Hair Removal 101 (A must read)

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Hair removal 101...God love the woman who shared this...

> All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of >easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors,razors, Nair and >now...>> The wax.>> My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix >dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring >painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the >wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my >demise; the bathroom.> It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot >wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get >warm and you peel them apart, press it to your leg> (or wherever else) and hair comes right off.> No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly girl, >but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*>> So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each >other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out >the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh >how this phrase haunts me!)>> I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight >and pull.

OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!> Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all >wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.> With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids >I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting >championship.> I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the >same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side of bikini >line, covering the right half of my v-g-na and stretching down to >the inside of my butt cheek Yes, it was a long strip)> I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!!> I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!> Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off >half of the strip. crap!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP.> Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? >OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip >with my hairy pelt, that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. >I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I >hold up the> strip! There's no hair on it.> Where is the hair. WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head >down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair..The hair >that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. crap I run >my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now >covered in cold wax and matted hair.>>Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember my >foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do >something. So I put my foot down. noo!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of >the cell door. V-g-n- Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut. I penguin >walk around the> bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself >"Please don't let me get> the urge to poop. My head may pop off" Hot water!! Hot water >melts wax!!> I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, >immerse the wax covered bits and the waxshould melt and I can gently >wipe it off right???> *WRONG!!!!!!!*> I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used >to torture prisoners of war> or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing >worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having >them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In >scalding hot water.> Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to >the bottom of the tub!!> God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the >bathroom!!!!!> I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some >secret of how to get me> undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and >who-ha are stuck to the bottom> of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret >trick but does try to hide> the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is >located on bottom "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?"> She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the >rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. >YEAH!!!!!> Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we >go through various solutions.> I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels >better then to have your girlie> goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in >super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the >brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into >glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand >reaches towards the saving grace....the lotion they give you to >remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point.> I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the >kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care. >"IT WORKS!!> It works!!>> I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I >successfully remove> the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and >despair..................................> THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF >IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.> So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.>> Next week I'm going to try hair color......