Re: Owning Up to Who I am...Although...Who am I?

[Guest guest]

I do think a lot about why I am the way I am, especially the part that seem to be intrinsically part of who am (as opposed to things that are part of my life experiences and could presumable be changed with other life experiences or perhaps therapy).I am very familiar with the concept of everything happens for a reason, but lately I have come to question the truth of that. It seem to me like some things are random. It seems to me that belief in God does not necessarily mean that we have to believe that everything happens for a reason. I have also heard the idea that God has a reason for everything, but we may not understand the reason. To be honest, I have not been very fond of that saying. I always like to know the why of everything, it bothers me not to.A couple random thoughts. Sometimes I like to think of my self as one of the experimental models. I was watching a show on making custom choppers (motercycles) and a big emphasis was on making a custom chopper that looks signficantly different than the production (standard) models. These one of a kind choppers are concidered much more valuable than the standard models. It was then I thought that perhaps I was a one of a kind custom model. I am also reminded of various posts on my crochet groups. Often a crocheter will give a special handmade one of kind item to a friend or family member, only to find their gift was not appreciated, the person would rather have a brand name item. On the other hand many people are delighted to get a handmade gift and value it higher than the standard store bought item. So I think I am also like that special one of a kind hand made item that some value more highly and some value less highly.What it really comes down to is this: I am the way I am. There are good parts, bad parts, strange parts and confusing parts. Many of these things are not my choosing, not something I had a say in. Many of these things cannot be changed. But I do have choices. I can accept my self - problems and all. I can choose to focus on my good points. Or I can be full of self hatred and embarressment at who I am.When I started a path of self exploration around seven years ago I kept running into things that were strange and confusing and made know sense. I also became aware that these were core things and it caused me much anxiety and distress to change them. So I finally made a decision a couple of years ago that I would love and accept myself even though I was completely unable to figure out major parts of myself. I decided to be at peace with who I am. Yes, this is easier said than done, it was not easy or instantanious. It was not until after I had become accepting and comfortable with myself that learned about AS under other things and started to reach some kind of explaination.There are many parts of me I am still struggling to understand, but starting with acceptance makes it a little bit easier.Ilah>> Hello Everyone,> > I posted part of this in Secret Shield in response to a post there, > but it has caused me to get into a contemplative mood.> > I had an interesting experience today that made me think more about> who I am.> > When I have to handle things alone, I am not aware of myself or how I> come across. Earlier this week my car broke down and I had to arrange> for towing and to get it fixed. I thought I did a great job, but an> experience today taught me that I must have come across as failry> helpless.> > Today I got some new tires put on my car and my dad drove me over> there. I did some extensive research on what the numbers and letters> on the side of the tire mean and determined what sort of tires I> wanted and why.> > When I went to the store, I had no problem pointing out the tires,> and indicating that I wanted four of them, but had a hard time with> the actual transaction, such as paying for them and filling out> the paperwork. My dad took over and made the transaction look easy.> > I came away feeling ashamed, because I know I can never do what he> does with such ease and with such a confident manner.> > Thinking about this experience later, I thought to myself that I am a> quiet person who just wants to keep to himself. I can barely handle> the most mundane and routine aspects of life and would much prefer it> if I didn't have to deal with them.> > My point is that sometimes I believe my life is one big masquerade > ball, except I don;t know any of the waltzes, and Iam always out of > step.> > I am not sel-pitying here, and not exactly depressed. I am just > pondering that ubiquitous question: WHY?> > Specifically:> > In a life where (statistically speaking) it was more probable for me > to be born neurotypical and without the disabilities which cause me > to have to work harder in certain areas at life, WHY was I born THIS > way. No matter how hard I TRY to fit in, or not how matter how much I > TRY to manage to do the things other people do, I simply CANNOT. Or > if I am able, it is only with considerable effort. > > WHY?> > It seems rather silly to think that God arranged my brain this way > for my benefit. But it also seems too cold to believe that there is > no God and my AS is merely a random and half-baked offshoot of the > cold universe's creative processes.> > Sometimes I am proud of who I am. And other times -like today- I am > reminded of my shortcomings and am not so proud anymore.> > What do the rest of you think about the way you were made?> > Any thoughts?> > Tom> Administrator>

[Guest guest]

I just made a new friend about a month ago. I noticed she was a

solitary person but I didn't think about it until she began seeking

me out. We would talk for a long time and she would seek me out but

not others. I realized she was Aspergers and just told her so,

yesterday. She is so happy at finding out at age 55, I think she is.

She said people think she's cold and mean and has even been called

evil and she could never understand why, when she tries so hard. Now

she does. The point is, she has helped several people in a big way,

including many family members as a result of the qualities that are

Aspergers. I think about some people who have made a difference in

the world but who suffered for it and for being different. I am

thankful for these people and I feel that we can make a difference

even if we suffer for it, and I would rather be different and have

frustrations and fears at not being able to fit in, or do things that

should be so simple, if I can help people and make a difference.

>

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I posted part of this in Secret Shield in response to a post there,

> but it has caused me to get into a contemplative mood.

>

> I had an interesting experience today that made me think more about

> who I am.

>

> When I have to handle things alone, I am not aware of myself or how

I

> come across. Earlier this week my car broke down and I had to

arrange

> for towing and to get it fixed. I thought I did a great job, but an

> experience today taught me that I must have come across as failry

> helpless.

>

> Today I got some new tires put on my car and my dad drove me over

> there. I did some extensive research on what the numbers and letters

> on the side of the tire mean and determined what sort of tires I

> wanted and why.

>

> When I went to the store, I had no problem pointing out the tires,

> and indicating that I wanted four of them, but had a hard time with

> the actual transaction, such as paying for them and filling out

> the paperwork. My dad took over and made the transaction look easy.

>

> I came away feeling ashamed, because I know I can never do what he

> does with such ease and with such a confident manner.

>

> Thinking about this experience later, I thought to myself that I am

a

> quiet person who just wants to keep to himself. I can barely handle

> the most mundane and routine aspects of life and would much prefer

it

> if I didn't have to deal with them.

>

> My point is that sometimes I believe my life is one big masquerade

> ball, except I don;t know any of the waltzes, and Iam always out of

> step.

>

> I am not sel-pitying here, and not exactly depressed. I am just

> pondering that ubiquitous question: WHY?

>

> Specifically:

>

> In a life where (statistically speaking) it was more probable for

me

> to be born neurotypical and without the disabilities which cause me

> to have to work harder in certain areas at life, WHY was I born

THIS

> way. No matter how hard I TRY to fit in, or not how matter how much

I

> TRY to manage to do the things other people do, I simply CANNOT. Or

> if I am able, it is only with considerable effort.

>

> WHY?

>

> It seems rather silly to think that God arranged my brain this way

> for my benefit. But it also seems too cold to believe that there is

> no God and my AS is merely a random and half-baked offshoot of the

> cold universe's creative processes.

>

> Sometimes I am proud of who I am. And other times -like today- I

am

> reminded of my shortcomings and am not so proud anymore.

>

> What do the rest of you think about the way you were made?

>

> Any thoughts?

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

If you want to tell her about this place, you are more than welcome.

We can always use new members.

Tom

Administrator

I just made a new friend about a month ago. I noticed she was a

solitary person but I didn't think about it until she began seeking

me out. We would talk for a long time and she would seek me out but

not others. I realized she was Aspergers and just told her so,

yesterday. She is so happy at finding out at age 55, I think she is.

She said people think she's cold and mean and has even been called

evil and she could never understand why, when she tries so hard. Now

she does. The point is, she has helped several people in a big way,

including many family members as a result of the qualities that are

Aspergers. I think about some people who have made a difference in

the world but who suffered for it and for being different. I am

thankful for these people and I feel that we can make a difference

even if we suffer for it, and I would rather be different and have

frustrations and fears at not being able to fit in, or do things that

should be so simple, if I can help people and make a difference.

[Guest guest]

Okay, thanks. She might like being able to talk to others like her

and see that there are many, after all these years of frustration.

Does anyone else notice just how many people out there are Aspergers

or HFA? I am noticing a lot that I think could be or am pretty sure

are.

>

> I just made a new friend about a month ago. I noticed she was a

> solitary person but I didn't think about it until she began seeking

> me out. We would talk for a long time and she would seek me out but

> not others. I realized she was Aspergers and just told her so,

> yesterday. She is so happy at finding out at age 55, I think she is.

> She said people think she's cold and mean and has even been called

> evil and she could never understand why, when she tries so hard. Now

> she does. The point is, she has helped several people in a big way,

> including many family members as a result of the qualities that are

> Aspergers. I think about some people who have made a difference in

> the world but who suffered for it and for being different. I am

> thankful for these people and I feel that we can make a difference

> even if we suffer for it, and I would rather be different and have

> frustrations and fears at not being able to fit in, or do things

that

> should be so simple, if I can help people and make a difference.

>

[Guest guest]

" She said people think she's cold and mean and has even been called

evil and she could never understand why, when she tries so hard. Now

she does. "

Sounds familiar and it hurts when you do care and people say you do

not and have no feelings. Just because I appear to many not to have

feelings and I give the impression I can cope does not mean I can.

" I am thankful for these people and I feel that we can make a

difference even if we suffer for it, and I would rather be different

and have frustrations and fears at not being able to fit in, or do

things that should be so simple, if I can help people and make a

difference. "

I seem to be able to help others with situations and am always there

if I can be for others, but often feel so ineffectual because I

cannot find the right words, but am always willing to help people out

if I can; but for some reason I cannot often do this for myself if

ever, but I do try (gosh lot of buts in that sentence :-)) Also I

seem to go to peices if faced with a form to fill in myself and yet I

can help another fill one out.

>

> I just made a new friend about a month ago. I noticed she was a

> solitary person but I didn't think about it until she began seeking

> me out. We would talk for a long time and she would seek me out but

> not others. I realized she was Aspergers and just told her so,

> yesterday. She is so happy at finding out at age 55, I think she

is.

> She said people think she's cold and mean and has even been called

> evil and she could never understand why, when she tries so hard.

Now

> she does. The point is, she has helped several people in a big way,

> including many family members as a result of the qualities that are

> Aspergers. I think about some people who have made a difference in

> the world but who suffered for it and for being different. I am

> thankful for these people and I feel that we can make a difference

> even if we suffer for it, and I would rather be different and have

> frustrations and fears at not being able to fit in, or do things

that

> should be so simple, if I can help people and make a difference.

>

[Guest guest]

> >

> > I just made a new friend about a month ago. I noticed she was a

> > solitary person but I didn't think about it until she began

seeking

> > me out. We would talk for a long time and she would seek me out

but

> > not others. I realized she was Aspergers and just told her so,

> > yesterday. She is so happy at finding out at age 55, I think she

> is.

> > She said people think she's cold and mean and has even been

called

> > evil and she could never understand why, when she tries so hard.

> Now

> > she does. The point is, she has helped several people in a big

way,

> > including many family members as a result of the qualities that

are

> > Aspergers. I think about some people who have made a difference

in

> > the world but who suffered for it and for being different. I am

> > thankful for these people and I feel that we can make a

difference

> > even if we suffer for it, and I would rather be different and

have

> > frustrations and fears at not being able to fit in, or do things

> that

> > should be so simple, if I can help people and make a difference.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Very nicely written, Ilah.

I really like the comparison with motor vehicles. "Concept cars" I believe they are called. They are designed just for show and not for production. (I've always liked those best.)

And I think I've written before somewhere that I too have been thinking of AS as a sort of prototype of the future human. One that has some rather cool 'new & improved' features (e.g. in the area of logic, ethics and perception) but also some initial bugs that makes it frequently malfunction and also more or less incompatible with current models).

Inger

Re: Owning Up to Who I am...Although...Who am I?

I do think a lot about why I am the way I am, especially the part that seem to be intrinsically part of who am (as opposed to things that are part of my life experiences and could presumable be changed with other life experiences or perhaps therapy).

I am very familiar with the concept of everything happens for a reason, but lately I have come to question the truth of that. It seem to me like some things are random. It seems to me that belief in God does not necessarily mean that we have to believe that everything happens for a reason. I have also heard the idea that God has a reason for everything, but we may not understand the reason. To be honest, I have not been very fond of that saying. I always like to know the why of everything, it bothers me not to.

A couple random thoughts. Sometimes I like to think of my self as one of the experimental models. I was watching a show on making custom choppers (motercycles) and a big emphasis was on making a custom chopper that looks signficantly different than the production (standard) models. These one of a kind choppers are concidered much more valuable than the standard models. It was then I thought that perhaps I was a one of a kind custom model. I am also reminded of various posts on my crochet groups. Often a crocheter will give a special handmade one of kind item to a friend or family member, only to find their gift was not appreciated, the person would rather have a brand name item. On the other hand many people are delighted to get a handmade gift and value it higher than the standard store bought item. So I think I am also like that special one of a kind hand made item that some value more highly and some value less highly.

What it really comes down to is this: I am the way I am. There are good parts, bad parts, strange parts and confusing parts. Many of these things are not my choosing, not something I had a say in. Many of these things cannot be changed. But I do have choices. I can accept my self - problems and all. I can choose to focus on my good points. Or I can be full of self hatred and embarressment at who I am.

When I started a path of self exploration around seven years ago I kept running into things that were strange and confusing and made know sense. I also became aware that these were core things and it caused me much anxiety and distress to change them. So I finally made a decision a couple of years ago that I would love and accept myself even though I was completely unable to figure out major parts of myself. I decided to be at peace with who I am. Yes, this is easier said than done, it was not easy or instantanious. It was not until after I had become accepting and comfortable with myself that learned about AS under other things and started to reach some kind of explaination.

There are many parts of me I am still struggling to understand, but starting with acceptance makes it a little bit easier.

Ilah

>> Hello Everyone,> > I posted part of this in Secret Shield in response to a post there, > but it has caused me to get into a contemplative mood.> > I had an interesting experience today that made me think more about> who I am.> > When I have to handle things alone, I am not aware of myself or how I> come across. Earlier this week my car broke down and I had to arrange> for towing and to get it fixed. I thought I did a great job, but an> experience today taught me that I must have come across as failry> helpless.> > Today I got some new tires put on my car and my dad drove me over> there. I did some extensive research on what the numbers and letters> on the side of the tire mean and determined what sort of tires I> wanted and why.> > When I went to the store, I had no problem pointing out the tires,> and indicating that I wanted four of them, but had a hard time with> the actual transaction, such as paying for them and filling out> the paperwork. My dad took over and made the transaction look easy.> > I came away feeling ashamed, because I know I can never do what he> does with such ease and with such a confident manner.> > Thinking about this experience later, I thought to myself that I am a> quiet person who just wants to keep to himself. I can barely handle> the most mundane and routine aspects of life and would much prefer it> if I didn't have to deal with them.> > My point is that sometimes I believe my life is one big masquerade > ball, except I don;t know any of the waltzes, and Iam always out of > step.> > I am not sel-pitying here, and not exactly depressed. I am just > pondering that ubiquitous question: WHY?> > Specifically:> > In a life where (statistically speaking) it was more probable for me > to be born neurotypical and without the disabilities which cause me > to have to work harder in certain areas at life, WHY was I born THIS > way. No matter how hard I TRY to fit in, or not how matter how much I > TRY to manage to do the things other people do, I simply CANNOT. Or > if I am able, it is only with considerable effort. > > WHY?> > It seems rather silly to think that God arranged my brain this way > for my benefit. But it also seems too cold to believe that there is > no God and my AS is merely a random and half-baked offshoot of the > cold universe's creative processes.> > Sometimes I am proud of who I am. And other times -like today- I am > reminded of my shortcomings and am not so proud anymore.> > What do the rest of you think about the way you were made?> > Any thoughts?> > Tom> Administrator>

[Guest guest]

Very nicely written, Ilah.

I really like the comparison with motor vehicles. "Concept cars" I believe they are called. They are designed just for show and not for production. (I've always liked those best.)

And I think I've written before somewhere that I too have been thinking of AS as a sort of prototype of the future human. One that has some rather cool 'new & improved' features (e.g. in the area of logic, ethics and perception) but also some initial bugs that makes it frequently malfunction and also more or less incompatible with current models).

Inger

Re: Owning Up to Who I am...Although...Who am I?

I do think a lot about why I am the way I am, especially the part that seem to be intrinsically part of who am (as opposed to things that are part of my life experiences and could presumable be changed with other life experiences or perhaps therapy).

I am very familiar with the concept of everything happens for a reason, but lately I have come to question the truth of that. It seem to me like some things are random. It seems to me that belief in God does not necessarily mean that we have to believe that everything happens for a reason. I have also heard the idea that God has a reason for everything, but we may not understand the reason. To be honest, I have not been very fond of that saying. I always like to know the why of everything, it bothers me not to.

A couple random thoughts. Sometimes I like to think of my self as one of the experimental models. I was watching a show on making custom choppers (motercycles) and a big emphasis was on making a custom chopper that looks signficantly different than the production (standard) models. These one of a kind choppers are concidered much more valuable than the standard models. It was then I thought that perhaps I was a one of a kind custom model. I am also reminded of various posts on my crochet groups. Often a crocheter will give a special handmade one of kind item to a friend or family member, only to find their gift was not appreciated, the person would rather have a brand name item. On the other hand many people are delighted to get a handmade gift and value it higher than the standard store bought item. So I think I am also like that special one of a kind hand made item that some value more highly and some value less highly.

What it really comes down to is this: I am the way I am. There are good parts, bad parts, strange parts and confusing parts. Many of these things are not my choosing, not something I had a say in. Many of these things cannot be changed. But I do have choices. I can accept my self - problems and all. I can choose to focus on my good points. Or I can be full of self hatred and embarressment at who I am.

When I started a path of self exploration around seven years ago I kept running into things that were strange and confusing and made know sense. I also became aware that these were core things and it caused me much anxiety and distress to change them. So I finally made a decision a couple of years ago that I would love and accept myself even though I was completely unable to figure out major parts of myself. I decided to be at peace with who I am. Yes, this is easier said than done, it was not easy or instantanious. It was not until after I had become accepting and comfortable with myself that learned about AS under other things and started to reach some kind of explaination.

There are many parts of me I am still struggling to understand, but starting with acceptance makes it a little bit easier.

Ilah

>> Hello Everyone,> > I posted part of this in Secret Shield in response to a post there, > but it has caused me to get into a contemplative mood.> > I had an interesting experience today that made me think more about> who I am.> > When I have to handle things alone, I am not aware of myself or how I> come across. Earlier this week my car broke down and I had to arrange> for towing and to get it fixed. I thought I did a great job, but an> experience today taught me that I must have come across as failry> helpless.> > Today I got some new tires put on my car and my dad drove me over> there. I did some extensive research on what the numbers and letters> on the side of the tire mean and determined what sort of tires I> wanted and why.> > When I went to the store, I had no problem pointing out the tires,> and indicating that I wanted four of them, but had a hard time with> the actual transaction, such as paying for them and filling out> the paperwork. My dad took over and made the transaction look easy.> > I came away feeling ashamed, because I know I can never do what he> does with such ease and with such a confident manner.> > Thinking about this experience later, I thought to myself that I am a> quiet person who just wants to keep to himself. I can barely handle> the most mundane and routine aspects of life and would much prefer it> if I didn't have to deal with them.> > My point is that sometimes I believe my life is one big masquerade > ball, except I don;t know any of the waltzes, and Iam always out of > step.> > I am not sel-pitying here, and not exactly depressed. I am just > pondering that ubiquitous question: WHY?> > Specifically:> > In a life where (statistically speaking) it was more probable for me > to be born neurotypical and without the disabilities which cause me > to have to work harder in certain areas at life, WHY was I born THIS > way. No matter how hard I TRY to fit in, or not how matter how much I > TRY to manage to do the things other people do, I simply CANNOT. Or > if I am able, it is only with considerable effort. > > WHY?> > It seems rather silly to think that God arranged my brain this way > for my benefit. But it also seems too cold to believe that there is > no God and my AS is merely a random and half-baked offshoot of the > cold universe's creative processes.> > Sometimes I am proud of who I am. And other times -like today- I am > reminded of my shortcomings and am not so proud anymore.> > What do the rest of you think about the way you were made?> > Any thoughts?> > Tom> Administrator>

[Guest guest]

Tom,

perhaps some of us are simply not designed to handle the boring & mundane

stuff; we're better at other things instead. Your main problem seems to be

that you don't have a personal valet to take care of the annoying bits for

you. (Though personal valets can be annoying too of course, since they're

human.)

When are they going to finish inventing the personal robot? We've been

waiting and waiting for nearly a century now! I'd love a nice and friendly

one like Bicentennial Man.

Inger

>

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I posted part of this in Secret Shield in response to a post there,

> but it has caused me to get into a contemplative mood.

>

> I had an interesting experience today that made me think more about

> who I am.

>

> When I have to handle things alone, I am not aware of myself or how

I

> come across. Earlier this week my car broke down and I had to

arrange

> for towing and to get it fixed. I thought I did a great job, but an

> experience today taught me that I must have come across as failry

> helpless.

>

> Today I got some new tires put on my car and my dad drove me over

> there. I did some extensive research on what the numbers and letters

> on the side of the tire mean and determined what sort of tires I

> wanted and why.

>

> When I went to the store, I had no problem pointing out the tires,

> and indicating that I wanted four of them, but had a hard time with

> the actual transaction, such as paying for them and filling out

> the paperwork. My dad took over and made the transaction look easy.

>

> I came away feeling ashamed, because I know I can never do what he

> does with such ease and with such a confident manner.

>

> Thinking about this experience later, I thought to myself that I am

a

> quiet person who just wants to keep to himself. I can barely handle

> the most mundane and routine aspects of life and would much prefer

it

> if I didn't have to deal with them.

>

> My point is that sometimes I believe my life is one big masquerade

> ball, except I don;t know any of the waltzes, and Iam always out of

> step.

>

> I am not sel-pitying here, and not exactly depressed. I am just

> pondering that ubiquitous question: WHY?

>

> Specifically:

>

> In a life where (statistically speaking) it was more probable for

me

> to be born neurotypical and without the disabilities which cause me

> to have to work harder in certain areas at life, WHY was I born

THIS

> way. No matter how hard I TRY to fit in, or not how matter how much

I

> TRY to manage to do the things other people do, I simply CANNOT. Or

> if I am able, it is only with considerable effort.

>

> WHY?

>

> It seems rather silly to think that God arranged my brain this way

> for my benefit. But it also seems too cold to believe that there is

> no God and my AS is merely a random and half-baked offshoot of the

> cold universe's creative processes.

>

> Sometimes I am proud of who I am. And other times -like today- I

am

> reminded of my shortcomings and am not so proud anymore.

>

> What do the rest of you think about the way you were made?

>

> Any thoughts?

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

acceptance. Everyone is valued.

Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the

folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/2/2005 10:16:33 AM Eastern Standard Time, no_reply writes:

,Not to be elitist, but I am beginning to think that Aspies were built to be "idea people" and "conceptualizers," and that we were NOT built to do the sorts of petty mundane tasks that most people easily perform and tend not to concern themselves with. Tom

Tom,

You could have a point there. I am much more comfortable with ideas and designing things than mundane tasks like preparing food, cleaning the house, doing laundry and things like that. I wouldn't mind having a low-intelligence robot to handle those things for me. I mean, it wouldn't have to have much more mental capacity than a dog to handle house cleaning and cooking food following its programs. It wouldn't need the reasoning capacity of a human. I'm not sure I would actually want a robot as smart as me but could think with the speed of a computer running around, unless it was built kinda soft so a human could take it hand to hand.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/2/2005 10:16:33 AM Eastern Standard Time, no_reply writes:

,Not to be elitist, but I am beginning to think that Aspies were built to be "idea people" and "conceptualizers," and that we were NOT built to do the sorts of petty mundane tasks that most people easily perform and tend not to concern themselves with. Tom

Tom,

You could have a point there. I am much more comfortable with ideas and designing things than mundane tasks like preparing food, cleaning the house, doing laundry and things like that. I wouldn't mind having a low-intelligence robot to handle those things for me. I mean, it wouldn't have to have much more mental capacity than a dog to handle house cleaning and cooking food following its programs. It wouldn't need the reasoning capacity of a human. I'm not sure I would actually want a robot as smart as me but could think with the speed of a computer running around, unless it was built kinda soft so a human could take it hand to hand.

[Guest guest]

Inger,

Actually, my main problem seems to be that, in many instances, a

personal valet can take care of things better than me, and that scares

me, because it means I don't have the minimal skills necessary to do

the simplest tasks.

Tom

Your main problem seems to be that you don't have a personal valet to

take care of the annoying bits for you.

[Guest guest]

I kind of get sick of people telling me I am intelligent and yet I

cannot manage the simpliest of tasks - what is the use of intelligence

if I can not function enough to manage simple day to day tasks?

>

> Your main problem seems to be that you don't have a personal valet to

> take care of the annoying bits for you.

>

[Guest guest]

,

Not to be elitist, but I am beginning to think that Aspies were built

to be " idea people " and " conceptualizers, " and that we were NOT built

to do the sorts of petty mundane tasks that most people easily perform

and tend not to concern themselves with.

Tom

I kind of get sick of people telling me I am intelligent and yet I

cannot manage the simpliest of tasks - what is the use of intelligence

if I can not function enough to manage simple day to day tasks?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/2/2005 12:03:02 PM Eastern Standard Time, mikecarrie01@... writes:

The paperwork/red tape problem is so huge, annoying and unnecessary that I can't imagine how on earth it got so ridiculous. Sometimes I wonder if it's a ploy to keep us busy so that we won't question what's really going on.

It happened because of bureacrats. Bureacrats derive their power from the complexity of their systems. The greater the complexity, the greater their power. This is why the US tax code is 60,000 pages long. The IRS wields enormous power because noone has any idea if they are filling out the forms correctly and a call from the IRS and its draconian powers is enough to chill the blood.

Another example is the Chinese. About the same time the European age of exploration was beginning, the Chinese were doing the same. The Europeans set out in handfuls of small boats, but the Chinese sent a fleet of 200 large ships. The Chinese went as far as the African coast before returning, bringing new animals and trade goods with them.

The Chinese bureacrats saw all this as a threat to their power. They had the entire population of China categorized into a caste system and the economy was under their control. These new outside influences were things they could not easily control. So, they ordered the fleet destroyed and it was. There were no more great Chinese explorations. Still that wasn't enough. Not long after, ocean going trade ships were banned and destroyed as well. Bt the time the Europeans reached China, only tiny coastal fishing vessels were allowed and even they would have been destroyed had China not needed the fish.

Other aspects of society were also rigidly controlled. The Bureacracy massively regulated construction. They did this by specifying a handful of "legal" joins, beam lengths and ornamentations. This did simplify construction, but it did not allow for innovation. This is also why so much of China looks the same: because it was against the law to look or be built any different.

China did have an early lead with water powered machines and other things. The bureacrats struck here as well. They limited the number of the machines and the type of work they could do, as well as standardizing the designs and forbidding and changes. If not for that, the Industrial Revolution could well have started in China centuries before it did in Europe.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/2/2005 12:03:02 PM Eastern Standard Time, mikecarrie01@... writes:

The paperwork/red tape problem is so huge, annoying and unnecessary that I can't imagine how on earth it got so ridiculous. Sometimes I wonder if it's a ploy to keep us busy so that we won't question what's really going on.

It happened because of bureacrats. Bureacrats derive their power from the complexity of their systems. The greater the complexity, the greater their power. This is why the US tax code is 60,000 pages long. The IRS wields enormous power because noone has any idea if they are filling out the forms correctly and a call from the IRS and its draconian powers is enough to chill the blood.

Another example is the Chinese. About the same time the European age of exploration was beginning, the Chinese were doing the same. The Europeans set out in handfuls of small boats, but the Chinese sent a fleet of 200 large ships. The Chinese went as far as the African coast before returning, bringing new animals and trade goods with them.

The Chinese bureacrats saw all this as a threat to their power. They had the entire population of China categorized into a caste system and the economy was under their control. These new outside influences were things they could not easily control. So, they ordered the fleet destroyed and it was. There were no more great Chinese explorations. Still that wasn't enough. Not long after, ocean going trade ships were banned and destroyed as well. Bt the time the Europeans reached China, only tiny coastal fishing vessels were allowed and even they would have been destroyed had China not needed the fish.

Other aspects of society were also rigidly controlled. The Bureacracy massively regulated construction. They did this by specifying a handful of "legal" joins, beam lengths and ornamentations. This did simplify construction, but it did not allow for innovation. This is also why so much of China looks the same: because it was against the law to look or be built any different.

China did have an early lead with water powered machines and other things. The bureacrats struck here as well. They limited the number of the machines and the type of work they could do, as well as standardizing the designs and forbidding and changes. If not for that, the Industrial Revolution could well have started in China centuries before it did in Europe.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/2/2005 2:09:15 PM Eastern Standard Time, inglori@... writes:

This is exactly how I've always felt! Being born into a common working family in a suburb was a total shock to me. Where were all the silk dresses and interesting toys? The gothic arches and beautiful flower gardens? The chamber maid, the cook and my private tutor?When I finally got a personal assistant (because of an injury that made me a bit disabled for a while) nothing has ever felt more natural. I had no problem at all switching from doing everything myself , to just leaving him the responsibility for shopping, paying my bills, collecting my mail, taking calls, driving me wherever I needed to go and carrying anything I wanted to bring or buy. (Only now 9 years later have I gotten sick of it, and strong enough again to do most things myself again.) But it was shocking to me that it felt so natural and familiar to have someone else take care of everything heavy and boring. Especially since I'm ideologically more to the left and have trouble with the idea of having servants. But what to do when one NEEDS it?What I find odd is that so MANY of the hundreds of Aspies I've talked with feel the same way. Perhaps our type survived the darker ages by either having servants or joining a convent?Inger

I don't know that joining a convent would be a way to escape work. Rather it would mean more work and tight schedules.

As for myself, my family is decended from low level aristocracy. One of the ancestors came from Holland to fight for Henry the VII and was made a Gentleman for his efforts. Gentleman was the bottom rung on the noblity scale where the knights and others were. He and his decendants became merchants and were noted enough that one of them was given a land grant in Virginia in 1640. He sailed his own merchant ship over here and set up his own township as required by the grant. The family held out reasonably well over here until the Stock Market Crash of 1929. Then, like so many others, they lost a great deal and never really recovered. This is my mother's side.

My father's side is a little less well known. We know that during the Revolution, they left the South Carolina regions for Alabama to get away from the war. Later, after the Mexican American War, they established the village of Buena Vista along with some friends. In time, my family bought the store and became prosperous merchants. Unfortunately again, after WW2, a new highway was built that bypassed the town so the village slowly withered and died. My father and his brother didn't quite share the earlier generation's business acumen.

In both cases, the land was divided up generation by generation until very little of the orginal was left. I own a sizable bit of the paternal lands, but much of it is in the hands of other cousins or belongs to big companies like Georgia Pacific.

I would like to have someone come by once or twice per week and do some cleaning for me, but there isn't anyone reliable around here there days. I also wouldn't mind having ready made meals or even just an inexpensive liquid meal that I could drink quickly.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/2/2005 2:16:25 PM Eastern Standard Time, inglori@... writes:

Now you're getting it, ! ;-)Here in Europe it has become so absurd with all the new EU rules & regulations, that a farmer needs to spend more time at his desk than in the field.Inger

Inger,

It is like that in the forestry industry in the states too. There are all kinds of rules like you can't cut within 50 feet of a stream and other things like that. Lots of red tape and junk. Some of it is easily abused too. We once outbid a man for a property and he called the state EPA on us because a crew missed a branch that fell into a stream blocking it a little. Fortunately nothing came of it because there was nothing to it. I was in favor of suing over false charges or something, but the partners just wanted to let it slide.

[Guest guest]

This is funny because when pondering whether or not racial memory is

true (I think it is) I thought my ancestors must have been of

the 'gentle' class, the rich, unemployed who sat around studying,

riding their horses and playing the piano and that I inherited those

desires but no ideas on how to take care of the mundane tasks of life!

>

> I kind of get sick of people telling me I am intelligent and yet I

> cannot manage the simpliest of tasks - what is the use of

intelligence

> if I can not function enough to manage simple day to day tasks?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

At 10:16 AM 11/2/2005, you wrote:

>,

>

>Not to be elitist, but I am beginning to think that Aspies were built

>to be " idea people " and " conceptualizers, " and that we were NOT built

>to do the sorts of petty mundane tasks that most people easily perform

>and tend not to concern themselves with.

>

>Tom

>

>

>

>I kind of get sick of people telling me I am intelligent and yet I

>cannot manage the simpliest of tasks - what is the use of intelligence

>if I can not function enough to manage simple day to day tasks?

>

>

You may have something there ... :-)

Have you read any of the series of " Dune " books started by

Herbert and being extended by his son and other author... (I

recommend most of them there are like a dozen books now and to me a

couple were less than memorable) Lucas lifted a lot of Star Wars from

" Dune. " the world of Dune is to Star Wars as Lord of the Ring is to

the Hobbit expect Tolkien built on what he started in the Hobbit and

Lucas ripped off a true classic...

In the universe of " Dune " there exist several " sub-species " of

humans... from the original book there are the " Guild Navigators "

that make faster than light travel possible by controlling the

folding of Space-Time... they are barely recognizable as human and

can't exist outside a special environment. The are completely

unable the interface normal humans except through their " trainees "

that have not yet mastered folding space-time... sort of the ultimate Aspie

Then there are " Mentats " the have taken the place of all but the most

primitive automation systems, as result of the outlaw of " machines

made in the image of the mind of man " after a thousand year

domination of humans by the AI systems they had allow too much

control. They could relate to normal humans be were not always

trusted because normal humans frequently didn't understand their

hyper-logical view of the work... sort of like the Techo Aspies

(Nerds) are today.

The third that I will mention here are the " Ivory Tower Cogitors, "

disembodied human brains that are virtually immortal and they spend

their existence " contemplating the universe " and seldom interact with

the rest of the human race...

If Aspies are a mutation the is being selected for that may be where

we're ahead...

Ender...

[Guest guest]

Well, yes I can understand how that would feel scary. I've been incapable

too so I know just how that feels.

I just don't think it's a good idea to take it personally. This world IS

very confusing and annoying. I truly don't think any of us is REALLY

designed to be wasting our time keeping track of an arbitrary invention like

money and paper work. It is just an illusion we have all agreed to buy into.

I can think of lots of alternatives to simplify our lives so that we

wouldn't need it.

I also suspect that more or less EVERYONE - except perhaps extreme control

freaks and accountants -would love to not have to bother with stuff like

that at all. They just do it because they are taught that this is what you

have to do. And no one even questions it except those of us for whom it is

truly unbearable. This is our gift to this world: to question things that

everyone else hates too but think they just have to put up with and never

think to even question.

Perhaps I should write a book about abolishing paper work & money and become

the new Naomi Klein? ;-) Or perhaps she has already written one. :-)

Inger

Re: Owning Up to Who I am...Although...Who am I?

Inger,

Actually, my main problem seems to be that, in many instances, a

personal valet can take care of things better than me, and that scares

me, because it means I don't have the minimal skills necessary to do

the simplest tasks.

Tom

Your main problem seems to be that you don't have a personal valet to

take care of the annoying bits for you.

[Guest guest]

I have a few cousins on each side of the family that are avid geneologists. Most of that makes my eyes glaze over (oh, such and such was you father's uncle's great neice twice removed) but the highlights are interesting.

BTW, if you live in the US and see one of the commemorative and e nickles, e was a direct ancestor of mine on my mother's side.

[Guest guest]

Inger,

It's so true (sobs - wipes eyes).

I think the majority of what we do is rather pointless. Take a look

at animals. When was the last time they had to fill out a form to do

anything?

Does a squirrel have to pay taxes on the nuts it collects?

(Sigh)

Tom

Well, yes I can understand how that would feel scary. I've been

incapable too so I know just how that feels.

I just don't think it's a good idea to take it personally. This

world IS very confusing and annoying. I truly don't think any of us

is REALLY designed to be wasting our time keeping track of an

arbitrary invention like money and paper work. It is just an

illusion we have all agreed to buy into.

I can think of lots of alternatives to simplify our lives so that we

wouldn't need it.

I also suspect that more or less EVERYONE - except perhaps extreme

control freaks and accountants -would love to not have to bother

with stuff like that at all. They just do it because they are taught

that this is what you have to do. And no one even questions it

except those of us for whom it is truly unbearable. This is our gift

to this world: to question things that everyone else hates too but

think they just have to put up with and never think to even question.

Perhaps I should write a book about abolishing paper work & money

and become the new Naomi Klein? ;-) Or perhaps she has already

written one. :-)

Inger

[Guest guest]

" Does a squirrel have to pay taxes on the nuts it collects? "

Mmmmmmm maybe they do, maybe there is a squirrel nut collector that

takes nuts from the other squirrels :-) it's conjuoured up an

interesting visual image, maybe they have nut inspectors too to make

sure the nuts are to regualtion size, type etc :-) Squirrel with clip

board and peak hat, maybe I should go play with photo shop :-)

>

> Inger,

>

> It's so true (sobs - wipes eyes).

>

> I think the majority of what we do is rather pointless. Take a look

> at animals. When was the last time they had to fill out a form to

do

> anything?

>

> Does a squirrel have to pay taxes on the nuts it collects?

>

> (Sigh)

>

> Tom

[Guest guest]

The paperwork/red tape problem is so huge, annoying and unnecessary

that I can't imagine how on earth it got so ridiculous. Sometimes I

wonder if it's a ploy to keep us busy so that we won't question

what's really going on.

>

> Well, yes I can understand how that would feel scary. I've been

> incapable too so I know just how that feels.

>

> I just don't think it's a good idea to take it personally. This

> world IS very confusing and annoying. I truly don't think any of us

> is REALLY designed to be wasting our time keeping track of an

> arbitrary invention like money and paper work. It is just an

> illusion we have all agreed to buy into.

>

> I can think of lots of alternatives to simplify our lives so that we

> wouldn't need it.

>

> I also suspect that more or less EVERYONE - except perhaps extreme

> control freaks and accountants -would love to not have to bother

> with stuff like that at all. They just do it because they are

taught

> that this is what you have to do. And no one even questions it

> except those of us for whom it is truly unbearable. This is our

gift

> to this world: to question things that everyone else hates too but

> think they just have to put up with and never think to even

question.

>

> Perhaps I should write a book about abolishing paper work & money

> and become the new Naomi Klein? ;-) Or perhaps she has already

> written one. :-)

>

> Inger

>