Guest guest Posted March 2, 2006 Report Share Posted March 2, 2006 Well, that's what they get for being so sensitive about things like that! I just heard of a sexual harrassment case against a man who told his coworker her clothes were falling off her! So much for the poor guy's attempts at a compliment. > > You know those sweet nothings non-Aspies sometimes greet people with? > > I witnessed one of those backfiring yesterday. > > Usually when my boss (a Vice President of the firm, and the > Chairman's wife) greets people, she'll say to men in order to > flatter them: > > " Boy are you tall! " > > Or to a woman she has met before: > > " You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last. " > > Well, yesterday I witnessed the following exchange: > > My boss: " You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last. " > > Client: " Hardly. I've gained ten pounds. It's nice to know you are > watching my weight for me, but I think it's rude to comment on it > and I'd rather keep my weight between me and my dietition if you > don't mind. " > > I had to stifle a giggle. Forgive me Lord. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2006 Report Share Posted March 2, 2006 My Fav noticeable: When are you expecting.. Reply: I'm not even pregnant. The person then becomes concerned of his or her weight problem or if felt heppy with who they are, deeply insulted or finds it humous themselves. I think comments are made to others to boost the ego of the other, it is a way of forming a relationship whether business or not. Superficiality or psycho-emotal-strategems?environmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote: You know those sweet nothings non-Aspies sometimes greet people with?I witnessed one of those backfiring yesterday.Usually when my boss (a Vice President of the firm, and the Chairman's wife) greets people, she'll say to men in order to flatter them:"Boy are you tall!" Or to a woman she has met before:"You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last."Well, yesterday I witnessed the following exchange:My boss: "You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last."Client: "Hardly. I've gained ten pounds. It's nice to know you are watching my weight for me, but I think it's rude to comment on it and I'd rather keep my weight between me and my dietition if you don't mind."I had to stifle a giggle. Forgive me Lord. TomAdministratorI'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/ Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2006 Report Share Posted March 2, 2006 My Fav noticeable: When are you expecting.. Reply: I'm not even pregnant. The person then becomes concerned of his or her weight problem or if felt heppy with who they are, deeply insulted or finds it humous themselves. I think comments are made to others to boost the ego of the other, it is a way of forming a relationship whether business or not. Superficiality or psycho-emotal-strategems?environmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote: You know those sweet nothings non-Aspies sometimes greet people with?I witnessed one of those backfiring yesterday.Usually when my boss (a Vice President of the firm, and the Chairman's wife) greets people, she'll say to men in order to flatter them:"Boy are you tall!" Or to a woman she has met before:"You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last."Well, yesterday I witnessed the following exchange:My boss: "You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last."Client: "Hardly. I've gained ten pounds. It's nice to know you are watching my weight for me, but I think it's rude to comment on it and I'd rather keep my weight between me and my dietition if you don't mind."I had to stifle a giggle. Forgive me Lord. TomAdministratorI'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/ Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2006 Report Share Posted March 2, 2006 I've had people ask me if I'm pregnant because my stomach kind of protudes. I just laugh and then make lots of efforts trying to make them feel better because they're embarrassed to death! > You know those sweet nothings non-Aspies sometimes greet people with? > > I witnessed one of those backfiring yesterday. > > Usually when my boss (a Vice President of the firm, and the > Chairman's wife) greets people, she'll say to men in order to > flatter them: > > " Boy are you tall! " > > Or to a woman she has met before: > > " You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last. " > > Well, yesterday I witnessed the following exchange: > > My boss: " You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last. " > > Client: " Hardly. I've gained ten pounds. It's nice to know you are > watching my weight for me, but I think it's rude to comment on it > and I'd rather keep my weight between me and my dietition if you > don't mind. " > > I had to stifle a giggle. Forgive me Lord. > > Tom > Administrator > > > > > > FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and acceptance. Everyone is valued. > > Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the folder marked " Other FAM Sites. " > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 I'd read part of a business book at the bookstore and it had steps in how to talk to a client. I remember strangers that knew my dad's side of the family would tell me I was getting taller. I could have cared less. I guess it's one of those ego-friendly things to say. environmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote: You know those sweet nothings non-Aspies sometimes greet people with?I witnessed one of those backfiring yesterday.Usually when my boss (a Vice President of the firm, and the Chairman's wife) greets people, she'll say to men in order to flatter them:"Boy are you tall!" Or to a woman she has met before:"You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last."Well, yesterday I witnessed the following exchange:My boss: "You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last."Client: "Hardly. I've gained ten pounds. It's nice to know you are watching my weight for me, but I think it's rude to comment on it and I'd rather keep my weight between me and my dietition if you don't mind."I had to stifle a giggle. Forgive me Lord. TomAdministrator Relax. virus scanning helps detect nasty viruses! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 Re: > I could have cared less. What does that mean, please? In the same circumstance, I'd have said " I could have cared more. " Yours for better letters, Kate Gladstone Handwriting Repair and the World Handwriting Contest handwritingrepair@... http://learn.to/handwrite, http://www.global2000.net/handwritingrepair 325 South Manning Boulevard Albany, New York 12208-1731 USA telephone 518/482-6763 AND REMEMBER ... you can order books through my site! (Amazon.com link - I get a 5% - 15% commission on each book sold) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 On 2 Mar 2006 Kate Gladstone wrote: > > I could have cared less. > > What does that mean, please? > In the same circumstance, I'd have said " I could have cared > more. " The original expression may have been " I couldn't have cared less. " I've heard it that way but that could have been someone " repairing " the expression. The " could have cared less " could mean something like " Theoretically I could have cared less, but I don't know how. " In any case, the expression means the same as " I couldn't have cared less. " Or it could be the result of people getting lazy with words. - s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 Actually, it should be " I could not have cared less. " Raven > > Re: > > > I could have cared less. > > What does that mean, please? > In the same circumstance, I'd have said " I could have cared more. " > > > Yours for better letters, > Kate Gladstone > Handwriting Repair and the World Handwriting Contest > handwritingrepair@... > http://learn.to/handwrite, http://www.global2000.net/handwritingrepair > 325 South Manning Boulevard > Albany, New York 12208-1731 USA > telephone 518/482-6763 > AND REMEMBER ... > you can order books through my site! > (Amazon.com link - > I get a 5% - 15% commission on each book sold) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 Its funny, I asked my neighbor how he was the other day, and He said, well I guess Im okay I don't complain cause nobody listens anyway. I said to him Matt I care, thats the only reason I ask, I am one of those weird individuals that when they ask you how your doing actually wants a really answer, to see if there is anything I can do to help if things aren't going right. He was really suprized with that, and laughed, and said well I guess I can't use that line with you. and that things are really okay. I guess the difference between aspies and NTS are if we ask a question its cause we want an answer its not just a platitude. Bethgreebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: In transactional anylsis - it's called strokes. Asking 'how are you' is a stroke and the supposedly correct response is 'I'm fine - how are you' which in turn is giving the person a stroke back.I personally dislike it psuedo compliments - I would rather have 1 real compliment than 10 psuedo ones that are just someone trying to butter me up - likely with ulterior motives too.Then again maybe I am just odd for not been very comfortable and not taking compliments very well? I know the correct response to a compliment is 'thanks', but doesn't exactly trip off my tounge. I have a tendency to negate the compliment and put myself down - I am learning and am trying though; but I will not play silly social games.>> My Fav noticeable:> > When are you expecting..> > Reply: I'm not even pregnant. The person then becomes concerned of his or her weight problem or if felt heppy with who they are, deeply insulted or finds it humous themselves.> > > I think comments are made to others to boost the ego of the other, it is a way of forming a relationship whether business or not. > > Superficiality or psycho-emotal-strategems?> Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 > > > > My Fav noticeable: > > > > When are you expecting.. > > > > Reply: I'm not even pregnant. The person then becomes concerned of > his or her weight problem or if felt heppy with who they are, deeply > insulted or finds it humous themselves. > > > > > > I think comments are made to others to boost the ego of the other, > it is a way of forming a relationship whether business or not. > > > > Superficiality or psycho-emotal-strategems? > > > Wow, I could have written that. When people compliment my outfit at church for instance. They'll say that is a beautiful suit. I won't (or can't) just say thank-you, I'll say oh I got this real cheap at such and such store. Or my sister gave me this suit, it's a handmedown.I am very uncomfortable with compliments.I noticed that if someone asks me how I'm doing and I *really* tell them, they are kinda shocked and kinda shuffle off quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 > > > > My Fav noticeable: > > > > When are you expecting.. > > > > Reply: I'm not even pregnant. The person then becomes concerned of > his or her weight problem or if felt heppy with who they are, deeply > insulted or finds it humous themselves. > > > > > > I think comments are made to others to boost the ego of the other, > it is a way of forming a relationship whether business or not. > > > > Superficiality or psycho-emotal-strategems? > > > Wow, I could have written that. When people compliment my outfit at church for instance. They'll say that is a beautiful suit. I won't (or can't) just say thank-you, I'll say oh I got this real cheap at such and such store. Or my sister gave me this suit, it's a handmedown.I am very uncomfortable with compliments.I noticed that if someone asks me how I'm doing and I *really* tell them, they are kinda shocked and kinda shuffle off quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 Should be 'couldn't have cared less'. Probably if you heard it spoken it would have sounded like 'coulda cared less.' and any Brits, sorry we do this to the language! > > Re: > > > I could have cared less. > > What does that mean, please? > In the same circumstance, I'd have said " I could have cared more. " > > > Yours for better letters, > Kate Gladstone > Handwriting Repair and the World Handwriting Contest > handwritingrepair@... > http://learn.to/handwrite, http://www.global2000.net/handwritingrepair > 325 South Manning Boulevard > Albany, New York 12208-1731 USA > telephone 518/482-6763 > AND REMEMBER ... > you can order books through my site! > (Amazon.com link - > I get a 5% - 15% commission on each book sold) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 People are always surprised when I mean it when I ask them how they are. Conversely, I dislike it when someone asks me how I am and doesn't even wait for the answer. > > > > My Fav noticeable: > > > > When are you expecting.. > > > > Reply: I'm not even pregnant. The person then becomes concerned of > his or her weight problem or if felt heppy with who they are, deeply > insulted or finds it humous themselves. > > > > > > I think comments are made to others to boost the ego of the other, > it is a way of forming a relationship whether business or not. > > > > Superficiality or psycho-emotal-strategems? > > > > > > > > > FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and acceptance. Everyone is valued. > > Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the folder marked " Other FAM Sites. " > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 > > > Wow, I could have written that. When people compliment my > outfit at church for instance. They'll say that is a beautiful suit. > I won't (or can't) just say thank-you, I'll say oh I got this real > cheap at such and such store. Or my sister gave me this suit, it's a > handmedown.I am very uncomfortable with compliments. I always say that I got the suit cheaply here or there to deflect the compliment, too. Then they look at me with a 'oh for pete's sake, just take the compliment' look. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 This bothers me also, not so much because what it's all a social formality, but because it shows that people hold you in high esteem ONLY if you know the formality. And it also bother me because it is tacitly understood between the two people that to be truthful during this formal exchange is WRONG, socially speaking. They could care less if you really care about them, and it's as plain as day that they really don't care how you are, even when they ask. So why say anything? I never ask " How are you? " unless I want to know how they are. If I don;t want to know how they are, I simply don't ask. Tom Administrator People are always surprised when I mean it when I ask them how they are. Conversely, I dislike it when someone asks me how I am and doesn't even wait for the answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 I may have written this here before but a family friend used to joke about how you ask people how they are and they always say 'fine' even if they aren't. He would say the word 'fine' in a certain way and we children would laugh. He committed suicide a few years later. I felt like that was a tiny cry for help that no one recognized--if he had been allowed to answer, " I'm not doing well at all " maybe he would have gotten the help he needed. > > People are always surprised when I mean it when I ask them how they > are. Conversely, I dislike it when someone asks me how I am and > doesn't even wait for the answer. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 > : "Then they look at me with a 'oh for pete's sake, just take the compliment' look."Who is 'pete'?  Rainbow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 just an expression"Rainbow ." <rainbow@...> wrote: > : "Then they look at me with a 'oh for pete's sake, just take the compliment' look." Who is 'pete'? Rainbow If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Heckofreelance proofreadernancygailus@... Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 Well, let's look up the origin of that saying...I always thought it must have something to do with the apostle , and yes, it does. It says that since swearing was wrong, people substituted the phrase 'for 's sake', a kind of fake holiness. It says it's called a 'minced oath'-- a word or phrase that's a euphenism for swearing. Well, I guess I just swore. Actually 'they' did, so I guess I'm okay. > > > : " Then they look at me with a 'oh for pete's sake, just > take the compliment' look. " > > Who is 'pete'? > > Rainbow > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 Okay, extreme reaction. However, I can see where she would get offended. It could be taken one of two ways: she is losing weight, or she makes her living as a prostitute.mikecarrie01 <mikecarrie01@...> wrote: Well, that's what they get for being so sensitive about things like that! I just heard of a sexual harrassment case against a man who told his coworker her clothes were falling off her! So much for the poor guy's attempts at a compliment.>> You know those sweet nothings non-Aspies sometimes greet people with?> > I witnessed one of those backfiring yesterday.> > Usually when my boss (a Vice President of the firm, and the > Chairman's wife) greets people, she'll say to men in order to > flatter them:> > "Boy are you tall!" > > Or to a woman she has met before:> > "You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last."> > Well, yesterday I witnessed the following exchange:> > My boss: "You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last."> > Client: "Hardly. I've gained ten pounds. It's nice to know you are > watching my weight for me, but I think it's rude to comment on it > and I'd rather keep my weight between me and my dietition if you > don't mind."> > I had to stifle a giggle. Forgive me Lord. > > Tom> Administrator>If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Heckofreelance proofreadernancygailus@... Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 Okay, extreme reaction. However, I can see where she would get offended. It could be taken one of two ways: she is losing weight, or she makes her living as a prostitute.mikecarrie01 <mikecarrie01@...> wrote: Well, that's what they get for being so sensitive about things like that! I just heard of a sexual harrassment case against a man who told his coworker her clothes were falling off her! So much for the poor guy's attempts at a compliment.>> You know those sweet nothings non-Aspies sometimes greet people with?> > I witnessed one of those backfiring yesterday.> > Usually when my boss (a Vice President of the firm, and the > Chairman's wife) greets people, she'll say to men in order to > flatter them:> > "Boy are you tall!" > > Or to a woman she has met before:> > "You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last."> > Well, yesterday I witnessed the following exchange:> > My boss: "You seem to have lost weight since I saw you last."> > Client: "Hardly. I've gained ten pounds. It's nice to know you are > watching my weight for me, but I think it's rude to comment on it > and I'd rather keep my weight between me and my dietition if you > don't mind."> > I had to stifle a giggle. Forgive me Lord. > > Tom> Administrator>If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Heckofreelance proofreadernancygailus@... Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 I get that, but the expression......It must have come from somewhere, and mean something.Anybody have a clue? Â Rainbow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 I get that, but the expression......It must have come from somewhere, and mean something.Anybody have a clue? Â Rainbow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 Thanks, . Â Rainbow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Share Posted March 3, 2006 Thanks, . Â Rainbow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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