Re: ugh.. I am so sorry.. I feel sooo BAD... ugh...

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/28/2005 6:45:02 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, inglori@... writes:

I'm psychic! ;-) (Actually, it just rung a bell and sounded familiar.) We have an author like that here in Sweden who also considers herself a 'cured' autistic, though she is still as much an Aspie as any of us.

I think saying "cured" is incorrect. What would probably be more accurate would be to say that we are "adapted" to the NT world rather than cured.

[Guest guest]

Hi Maya.

I am at work right now, but I will write a response at home and post

it either tonight or tomorrow.

We are always here when you need us.

With best thoughts for you!

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

maYa, WE like you as you are! I hope you're not going to hide from us too?

Who was the one who wrote that which upset you so? Temple Grandin? Or

someone else?

Inger

ugh.. I am so sorry.. I feel sooo BAD... ugh...

I don't know where to run to ((

I'm so sorry... I'm just desperate, don't know where to run to...

it was like this, read about someone who was autistic, then 'cured

herself because she was so strong' and now claims to be an example of

success and the others write about 'overcoming autism' and how, now

she is a succesful member of society, how that gives hope to parents

of autistic children and so on... but it sounded like 'look, I am now

like the normal ppl so I am good now!' plus she kept on saying how

autistic ppl are developmentally lower than normal people it

sounded like she hates autistic people more than that she cares about

their wellbeing!! I retreat to PROTECT MYSELF that is LOVE for me...

because society and people ARE MEAN TO ME!!!!! how can she choose

their side???? ((

...and ever since the attacks on me and this goddamn pressure on me

all the time to be like normal people and to be succesful in society

and how I'm worthless and whatever sucks about me as I am now and so

on and so on.. I just CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS!! I've been screaming

about her and about the poor animals and how they suffer and how this

society sucks and brainwashes everyone and pushes me down and I am

completely nervous now and don't know what to do... can't get rid of

this terrible feeling.. and I also stressed out our poor dog! but I

can't find solace, nobody understands me!! And I feel SO ATTACKED

AGAIN!! like everyone's against me!!

where is LOVE???

it's horrible!!!

please.. when will this end? when will this end??

ooooo... I feel so horrible!!

like everyone is against me... and then I fear the future and the

people and worst of all, this dreadful society!!! (((((((

must find ppl like me... PROTECTION... a place where I am allowed to

be LIKE ME not like them.... not always the hatred and pressure and

everything... not having to be like them... where I can be me....

safe safe.... freeeeeeee

I feel sooo bad (((((((

There's this song I like to share....

The Crüxshadows

Leave Me Alone

Leave me alone- I'm a freak

leave me alone- make it easy for yourself

everywhere I go they all stare

I don't understand why they care

they stare at me in all black

and when I turn they stare at my back

all these things can't,

all these things don't--

let me go.

Leave me alone- I'm a freak

leave me alone- make it easy for yourself

everywhere I go they all stare

I don't understand why they care

and I don't want to be a part of your world

and I don't want to see the things you see

can't you understand how I feel?

can't you let me be?

Please, leave me alone

Please, leave me alone

Please, leave me alone

Please, leave me alone

FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

acceptance. Everyone is valued.

Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the

folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

[Guest guest]

>

> maYa, WE like you as you are! I hope you're not going to hide from

us too?

>

> Who was the one who wrote that which upset you so? Temple Grandin?

Or

> someone else?

>

> Inger

>

thaaaaaanks!!!! ::blessing to you::

yeah her... ((( (how did you guess?!?! wow) and someone else but

don't know who.... but it's just everything they told me all my life

and the bullying and then the attack in 2001 and I can't seem to get

the criticism out of my head!!! (((

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi Maya.

>

> I am at work right now, but I will write a response at home and post

> it either tonight or tomorrow.

>

> We are always here when you need us.

>

> With best thoughts for you!

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

thank you thank you!!

I'm so grateful, I felt so alone today, thank you all so much for

being here!! thank you!!!

ooo and belated christmas greetings to all of you, I hope you had a

beautiful time!!

some friends of my mom came over for christmas, alternative folks, it

was so ok this year. was really nice..

I went to the nutcracker yesterday!!

was so busy before that learning for the exam, sorry!! I'm so happy

it's vacation now!! I can catch some breath, really need that!!

::gratitude::

maYa

[Guest guest]

Inger:

>> Who was the one who wrote that which upset you so? Temple Grandin?

>

maYa:

> yeah her... ((( (how did you guess?!?! wow)

I'm psychic! ;-) (Actually, it just rung a bell and sounded familiar.) We

have an author like that here in Sweden who also considers herself a 'cured'

autistic, though she is still as much an Aspie as any of us.

Sure, many of us can learn social skills, become less shy, get better at

comunicating and learn to get along fairly well with non-autistics (as long

as we follow THEIR rules and codes of conduct) but that doesn't change our

basic physical, neurological, emotional, mental or spiritual make-up.

> and someone else but don't know who....

I suspect they may just be eager for acceptance by mainstream society. Or

they may truly think they are 'cured' just because they are able to do

things that autistics officially aren't 'supposed to be able to do'. But

that's because autism 'experts' have too low an appreciation for people on

the spectrum, which in turn is probably due to the fact that they mainly see

those who are the most limited, and not all the others who are doing just

fine and therefore never having the need to seek out a psychiatric

evaluation.

> but it's just everything they told me all my life and the bullying and

> then the attack in 2001 and I can't seem to get the criticism out of my

> head!!! (((

That really sucks! Sometimes it's not a good thing to be so receptive and

have such good recall of certain impressions.

I just hope that you don't belive them? The only truly important thing is

that YOU know who you are, even if they don't. (I personally think that

anyone who bullies another person has got a serious problem and is so

obviously immature that their opinion is truly void.)

Inger

FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

acceptance. Everyone is valued.

Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the

folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

[Guest guest]

MaYa, You found the place to run to we all understand and most of us have been there at one time or another, come and vent maybe someone will have a suggestion or comment that might help make things easier. You always have a nice comfortable place to hide here, full of people that love you and accept you just for being you. Make sure you take some alone time to revitalize your self. Take care, BethmaYa <crna_kuna@...> wrote: I don't know where to run to ((I'm so sorry... I'm just desperate, don't know where to run to...it was like this, read about someone who was autistic, then 'cured herself because she was so strong' and now claims to be an example of success and the others write about

'overcoming autism' and how, now she is a succesful member of society, how that gives hope to parents of autistic children and so on... but it sounded like 'look, I am now like the normal ppl so I am good now!' plus she kept on saying how autistic ppl are developmentally lower than normal people it sounded like she hates autistic people more than that she cares about their wellbeing!! I retreat to PROTECT MYSELF that is LOVE for me... because society and people ARE MEAN TO ME!!!!! how can she choose their side???? ((...and ever since the attacks on me and this goddamn pressure on me all the time to be like normal people and to be succesful in society and how I'm worthless and whatever sucks about me as I am now and so on and so on.. I just CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS!! I've been screaming about her and about the poor animals and how they suffer and how this society sucks and brainwashes everyone and pushes me down and I am

completely nervous now and don't know what to do... can't get rid of this terrible feeling.. and I also stressed out our poor dog! but I can't find solace, nobody understands me!! And I feel SO ATTACKED AGAIN!! like everyone's against me!!where is LOVE???it's horrible!!!please.. when will this end? when will this end??ooooo... I feel so horrible!! like everyone is against me... and then I fear the future and the people and worst of all, this dreadful society!!! (((((((must find ppl like me... PROTECTION... a place where I am allowed to be LIKE ME not like them.... not always the hatred and pressure and everything... not having to be like them... where I can be me.... safe safe.... freeeeeeeeI feel sooo bad (((((((There's this song I like to share....The Crüxshadows Leave Me AloneLeave me alone- I'm a freak leave me alone- make it easy for yourself

everywhere I go they all stare I don't understand why they care they stare at me in all black and when I turn they stare at my back all these things can't, all these things don't-- let me go. Leave me alone- I'm a freak leave me alone- make it easy for yourself everywhere I go they all stare I don't understand why they care and I don't want to be a part of your world and I don't want to see the things you see can't you understand how I feel? can't you let me be? Please, leave me alone Please, leave me alone Please, leave me alone Please, leave me alone

[Guest guest]

Yeah society can and does suck - I think this society here (on these

boards) is different though.

I have had many attacks on how I am in RL, even including how much

time I spent on the computer - just recently I said to someone who

was having a go at me for my time I spent on the computer that 'I use

it to socialise and for information and research' - seemed to shut

them up.

I think a lot of people are misinformed about curing autism - there

is even talk in this country of normalising autistics - I personally

do not want to be normalised - I am happy to be me and if that

includes being AS then I am also happy to be that, for I believe it

is part of who I am anyway. If people want to take my AS away, then I

believe they are taking part of me away (or that is their intent).

As for being normal - if I look around at what is considered normal I

certainly don't want to be that!

" where is LOVE??? "

I actually believe there is a lot of love here and people who care.

I really do hope you feel better soon and I can relate to what you've

said - I have a lot of problems with this world. Please don't forget

these boards though - I hope you feel more understood and accepted

here - I cannot always express or find words to express my feelings

adequately enough - but I do care.

>

>

> I don't know where to run to ((

>

> I'm so sorry... I'm just desperate, don't know where to run to...

>

> it was like this, read about someone who was autistic, then 'cured

> herself because she was so strong' and now claims to be an example

of

> success and the others write about 'overcoming autism' and how, now

> she is a succesful member of society, how that gives hope to

parents

> of autistic children and so on... but it sounded like 'look, I am

now

> like the normal ppl so I am good now!' plus she kept on saying how

> autistic ppl are developmentally lower than normal people it

> sounded like she hates autistic people more than that she cares

about

> their wellbeing!! I retreat to PROTECT MYSELF that is LOVE for

me...

> because society and people ARE MEAN TO ME!!!!! how can she choose

> their side???? ((

> ...and ever since the attacks on me and this goddamn pressure on me

> all the time to be like normal people and to be succesful in

society

> and how I'm worthless and whatever sucks about me as I am now and

so

> on and so on.. I just CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS!! I've been screaming

> about her and about the poor animals and how they suffer and how

this

> society sucks and brainwashes everyone and pushes me down and I am

> completely nervous now and don't know what to do... can't get rid

of

> this terrible feeling.. and I also stressed out our poor dog! but I

> can't find solace, nobody understands me!! And I feel SO ATTACKED

> AGAIN!! like everyone's against me!!

>

> where is LOVE???

>

> it's horrible!!!

>

> please.. when will this end? when will this end??

>

> ooooo... I feel so horrible!!

>

> like everyone is against me... and then I fear the future and the

> people and worst of all, this dreadful society!!! (((((((

>

> must find ppl like me... PROTECTION... a place where I am allowed

to

> be LIKE ME not like them.... not always the hatred and pressure and

> everything... not having to be like them... where I can be me....

> safe safe.... freeeeeeee

>

> I feel sooo bad (((((((

>

> There's this song I like to share....

>

> The Crüxshadows

> Leave Me Alone

>

> Leave me alone- I'm a freak

> leave me alone- make it easy for yourself

> everywhere I go they all stare

> I don't understand why they care

> they stare at me in all black

> and when I turn they stare at my back

> all these things can't,

> all these things don't--

> let me go.

> Leave me alone- I'm a freak

> leave me alone- make it easy for yourself

> everywhere I go they all stare

> I don't understand why they care

> and I don't want to be a part of your world

> and I don't want to see the things you see

> can't you understand how I feel?

> can't you let me be?

>

> Please, leave me alone

> Please, leave me alone

> Please, leave me alone

> Please, leave me alone

>

[Guest guest]

Temple Grandin thinks she's cured? This worries me greatly as I know

it will have implications. How long has she thought she has been

cured?

I just know what is coming - 'if she is cured, why can't you get

cured?' etc - this worries me and I know that such things will come

about and are yet more attacks to defend agaisnt.

I believe a lot of people on the spectrum are made to feel wrong/bad

(whatever negative connotation non autistics chose to label us), even

some support groups (usually run by non autistics) have this view

(that is why I burned my bridges concerning the one I was involved

with).

This kind of attitude really p*sses me off and I have to fight

against it mostly for my son - he is not abnormal - he is fine and so

am I - and yet I am sick of people persisting in autism is an illness

a disease!!!!!!!! because of how many autistics are meant to feel the

majority of their life there will be some who despise their autistic

label, despite it being part of who they are - it is not the label

that is particularly wrong, just societies view/prejudice of the

label.

I think I may have ranted enough now.

>

> Inger:

> >> Who was the one who wrote that which upset you so? Temple

Grandin?

> >

> maYa:

> > yeah her... ((( (how did you guess?!?! wow)

>

> I'm psychic! ;-) (Actually, it just rung a bell and sounded

familiar.) We

> have an author like that here in Sweden who also considers herself

a 'cured'

> autistic, though she is still as much an Aspie as any of us.

>

> Sure, many of us can learn social skills, become less shy, get

better at

> comunicating and learn to get along fairly well with non-autistics

(as long

> as we follow THEIR rules and codes of conduct) but that doesn't

change our

> basic physical, neurological, emotional, mental or spiritual make-

up.

>

> > and someone else but don't know who....

>

> I suspect they may just be eager for acceptance by mainstream

society. Or

> they may truly think they are 'cured' just because they are able to

do

> things that autistics officially aren't 'supposed to be able to

do'. But

> that's because autism 'experts' have too low an appreciation for

people on

> the spectrum, which in turn is probably due to the fact that they

mainly see

> those who are the most limited, and not all the others who are

doing just

> fine and therefore never having the need to seek out a psychiatric

> evaluation.

>

> > but it's just everything they told me all my life and the

bullying and

> > then the attack in 2001 and I can't seem to get the criticism out

of my

> > head!!! (((

>

> That really sucks! Sometimes it's not a good thing to be so

receptive and

> have such good recall of certain impressions.

>

> I just hope that you don't belive them? The only truly important

thing is

> that YOU know who you are, even if they don't. (I personally think

that

> anyone who bullies another person has got a serious problem and is

so

> obviously immature that their opinion is truly void.)

>

> Inger

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support and

> acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page

in the

> folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

[Guest guest]

Hi maYa,

You don't need to be sorry about coming here to unload. This place

is one where you can come in any time you please and say hello, pal

around, talk serious, unwind, and unload.

Regarding what you have written below...

No one can deny that Temple Grandin has made some great strides for

autistics by showing what we can accomplish when we put our minds to

it, but in post 17817 on this board you'll see an article showing

just one of the ways that autustics are structurally different from

non-autistics. So for her to say that she is now " cured " is

misleading.

She may be changed, but physically, she is as autistic as the rest

of us.

One has to ask if her being " cured " is a good thing or just an

indicator that she has succombed to society's pressure to conform.

To exist in the non-autistic world, it is necessary to fall into

line and maintain certain social norms and adhere to certain social

rules.

What she has proven is that she has the ability to march with the

non-autistics, nothing more.

My opinion is that a truly confident, self-actualized, happy person

doesn't need to change for anyone else or won't feel the need to be

the way someone else " requires " them to be.

I think you are put off by Ms. Grandin because she has gained status

in the world and " turned " on you by making you feel bad about who

you are.

You need not feel bad about who you are. You are much more level-

headed than she is in regards to your identity.

Regardless of what she believes, you can not change your physical

construct. You can only change behaviors. The fact that she

considers herself " cured " only means that she had been " trained. "

She is still autistic. Never doubt it.

And never doubt that there is nothing wrong with autism. We have

many gifts that are exclusive to us. These gifts, I belive, were God-

given to compensate us for our shortcomings. We should use these

gifts to the best of our abilities and not fritter them away in a

vain effort to try to be people we weren't made to be.

Tom

Administrator

I don't know where to run to ((

I'm so sorry... I'm just desperate, don't know where to run to...

it was like this, read about someone who was autistic, then 'cured

herself because she was so strong' and now claims to be an example of

success and the others write about 'overcoming autism' and how, now

she is a succesful member of society, how that gives hope to parents

of autistic children and so on... but it sounded like 'look, I am now

like the normal ppl so I am good now!' plus she kept on saying how

autistic ppl are developmentally lower than normal people it

sounded like she hates autistic people more than that she cares about

their wellbeing!! I retreat to PROTECT MYSELF that is LOVE for me...

because society and people ARE MEAN TO ME!!!!! how can she choose

their side???? ((

....and ever since the attacks on me and this goddamn pressure on me

all the time to be like normal people and to be succesful in society

and how I'm worthless and whatever sucks about me as I am now and so

on and so on.. I just CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS!! I've been screaming

about her and about the poor animals and how they suffer and how this

society sucks and brainwashes everyone and pushes me down and I am

completely nervous now and don't know what to do... can't get rid of

this terrible feeling.. and I also stressed out our poor dog! but I

can't find solace, nobody understands me!! And I feel SO ATTACKED

AGAIN!! like everyone's against me!!

where is LOVE???

it's horrible!!!

please.. when will this end? when will this end??

ooooo... I feel so horrible!!

like everyone is against me... and then I fear the future and the

people and worst of all, this dreadful society!!! (((((((

must find ppl like me... PROTECTION... a place where I am allowed to

be LIKE ME not like them.... not always the hatred and pressure and

everything... not having to be like them... where I can be me....

safe safe.... freeeeeeee

I feel sooo bad (((((((

[Guest guest]

Hi maYa,

You don't need to be sorry about coming here to unload. This place

is one where you can come in any time you please and say hello, pal

around, talk serious, unwind, and unload.

Regarding what you have written below...

No one can deny that Temple Grandin has made some great strides for

autistics by showing what we can accomplish when we put our minds to

it, but in post 17817 on this board you'll see an article showing

just one of the ways that autustics are structurally different from

non-autistics. So for her to say that she is now " cured " is

misleading.

She may be changed, but physically, she is as autistic as the rest

of us.

One has to ask if her being " cured " is a good thing or just an

indicator that she has succombed to society's pressure to conform.

To exist in the non-autistic world, it is necessary to fall into

line and maintain certain social norms and adhere to certain social

rules.

What she has proven is that she has the ability to march with the

non-autistics, nothing more.

My opinion is that a truly confident, self-actualized, happy person

doesn't need to change for anyone else or won't feel the need to be

the way someone else " requires " them to be.

I think you are put off by Ms. Grandin because she has gained status

in the world and " turned " on you by making you feel bad about who

you are.

You need not feel bad about who you are. You are much more level-

headed than she is in regards to your identity.

Regardless of what she believes, you can not change your physical

construct. You can only change behaviors. The fact that she

considers herself " cured " only means that she had been " trained. "

She is still autistic. Never doubt it.

And never doubt that there is nothing wrong with autism. We have

many gifts that are exclusive to us. These gifts, I belive, were God-

given to compensate us for our shortcomings. We should use these

gifts to the best of our abilities and not fritter them away in a

vain effort to try to be people we weren't made to be.

Tom

Administrator

I don't know where to run to ((

I'm so sorry... I'm just desperate, don't know where to run to...

it was like this, read about someone who was autistic, then 'cured

herself because she was so strong' and now claims to be an example of

success and the others write about 'overcoming autism' and how, now

she is a succesful member of society, how that gives hope to parents

of autistic children and so on... but it sounded like 'look, I am now

like the normal ppl so I am good now!' plus she kept on saying how

autistic ppl are developmentally lower than normal people it

sounded like she hates autistic people more than that she cares about

their wellbeing!! I retreat to PROTECT MYSELF that is LOVE for me...

because society and people ARE MEAN TO ME!!!!! how can she choose

their side???? ((

....and ever since the attacks on me and this goddamn pressure on me

all the time to be like normal people and to be succesful in society

and how I'm worthless and whatever sucks about me as I am now and so

on and so on.. I just CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS!! I've been screaming

about her and about the poor animals and how they suffer and how this

society sucks and brainwashes everyone and pushes me down and I am

completely nervous now and don't know what to do... can't get rid of

this terrible feeling.. and I also stressed out our poor dog! but I

can't find solace, nobody understands me!! And I feel SO ATTACKED

AGAIN!! like everyone's against me!!

where is LOVE???

it's horrible!!!

please.. when will this end? when will this end??

ooooo... I feel so horrible!!

like everyone is against me... and then I fear the future and the

people and worst of all, this dreadful society!!! (((((((

must find ppl like me... PROTECTION... a place where I am allowed to

be LIKE ME not like them.... not always the hatred and pressure and

everything... not having to be like them... where I can be me....

safe safe.... freeeeeeee

I feel sooo bad (((((((

[Guest guest]

> Sure, many of us can learn social skills, become less shy, get

better at

> comunicating and learn to get along fairly well with non-autistics

(as long

> as we follow THEIR rules and codes of conduct) but that doesn't

change our

> basic physical, neurological, emotional, mental or spiritual make-

up.

>

exactly tnx maybe I'll one day share more about my views and

stuff (I always fear people will say I am way off reality hehe) but I

agree and I also believe that humans overestimate themselves too

much, I wonder if they at all understand the concept of being part of

something far bigger than just the human race? All of nature is

beautiful in its own way, the diversity is its beauty. They steal and

deny the value of everything not-human or not-useful-enough-for-

humans. I just can't see why human beings consider themselves so

perfect or better than everyone and everything else....

:x

> I suspect they may just be eager for acceptance by mainstream

society.

yeah, even worse, they want to really prove themselves, not just fit

in, but even be admired so to say. Everyone wants to be accepted..

loved..(it hurts to always either have to hide or not be

accepted/criticized). but.... not by mainstream society... I wish

this society would be different (I hate its ways, its methods

anyway), but I wish my surrounding would welcome me, love me, AS I AM

and also treat others fairly, not hurt so many, destroy so much...

The other thing, this becoming normal, is false. It's like numbing

yourself inside.. your feeling, desire, will.. What they do is like

breaking the will of an elephant, making it do tricks in a circus,

things they want the elephant to do, and than clapping for its anti-

natural behaviour, cause they think it's cool an elephant can do

that. But it hurts, to have to always be something you're not. Never

to able to act as you would by your own nature. It hurts to have your

mind broken like that. To be beaten into obedience like that. No

approval or admiration or clapping or cheering or laughing or food or

gifts or pleasing your parents can ever ever make it right nor ever

ever compensate the loss of freedom and dignity of your own true self

and soul, your own path, your own destiny, your own wishes, your own

life (not the one they give you)... it's not you being accepted.

> That really sucks! Sometimes it's not a good thing to be so

receptive and

> have such good recall of certain impressions.

>

euw say that again! =) but it's the entire circumstance in which it

happened. It's not one thing, it's a string of things, each word

hooking into another, each rejection into another.. too little

positive experience to compensate I guess..

> I just hope that you don't belive them? The only truly important

thing is

> that YOU know who you are, even if they don't. (I personally think

that

> anyone who bullies another person has got a serious problem and is

so

> obviously immature that their opinion is truly void.)

they'd do more mean things, like clap hands in front of my face to

make me close my eyes and force other reactions out of me and

frighten me with a lighter in front of my face and throw things at

me, or hit me from behind all of a sudden with this balloon-stick and

once some threw bread in my face, and pieces of paper, and put me

stuck between a wall and a door, and some stole things from me,

anything to provoke reaction, and they'd always choose me last when

we had to form groups, they'd always bargain who has to 'have me'

like a curse. You just feel soooo unwanted, hated, despised.. because

of everything they do to you. It's not the specific judgment they

give (they told me I smell bad, my hair was never right, my clothes

were wrong etc etc) just that society has all the answers: o, you're

shy, you're a misfit, a loser, you're dumb, childish, a problem

child, oversensitive, a coward, a typical bully-victim, you provoke

it, you behave wrongly, you're mad, you're weak, you're stupid etc

etc etc

There was a time I believed that yes, they broke my mind, they

said 'you're unhappy because of the way you are, you have to become

like us then you will be happy' (this didn't work for me!). That's

why my hair raises up like a wild beaten animal each time someone

even mentions 'getting me out of my world into theirs' or 'curing me

from autism'.....

I just can't hear that anymore!!!!

[Guest guest]

> Sure, many of us can learn social skills, become less shy, get

better at

> comunicating and learn to get along fairly well with non-autistics

(as long

> as we follow THEIR rules and codes of conduct) but that doesn't

change our

> basic physical, neurological, emotional, mental or spiritual make-

up.

>

exactly tnx maybe I'll one day share more about my views and

stuff (I always fear people will say I am way off reality hehe) but I

agree and I also believe that humans overestimate themselves too

much, I wonder if they at all understand the concept of being part of

something far bigger than just the human race? All of nature is

beautiful in its own way, the diversity is its beauty. They steal and

deny the value of everything not-human or not-useful-enough-for-

humans. I just can't see why human beings consider themselves so

perfect or better than everyone and everything else....

:x

> I suspect they may just be eager for acceptance by mainstream

society.

yeah, even worse, they want to really prove themselves, not just fit

in, but even be admired so to say. Everyone wants to be accepted..

loved..(it hurts to always either have to hide or not be

accepted/criticized). but.... not by mainstream society... I wish

this society would be different (I hate its ways, its methods

anyway), but I wish my surrounding would welcome me, love me, AS I AM

and also treat others fairly, not hurt so many, destroy so much...

The other thing, this becoming normal, is false. It's like numbing

yourself inside.. your feeling, desire, will.. What they do is like

breaking the will of an elephant, making it do tricks in a circus,

things they want the elephant to do, and than clapping for its anti-

natural behaviour, cause they think it's cool an elephant can do

that. But it hurts, to have to always be something you're not. Never

to able to act as you would by your own nature. It hurts to have your

mind broken like that. To be beaten into obedience like that. No

approval or admiration or clapping or cheering or laughing or food or

gifts or pleasing your parents can ever ever make it right nor ever

ever compensate the loss of freedom and dignity of your own true self

and soul, your own path, your own destiny, your own wishes, your own

life (not the one they give you)... it's not you being accepted.

> That really sucks! Sometimes it's not a good thing to be so

receptive and

> have such good recall of certain impressions.

>

euw say that again! =) but it's the entire circumstance in which it

happened. It's not one thing, it's a string of things, each word

hooking into another, each rejection into another.. too little

positive experience to compensate I guess..

> I just hope that you don't belive them? The only truly important

thing is

> that YOU know who you are, even if they don't. (I personally think

that

> anyone who bullies another person has got a serious problem and is

so

> obviously immature that their opinion is truly void.)

they'd do more mean things, like clap hands in front of my face to

make me close my eyes and force other reactions out of me and

frighten me with a lighter in front of my face and throw things at

me, or hit me from behind all of a sudden with this balloon-stick and

once some threw bread in my face, and pieces of paper, and put me

stuck between a wall and a door, and some stole things from me,

anything to provoke reaction, and they'd always choose me last when

we had to form groups, they'd always bargain who has to 'have me'

like a curse. You just feel soooo unwanted, hated, despised.. because

of everything they do to you. It's not the specific judgment they

give (they told me I smell bad, my hair was never right, my clothes

were wrong etc etc) just that society has all the answers: o, you're

shy, you're a misfit, a loser, you're dumb, childish, a problem

child, oversensitive, a coward, a typical bully-victim, you provoke

it, you behave wrongly, you're mad, you're weak, you're stupid etc

etc etc

There was a time I believed that yes, they broke my mind, they

said 'you're unhappy because of the way you are, you have to become

like us then you will be happy' (this didn't work for me!). That's

why my hair raises up like a wild beaten animal each time someone

even mentions 'getting me out of my world into theirs' or 'curing me

from autism'.....

I just can't hear that anymore!!!!

[Guest guest]

*thumb up*

thanks, yes! I'm fighting on your side!! At least we're not alone.

That feels hopeful many loving greetings to your son!

maYa

> I just know what is coming - 'if she is cured, why can't you get

> cured?' etc - this worries me and I know that such things will come

> about and are yet more attacks to defend agaisnt.

>

> This kind of attitude really p*sses me off and I have to fight

> against it mostly for my son - he is not abnormal - he is fine and

so

> am I - and yet I am sick of people persisting in autism is an

illness

> a disease!!!!!!!!

because of how many autistics are meant to feel the

> majority of their life there will be some who despise their

autistic

> label, despite it being part of who they are -

[Guest guest]

*thumb up*

thanks, yes! I'm fighting on your side!! At least we're not alone.

That feels hopeful many loving greetings to your son!

maYa

> I just know what is coming - 'if she is cured, why can't you get

> cured?' etc - this worries me and I know that such things will come

> about and are yet more attacks to defend agaisnt.

>

> This kind of attitude really p*sses me off and I have to fight

> against it mostly for my son - he is not abnormal - he is fine and

so

> am I - and yet I am sick of people persisting in autism is an

illness

> a disease!!!!!!!!

because of how many autistics are meant to feel the

> majority of their life there will be some who despise their

autistic

> label, despite it being part of who they are -

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry you're upset. It seems almost like that 'witch trial' way

of thinking--the townspeople crying 'witch' on some, trying to find a

scapegoat for problems and make themselves look holy by comparison.

If they call autistics messed up then by comparison the non-autistics

normal? And doesn't it keep people from looking at themselves? Maybe

they're afraid of what autistics are showing them about themselves.

Even if they think we're messed up they can't close their eyes to the

traits we have that are good and even better than some of the non-

autistic traits.

-- In , " maYa " <crna_kuna@y...> wrote:

>

>

> > Sure, many of us can learn social skills, become less shy, get

> better at

> > comunicating and learn to get along fairly well with non-

autistics

> (as long

> > as we follow THEIR rules and codes of conduct) but that doesn't

> change our

> > basic physical, neurological, emotional, mental or spiritual make-

> up.

> >

>

> exactly tnx maybe I'll one day share more about my views and

> stuff (I always fear people will say I am way off reality hehe) but

I

> agree and I also believe that humans overestimate themselves too

> much, I wonder if they at all understand the concept of being part

of

> something far bigger than just the human race? All of nature is

> beautiful in its own way, the diversity is its beauty. They steal

and

> deny the value of everything not-human or not-useful-enough-for-

> humans. I just can't see why human beings consider themselves so

> perfect or better than everyone and everything else....

>

> :x

>

>

> > I suspect they may just be eager for acceptance by mainstream

> society.

>

> yeah, even worse, they want to really prove themselves, not just

fit

> in, but even be admired so to say. Everyone wants to be accepted..

> loved..(it hurts to always either have to hide or not be

> accepted/criticized). but.... not by mainstream society... I wish

> this society would be different (I hate its ways, its methods

> anyway), but I wish my surrounding would welcome me, love me, AS I

AM

> and also treat others fairly, not hurt so many, destroy so much...

> The other thing, this becoming normal, is false. It's like numbing

> yourself inside.. your feeling, desire, will.. What they do is like

> breaking the will of an elephant, making it do tricks in a circus,

> things they want the elephant to do, and than clapping for its anti-

> natural behaviour, cause they think it's cool an elephant can do

> that. But it hurts, to have to always be something you're not.

Never

> to able to act as you would by your own nature. It hurts to have

your

> mind broken like that. To be beaten into obedience like that. No

> approval or admiration or clapping or cheering or laughing or food

or

> gifts or pleasing your parents can ever ever make it right nor ever

> ever compensate the loss of freedom and dignity of your own true

self

> and soul, your own path, your own destiny, your own wishes, your

own

> life (not the one they give you)... it's not you being accepted.

>

>

> > That really sucks! Sometimes it's not a good thing to be so

> receptive and

> > have such good recall of certain impressions.

> >

>

> euw say that again! =) but it's the entire circumstance in which it

> happened. It's not one thing, it's a string of things, each word

> hooking into another, each rejection into another.. too little

> positive experience to compensate I guess..

>

> > I just hope that you don't belive them? The only truly important

> thing is

> > that YOU know who you are, even if they don't. (I personally

think

> that

> > anyone who bullies another person has got a serious problem and

is

> so

> > obviously immature that their opinion is truly void.)

>

> they'd do more mean things, like clap hands in front of my face to

> make me close my eyes and force other reactions out of me and

> frighten me with a lighter in front of my face and throw things at

> me, or hit me from behind all of a sudden with this balloon-stick

and

> once some threw bread in my face, and pieces of paper, and put me

> stuck between a wall and a door, and some stole things from me,

> anything to provoke reaction, and they'd always choose me last when

> we had to form groups, they'd always bargain who has to 'have me'

> like a curse. You just feel soooo unwanted, hated, despised..

because

> of everything they do to you. It's not the specific judgment they

> give (they told me I smell bad, my hair was never right, my clothes

> were wrong etc etc) just that society has all the answers: o,

you're

> shy, you're a misfit, a loser, you're dumb, childish, a problem

> child, oversensitive, a coward, a typical bully-victim, you provoke

> it, you behave wrongly, you're mad, you're weak, you're stupid etc

> etc etc

>

> There was a time I believed that yes, they broke my mind, they

> said 'you're unhappy because of the way you are, you have to become

> like us then you will be happy' (this didn't work for me!). That's

> why my hair raises up like a wild beaten animal each time someone

> even mentions 'getting me out of my world into theirs' or 'curing

me

> from autism'.....

>

> I just can't hear that anymore!!!!

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry you're upset. It seems almost like that 'witch trial' way

of thinking--the townspeople crying 'witch' on some, trying to find a

scapegoat for problems and make themselves look holy by comparison.

If they call autistics messed up then by comparison the non-autistics

normal? And doesn't it keep people from looking at themselves? Maybe

they're afraid of what autistics are showing them about themselves.

Even if they think we're messed up they can't close their eyes to the

traits we have that are good and even better than some of the non-

autistic traits.

-- In , " maYa " <crna_kuna@y...> wrote:

>

>

> > Sure, many of us can learn social skills, become less shy, get

> better at

> > comunicating and learn to get along fairly well with non-

autistics

> (as long

> > as we follow THEIR rules and codes of conduct) but that doesn't

> change our

> > basic physical, neurological, emotional, mental or spiritual make-

> up.

> >

>

> exactly tnx maybe I'll one day share more about my views and

> stuff (I always fear people will say I am way off reality hehe) but

I

> agree and I also believe that humans overestimate themselves too

> much, I wonder if they at all understand the concept of being part

of

> something far bigger than just the human race? All of nature is

> beautiful in its own way, the diversity is its beauty. They steal

and

> deny the value of everything not-human or not-useful-enough-for-

> humans. I just can't see why human beings consider themselves so

> perfect or better than everyone and everything else....

>

> :x

>

>

> > I suspect they may just be eager for acceptance by mainstream

> society.

>

> yeah, even worse, they want to really prove themselves, not just

fit

> in, but even be admired so to say. Everyone wants to be accepted..

> loved..(it hurts to always either have to hide or not be

> accepted/criticized). but.... not by mainstream society... I wish

> this society would be different (I hate its ways, its methods

> anyway), but I wish my surrounding would welcome me, love me, AS I

AM

> and also treat others fairly, not hurt so many, destroy so much...

> The other thing, this becoming normal, is false. It's like numbing

> yourself inside.. your feeling, desire, will.. What they do is like

> breaking the will of an elephant, making it do tricks in a circus,

> things they want the elephant to do, and than clapping for its anti-

> natural behaviour, cause they think it's cool an elephant can do

> that. But it hurts, to have to always be something you're not.

Never

> to able to act as you would by your own nature. It hurts to have

your

> mind broken like that. To be beaten into obedience like that. No

> approval or admiration or clapping or cheering or laughing or food

or

> gifts or pleasing your parents can ever ever make it right nor ever

> ever compensate the loss of freedom and dignity of your own true

self

> and soul, your own path, your own destiny, your own wishes, your

own

> life (not the one they give you)... it's not you being accepted.

>

>

> > That really sucks! Sometimes it's not a good thing to be so

> receptive and

> > have such good recall of certain impressions.

> >

>

> euw say that again! =) but it's the entire circumstance in which it

> happened. It's not one thing, it's a string of things, each word

> hooking into another, each rejection into another.. too little

> positive experience to compensate I guess..

>

> > I just hope that you don't belive them? The only truly important

> thing is

> > that YOU know who you are, even if they don't. (I personally

think

> that

> > anyone who bullies another person has got a serious problem and

is

> so

> > obviously immature that their opinion is truly void.)

>

> they'd do more mean things, like clap hands in front of my face to

> make me close my eyes and force other reactions out of me and

> frighten me with a lighter in front of my face and throw things at

> me, or hit me from behind all of a sudden with this balloon-stick

and

> once some threw bread in my face, and pieces of paper, and put me

> stuck between a wall and a door, and some stole things from me,

> anything to provoke reaction, and they'd always choose me last when

> we had to form groups, they'd always bargain who has to 'have me'

> like a curse. You just feel soooo unwanted, hated, despised..

because

> of everything they do to you. It's not the specific judgment they

> give (they told me I smell bad, my hair was never right, my clothes

> were wrong etc etc) just that society has all the answers: o,

you're

> shy, you're a misfit, a loser, you're dumb, childish, a problem

> child, oversensitive, a coward, a typical bully-victim, you provoke

> it, you behave wrongly, you're mad, you're weak, you're stupid etc

> etc etc

>

> There was a time I believed that yes, they broke my mind, they

> said 'you're unhappy because of the way you are, you have to become

> like us then you will be happy' (this didn't work for me!). That's

> why my hair raises up like a wild beaten animal each time someone

> even mentions 'getting me out of my world into theirs' or 'curing

me

> from autism'.....

>

> I just can't hear that anymore!!!!

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Inger, for inadvertantly addressing a subject I've been

wondering about: when parents say their children are cured. I also

don't think that an adult can change their brain to a point that

would be non-autistic or non-aspergers. The brain may be a physical

thing, but the mind is a state of being. Just like I don't think that

book, 'Flowers for Algernon' is correct when the guy goes from

retarded to super-intelligent and back to retarded because once

you've been intelligent you still have the memory and idea of it--

it's a pathway that was made. You are different, changed. I witnessed

this in a very intelligent woman who had brain damage when she was

kicked in the head by a horse. Her brain wouldn't work like she

wanted it to, but she knew how she wanted it to. Her frustration and

anger was intense. It was painful to see and makes me realize I don't

want to lose the way my brain thinks because I'll still KNOW.

>

> Inger:

> >> Who was the one who wrote that which upset you so? Temple

Grandin?

> >

> maYa:

> > yeah her... ((( (how did you guess?!?! wow)

>

> I'm psychic! ;-) (Actually, it just rung a bell and sounded

familiar.) We

> have an author like that here in Sweden who also considers herself

a 'cured'

> autistic, though she is still as much an Aspie as any of us.

>

> Sure, many of us can learn social skills, become less shy, get

better at

> comunicating and learn to get along fairly well with non-autistics

(as long

> as we follow THEIR rules and codes of conduct) but that doesn't

change our

> basic physical, neurological, emotional, mental or spiritual make-

up.

>

> > and someone else but don't know who....

>

> I suspect they may just be eager for acceptance by mainstream

society. Or

> they may truly think they are 'cured' just because they are able to

do

> things that autistics officially aren't 'supposed to be able to

do'. But

> that's because autism 'experts' have too low an appreciation for

people on

> the spectrum, which in turn is probably due to the fact that they

mainly see

> those who are the most limited, and not all the others who are

doing just

> fine and therefore never having the need to seek out a psychiatric

> evaluation.

>

> > but it's just everything they told me all my life and the

bullying and

> > then the attack in 2001 and I can't seem to get the criticism out

of my

> > head!!! (((

>

> That really sucks! Sometimes it's not a good thing to be so

receptive and

> have such good recall of certain impressions.

>

> I just hope that you don't belive them? The only truly important

thing is

> that YOU know who you are, even if they don't. (I personally think

that

> anyone who bullies another person has got a serious problem and is

so

> obviously immature that their opinion is truly void.)

>

> Inger

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support and

> acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page

in the

> folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Inger, for inadvertantly addressing a subject I've been

wondering about: when parents say their children are cured. I also

don't think that an adult can change their brain to a point that

would be non-autistic or non-aspergers. The brain may be a physical

thing, but the mind is a state of being. Just like I don't think that

book, 'Flowers for Algernon' is correct when the guy goes from

retarded to super-intelligent and back to retarded because once

you've been intelligent you still have the memory and idea of it--

it's a pathway that was made. You are different, changed. I witnessed

this in a very intelligent woman who had brain damage when she was

kicked in the head by a horse. Her brain wouldn't work like she

wanted it to, but she knew how she wanted it to. Her frustration and

anger was intense. It was painful to see and makes me realize I don't

want to lose the way my brain thinks because I'll still KNOW.

>

> Inger:

> >> Who was the one who wrote that which upset you so? Temple

Grandin?

> >

> maYa:

> > yeah her... ((( (how did you guess?!?! wow)

>

> I'm psychic! ;-) (Actually, it just rung a bell and sounded

familiar.) We

> have an author like that here in Sweden who also considers herself

a 'cured'

> autistic, though she is still as much an Aspie as any of us.

>

> Sure, many of us can learn social skills, become less shy, get

better at

> comunicating and learn to get along fairly well with non-autistics

(as long

> as we follow THEIR rules and codes of conduct) but that doesn't

change our

> basic physical, neurological, emotional, mental or spiritual make-

up.

>

> > and someone else but don't know who....

>

> I suspect they may just be eager for acceptance by mainstream

society. Or

> they may truly think they are 'cured' just because they are able to

do

> things that autistics officially aren't 'supposed to be able to

do'. But

> that's because autism 'experts' have too low an appreciation for

people on

> the spectrum, which in turn is probably due to the fact that they

mainly see

> those who are the most limited, and not all the others who are

doing just

> fine and therefore never having the need to seek out a psychiatric

> evaluation.

>

> > but it's just everything they told me all my life and the

bullying and

> > then the attack in 2001 and I can't seem to get the criticism out

of my

> > head!!! (((

>

> That really sucks! Sometimes it's not a good thing to be so

receptive and

> have such good recall of certain impressions.

>

> I just hope that you don't belive them? The only truly important

thing is

> that YOU know who you are, even if they don't. (I personally think

that

> anyone who bullies another person has got a serious problem and is

so

> obviously immature that their opinion is truly void.)

>

> Inger

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support and

> acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page

in the

> folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

[Guest guest]

Inger:

>> I suspect they may just be eager for acceptance by mainstream

society.

maYa:

> yeah, even worse, they want to really prove themselves, not just fit

in, but even be admired so to say. Everyone wants to be accepted..

loved.. (it hurts to always either have to hide or not be

accepted/criticized). but.... not by mainstream society...

Right. I couldn't care less about what mainstream society thinks of me.

> I wish this society would be different (I hate its ways, its methods

anyway), but I wish my surrounding would welcome me, love me,

AS I AM and also treat others fairly, not hurt so many, destroy so much...

That's what I wish too.

> The other thing, this becoming normal, is false. It's like numbing

yourself inside.. your feeling, desire, will.. What they do is like

breaking the will of an elephant, making it do tricks in a circus,

things they want the elephant to do, and than clapping for its anti-

natural behaviour, cause they think it's cool an elephant can do

that. But it hurts, to have to always be something you're not. Never

to able to act as you would by your own nature. It hurts to have your

mind broken like that. To be beaten into obedience like that. No

approval or admiration or clapping or cheering or laughing or food or

gifts or pleasing your parents can ever ever make it right nor ever

ever compensate the loss of freedom and dignity of your own true self

and soul, your own path, your own destiny, your own wishes, your own

life (not the one they give you)... it's not you being accepted.

Very good example. Odd that I've always felt sorry for animals in that

situation and absolutely detest circuses. Last time I saw anything like it

was a dolphin show at the local zoo a couple of years ago. Even though I'm

sure they treat the dophins really well and make training into a fun game

for them, I was still struck by sadness at seeing these magnicifent

creatures used for a Las Vegas-type spectacle like this was. I kept thinking

that they must think us humans truly stupid for sitting there gaping and

'flapping our fins' over them just doing simple little tricks for our

amusement.

>> That really sucks! Sometimes it's not a good thing to be so

receptive and have such good recall of certain impressions.

> euw say that again! =) but it's the entire circumstance in which it

happened. It's not one thing, it's a string of things, each word

hooking into another, each rejection into another.. too little

positive experience to compensate I guess..

That's very sad. You seem like a very nice person who don't at all deserve

to be treated badly.

> they'd do more mean things, like clap hands in front of my face to

make me close my eyes and force other reactions out of me and

frighten me with a lighter in front of my face and throw things at

me, or hit me from behind all of a sudden with this balloon-stick and

once some threw bread in my face, and pieces of paper, and put me

stuck between a wall and a door, and some stole things from me,

anything to provoke reaction,

How barbaric! They did some stuff to me too, but somehow I didn't really

care. Instead I went out of my way to annoy them back.

> and they'd always choose me last when we had to form groups, they'd always

> bargain who has to 'have me'

like a curse.

Me too, but it didn't occur to me to take it personally. In gym class I knew

I really sucked, so that they chose me last was only as it should be.

> You just feel soooo unwanted, hated, despised.. because

of everything they do to you. It's not the specific judgment they

give (they told me I smell bad, my hair was never right, my clothes

were wrong etc etc) just that society has all the answers: o, you're

shy, you're a misfit, a loser, you're dumb, childish, a problem

child, oversensitive, a coward, a typical bully-victim, you provoke

it, you behave wrongly, you're mad, you're weak, you're stupid etc

etc etc

Right. This is the most bizarre thing of all; how they are able to twist

things around like that!

I just saw a rerun of some old Paradise Hotel episodes and this taught me a

lot about group dymanics. What totally amazed me was that first they bully

and ostracize this one girl for being different (a little introvert,

sensitive and much prettier than themselves) and then they blaim HER for

" being boring " and " not trying hard enough to fit in " ! Truly stunning! They

also had an Aspie there who was more intelligent than all of the others put

together (except for a bit of social cluelessness). Him they picked on for

his protruding ears, lack of tan and other physical deviations, just as if

they were still in kindergarted even though they were all between 20 and 30.

What I realized by this is that you're only OK if you are EXACTLY like them.

You're not allowed to look markedly different, but not to be prettier and

more physically perfect either. If you're a slow learner you will be

ridiculed for it, but if you're smarter and faster in the head you'll be

even more hated for that. Having higher morals is not acceptable either. If

the majority thinks something barbaric - such as bullying a defenceless

person or drinking & partying until you pass out - is the normal thing to

do, then those who don't go along with it will be bullied too and seen as

morally defective for " betraying " the group.

> There was a time I believed that yes, they broke my mind, they

said 'you're unhappy because of the way you are, you have to become

like us then you will be happy' (this didn't work for me!). That's

why my hair raises up like a wild beaten animal each time someone

even mentions 'getting me out of my world into theirs' or 'curing me

from autism'..... I just can't hear that anymore!!!!

That's very understandable!

I too will always assert my right to be myself and refuse to become like a

trained monkey to suit anybody else's requirements. I am as I am - take it

or leave it! I may still be willing to compromise in certain situations, but

not to the extent of negating my true self and basic needs. Of course, I

also want to grow and learn and develop, but not necessarily into the

direction of mainstream society. As I've said before; I'm here to change

things, not to adapt to customs which I consider substandard, illogical and

obsolete.

Inger

FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

acceptance. Everyone is valued.

Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the

folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

[Guest guest]

>You always have a nice comfortable place to hide here, full of

people that love you and accept you just for being you. Make sure

you take some alone time to revitalize your self.

>

> Take care,

>

> Beth

Thanks Beth and tnx for the good advice. I definitely did. And

will some more today!

ok, I hope I answered everyone now if not, I will thank you this

way for replying, I've read the posts, only started answering later,

so I might have skipped one or two, but all your words really helped

me a lot!! So thank you very much, all of you!!

I'm really hungry now... and after that I want to paint something.

That should help to really relax and get into contact with my centre

self again ))

cya!!

maYa

[Guest guest]

> I too will always assert my right to be myself and refuse to become

like a

> trained monkey to suit anybody else's requirements. I am as I am -

take it

> or leave it! I may still be willing to compromise in certain

situations, but

> not to the extent of negating my true self and basic needs. Of

course, I

> also want to grow and learn and develop, but not necessarily into

the

> direction of mainstream society. As I've said before; I'm here to

change

> things, not to adapt to customs which I consider substandard,

illogical and

> obsolete.

>

> Inger

aaah! that is so absolutely how I feel about it too! ))

(and now really must leave, but will be back! =))

[Guest guest]

>Inger: "Instead I went out of my way to annoy them back."There, you go, girl! LOL! Always my approach, also.>"I'm here to change things, not to adapt to customs which I consider substandard, illogical andobsolete."I'm with you!  Rainbow

[Guest guest]

>Inger: "Instead I went out of my way to annoy them back."There, you go, girl! LOL! Always my approach, also.>"I'm here to change things, not to adapt to customs which I consider substandard, illogical andobsolete."I'm with you!  Rainbow

[Guest guest]

-Speaking of scary music,my Maltese dog,Mac is TERRIFIED of the music

in the Walken(another Aspie?)movie " The Prophecy " ,but he

LOVES the Sam Pekinpah movie " Bring Me the Head of Alfredo

" lol. Kajira

-- In , " Inger Lorelei "

<inglori@s...> wrote:

>

> Kajira:

> -i happen to admire Temple Grandin. Her new book, " Animals in

Translation " ,

> is wonderful.

>

> Cool! I just bought that book yesterday! (With a gift certificate I

got for

> Christmas.) :-) Haven't started reading it yet.

>

> > i think she means she is " cured " of the unpleasant aspects, the

fears etc.

>

> I HOPE that's what she means.

>

> > i know i do not have the same fears and issues i had as a child,

either. i

> > actually enjoy some of the

> things that scared the crap out of me as a child lol (like horror

films. i

> started to LOVE them at about age 11, Before then, i could not be

on the

> same FLOOR of the house if someone was watching even a mildly scary

show.The

> music freaked me out). i think the brain changes as we age.

>

> Absolutely! I was terrified of horror films too when I was a kid. I

so wish

> I hadn't seen them! And I too started loving them when I was a

teen, but now

> I've turned more sensitive again and can't stand watching any. At

least not

> modern ones. Harmless old Dracula and enstein movies are only

cute.

>

> Inger

>