emotions

[Guest guest]

Dear Dr. BJ,

Could you explain to me what happens when a person is an emotional cripple?

I remember seeing a program where there was severe abuse in a family. The

mother ended up killing her husband. He had been extremely abusive to her

and the children. What stuck in my mind was that the therapist said with

therapy they could go through life with an emotional limp, but without

therapy they would be emotional cripples. Any thought or insights? How

does an emotional cripple become emotionally healthy? BTW, they all seemed

physically healthy but depressed.

Thanks in advance,

Gail

emotions

> It is Sunday night and I finally have the time to address my point of view

on the entire understanding of anger as well as all negative emotions. Hope

this helps to put the negative emotions in a different light, the light of

pure energy.

>

> Anger can be a double-edged power source as it is one of the most high

octane of all emotions, for great actions or for igniting a legitimate

grievance. Yet, when it's bottled up we can smolder away and when we erupt

it may engulf us. When we are the target of a volatile temper there will be

scars.

>

> We tend to emote automatically in response to an inside or outside event.

Sometimes we respond in ways which, when we have calmed down, we regret. We

get angry, we get upset, we give up, when logically, we wish we had

expressed a different emotion. Similarly we get excited and enthusiastic

about things, which had we been able to follow our reason, we would not have

pursued with such passion. We feel we cannot control or direct our emotions.

We are at the mercy of outside or unconscious forces. The goal here is to be

free to express ones emotions as appropriate.

>

> There is a cycle to all emotions that I believe all humans experience. We

relate to them either through our thought process, (how we think), through

our emotions directly, or through our physical bodies. All three processes

are different and separate. How we think about things, or how we process

information on an intellectual basis, is very different than how we feel

about things on an emotional level, or what we feel physically from our

bodies relating to the physical world around us.

>

> The emotional body I believe is the most misunderstood. So many of us on

a spiritual path attempt to circumvent our experience on an emotional level.

They do this by thinking that they can get rid of something that is not on a

physical level at all. I am aware that we experience our emotions

physically through our bodies therefore they (the emotions) must express the

same laws of physics that our physical bodies express. These laws are

expressed in the form of elements.

>

> The emotions come under the water principal (constriction) expressed

through the body. The elements come under this principle and there is a

cycle to the elements. From the higher frequency element of ether to the

lowest frequency element of earth there is a cycle and in that cycle the

higher frequency is ruler over the lower frequencies. This means, even

though water can be in the form of ice, water or steam, the ice will always

melt when put in a pan of water. The lower frequency does effect the

higher, as the water will get colder. Above the elements, the thinking

reasoning body comes under the fire principal (expansion) expressed through

the mind. When the mind and body are in a state of balance then the air

principal (neutral) is expressed through our deepest truths as we understand

them.

>

> The highest emotion is grief, the element of ether, expressed through the

throat (that lump in the throat that always occurs with grief). All forms

of grief are some type of loss. Someone that you loved and died, the keys

to your car, your pet dog, or some philosophy or ideology that you believed

in and found out is now not right for you. All loss produces a vacuum that

the laws of physics says must draw something to it, to fill the vacuum.

Therefore grief can either move upwards to the third eye point, in the

forehead, where we can think about the loss and realize that we are still a

complete human even with this vacuum, or we move downward and start the

cycle of the elements.

>

> Moving downward when the grief is suppressed we move to the chest area,

the element of air, the seat of desire, and we create something tangible to

fill that void. When the desire finally up-wells from within and we know

intellectually what it is (that boom box we can't live without) there will

come a unique sigh from the chest, that always occurs. Have you ever been

window shopping and seen something that you wanted, do you remember the

sigh?

>

> Once we know what that desire is, we drop to the next center the solar

plexus, the element of fire, the seat of pain, frustration, and anger. Here,

one of two things happens, we either get it or we don't. We feel pain about

not having it (that boom box to make me complete) causing us to experience

frustration (very uncomfortable) about not having it, so we block the

frustration producing anger, about not having it (severe constriction).

Anger is always a secondary emotion directed outward, where the primary

emotion was pain about not having it. The anger either causes the fire of

heartburn and digestive problems or to the extreme, the fiery pain of a

heart attack, and we die by burning our own heart. When the fire of anger

intensifies, we either burn or drop to the next center.

>

> The next center is the generative organs, the element of water, the seat

of attachments. The water now mixes with fire to produce steam that can do

work. Using this steam will produce energy and we go out and work for it, or

steal it. Either way we must get it to feel complete. Once we have the

thing of our desire (always something external) we now become attached to

the very thing of our desire. Many people confuse attachments with love,

the difference is love has no attachments. When a mate might say, if you

love me than you would do... what they really mean is, if you want to stay

attached to me, you better do...

>

> As the intensity of our attachment grows (remember the boom box) we

finally drop to the lowest center, the colon, the element of earth, the seat

of fear. We now become afraid of losing our attachment so we start building

walls to protect it. Locks on our doors and an alarm so I would know

whenever someone tried to take the object of my desire (the boom box) away.

When overwhelmed with fear the bowels will release or produce some action on

our part for protection.

>

> This then was the downward spiral of the cycle of emotions. As we learn

about ourselves through all the various techniques of personal growth we

then start the upward spiral of the emotional cycle.

>

> Whatever it is that helps us to learn about ourselves at some point we

realize that we are a complete person even without the object of our desire

(the boom box). At this point we are moving upward and our fear about not

having the boom box is diminished and we move out of the earth element and

up to the water element.

>

> At the water element our growth continues and we realize that our

attachment to our object is also diminished and we can live without this

item, allowing the continued upward movement.

>

> Moving upward to the fire element, our anger and frustration is diminished

and even the pain of maybe not having this object falls away. See we are

learning, I feel better, there is no pain.

>

> Continuing the upward movement next is the air element and the desire for

this object is now diminished. Our growth is almost complete so I move

upward again.

>

> Now at the ether element and the emotion of grief, low and behold it is

gone. I don't need this boom box, I think I am complete. Yet wait, I now

experience that emptiness again and that loss again. Well, if it is not a

boom box that I need than what is it? I don't know, so, the downward spiral

starts all over again with another external desire and the cycle is

never-ending. One desire after the next always looking outside for something

that will fill me up and help me to feel complete.

>

> Some, and I do mean only a few, move upward through their grief and to

that third eye focus, where the seat of the mind is, and we can use our

intellect to move out of this emotional cycle. Nothing external can ever

fill that void that we may often feel, only the understanding that we are

part of the vastness of the universe and something greater, and on an

energetic level we might sometimes experience that oneness.

>

> All emotions both negative and positive are either stepping stones or

stumbling blocks and not something you can ever get rid of. They produce

the energy of pressure needed to produce the movement our growth on a daily

basis.

>

> Each day ask yourself, " What can I accomplish today? " And at the end of

each day ask, " What have I accomplished today? " One never stays the same in

life; you either go forward or backward, inward or outward, upward or

downward. Accomplishing something each days keeps you growing and moving

forward!

>

> Failure is closer to success than doing nothing.

>

>

> Dr. Eliezer Ben-ph

> Personal and Financial Freedom

> www.naturalsolutionsradio.com (home page)

> www.herbs4health.com (herb shop)

> www.successlinks.com/global-3 (financial freedom)

> www.16thamendment.com/global-3 (IRS income tax fraud)

> www.taxstatement.com/global-3 (IRS income tax fraud)

>

> Watch your thoughts; they become your words.

> Watch your words; they become your actions.

> Watch your actions; they become your habits.

> Watch your habits; they become your character.

> Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/24/2006 1:45:00 PM Eastern Standard Time, ravenmagic2003@... writes:

That happens to me in RL as well as online, and yet, I am an intensely emotional person.

This is an interesting observation. Even though I rarely feel emotions, often when they do come they are intense. In my studies about AS, that seemed to be a rather common trait.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/24/2006 4:06:08 PM Eastern Standard Time, rrabbits@... writes:

I turn off all my emotions in a crisis and it has been useful becauseafter one crisis at a place I worked, the District managercomplimented me on how I handled the crisis. (A worker got hit byfalling scaffolding and I ordered people what to do and called 911 andordered one of the managers out to the street to hail the ambulancewhen they arrived and direct them to the man down. The office managerhad gone hysterical and the site manager didn't seem to know what todo. I was working as a temporary to send out bill and answer phones.Sometimes emotions just tangle you up and keep you from accomplishingwhat is needed. Of course after the crisis is over and all done thenI feel shaky inside.

That's an interesting observation. I too usually get quite calm in a crisis situation. After it is over I'm still usually calm, though sometimes worn out.

Combat situations are much the same. Distance combat, like with guns, I'm usually fairly calm. Hand to hand is different in that my reaction is more often a major release of adrenaline and an allo out attack (probably because most people are larger than me so the reaction makes some sense). Hand to hand also leaves me shaky afterwards. That said, I've never been in a two sided gunfight (I've been shot at twice without being able to return fire, and I have shot at people twice, warning shots to get them to run off rather than kill them, and have also cleared houses and checked out noise more times than I can count) so it is likely that actually being in one would leave me shaky aftwards, just like the few hand to hand fights I have had have done.

[Guest guest]

> I did some searching about feelings and emotions online just now.

> When I went to Wikipedia and the first few lines about those who lack

> the ability to feel emotions are those with Asperger's. I guess I

> must have missed it or did not want to make the connection to myself.

> This hollow feeling will never be filled will it? Just wanted to let

> it out.

I don't believe that people with Asperger's lack the ability to feel

emotions, but rather some people with Asperger's may dissociate from

their feelings as a coping mechanism for sensitivities that cause them

to feel vulnerable or out of control. Have you always felt devoid of

emotion or was there a time when you felt differently?

sara

[Guest guest]

I do feel emotions - just not in a non aspie way, therefore I have been

called called hearted and emotionless in RL. Often I am not aware of

emotions or have a delayed reaction. I can also occasionally get

emotional overload - I know I care and that is all that matters to me -

still it hurts when others say I do not - now I am coming to realise

those that say that just do not know me.

Feeling strong, powerful and overwhelming emotions can hurt anyway - I

often prefer the numbness. The exception being that sometimes I hurt so

much inside and yet cannot cry - that is why I self harmed in the past

I needed to feel something - a release - I didn't even know what self

harming was when I was doing it.

Also another annoyance is not been able to express my emotions in a way

that non aspies can understand (and sometimes other aspies too) - I

rarely use the word 'love' - sometimes I feel moved to use it, but the

word 'love' in my opinion has been too abused by many and the real deep

meaning has been lost.

To me love really is profound, but to many others it is just a word -

so how can I convey to people my feelings - I have no idea. So many

people are used to false sentimentalities that my words may have little

meaning to them, just easily brushed off, plus I often word

inadequately anyway :-( I think I have improved in my communication,

but I still have a long way to go and verbally I just make a mess of it

due to my tone of voice and body language etc not matching my true

meaning/intent.

>

> I couldn't get this out of my head and am tired of not feeling any

> true emotions. I have talked to my therapist about my " numbness " and

> she only told me antidepression meds and getting involved would make

> things better. I read through all I could find on Asperger's but did

> not make a connection until just now.

>

> I did some searching about feelings and emotions online just now.

> When I went to Wikipedia and the first few lines about those who lack

> the ability to feel emotions are those with Asperger's. I guess I

> must have missed it or did not want to make the connection to

myself.

> This hollow feeling will never be filled will it? Just wanted to let

> it out.

> Kim

>

[Guest guest]

Have you always felt devoid of emotion or was there a time when you

felt differently?

>

> sara

Why doesn't my therapist ask me questions like the one you just did?

You have me really thinking now. From the time when I was young until

now if things were going well around me I feel content. When I create

or accomplish something I'm satisfied with my work. If other people

tell me they like it, I feel proud. I have enjoyed the sensation of

fear such as riding a rollercoaster or driving fast.

I need to take some more time to mull this over. Great question.

Kim

[Guest guest]

wrote: " I do feel emotions - just not in a non aspie way,

therefore I have been called cold hearted and emotionless in RL ...

<snip> ... "

That happens to me in RL as well as online, and yet, I am an intensely

emotional person. It just seems that very few people are aware of

this fact. Hmmmm, I wonder what causes that? Most likely it's the

lack of anticipated facial reactions by those who are not AS, although

I have had Aspies comment that they had no idea the degree to which I

can be emotional. This being the case, perhaps it's cultural for me

as First Nations people allegedly do not show emotion either. Hmmmm,

I wonder what causes that? :-o

Raven

[Guest guest]

> That happens to me in RL as well as online, and yet, I am an intensely

> emotional person. It just seems that very few people are aware of

> this fact. Hmmmm, I wonder what causes that? Most likely it's the

> lack of anticipated facial reactions by those who are not AS, although

> I have had Aspies comment that they had no idea the degree to which I

> can be emotional. This being the case, perhaps it's cultural for me

> as First Nations people allegedly do not show emotion either. Hmmmm,

> I wonder what causes that? :-o

I also feel that I'm intensely emotional, but even my husband says he

can't always tell by looking at me when I'm experiencing strong

emotions. I had noticed, at least in some First Nations people, the

more serious neutral facial expressions. My grandma is Blackfeet, and

has been interpreted as cold, aloof. (My grandpa is Nez Perce.) I was

startled when I first heard someone suggest that she didn't like them,

because I had always known her as one of the warmest, most caring

people I've ever known. Grandma also told me that she has never known

how to make comfortable small talk.

I've also noticed that when I think about being Indian, I feel that

neutral expression on my face. Perhaps it has something to do with a

worldview that encompasses much more than the visible physical world.

sara

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/24/2006 6:48:18 PM Eastern Standard Time, aspie_girl@... writes:

In my teens I felt numb. The only emotions I couldidentify were fear and anger. I really did not startgetting in touch with my emotions again until I had mychildren. Even then, I did not get full access to themuntil I was in my mid 30's.

This is interesting too. Anger and fear were the only emotions I usually felt as a teen too, probably as a result of the alienation and bullying. It was so bad at boarding school, but at home it was very bad, since my former friends had pretty much all decided that I was the enemy. It was no fun being bottled up in the house all summer, since going outside in daylight was dangerous.

I'm not sure when things turned around, but it was at least in my late 20's.

[Guest guest]

> Why doesn't my therapist ask me questions like the one you just did?

> You have me really thinking now. From the time when I was young until

> now if things were going well around me I feel content. When I create

> or accomplish something I'm satisfied with my work. If other people

> tell me they like it, I feel proud. I have enjoyed the sensation of

> fear such as riding a rollercoaster or driving fast.

>

> I need to take some more time to mull this over. Great question.

I believe that anything in our lives that doesn't feel right was

created by us at some point, and that we can discover when and why. I

learned to ask myself that question from a book called Coyote Wisdom,

by Mehl-Madrona. He's got a website, too,

http://www.healing-arts.org/mehl-madrona/. His ideas are helping me to

challenge some beliefs I have about myself, and to change some

unhelpful patterns.

I'm distrustful of drug therapies. I think they create more problems

than they solve, and perhaps they just bury problems.

-sara

[Guest guest]

> Why doesn't my therapist ask me questions like the one you just did?

> You have me really thinking now. From the time when I was young until

> now if things were going well around me I feel content. When I create

> or accomplish something I'm satisfied with my work. If other people

> tell me they like it, I feel proud. I have enjoyed the sensation of

> fear such as riding a rollercoaster or driving fast.

>

> I need to take some more time to mull this over. Great question.

I believe that anything in our lives that doesn't feel right was

created by us at some point, and that we can discover when and why. I

learned to ask myself that question from a book called Coyote Wisdom,

by Mehl-Madrona. He's got a website, too,

http://www.healing-arts.org/mehl-madrona/. His ideas are helping me to

challenge some beliefs I have about myself, and to change some

unhelpful patterns.

I'm distrustful of drug therapies. I think they create more problems

than they solve, and perhaps they just bury problems.

-sara

[Guest guest]

Sara wrote: " I was startled when I first heard someone suggest that

she didn't like them, because I had always known her as one of the

warmest, most caring people I've ever known. "

I can relate.

Sara wrote: " I've also noticed that when I think about being Indian,

I feel that neutral expression on my face. "

I don't feel that feeling but other people tell me they cannot read my

face. I find that odd because I think my face can be very expressive.

Go figure.

Raven

[Guest guest]

Sara wrote: " I was startled when I first heard someone suggest that

she didn't like them, because I had always known her as one of the

warmest, most caring people I've ever known. "

I can relate.

Sara wrote: " I've also noticed that when I think about being Indian,

I feel that neutral expression on my face. "

I don't feel that feeling but other people tell me they cannot read my

face. I find that odd because I think my face can be very expressive.

Go figure.

Raven

[Guest guest]

I turn off all my emotions in a crisis and it has been useful because

after one crisis at a place I worked, the District manager

complimented me on how I handled the crisis. (A worker got hit by

falling scaffolding and I ordered people what to do and called 911 and

ordered one of the managers out to the street to hail the ambulance

when they arrived and direct them to the man down. The office manager

had gone hysterical and the site manager didn't seem to know what to

do. I was working as a temporary to send out bill and answer phones.

Sometimes emotions just tangle you up and keep you from accomplishing

what is needed. Of course after the crisis is over and all done then

I feel shaky inside.

On 4/24/06, VISIGOTH@... <VISIGOTH@...> wrote:

>

> In a message dated 4/24/2006 12:10:22 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> 6emini@... writes:

>

> I couldn't get this out of my head and am tired of not feeling any

> true emotions. I have talked to my therapist about my " numbness " and

> she only told me antidepression meds and getting involved would make

> things better. I read through all I could find on Asperger's but did

> not make a connection until just now.

>

>

>

> I was like this in high school and it was more or less something I somehow

> trained myself to do, though I'm not sure how. It took a long time to come

> down

> from and the process was rather turbulent. It probably did have something

> to

> do with AS, though I was unaware of it at the time.

>

> Even now, most of the time I don't feel much of anything. Emotion only

> crops

> up on occaision every now and then, but most of the time there is little or

> nothing. I have to admit, I prefer it that way given how much trouble I have

>

> observed emotions as causing.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/24/2006 10:30:05 PM Eastern Standard Time, drumthis2001@... writes:

Metal kicks butt. Please do. You reminded me of Pat Benatar's "Love is a battlefield".

I like metal too: Metallica, Iron Maiden, White Zombie and the local band, Gwar.

[Guest guest]

> This is an interesting observation. Even though I

> rarely feel emotions,

> often when they do come they are intense. In my

> studies about AS, that seemed to

> be a rather common trait.

>

>

I have intense emotions. I also display them quite

intensely. When I was a child my mother constantly got

after me for being " too dramatic " or emotional [even

when I was happy], so by the time I was about 10 I

learned to stuff them. I became very stoic and quiet.

In my teens I felt numb. The only emotions I could

identify were fear and anger. I really did not start

getting in touch with my emotions again until I had my

children. Even then, I did not get full access to them

until I was in my mid 30's.

Still, I don't allow myself to really express them

unless I am with someone I know well. I mean, if I get

mad, sad, or really happy, I get really LOUD. I shout

loudly, cry loudly, and laugh loudly. It comes across

as very OTT to people [which is probably why my mother

kept telling me to shut up and stop " embarrassing " her

when I was little.]

Even then, if I am really in an emotional state I will

retreat to a solitary place to express it. My husband,

even though he has seen me emotional, has never seen

me at my most emotional.

Even though my emotions are intense and overwhelm me

at times, I still prefer them to my " numb " days.

Take care,

Gail :-)

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

aspie_girl@... wrote: " In my teens I felt numb. The only emotions

I could identify were fear and anger. "

wrote: " This is interesting too. Anger and fear were the

only emotions I usually felt as a teen too, probably as a result of

the alienation and bullying. "

At 16 I was a metal queen road warrior, fronting an awesomely angry

rock band. It served me well. Nothing says liquor sales like a

aloof babe in spandex with that 'get a life' look and kicking butt

on stage. Later on, what I couldn't squeek in with the rock band

made it to my alter ego punk band (yes, for those who have no idea,

I had an alter ego punk rock band and we made good coin ... it paid

for the rock band's gear) fronted by one of the guys in the band.

I wasn't numb though. Man! there were feelings there and they were

absolutely intense, which translated exceptionally well from the

stage to the audience.

It still translates exceptionally well these many years later. It

may not be heavy metal anymore, but it can absolutely be

dramatically nasty when push my buttons comes to shove.

If anyone's interested maybe I can figure out how to stream a tune

here the way did for me last month on this forum.

Raven

[Guest guest]

Metal kicks butt. Please do. You reminded me of Pat Benatar's "Love is a battlefield". ravenmagic2003 <ravenmagic2003@...> wrote: aspie_girl@... wrote: "In my teens I felt numb. The only emotions I could identify were fear and anger." wrote: "This is interesting too. Anger and fear were the only emotions I usually felt as a teen too, probably as a result of the alienation and bullying."At 16 I was a metal queen road warrior, fronting an awesomely angry rock band. It served me well. Nothing says liquor sales like a aloof babe in spandex with that 'get a life' look and kicking butt on stage. Later on, what I couldn't squeek in with the rock band made it to my alter ego punk band (yes, for those who have no idea, I had an alter ego punk rock band and we

made good coin ... it paid for the rock band's gear) fronted by one of the guys in the band.I wasn't numb though. Man! there were feelings there and they were absolutely intense, which translated exceptionally well from the stage to the audience.It still translates exceptionally well these many years later. It may not be heavy metal anymore, but it can absolutely be dramatically nasty when push my buttons comes to shove.If anyone's interested maybe I can figure out how to stream a tune here the way did for me last month on this forum.Raven

Blab-away for as little as 1¢/min. Make PC-to-Phone Calls using Messenger with Voice.

[Guest guest]

> I have intense emotions. I also display them quite

> intensely. When I was a child my mother constantly got

> after me for being " too dramatic " or emotional [even

> when I was happy], so by the time I was about 10 I

> learned to stuff them. I became very stoic and quiet.

My little girl, 3.5 yrs old, is also an Aspie, and she is, to my ears,

very loud and dramatic. I'm glad that I discovered Asperger's while

she is so young, because I may have otherwise driven her to stuff it

as I did, and to feel that no one cared.

A couple of years back, my sister tried to convince me that she was

crazy because she loses control in arguments with boyfriends, and ends

up running down the street screaming. I told her, " If you're crazy,

than so am I, because I've done the same thing many times. " I had

hidden my emotions so well most of the time that even my own sister

hadn't seen them at their height.

sara

[Guest guest]

> I have intense emotions. I also display them quite

> intensely. When I was a child my mother constantly got

> after me for being " too dramatic " or emotional [even

> when I was happy], so by the time I was about 10 I

> learned to stuff them. I became very stoic and quiet.

My little girl, 3.5 yrs old, is also an Aspie, and she is, to my ears,

very loud and dramatic. I'm glad that I discovered Asperger's while

she is so young, because I may have otherwise driven her to stuff it

as I did, and to feel that no one cared.

A couple of years back, my sister tried to convince me that she was

crazy because she loses control in arguments with boyfriends, and ends

up running down the street screaming. I told her, " If you're crazy,

than so am I, because I've done the same thing many times. " I had

hidden my emotions so well most of the time that even my own sister

hadn't seen them at their height.

sara

[Guest guest]

My little girl, 3.5 yrs old, is also an Aspie, and she is, to my

ears, very loud and dramatic. I'm glad that I discovered Asperger's

while she is so young, because I may have otherwise driven her to

stuff it as I did, and to feel that no one cared.

A couple of years back, my sister tried to convince me that she was

crazy because she loses control in arguments with boyfriends, and

ends up running down the street screaming. I told her, " If you're

crazy, than so am I, because I've done the same thing many times. " I

had hidden my emotions so well most of the time that even my own

sister hadn't seen them at their height.

Sara,

I am glad I've learned so much about this and am able to relate

to my nine year old son in the same way. I can also tell him that

we both have to work on controlling our anger(not hitting, throwing

things,name calling) but that being angry is ok. The hardest part

for my husband to understand is how I can let it loose at home but

not in public and my son too can behave perfectly in school but at

home he explodes.

That we both don't have a problem controlling ourselves while

out in public leads my hubby to believe it is a behavior that we

should be able to keep in check. My son told him that he has to

keep those angry feelings inside all day because he does not want to

spend his day in the office. He needs to save face or the other

kids would pick on him and tease him. He feels safe at home that we

will love him no matter what he does so this is where he lets it all

out.

I know many on the forum are opposed to medications and I have

only been taking prozac and lamictal for two years now but the

difference in my mood swings is incredible. My kids and my husband

say they no longer have to tiptoe around me for fear of the bomb

going off. With this also, I am able to keep calm when my son blows

so I do not make the situation worse by yelling, screaming, or

trying to logic with him when he is too emotional to think clearly

and I no longer have the guilt for doing things I shouldn't have

done.

Even on the meds, it is still work but I guess anything good

has to involve effort.

Kim

[Guest guest]

My little girl, 3.5 yrs old, is also an Aspie, and she is, to my

ears, very loud and dramatic. I'm glad that I discovered Asperger's

while she is so young, because I may have otherwise driven her to

stuff it as I did, and to feel that no one cared.

A couple of years back, my sister tried to convince me that she was

crazy because she loses control in arguments with boyfriends, and

ends up running down the street screaming. I told her, " If you're

crazy, than so am I, because I've done the same thing many times. " I

had hidden my emotions so well most of the time that even my own

sister hadn't seen them at their height.

Sara,

I am glad I've learned so much about this and am able to relate

to my nine year old son in the same way. I can also tell him that

we both have to work on controlling our anger(not hitting, throwing

things,name calling) but that being angry is ok. The hardest part

for my husband to understand is how I can let it loose at home but

not in public and my son too can behave perfectly in school but at

home he explodes.

That we both don't have a problem controlling ourselves while

out in public leads my hubby to believe it is a behavior that we

should be able to keep in check. My son told him that he has to

keep those angry feelings inside all day because he does not want to

spend his day in the office. He needs to save face or the other

kids would pick on him and tease him. He feels safe at home that we

will love him no matter what he does so this is where he lets it all

out.

I know many on the forum are opposed to medications and I have

only been taking prozac and lamictal for two years now but the

difference in my mood swings is incredible. My kids and my husband

say they no longer have to tiptoe around me for fear of the bomb

going off. With this also, I am able to keep calm when my son blows

so I do not make the situation worse by yelling, screaming, or

trying to logic with him when he is too emotional to think clearly

and I no longer have the guilt for doing things I shouldn't have

done.

Even on the meds, it is still work but I guess anything good

has to involve effort.

Kim

[Guest guest]

I am not opposed to meds but my family has such a problem with drug

allergies and atypical responses to meds that we tend to reserve them

for worst case temporary usage. So, we try to use diet, and

behavioral modification and environmental modifications to help

ourselves function through the day, week, year, life. And we give

ourselves time away if we need it. Since this is not real conducive

to 9 to 5 work, we have invested in some rental houses to provide some

income. Also, I write.

On 4/25/06, Kim <6emini@...> wrote:

>

>

> My little girl, 3.5 yrs old, is also an Aspie, and she is, to my

> ears, very loud and dramatic. I'm glad that I discovered Asperger's

> while she is so young, because I may have otherwise driven her to

> stuff it as I did, and to feel that no one cared.

>

> A couple of years back, my sister tried to convince me that she was

> crazy because she loses control in arguments with boyfriends, and

> ends up running down the street screaming. I told her, " If you're

> crazy, than so am I, because I've done the same thing many times. " I

> had hidden my emotions so well most of the time that even my own

> sister hadn't seen them at their height.

>

>

> Sara,

>

> I am glad I've learned so much about this and am able to relate

> to my nine year old son in the same way. I can also tell him that

> we both have to work on controlling our anger(not hitting, throwing

> things,name calling) but that being angry is ok. The hardest part

> for my husband to understand is how I can let it loose at home but

> not in public and my son too can behave perfectly in school but at

> home he explodes.

>

> That we both don't have a problem controlling ourselves while

> out in public leads my hubby to believe it is a behavior that we

> should be able to keep in check. My son told him that he has to

> keep those angry feelings inside all day because he does not want to

> spend his day in the office. He needs to save face or the other

> kids would pick on him and tease him. He feels safe at home that we

> will love him no matter what he does so this is where he lets it all

> out.

>

> I know many on the forum are opposed to medications and I have

> only been taking prozac and lamictal for two years now but the

> difference in my mood swings is incredible. My kids and my husband

> say they no longer have to tiptoe around me for fear of the bomb

> going off. With this also, I am able to keep calm when my son blows

> so I do not make the situation worse by yelling, screaming, or

> trying to logic with him when he is too emotional to think clearly

> and I no longer have the guilt for doing things I shouldn't have

> done.

>

> Even on the meds, it is still work but I guess anything good

> has to involve effort.

>

> Kim

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

> acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Check the Links section for more FAM forums.

>

[Guest guest]

>>

> " I know many on the forum are opposed to medications and I have

> only been taking prozac and lamictal for two years now but the

> difference in my mood swings is incredible. "

It's not that I'm against drugs--sometimes they are necessary. If you

are very ill or in a lot of pain or just can't function without them,

sometimes they are necessary. It's that in more cases than is known

generally, many drugs are dangerous and can worsen a situation in the

long term or even short term. And a drug that is okay for some people

can cause serious side effects in others.

The problem is the system. The Pharmaceutical Industry is a multi-

billion dollar business and the largest business in the U.S. The idea

of a business is to make money and in a mega-machine like the

pharmaceutical industry, making a lot of money. Because of their size

and power, greed and corruption have taken seed. Many of those in the

FDA either work for, or have stock in this industry and stand to

benefit from the profits, so often drugs are passed without proper

testing. The FDA allows substances like Aspartame and others into our

food, knowing they are bad for us. We know that it was known that

Vioxx causes heart attacks and that all they had to do was include

CoQ10, but they left out the CoQ10 and covered up the fact that it

causes heart attacks. They tried to make the public think Ephedra was

banned, because it was dangerous, yet they kept the ephedrine in

drugs such as cough medicine. They weren't concerned that Ephedra was

dangerous--they didn't like that it competed with the chemical

version which is more dangerous. They can't patent and make money

off an herb or plant. Then they get to doctors and who do people

trust? Doctors. If a doctor says, try this natural remedy first they

can be fired, and have been. The AMA is powerful. Doctors can be

extremely persuasive in getting someone to take a drug or two or

three or four.

My concern is that people trust these agencies and don't question

them or do their own research. Also, I am concerned that cure or

treatment for a problem is more important than prevention and

diseases are being invented and thresholds lowered so that drugs can

be given.

The brain can react very badly to artificial levels of serotonin.

Little is known how antidepressants really work, or how the brain

works. It is a delicate balance and a finely tuned system. Obviously

something can go wrong with that system and when something goes wrong

there, it can really mess up a person's life and they want relief. I

just want to warn people so that they don't go into something with

trust and belief that it is completely safe. If it's the last resort

and gives you your life back, how can I criticize anyone?

[Guest guest]

" The brain can react very badly to artificial levels of serotonin.

Little is known how antidepressants really work, or how the brain

works. It is a delicate balance and a finely tuned system. Obviously

something can go wrong with that system and when something goes wrong

there, it can really mess up a person's life and they want relief. I

just want to warn people so that they don't go into something with

trust and belief that it is completely safe. If it's the last resort

and gives you your life back, how can I criticize anyone? "

I just wanted to add that a lot of information out there on medical

drugs is just theory and yet is often misleadingly taken as fact -

scary stuff indeed.

I am not totally agaisnt medical drugs either - I have taken prozac

in the past and I did research it - unfortunately I learnt later the

things I found out were possibly false and really just theory peddled

as fact :-(

> >>

> > " I know many on the forum are opposed to medications and I have

> > only been taking prozac and lamictal for two years now but the

> > difference in my mood swings is incredible. "

>

> It's not that I'm against drugs--sometimes they are necessary. If

you

> are very ill or in a lot of pain or just can't function without

them,

> sometimes they are necessary. It's that in more cases than is known

> generally, many drugs are dangerous and can worsen a situation in

the

> long term or even short term. And a drug that is okay for some

people

> can cause serious side effects in others.

>

> The problem is the system. The Pharmaceutical Industry is a multi-

> billion dollar business and the largest business in the U.S. The

idea

> of a business is to make money and in a mega-machine like the

> pharmaceutical industry, making a lot of money. Because of their

size

> and power, greed and corruption have taken seed. Many of those in

the

> FDA either work for, or have stock in this industry and stand to

> benefit from the profits, so often drugs are passed without proper

> testing. The FDA allows substances like Aspartame and others into

our

> food, knowing they are bad for us. We know that it was known that

> Vioxx causes heart attacks and that all they had to do was include

> CoQ10, but they left out the CoQ10 and covered up the fact that it

> causes heart attacks. They tried to make the public think Ephedra

was

> banned, because it was dangerous, yet they kept the ephedrine in

> drugs such as cough medicine. They weren't concerned that Ephedra

was

> dangerous--they didn't like that it competed with the chemical

> version which is more dangerous. They can't patent and make money

> off an herb or plant. Then they get to doctors and who do people

> trust? Doctors. If a doctor says, try this natural remedy first

they

> can be fired, and have been. The AMA is powerful. Doctors can be

> extremely persuasive in getting someone to take a drug or two or

> three or four.

>

> My concern is that people trust these agencies and don't question

> them or do their own research. Also, I am concerned that cure or

> treatment for a problem is more important than prevention and

> diseases are being invented and thresholds lowered so that drugs

can

> be given.

>

> The brain can react very badly to artificial levels of serotonin.

> Little is known how antidepressants really work, or how the brain

> works. It is a delicate balance and a finely tuned system.

Obviously

> something can go wrong with that system and when something goes

wrong

> there, it can really mess up a person's life and they want relief.

I

> just want to warn people so that they don't go into something with

> trust and belief that it is completely safe. If it's the last

resort

> and gives you your life back, how can I criticize anyone?

>