Re: holding?

January 1, 2006

This topic getting a little racy for this forum since it is a family forum. Let's tone it down some.

January 1, 2006

-Not exactly.Sometimes i like close contact,other times i get nervous

from it.But i am into BDSM,and if i am tied just the right way it is

very comforting.i also enjoy strong stimulation(being whipped,waxed

etc),but only with trusted partners.Kajira

-- In , " maYa " <crna_kuna@y...> wrote:

>

> anyone had experience with holding? in the broadest sense, not just

> the holding-therapy. Because I once had quite an anger attack and

then

> my mom held me and I felt really calm after a while, so it did work

to

> calm me when angry. Don't know how it works though (is it love?

> acknowledgment of emotions? just the feeling of certainty of not

being

> able to move anymore?) so I'm curious what you ppl know about it, or

> if any of you had any experiences being held (what did it feel like

> for you?) tnx

>

January 1, 2006

>

> " I do not believe in restraining and do not believe it works,... "

>

> Well unless it's between two consenting adults of course ;-)

>

tnx for the replies!

the issue doesn't let me go, seriously... I think a lot about it.

Cause I don't remember exactly what has happened or how it felt, not

exactly...

I also don't like being touched or held - by strangers especially, by

my mom I enjoy it unless I am busy with something else, but often I

first allow it and later I come to her and hug her and say thank you

(when I finished what I was busy with). When I was really very

depressed I didn't want to be touched at all though.

And when I was angry it somehow took the anger away. I would also not

promote holding therapy, it doesn't sound very nice from what I've

read.

Also when I am angry at a certain person that person should NOT touch

me, I only get even more angry then. This was anger over something

else, and then my mom restrained me. At some point I felt a form

of 'surrendering' and that calmed me. So maybe it's the point where I

surrender, accept, which calms me, not necessarily the restraining

itself? that could also very well be. It's at some point I give up

fighting, then I calm. So it could very well be that.

:?

January 1, 2006

> When I am upset/frustrated/angry I need to burn the energy off and

> then generally collapse into a ball - rather like a foetal position

> and hug a pillow/cushion and rock - I find crying in these

situations

> a realease too - but whacks me out and seems to drain me of energy,

> making me extremely tired.

>

yes, that also helps for me, and I recognize the hugging of something

helps and crying too. Just that it's hard when I am angry to get into

a mind state of expressing it in another way than just screaming...

ok, writing also helps!! or puting on hardcore music and jumping

around the room, kicking the air around me and cursing the world )

January 1, 2006

>

> -Not exactly.Sometimes i like close contact,other times i get

nervous

> from it.But i am into BDSM,and if i am tied just the right way it is

> very comforting.i also enjoy strong stimulation(being whipped,waxed

> etc),but only with trusted partners.Kajira

>

I don't think I would like pain-infliction very much, but I had

interests in kinky sex and ritual sex, and I think I'd prefer

different forms of experimental and playful sex (incl clothing, tools,

stories etc) maybe it's like a form of Intimate LARP? Does that exist

at all or has my mind just come up with the next hype??? =)

January 1, 2006

" Intimate LARP? "

What is LARP?

> >

> > -Not exactly.Sometimes i like close contact,other times i get

> nervous

> > from it.But i am into BDSM,and if i am tied just the right way it

is

> > very comforting.i also enjoy strong stimulation(being

whipped,waxed

> > etc),but only with trusted partners.Kajira

> >

>

> I don't think I would like pain-infliction very much, but I had

> interests in kinky sex and ritual sex, and I think I'd prefer

> different forms of experimental and playful sex (incl clothing,

tools,

> stories etc) maybe it's like a form of Intimate LARP? Does that

exist

> at all or has my mind just come up with the next hype??? =)

>

January 1, 2006

Ooooops and I just asked a question concerning something I do not know -

I would still like to know what it means though 'LARP'?

>

> This topic getting a little racy for this forum since it is a family

forum.

> Let's tone it down some.

>

January 1, 2006

Personally, I long for touch. When I'm close to people for a long

time and get a lot of attention from them, I feel somewhat aroused. I

have to say that I'm somewhat interested in BSDM myself, but as a

Dom. I fantasize about tying up a gorgeous woman and exploring all of

her body. But in reality I'm also a nearly 33 year asocial loner that

has never had a girlfriend. Yeah, I've tried online dating, but I

can't sort out if the person I'm talking to is a 14-year old boy or a

20-year old woman. Also as soon they understand what I'm really after

(casual sex) that's a huge turnoff. I simply totally lack the social

skills.

> >

> > anyone had experience with holding? in the broadest sense, not

just

> > the holding-therapy. Because I once had quite an anger attack and

> then

> > my mom held me and I felt really calm after a while, so it did

work

> to

> > calm me when angry. Don't know how it works though (is it love?

> > acknowledgment of emotions? just the feeling of certainty of not

> being

> > able to move anymore?) so I'm curious what you ppl know about it,

or

> > if any of you had any experiences being held (what did it feel

like

> > for you?) tnx

> >

>

January 2, 2006

I used it with my son and it always seemed to help him when he was younger, as he gets older it seems better for us both to go to our separate corners till we cool off. Bethgreebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: Well personally I cannot stand being held (tactile issues) - but do occasionally love a hug from someone whom I love and whom loves me.I do not believe in restraining and do not believe it works, maybe holding is something different though? My son will come to me for hugs even though he has tactile issues - I am the only person he will hug when upset.When I am upset/frustrated/angry I need to burn the energy off and then generally collapse into a ball - rather like a foetal position and hug a pillow/cushion and rock - I find crying in these situations

a realease too - but whacks me out and seems to drain me of energy, making me extremely tired.>> > anyone had experience with holding? in the broadest sense, not just > the holding-therapy. Because I once had quite an anger attack and then > my mom held me and I felt really calm after a while, so it did work to > calm me when angry. Don't know how it works though (is it love? > acknowledgment of emotions? just the feeling of certainty of not being > able to move anymore?) so I'm curious what you ppl know about it, or > if any of you had any experiences being held (what did it feel like > for you?) tnx >

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January 2, 2006

I am like a cat in that I don't like to be touched lightly or held

firmly. The only times like to be held is if I am in the mood for

being held.

If someone comes up from behind and puts their arms around me, my

instinct is to flip them over my shoulder with a body slam and kick

them in the stomach.

A hot scalding bath (one that is too hot for most people) feels more

natural to me than being held.

Tom

Administrator

anyone had experience with holding? in the broadest sense, not just

the holding-therapy. Because I once had quite an anger attack and then

my mom held me and I felt really calm after a while, so it did work to

calm me when angry. Don't know how it works though (is it love?

acknowledgment of emotions? just the feeling of certainty of not being

able to move anymore?) so I'm curious what you ppl know about it, or

if any of you had any experiences being held (what did it feel like

for you?) tnx

January 2, 2006

maYa:

> as for LARP - it's Life Action Role Playing, playing roles in fantasy-

stories (with fantasy clothes, fake weapons, somewhere in a forest

mostly, or an archeology park). I've never done it since I am a bit

too shy for that, plus I'm probably not good at role playing anyways.

But my Aspie friend did and she said it was cool, just acting out

your frustration with a fake sword =) agh, I might try one day, who

cares what I look like? I could always play the freaky hermit who

grumps all day long or speaks in riddles! the fun part is you can

choose and develop your own character. It's not so forced. there is a

story, but you can be this character within the story. So maybe, it

isn't even that hard, maybe it's even possible to be more yourself in

LARP than in society, who knows? ) I might try with my bf if I get

him over to here (he's also into fantasy), at least fake

swordfighting sounds really cool!

Many young people are into role playing. It's rather popular here in Sweden.

And yes, it can absolutely be done in the bedroom too, and is. (Sorry

, just answering a question; I'm not going to give any details on HOW

it can be done.) :-)

And as I've written about on my relationships page, I think atypical tactile

needs and pain perception in combination with liking unusual things could

explain the rather high number of Aspies into atypical sex. This connection

between holding/hugging and restraints was one point I hadn't thought of; I

must add that to the list of possible explanations. Kajira, do you mind if I

quote you on what you wrote?

maYa, I don't like to be held when I'm angry either. No one better try touch

me at such times, unless they want a fist in the eye. :-) But I know that

some people get 'angry' when they are really sad inside; for them it might

help them get in touch with that sadness, though more likely it will just

tick them off even more! I find it more effective to try to VERBALLY get

them in touch with their sadness, and maybe then they WANT to be hugged.

Hugging anyone against their will I think is a form of rape. :-(

Inger

January 2, 2006

-OK.i was trying to be both honest and tasteful,which can be difficult

lol. Kajira

-- In , VISIGOTH@A... wrote:

>

> This topic getting a little racy for this forum since it is a family

forum.

> Let's tone it down some.

>

January 2, 2006

-Feel free to quote me! There are many people into medieval

reinacting and live role-playing.In college i was in the SCA(Society

for Creative Anachronism)and a couple smaller similar groups which

were more into fairytale/Tolkien/Gor novel stuff, not the " has to be

historically accurate " live RP(SCA is big on history).Kajira

-- In , " Inger Lorelei "

<inglori@s...> wrote:

>

> maYa:

> > as for LARP - it's Life Action Role Playing, playing roles in

fantasy-

> stories (with fantasy clothes, fake weapons, somewhere in a forest

> mostly, or an archeology park). I've never done it since I am a bit

> too shy for that, plus I'm probably not good at role playing

anyways.

> But my Aspie friend did and she said it was cool, just acting out

> your frustration with a fake sword =) agh, I might try one day, who

> cares what I look like? I could always play the freaky hermit who

> grumps all day long or speaks in riddles! the fun part is you can

> choose and develop your own character. It's not so forced. there is

a

> story, but you can be this character within the story. So maybe, it

> isn't even that hard, maybe it's even possible to be more yourself

in

> LARP than in society, who knows? ) I might try with my bf if I get

> him over to here (he's also into fantasy), at least fake

> swordfighting sounds really cool!

>

> Many young people are into role playing. It's rather popular here

in Sweden.

> And yes, it can absolutely be done in the bedroom too, and is.

(Sorry

> , just answering a question; I'm not going to give any

details on HOW

> it can be done.) :-)

>

> And as I've written about on my relationships page, I think

atypical tactile

> needs and pain perception in combination with liking unusual things

could

> explain the rather high number of Aspies into atypical sex. This

connection

> between holding/hugging and restraints was one point I hadn't

thought of; I

> must add that to the list of possible explanations. Kajira, do you

mind if I

> quote you on what you wrote?

>

> maYa, I don't like to be held when I'm angry either. No one better

try touch

> me at such times, unless they want a fist in the eye. :-) But I

know that

> some people get 'angry' when they are really sad inside; for them

it might

> help them get in touch with that sadness, though more likely it

will just

> tick them off even more! I find it more effective to try to

VERBALLY get

> them in touch with their sadness, and maybe then they WANT to be

hugged.

> Hugging anyone against their will I think is a form of rape. :-(

>

> Inger

>

January 3, 2006

>: "This topic getting a little racy for this forum...."What did I miss? Rainbow

January 3, 2006

>: "This topic getting a little racy for this forum...."What did I miss? Rainbow

January 3, 2006

You're too young to know.

Tom

Administrator

>: " This topic getting a little racy for this forum.... "

What did I miss?

Rainbow

January 3, 2006

The 7-year old boy we know that's Aspergers is very sensitive to

touch and doesn't like light touches but likes firm touches and

hugs. He likes to be hugged a lot. Somehow I knew this before I saw

it was true and would grab him or touch him strongly.

> >

> > anyone had experience with holding? in the broadest sense, not

just

> > the holding-therapy. Because I once had quite an anger attack and

> then

> > my mom held me and I felt really calm after a while, so it did

work

> to

> > calm me when angry. Don't know how it works though (is it love?

> > acknowledgment of emotions? just the feeling of certainty of not

> being

> > able to move anymore?) so I'm curious what you ppl know about it,

> or

> > if any of you had any experiences being held (what did it feel

like

> > for you?) tnx

> >

>

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support and acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page

in the folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

January 3, 2006

LOL!

Didn't you just hate it when adults said that when you were a kid? I was