My Hyper Child - (long)

[Guest guest]

Here are some of things we've tried:

Teaching relaxation techniques.

Counting to ten

Taking a deep breath and blowing it out

Play some slow relaxing music in backround

Limit obssesive compulsions - schedule them *if* possible

Talk about emotions and feelings - perhaps some role playing

Use picture cards to help the child to understand

Go to library or local health food store and get a book on vitamins

and natural health practices. Things like childrens liquid Fish Oil,

Calcium, Magnesium, Vitamin D, Vitamin B complex, and Melatonin may

offer some benefits. Talk to the health store or vitamin shop

clerks who are often well informed on such issues. Other good

resources for vitamin regimate are an intergrated physician and

your pharmacist. Some psycologists and behavioral specialist might

be knowlegable also but, tend to lean toward the drugs. Before

starting a new vitamin program discuss it with the childs doctor.

Continue *some* school like structured activity at home.

- Set up a picture schedule for the child to follow.

Set a time for reading, or alphabet work

Set a time for math, or numbers

Set a time for art, craft, coloring

Set a time for computer activity

Set a time for physical exercise

Set a time for spirtual exercise

Set a time for " his choice " of activity

*Keep the activities fun. Mix them up, be creative.

Not meant to be stricked, just to add (some) structure,

a predictable routine and lots of fun.

Picture schedules are important. They let him know what is

expected of him and what is coming up next. Maybe even a picture

schedule of the others in the household so he knows what to expect.

Times for activities may run as little as one minutes, or as long

as an hour, whatever works for him. A parent, babysitter, a playmate,

is to participate with him unless the activity is one he enjoys by

himself.

Reading could be going to the library one day, reading the newspaper

another, reading comic books another, grocery shopping...

Art might be glue & popcycle sticks one day, coloring book another

day, sidewalk chaulk another, cutting pictures out of magazine and

pasting on construction paper...

Etc...

Work with the child's interestes and strenghts. Broaden those

interests and strengths. Use those interests and strengths to

learn alphabet, word recognitions, numbers, time, rulers etc.

Many Asperger kids don't function well in group sports activity

because there are a lot of verbal directions and cognitive

understanding needed to perform those tasks. Sometimes individual

sports and activities are more simplified, specific, predictable,

sight oriented and fewer social skills for a young a Asperger

child to have try to understand.

Keep a notebook of what works and what doesn't. Try to evaluate

why something worked and why it didn't.

" A Smile On Mom's Face Puts A Cookie In A Child's Heart "

Recognize and acknowlege his efforts, talents, contributions with

a smile and some nice (non judgemental) words.

I realize you like to ________.

I appreciate you putting your dishes in the sink.

I appreciate you help with _______.

I've noticed you like to use the color(s) ______

when you draw.

Etc...

Give yourself some " alone time " . Allow and invite the child to

have their " alone time " . 15 min. to 1/2 hour or so a day, at the

very least. Maybe schedule at least one " alone time " for each of

you a day. Maybe use another " as needed " .

Don't punish his hyperness. Help him to *manage* and *organize*

his time and energies. Routines, consistancy, and time.

Short of the drugs, there are no quick fixes. The drugs just mask

the problems, they don't teach the child how to deal with it.

Good parenting skills will teach the child - over time - to manage

his emotions, social skills, time and interests.

No " time outs " for punishment.

Use " recovery time " to regroup himself.

No " warnings " , instead, use " reminders " .

Instead of using the word " no " say " I'll think about it "

or " We'll see " .

Avoid using the word " you "

Instead of " You made that mess " say " I see a mess. "

Instead of " You had better do_____! " say " It would be nice

if (this could be done). "

Use smiles and soft neutral voices with kind words.

Remember, time and consistancy.

Another thing that has helped is learning sign language.

Our son has to stop and look to " hear " us.

He has to stop and think to respond in sign.

(Still in progress, works 60% of times used)

As for fear of going to bed, try roll playing with his favorite

cartoon charactor or class mate. " If Barney was afraid to go

to bed, what do you think he might be a fraid of?

One child I know of was afraid to go to bed because they kept

having a recurring nightmare of jelly fish biting him. As the

parents found out there is an episode of Sponge Bob where they

get chased and stung by a bunch of jelly fish. For the next

several nights they had to reassure the child that there were no

jelly fish in their house, he was not at a beach, and none could

get into the house anyway because they " lock the front door " at

night before going to bed.

Another idea is to sent his bed with mom's scent. Either

spray a corner of his bed with some of mom's perfume or deoderant,

or mom sleep with a pillow case for three days and then put it over

*his* pillow.

Finally, as you know, with medication sometimes the desired

effect is to just slow a person down a bit so they can better

think through the situation and employ social and life coping skills.

In closing, keep asking, attend parenting workshops, read about

autism and behavior strategies. And keep showing your child just

how much you really do love him.

If you have any questions feel free to write.

Yours in Parenting

Tim

Thian's Dad

thiansdad@...