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~

My son is now 14, and I always say he would be the first person to help a stranger find a "lost dog". Funny, he also is obsessed with those flyers......last fall, we got him one of those remote control cars, and typical Aspie, a kid from the neighborhood wanted to see it, so in a panic state he informs me he will show it to him. My parting words, "don't leave the driveway", while working in my home office, 1/2 hour later, can't find Kenny.......get in the car, he is 1/2 across the neighborhood, IN SOMEONE'S HOUSE THAT I DON'T KNOW!!!!! So, the cord has been re-attached. For the flyers, Kenny has found about 6 lost dogs, a nice little income. We have reached an agreement, if we see a flyer, we will case the streets for 10 minutes, if we don't find the animal, "it has found it's way home and the owners simply didn't take the signs down". We still enforce daily the stranger danger, that with a prayer & fingers crossed. You can check with your local humane society and find out about volunteer work, it helps them help the animals. Good luck! ~

Stranger Danger

My 9yr old daughter absolutely loves animals. Especially cats & dogs.She really gets upset when she sees flyers posted for lost pets. I amreally concerned about if a stranger asks her to help him find a lostpet & actually intends on something worse. I have tried to explainthis to her but I don't think she understands. Any thoughts on how youexplain this topic to a child with mild Aspergers?Thank You, E.Colorado

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,

We live about 5 feet outside the school zone and this is one of the MAJOR

reasons I don't let my 12 year old AS son walk to school. The stranger book

we used to read was the Bearenstein Bears and he seemed to get it. However,

I knew the animal approach would be a VERY tough one if he ever encountered

it.

Since he has gotten older, we have gone over it again and even he admits

that that would be one decision he would hesitate on just long enough for it

to be a problem, so we continue to avoid situations where he might be alone

for now.

I will be interested in hearing what others have to say on this one.

-Charlotte

Stranger Danger

My 9yr old daughter absolutely loves animals. Especially cats & dogs.

She really gets upset when she sees flyers posted for lost pets. I am

really concerned about if a stranger asks her to help him find a lost

pet & actually intends on something worse. I have tried to explain

this to her but I don't think she understands. Any thoughts on how you

explain this topic to a child with mild Aspergers?

Thank You,

E.

Colorado

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, that sounds so much like my son!!

The other one is “don’t open the door for strangers”.

One day some guy parked in my driveway I had NO idea who he was but he appeared

to be going to the bean supper across the street. I have no idea why he

thought it would be ok to park IN my driveway but I looked out and there is my

son TALKING TO HIM!! I ran out there and he came walking up to me like

nothing happened and I said WHAT are you doing talking to a stranger?? He

said “mom he was in our driveway so I thought he must be a friend of dads”

AHHHHHH!!!!

As for the animals, my son has issues with

those posters too. Unfortunately we have been putting up our own over the

past couple of weeks because our cat is missing. collects money for

the SPCA and 2 weeks ago we dropped off $150 cash to the shelter! He is

also on the waiting list to become a Jr. Volunteer when he turns 13 in October,

he’s very excited about that!

-Charlotte

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of Bernstein

Sent: Wednesday, April 26, 2006

7:57 AM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: Re:

Stranger Danger

~

My son is now 14, and I always say he would be the first

person to help a stranger find a " lost dog " . Funny, he also is

obsessed with those flyers......last fall, we got him one of those remote

control cars, and typical Aspie, a kid from the neighborhood wanted to

see it, so in a panic state he informs me he will show it to him. My parting

words, " don't leave the driveway " , while working in my home office,

1/2 hour later, can't find Kenny.......get in the car, he is 1/2 across the

neighborhood, IN SOMEONE'S HOUSE THAT I DON'T KNOW!!!!! So, the cord has been

re-attached. For the flyers, Kenny has found about 6 lost dogs, a nice little

income. We have reached an agreement, if we see a flyer, we will case the

streets for 10 minutes, if we don't find the animal, " it has found it's

way home and the owners simply didn't take the signs down " . We still

enforce daily the stranger danger, that with a prayer & fingers crossed.

You can check with your local humane society and find out about volunteer work,

it helps them help the animals. Good luck! ~

Stranger Danger

My 9yr old daughter absolutely loves animals. Especially cats &

dogs.

She really gets upset when she sees flyers posted for lost pets. I am

really concerned about if a stranger asks her to help him find a lost

pet & actually intends on something worse. I have tried to explain

this to her but I don't think she understands. Any thoughts on how you

explain this topic to a child with mild Aspergers?

Thank You,

E.

Colorado

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Charlotte, that's great!

Stranger Danger

My 9yr old daughter absolutely loves animals. Especially cats & dogs.She really gets upset when she sees flyers posted for lost pets. I amreally concerned about if a stranger asks her to help him find a lostpet & actually intends on something worse. I have tried to explainthis to her but I don't think she understands. Any thoughts on how youexplain this topic to a child with mild Aspergers?Thank You, E.Colorado

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Thanks I am pretty proud of him!

-Charlotte

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of Bernstein

Sent: Wednesday, April 26, 2006

9:21 AM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: Re:

Stranger Danger

Charlotte, that's

great!

Stranger Danger

My 9yr old daughter

absolutely loves animals. Especially cats & dogs.

She really gets upset when she sees flyers posted for lost pets. I am

really concerned about if a stranger asks her to help him find a lost

pet & actually intends on something worse. I have tried to explain

this to her but I don't think she understands. Any thoughts on how you

explain this topic to a child with mild Aspergers?

Thank You,

E.

Colorado

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Thank you to everyone for your input!! These are all

great ideas.

E.

Colorado

" Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops. "

Cary Grant

__________________________________________________

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Tracey,

I finally just said the exact same thing to my

daughter yesterday!!! I was running out of ideas on

how to explain things.

E.

Colorado

--- " Tracey Demmon, Audiologist "

<SHI-Tracey@...> wrote:

> I had the very same concern about our son. I

> explained to him that if a grownup EVER asks a child

> for help for ANYTHING, the grown-up is up to no good

> and means harm. Grown-ups ALWAYS ask other adults

> for help, not children.

" Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops. "

Cary Grant

__________________________________________________

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My wife and I recently finalized the adoption of our 10 yo HFA foster son. Stranger safety has been one of our biggest concerns, as he would go right up to total strangers and begin conversations with them. It was not only a dangerous thing to do, but his conversations always included questions about some pretty private stuff, like "Is your grandmother dead; how did she die ?"

We found that our son learned best if we role played. Not only does he take this acting routine very seriously, he enjoys it and is always asking for more.

We also found a video called, "The Safe Side" with , and Walsh. He watches this video over and over again, and again, he has taken what it teaches very seriously. Now when we go to the store, he points to people and asks us if they are safe, or if they are a stranger danger.

We just hope that our son will be able to generalize our efforts to the real situation - if it ever arises.

My 9yr old daughter absolutely loves animals. Especially cats & dogs.She really gets upset when she sees flyers posted for lost pets. I amreally concerned about if a stranger asks her to help him find a lostpet & actually intends on something worse. I have tried to explainthis to her but I don't think she understands. Any thoughts on how youexplain this topic to a child with mild Aspergers?Thank You, E.Colorado

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I worry about this also as my 9yr old Lucas still thinks if people

look nice,then they are nice.

I guess i could look positively at the fact that he is bussed to

school and other than that he never leaves the house. He has no

friends and is becoming paranoid. He's definately a mama's boy,

wich is ok with me, somewhat. He won't even play in front of the

house alone for more than a few minutes, and I have to wait for the

bus with him outside. Wich is right at our door. i can't watch

from the window.

Last year he had 2friends and once I found him at the park playing

with kids. He thought it was ok as he asked his friends parents, or

thats how he understood it. And he waved to Grandpa walking through

park. Of course grandpa didn't know i was insane looking for him.

one neighbors kid I'm glad he doesn't hang with as Lucas was with

him and a gang of kids ruined this other boys bike. Of course this

is inexcusable but this child unfortanately doesn't know when to

shut his mouth and always gets in troble (minor at this point). My

son doesn't know how to talk himself out of situations with other

kids.

dandyliondawn

> >Any thoughts on how you explain this topic to a child with mild

> Aspergers? <

>

> GREAT question!!!

> We've been struggling with the same issue.

>

> " But Dad, I told him my name and he told me his name.

> He's not a stranger anymore! " *

>

> Here are my thoughts:

>

> " My dear child. You are never to get into a car or go for a walk

> or bike ride with someone with out my permission. Even if you

> know them! If someone needs your help, you are to come straight

> home and get me or Dad. We will check it out together. "

>

> Modify it to your childs abilities: Fewer words? Key words?

> Pictures Cards? Picture stories? Coloring books? Roll play?

> What if? What do you think (favorite cartoon character) would do?

>

> What ever plan you develop - practice it, reherse it many times.

> Get a neighbor to help practice it outside in the " real arena "

> (back yard, front yard, down the street, at the playground,

> on the route to & from school, where ever your child plays)

> so the child gets comfortable with it.

>

> -Invite neighborhood families to participate in a neighborhood

> " SUMMER SAFETY FUN AFTERNOON " in your back yard.

> -Ask community leaders to sponsor a " CHILD SUMMER SAFETY FAIR "

> some Saturday morning.

> -Ask at school how they teach about such issues.

> -Ask at the police station or about their community education

> programs on this subject.

>

> How can a child tell if someone is a stranger? *(note my first

quote)

> How can you tell if a neighbor of many years is a child preditor?

> How can you tell if a scout leader, church leader, park ranger, or

> a parent of another Aspie hiding behind the anonymity of a

> computer screen is not a child preditor?

> What to do about an ex spouse, baby sitter, family member who...?

>

> Answer: Can't!

> Don't try to teach 'person identity' but, teach the life skills of

> how to handle situations.

>

> That's my nickles worth,

>

> Tim Affholter

> Thian's Dad

> Detroit

>

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  • 1 month later...
Guest guest

Hi,

I am new to the group. I have a 12 yro son with high-functioning

autism. He is a good kid, but I had a scary situation happen and I am

looking for advice or if anyone else has dealt with this.

We were leaving the movie theatre and he asked for cards from the

vending machine. I gave him some money and sent him with his brother

(younger,nt). I was a few feet away but I heard an older more scruffy

looking man start talking to them. He asked Nick (12 yro asd) what

cards he got. My younger son started looking concerned and started to

walk away, Nick started talking to him. He has been told by so many

how to be socially apropiriate that no-one ever taught stranger

danger. I grabbed him and practically ran out of the theatre! After a

long talk, he got some of it, but not all of it.

AAAHHHH!

Any ideas or similar experiences?

Thanks,

Crystal

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Hello, I haven't had an experience like this because my son does not really pay any attention to people he does not know. If a stranger tries to talk to him he just looks at them and puts his fingers into his ears as if to say I don't want to hear you. I suggest you try to get him to grasp the concept of who is a stranger and who is not. I know this will probably difficult but take your time and be very careful in public places because he may become afraid of everyone.

Hope StudentPineville, Louisianamsyogi@...

stranger danger

Hi,I am new to the group. I have a 12 yro son with high-functioning autism. He is a good kid, but I had a scary situation happen and I am looking for advice or if anyone else has dealt with this. We were leaving the movie theatre and he asked for cards from the vending machine. I gave him some money and sent him with his brother(younger,nt). I was a few feet away but I heard an older more scruffy looking man start talking to them. He asked Nick (12 yro asd) what cards he got. My younger son started looking concerned and started to walk away, Nick started talking to him. He has been told by so many how to be socially apropiriate that no-one ever taught stranger danger. I grabbed him and practically ran out of the theatre! After a long talk, he got some of it, but not all of it. AAAHHHH!Any ideas or similar experiences?Thanks,Crystal

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Guest guest

-------Original Message-------

From: Hawkins

Date: 06/19/06 12:05:23

Stranger Danger is a hard concept to teach even to NT kids.

Predators are very skillful at getting a child's attention.

Do you remember reading or hearing on the news about a man who got two teens

to rob banks for him?

It's scary.

Chelly

***********************

I am reluctant top say this because of what it implies, but if we teach our

kids to avoid strangers we are helping them avoid approximately 5% of abuse

- the rest is inflicted by family members or people known to the child.

Perhaps we *also* need to teach our kids to say " NO " to things they know are

wrong, and to seek help if abused in any way, even if it is by their family.

Putting all our effort into warning about strangers is not enough.

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