Re: 37-Year-Old Woman Marries Teen

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/15/2005 11:11:20 AM Eastern Standard Time, julie.stevenson16@... writes:

I do believe that some women use pregnancy to 'trap' a man (or in this case a boy) - not in all cases of course.

Sometimes the trap is theirs. I have a cousin that was up in her 30's and was getting desperate to have a child. Some of you might not like this, but let's just say that she didn't have a lot to offer and wasn't willing to do certain things (like loose about 200 pounds and get a little polish) to attract the kind of man she wanted. So, she settled for a lower-end blue collar type. He's a nice enough guy but I've had my suspicions about him. After all, my cousin was living in my late-grandmother's house on the river in Northern Virginia and it is out the country. He's a big hunting and fishing guy, so that was perfect for him.

Anyway, they got married. Boy let me tell you, that wedding was unbelievable. It was like old country gentry meets the Deliverance crew. (For those who don't know, Deliverance is a movie about some big city white water rafters getting hunted by West Virginia uber rednecks.) That crew was just, damn I wish I had picture, you just can't believe it. It was like the old show Hee Haw threw up it rejects in that church.

Well, let's just say she's had nothing but problems since. The man's son from a prior marriage moves in, he was young at the time, and he was dangerous. Not only did he threaten them regularly but he totalled 2 trucks that I know of. He's not there anymore, but he still visits a lot with his girlfriend and I'm amazed he's not in jail. The son my cousin had has physical problems that may go away with age, but he's down on the intelligence scale and can barely read. He's be a nice enough kid and would be a good blue collar guy, but my cousin spoiled him so rotten I can't stand to be around him.

Then of course the husband was injured on the job and was disabled, though how someone who can walk around and do most things is disabled I don't really understand. The jist of it is that he can't do manual labor anymore, which was pretty much all he could do. Now there they are with a big mortgage, my cousin looking for teaching work (after like 20 years of completing her degree) and all their medical problems, chief of which that they are all morbidly obese.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't take any pleasure in all of this but nor do I feel too much sympathy. We warned her about this man, but she wouldn't listen. She also was telling people that she owned the house, even though the title was between my mother and her brother. Its a sad situation really. My cousin, in spite of her faults, is at heart a good person and she could have done much better with just a little effort.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/15/2005 2:19:40 PM Eastern Standard Time, mikecarrie01@... writes:

I've also heard where there are quite a few women batterers and they use the male's inability to hit a woman and embarrassment to tell someone that they're being battered by a woman, to their advantage.

My father almost married one of those. She had moved in with him and she would hit him during arguments. It got to the point that she broke a plate over his head and when he reared back to hit her she dared him to do it because she'd call the police and have him in jail. I've also overheard a few women talking about how they can treat their boyfriends like trash and know they can get away with it because if they hit back they can call the police.

There's another factor here as well. Most men would not want to admit they get beaten up by their wives or girlfriends. It would be embarassing for them to have to call the police to get her taken away because it might make them seem like less of a man. Really though if you look at the statistics, abuse is just about even across the boards.

I think this is where things have gotten too far out of balance. In my opinion, if you are willing to hit someone else, you should be willing to get hit back. By the same token if someone hits you, you should have every right to hit back. The fault should lie with either the one who threw the first blow or with the one who aggitated until they were struck. Granted that second bit would make things murky, but it is better than the current system.

It would also help to rework the mindset of the people that keep going back to the abusers. Both men and women keep going back into abusive relationship and often even refuse to press charges. If people would just walk away from such a person and not go back things would be better. Likewise if we could tag repeat offenders like we do sex offenders, then people could know what they are getting into with these people. Some of them can play a really smooth game and draw people in until it is too late for them to get out.

[Guest guest]

I do believe that some women use pregnancy to 'trap' a man (or in

this case a boy) - not in all cases of course.

It is a stupid ploy to use, as I have known women who have thought

that having a man's child could save the relationship - silly idea -

I always think if he doesn't want to be with you for you, what is the

point in bringing a child into it - unfair for the child too. In one

case I know about the guy left the woman anyway and she was left with

two of his kids - so it secures nothing really.

>

>

http://news./s/ap/20051114/ap_on_re_us/molestation_charge;_y

> lt=AvI7qjjbVJ2T720uDf_ZeOus0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3MjBwMWtkBHNlYwM3MTg-

>

> 19 minutes ago

>

> GAINESVILLE, Ga. - A Gainesville woman has been charged with child

> molestation after being accused of having a sexual relationship

with

> a 15-year-old boy.

>

> 19 minutes ago

>

> Members of the boy's family said 37-year-old Lynnette is

> pregnant with the boy's child and that they were married Tuesday in

> Dawson County. Judy Hayles, the boy's grandmother, said she

received

> a notice of the marriage from Dawson County because she is the

boy's

> guardian.

>

> was arrested Wednesday and brought to the Hall County

> Detention Center.

>

> Hayles said the relationship had been going on for nearly two

years.

> She said her grandson and 's teenage son had been close

friends

> and that he spent many weekends at 's home.

>

> Now Hayles said she is working to end the marriage.

>

> " This marriage is going to be terminated, " she said.

>

> Georgia law provides an exemption to age requirements for marriage

> when the female applicant is pregnant.

>

> Information from: The Times, http://www.gainesvilletimes.com

>

[Guest guest]

I do believe that some women use pregnancy to 'trap' a man (or in

this case a boy) - not in all cases of course.

It is a stupid ploy to use, as I have known women who have thought

that having a man's child could save the relationship - silly idea -

I always think if he doesn't want to be with you for you, what is the

point in bringing a child into it - unfair for the child too. In one

case I know about the guy left the woman anyway and she was left with

two of his kids - so it secures nothing really.

>

>

http://news./s/ap/20051114/ap_on_re_us/molestation_charge;_y

> lt=AvI7qjjbVJ2T720uDf_ZeOus0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3MjBwMWtkBHNlYwM3MTg-

>

> 19 minutes ago

>

> GAINESVILLE, Ga. - A Gainesville woman has been charged with child

> molestation after being accused of having a sexual relationship

with

> a 15-year-old boy.

>

> 19 minutes ago

>

> Members of the boy's family said 37-year-old Lynnette is

> pregnant with the boy's child and that they were married Tuesday in

> Dawson County. Judy Hayles, the boy's grandmother, said she

received

> a notice of the marriage from Dawson County because she is the

boy's

> guardian.

>

> was arrested Wednesday and brought to the Hall County

> Detention Center.

>

> Hayles said the relationship had been going on for nearly two

years.

> She said her grandson and 's teenage son had been close

friends

> and that he spent many weekends at 's home.

>

> Now Hayles said she is working to end the marriage.

>

> " This marriage is going to be terminated, " she said.

>

> Georgia law provides an exemption to age requirements for marriage

> when the female applicant is pregnant.

>

> Information from: The Times, http://www.gainesvilletimes.com

>

[Guest guest]

" I have a cousin that was up in her 30's and

> was getting desperate to have a child. "

I feel so sorry for women who are desperate to have a child. I went

through a stage around age 35 where I wanted children but not

desperately (and it didn't last long). I'm so glad I don't feel that

way because reason needs to win out. It can have such disasterous

results for parent(s) and child. And also if a woman wants a child so

badly that she has one without a father. That is so unfair to the

child. My husband was talking to a woman he knew once who did that and

the little boy looked up at him and said, " Are you my daddy? " I get so

sad every time I think of that.

" Boy let me tell you, that wedding was

> unbelievable. It was like old country gentry meets the Deliverance

crew. "

:)

[Guest guest]

I think women can be predatory in many different respects. They can:

1) " Entrap " men in marriage by becoming pregnant. (Yes - it takes

two to tango, and so both parties should not have sex unless they

are willing to risk having an unwanted pregnancy. Yet some women

will not use birth control and others have admitted to techniques to

get themselves pregnant that are best not described here.)

2) They look for " sugar daddies. " (Men to support them).

3) They can prey on small children. Except that since women are

often placed in the position of caregivers, au pairs, baby sitters,

nurses, and moms, molesting a child may not be noticed by others, or

if it is witnessed, it may be wrongly assumed that they are merely

performing their duties/roles instead of molesting a child.

4) They may seduce teenage males, who are unlikely to report the

situation because the occurence might be like " a dream come true " to

them. If fact, I suspect that the only time such things are

reported is when the female becomes a stalker.

5) Sexually harrass their male coworkers. Married males are often

caught in a bad position when this happens to them. If the man

reports it, the woman can respond by alleging that HE was the

instigator, and that he reported it because he knew she was

intending to report him. And given that more men in this society

than women are offender, her word might be more likely accepted than

his.

Tom

Administrator

" I have a cousin that was up in her 30's and

> was getting desperate to have a child. "

I feel so sorry for women who are desperate to have a child. I went

through a stage around age 35 where I wanted children but not

desperately (and it didn't last long). I'm so glad I don't feel that

way because reason needs to win out. It can have such disasterous

results for parent(s) and child. And also if a woman wants a child so

badly that she has one without a father. That is so unfair to the

child. My husband was talking to a woman he knew once who did that

and the little boy looked up at him and said, " Are you my daddy? " I

get so sad every time I think of that.

" Boy let me tell you, that wedding was

> unbelievable. It was like old country gentry meets the Deliverance

crew. "

:)

[Guest guest]

I've also heard where there are quite a few women batterers and they

use the male's inability to hit a woman and embarrassment to tell

someone that they're being battered by a woman, to their advantage.

> " I have a cousin that was up in her 30's and

> > was getting desperate to have a child. "

>

> I feel so sorry for women who are desperate to have a child. I went

> through a stage around age 35 where I wanted children but not

> desperately (and it didn't last long). I'm so glad I don't feel that

> way because reason needs to win out. It can have such disasterous

> results for parent(s) and child. And also if a woman wants a child

so

> badly that she has one without a father. That is so unfair to the

> child. My husband was talking to a woman he knew once who did that

> and the little boy looked up at him and said, " Are you my daddy? " I

> get so sad every time I think of that.

>

> " Boy let me tell you, that wedding was

> > unbelievable. It was like old country gentry meets the Deliverance

> crew. "

>

> :)

>

[Guest guest]

My grandma's brother went and drowned himself after his wife was first

unfaithful on a regular basis, and then hit him in the head with a frying

pan so he nearly went blind when he complained about it. :´(

Inger

Re: 37-Year-Old Woman Marries Teen

I've also heard where there are quite a few women batterers and they

use the male's inability to hit a woman and embarrassment to tell

someone that they're being battered by a woman, to their advantage.

[Guest guest]

I've only hit a BF once (in my 20's). He kept bugging me about something and I lost it and gave him a black eye. He gave me one back. That was that. Next day we had a big concert scheduled. Luckily it was outdoors so we could both wear sunglasses.

Inger

Re: Re: 37-Year-Old Woman Marries Teen

In a message dated 11/15/2005 2:19:40 PM Eastern Standard Time, mikecarrie01@... writes:

I've also heard where there are quite a few women batterers and they use the male's inability to hit a woman and embarrassment to tell someone that they're being battered by a woman, to their advantage.

My father almost married one of those. She had moved in with him and she would hit him during arguments. It got to the point that she broke a plate over his head and when he reared back to hit her she dared him to do it because she'd call the police and have him in jail. I've also overheard a few women talking about how they can treat their boyfriends like trash and know they can get away with it because if they hit back they can call the police.

There's another factor here as well. Most men would not want to admit they get beaten up by their wives or girlfriends. It would be embarassing for them to have to call the police to get her taken away because it might make them seem like less of a man. Really though if you look at the statistics, abuse is just about even across the boards.

I think this is where things have gotten too far out of balance. In my opinion, if you are willing to hit someone else, you should be willing to get hit back. By the same token if someone hits you, you should have every right to hit back. The fault should lie with either the one who threw the first blow or with the one who aggitated until they were struck. Granted that second bit would make things murky, but it is better than the current system.

It would also help to rework the mindset of the people that keep going back to the abusers. Both men and women keep going back into abusive relationship and often even refuse to press charges. If people would just walk away from such a person and not go back things would be better. Likewise if we could tag repeat offenders like we do sex offenders, then people could know what they are getting into with these people. Some of them can play a really smooth game and draw people in until it is too late for them to get out.