...> wrote: ,I'm all for Mike reading as much as he wants, I loveto read myself and could never understand why my ownsons weren't into it. (unless it's the sports section,lol) He has alot of books, but he'll read the same oneover and over, Harry Potter. He could prob. reciteword for word what's written. His TSS worker felt weshould try to shift him to other areas of reading, hewas going into his fantasy world to much. He goes totheraputic camp three

days a week with other teens hisage, we're hoping he makes some friends. The only kidson our block are younger, the older ones wouldn't be agood influence on Mike at all. We have enough of thebacktalk without him mimicking the other teens! Justthis morning, he had to write sentences for not takinghis meds. They're put on the counter every morning, heneeds to take them by 10 so they wear off by bedtime.He's been forgetting alot lately, told me this morninghe doesnt know why he has to take them, they dont doanything for him. I tried to explain in a fewsentences and he said I was lecturing him. I can'twin. I don't get on messenger much, but if I see youonline, I'll say hi. (prob. talk your ear off!! lol.)__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

We're involved with wraparound services, a TSS is

Theraputic Staff Support, someone who comes into the

home 5 hrs a week and works on communication and

social skills. Mike got pretty close with the last

worker but he was promoted last week so now we're

waiting to see who we get. Hopefully it's someone who

is knowledgeable about Aspergers, we've had some who

had no clue about Mike's behaviors. Talk about

frustrating!

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I'm in Pennsylvania, wraparound was recommended by

Mike's therapist. The services are only covered by

the medical card, when my older son had them, we had

to go through welfare and tell them it was a medical

necessity for him to get the card (he had ODD)so we

could get the services.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I attempted to get wraparound for Molly who at that point was dx'd as BP/Tourettes/OCD/ODD/ADD and was told since she was not mentally retarded, did not have non verbal autism or cerebral palsy she would not qualify for any services. Her dx has been changed to hfa/as now - and pretty much we are running into the same issues for both her and Hope. Hope's dx is Autism, Molly's is AS although I say that she fits the HFA label more -and so far - we cannot get anything. <blueblazer_16201@...> wrote: I'm in

Pennsylvania, wraparound was recommended byMike's therapist. The services are only covered bythe medical card, when my older son had them, we hadto go through welfare and tell them it was a medicalnecessity for him to get the card (he had ODD)so wecould get the services. __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Where do you live at? I am in Ohio, county and work as a Wraparound Facilitator. Wraparound doesn't serve just mentally retarded kids. they serve all families. when they get a referral everyone usually gets help.There may be a waiting list, but I have never heard of anyone being turned down or told anything like that .I would contact someone else and try again. Wraparound is services for the entire family, not just the child. Sharon

In a message dated 7/19/2006 12:14:26 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, diegowench@... writes:

I attempted to get wraparound for Molly who at that point was dx'd as BP/Tourettes/OCD/ODD/ADD and was told since she was not mentally retarded, did not have non verbal autism or cerebral palsy she would not qualify for any services. Her dx has been changed to hfa/as now - and pretty much we are running into the same issues for both her and Hope. Hope's dx is Autism, Molly's is AS although I say that she fits the HFA label more -and so far - we cannot get anything.

[Guest guest]

I agree that they help the entire family, there have

been many times I've called with a concern and they've

been able to help. They even had someone who would

make appointments for me if I wanted, but my schedule

is so hectic it's easier for me to do it myself. My

other son still remembers advice he was given about

managing his anger from when he was in wraparound, and

that was over 7 years ago. Excellant service

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I agree that they help the entire family, there have

been many times I've called with a concern and they've

been able to help. They even had someone who would

make appointments for me if I wanted, but my schedule

is so hectic it's easier for me to do it myself. My

other son still remembers advice he was given about

managing his anger from when he was in wraparound, and

that was over 7 years ago. Excellant service

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I live in San Diego, CA. I recently had a regional center appointment, and was very put off by her attitude. I have contacted everyone I can think of - and so far no luck. I walk around feeling like my head is full of cotton, I can't think, barely function, and Hope becomes more and more physically aggressive every day - my husband is on deployment and making friends when you have a child who is as aggressive as my five year old is, is impossible - my only friend got transferred out of state about a month ago. Sounds like a pity party huh? I am just wiped out - all I want to do is work! I function when I can leave the house for the day and be successful at something. Knowing that I am next to useless to my child - and that I am failing my office, is almost too much. I guess I just don't even have any idea of what to do or how to do it. SSch184188@... wrote: Where do you live at? I am in Ohio, county and work as a Wraparound Facilitator. Wraparound doesn't serve just mentally retarded kids. they serve all families. when they get a referral everyone usually gets help.There may be a waiting list, but I have never heard of anyone being turned down or told anything like that .I would contact someone else and try again. Wraparound is services for the entire family, not just the child.

Sharon In a message dated 7/19/2006 12:14:26 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, diegowench@... writes: I attempted to get wraparound for Molly who at that point was dx'd as BP/Tourettes/OCD/ODD/ADD and was told since she was not mentally retarded, did not have non verbal autism or cerebral palsy she would not qualify for any services. Her dx has been changed to hfa/as now - and pretty much we are running into the same issues for both her and Hope. Hope's dx is Autism, Molly's is AS although I say that she fits the HFA label more -and so far - we cannot get anything. If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they wentWill There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.Ben A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loveshimself.Josh Billings

Talk is cheap. Use Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

[Guest guest]

Jen, I am not sure if this is a "national" thing or a state thing but my daughter just started get services under the "Mental Health Waiver" a couple of months ago. It provides x amount of dollars per month to be used as necessary for the child/environment. We get, I think it is, $1200 per month for services. That can be anything from an alarm system so you know when they wander to in home therapy to skills training. My dd currently gets 4 hours per week of services. For consistency, they use one therapist for both services. She/we get 2 hours of individual/family therapy and 2 hours per week of "social skills training". The therapy is in home and then takes her out for the "social skills training part". A social worker suggested this to me when I commented that it was so hard to get services for Elissa because she WAS so intelligent and did not offer much trouble at school. (just serious, violent meltdowns at home and elsewhere.) The only

thing I have to say is we did have to focus on her other dx to get her qualified (ADHD, ODD, Mood disorder nos) and the violent behaviors, but now that we have the service, her needs as a teen with AS are being addressed as the root of the violent behaviors etc and we are trying to teach her more "appropriate" ways to deal with things. For example, is teaching her this acronym "STOP" meaning when something happens and she is upset, she is to Stop, Think of Options, and Plan. So instead of attacking her brother or screaming cuss words, she is to think of a more appropriate way to respond. She loves acronyms etc so memorizing it was no problem and she is doing ok with understanding why she is to do it so we shall see. But for us, living in a very rural area and having few services available without driving an hour (and she has recently decided she HATES being in the car for any length of time), and I have changed my life around so I work

at home to be here when the kids need me. However, I do daycare so I cannot just up and drive her an hour every week for therapy, this has been a lifesaver. Her therapist drives the hour one way a day each week to see us! Anyway, just thought it might be helpful if it is national. It also automatically qualifies her for Title 19 (Medicaid) and they think it will help us with her SSI claim. Just a thought! Good luck all and God bless! DeeDeeJen <diegowench@...> wrote: Where are you getting wraparound services? What state are you in? The reason that I ask is that I have been told by almost everyone that Molly (who has AS and is 14) doesn't qualify for any services at all because of her IQ and her AS dx. <blueblazer_16201@...> wrote: We're involved with wraparound services, a TSS isTheraputic Staff Support, someone who comes into thehome 5 hrs a week and works on communication andsocial skills. Mike got pretty close with the lastworker but he was promoted last week so now we'rewaiting to see who we get. Hopefully it's someone whois knowledgeable about Aspergers, we've had some whohad no clue about Mike's behaviors. Talk aboutfrustrating!

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