Liz-PARTNERS MUM INTERFERING AGAIN

[Guest guest]

Liz,

Once a mummy's boy, always a mummy's boy. Even if he were to stand up to her, or move away from her, he would be racked with so much guilt every day that he would sink into a depression and take it out on you for influencing him.

At the moment Graham cant even speak up for himself, which is something all of us naturally learn to do when we enter our teens & twenties.

And as for your sister, she sounds like a viper in the nest. Do not let her rent your flat!

You own your own flat; why move away from your own domain into someone else's - it doesnt make sense.

Can he not apply for a Council flat near to you? He could put in his application that you are his partner, you help each other out in practical ways, mother is an angry woman and he has realised that he needs to move area in order for their relationship to improve. His social worker can do this for him, surely. But quite frankly, Liz, I suspect it is too late for Graham and once away from his mother, he will have to find another role in life otherwise he will miss being henpecked.

Lida in London

PARTNERS MUM INTERFERING AGAIN

My partner Graham's mum is interfering again, my partner is getting very upset about it.

She made him sort out his tablets yesterday, they are in boxes in the kitchen, she stood over him while he was doing it! She also told him what he had to have for tea! My partner did eventually raise his voice to her as she even had the cheek to say I shouldn't leave any clothes at his flat (it was her who originally suggested the idea rather than carry them backwards and forwards!). My partner said that a lot of people have said we should carry on as we are going backwards and forwards rather than live together! She was hinting I should move in again! We are away from each other at the moment so I could do things at home which I'm relieved about, I want Graham but not his mum!

His mum has said she won't help any more as he doesn't want her, Graham admits now after being told by a friend that he is a mummys boy, he thinks his mum needs counselling as she is a very bitter person. Both me and my partner are having to go due to her attitude, we can't answer back! She seems to be against me.

I am plannning on going back to my partner's next week. I don't mind going to his home, each time he wants to come back with me his mum goes on about I should move in soon! Graham then starts on me too which doesn't help.

One of my sisters isn't much help, she really wants my flat so would like me to move, sometimes I feel my family is against me, not thinking of me at all, I do have nieces and nephews who I am quite close to! I also have friends not too far away. ONe of my friends pointed out that if I moved I wouldn't see friends or family, she suggested I perhaps move nearer Graham but not with him. She said that maybe he could get a transfer near me too, his mum has recently suggested he move to another flat as his has steps up to it! Mine doesn't have steps and its bigger! I wouldn't expect him to move in as I've said previously but he doesn't seem keen on moving nearer me either. He even said that if my sister could afford it she could move in, she does smoke!!! I have breathing problems and all this isn't helping. I feel quite breathless today again.

I look forward to your comments. I am going fora sleep study about my oxygen soon, do I mention this stress to them. I think his mum's Dr should do something about his mum as she is making both of us quite ill, Graham has breathing problems and curviture of the spine too, which is caused in his case by ehlers danlos so he's not that fit!

Thanks for all your help in the past, much appreciated.

Take care

Liz

x

[Guest guest]

His mother is controlling but strangely enough also terrified to ba alone. Doubt she will change. Her behavioral patterns are set. Good luck. That's a hard situation.Sent from my iPhoneOn Mar 11, 2012, at 1:16 AM, "Lida Kraz" <lidakraz@...> wrote:

Liz,

Once a mummy's boy, always a mummy's boy. Even if he were to stand up to her, or move away from her, he would be racked with so much guilt every day that he would sink into a depression and take it out on you for influencing him.

At the moment Graham cant even speak up for himself, which is something all of us naturally learn to do when we enter our teens & twenties.

And as for your sister, she sounds like a viper in the nest. Do not let her rent your flat!

You own your own flat; why move away from your own domain into someone else's - it doesnt make sense.

Can he not apply for a Council flat near to you? He could put in his application that you are his partner, you help each other out in practical ways, mother is an angry woman and he has realised that he needs to move area in order for their relationship to improve. His social worker can do this for him, surely. But quite frankly, Liz, I suspect it is too late for Graham and once away from his mother, he will have to find another role in life otherwise he will miss being henpecked.

Lida in London

PARTNERS MUM INTERFERING AGAIN

My partner Graham's mum is interfering again, my partner is getting very upset about it.

She made him sort out his tablets yesterday, they are in boxes in the kitchen, she stood over him while he was doing it! She also told him what he had to have for tea! My partner did eventually raise his voice to her as she even had the cheek to say I shouldn't leave any clothes at his flat (it was her who originally suggested the idea rather than carry them backwards and forwards!). My partner said that a lot of people have said we should carry on as we are going backwards and forwards rather than live together! She was hinting I should move in again! We are away from each other at the moment so I could do things at home which I'm relieved about, I want Graham but not his mum!

His mum has said she won't help any more as he doesn't want her, Graham admits now after being told by a friend that he is a mummys boy, he thinks his mum needs counselling as she is a very bitter person. Both me and my partner are having to go due to her attitude, we can't answer back! She seems to be against me.

I am plannning on going back to my partner's next week. I don't mind going to his home, each time he wants to come back with me his mum goes on about I should move in soon! Graham then starts on me too which doesn't help.

One of my sisters isn't much help, she really wants my flat so would like me to move, sometimes I feel my family is against me, not thinking of me at all, I do have nieces and nephews who I am quite close to! I also have friends not too far away. ONe of my friends pointed out that if I moved I wouldn't see friends or family, she suggested I perhaps move nearer Graham but not with him. She said that maybe he could get a transfer near me too, his mum has recently suggested he move to another flat as his has steps up to it! Mine doesn't have steps and its bigger! I wouldn't expect him to move in as I've said previously but he doesn't seem keen on moving nearer me either. He even said that if my sister could afford it she could move in, she does smoke!!! I have breathing problems and all this isn't helping. I feel quite breathless today again.

I look forward to your comments. I am going fora sleep study about my oxygen soon, do I mention this stress to them. I think his mum's Dr should do something about his mum as she is making both of us quite ill, Graham has breathing problems and curviture of the spine too, which is caused in his case by ehlers danlos so he's not that fit!

Thanks for all your help in the past, much appreciated.

Take care

Liz

x

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