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Debs, Sorry your banging your head against the wall, I have been

there. We still have not found the right councilor. The last lady said

although my son meets the clinically significant diagnosis of Asperger’s

Syndrome he “seems more animated and socially engaged” than is “typically found

in the Asperger’s population” So she did not believe the diagnosis.

It was very frustrating! Luckily I already had the MD from his

Psychiatrist. Hang in there it is SO frustrating. I hope this web site helps.

-Charlotte

Behavior Management Strategies for

Teaching Children with Asperger's Syndrome

http://www.geocities.com/su_girl_2000/Behavior_Management_Strategies.html

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Hang in there....... I know you are frustrated..... The tv and video games thing is especially hard since these kids have no friends usually so they turn to these things to keep themselves occupied..... Books and games can only go so far... And no matter how much a parent wants to be plugged into their child and keep him occupied sometimes real life gets in the way in the form of other children, chores, jobs, or everyday life........ We cannot always be in the same room with our child ready to intervene..... Life prevents this..... and its not good for the child or the parent anyways... Though I am a big believer in limiting tv and video games I also dont believe in taking away one of the few things my child has.... Limit??? yes absolutely.... Take away completely?????? no..... not unless he does something to merit such an action..... Give this counselor guy one more shot to see how it goes....... If he still isnt up to snuff, can him.... KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD

FIGHT!!!!!!! good luck...

in Lancaster, CaBarry Hitchcock <bazndeb@...> wrote:

OMG…I have had the longest day! I decided that I could do no good at the school. To no end I have “advocated” against consequences such as the nose to the wall but each time I come up at a dead end street. Just more arguments, remember I have no support, I am one person. Instead what I did do is this….

I have called the Board of Education; I decided to go over their heads. It worked for the most part; I was successful in having them remove the BMP all together at least temporarily. I have told him I had spoken to a doctor, in reaction to their behavior plans it has caused anxiety and frustration and that this was not the answer to this problem. They were making things worse by doing this. I reminded him of the many attempts in our long IEP discussing about these negative consequences. Naturally as I suspected he said “My teachers will be asking what to do in to place, what should we do instead” I really didn’t know how to answer. I just said, I don’t know either and that we were scheduled for an appointment with a doctor today to help us decide just that. But on the contrary I explained it is our first meeting and this will take time. That IM sure he knew how those

first appointments with doctors go, they gather info and thereafter will contemplate action. I know everyone else tells me this is NOT my place to come up with plans or what to do, but if I left in their shoes they would have my son behind the shed beating him??? Maybe they think they can “whip” him into shape because after all he is highly IQ’d and there is no reason for his behavior. So I know it’s important for me to come up with my own BMP. I will be taking advice from this doctor, sorry…not a doc is a counselor (LPC).

This specific counselor was referred to me by my SEAC (Advocate). The reason being he is adverse in maintaining good family support/trainee for home and helps write and implement plans for and at the school, will go with you to meetings etc.

I called him for advice this morning, still as a stranger, we have not ever had seen him before. Due to the current situation, I have going on, he moved our appointment up to be seen right away. Our appointment was scheduled for the following day (Tuesday).

I told the Board of special Ed director that we would be back in touch as soon as I talked to this counselor today.

I came back from the new counselor’s office disappointed, confused and anguished. I had such high hopes thinking this is exactly what we had needed, why haven’t I found him until now? With all my research I have going on…how did he slip us by?

As I am there of course he takes notes, ask questions. Basically this counselor began to dought my son’s diagnosis. Began to speak about what we do as parents at home is the best medicine anyone can do. I spoke about how the teachers mis understand my son due to his high IQ, that my son is refusing to do his work at school, because he doesn’t want to, bored. I added the teachers need more understanding and fewer consequences. That I believed it was highly confusing for them and that my son needed to be taught things differently, different approach. The counselor’s comments were, did you know that his brain can be hard wired back to thinking this way? OR how I wish it to be? This was stemmed from the comment I had made such as, His brain is “hard wired” differently than ours, needs to be taught differently.

I went on to tell him as he asked specific questions…when I came to the part my son loved TV, Video games and computers he made the comment on how much that is filtering his head full of junk. I said, he doesn’t have much joy in his life and this is the only thing that does it for him. All day long, most of the evening he is being told NO NO and NO. I said I have tried limiting/taking away these things but it doesn’t always work. Mom, IM bored….mom..mom …mom…mom!!!

Meds he agreed with that he said we firstly had to start from scratch, would send me to a different doctor to be re-evaluated, that he believed we had the wrong diagnosis. Or…actually he said…he is second guessing it.

Asked me what and how long I take away his games, tv…that he needed to be “unplugged”. I don’t know what to think about all this…all the comments weren’t this bad, some made sense but this is SO NOT what I needed to hear….Now WHAT??? Drop him? Go to the next one…where is the next one? Who… where and in the meantime…I need support to help me with school to help me come up with BMP, what to do about current situation. They made me a doctor’s appointment with a doctor he wanted us to see next week. Then they said..for starters he would give me a parent handbook to take home to read. That meds sounded like we needed them, sounds as if he thinks my son is just ADHD. But needless to say whatever he has…he believes it can be controlled at home with help of the right med. He also asked if my son ever had a TOVA test…wants me to bring it to him, wants to see it.

That was long ago…in the days of our early dx of ADHD. AAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! My friend says…toss him out the window!

I get home to another counselor at my home, this guy works with MR kids, my son doesn’t qualify but he is dedicated in trying to get this community, county and a few others that surround us to figure out where the help is. We spoke at length; he brought me literature and a “parent’s phone book” for resources that he thought of places I haven’t tried. This guy spent hours and days researching the same as I do. He knows the situation sees how conflicting, complex with no support in our area and has witnessed as of today, how confusing it is for me. Unfortunately, he can’t work with us, but promises to try and keep us up to date on current info as he gets it and is pushing for it.

I hope this made sense…IM pooped…to much research for me in one day.

Xoxo, thx !

-----Original Message-----From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of BernsteinSent: Monday, September 26, 2005 9:21 PMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: People

leaving

Debs...............any progress today? Did you give it to them?!?!?!? Started work today, I'll call you when I have a chance.....oxoxoxxo-

RE: People leaving

Yeah…now just what to do about it. I dread Monday!!!

Deb’s

-----Original Message-----From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of CharlotteSent: Saturday, September 24, 2005 9:08 AMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: RE: People leaving

2) nose to the wall for three minutes when all else fails:

*************Debs, I have NEVER heard of a school doing anything like this EVER!

I am SO sorry!-Charlotte

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Thank you Charlotte. I have book marked the

page. I hope to sort through it very soon. As of now, I have tons to do. I am rounding

up a coalition of other mothers going through the same thing in our area. We

are in the process of coming up with a meeting for a potential High Functioning

school here in our area. My friend and I are working towards getting potential interested

parties to help us form one. We will grab our local community’s attention

by a newspaper article.

IM not thrilled to have so much work on my

plate, with the current situations going on at the school. I am looking at it

this way, I need to dedicate my time either here at this school and help place

what is in need or dedicate myself to something that will help ALL kids in the

same situation. I am finding medically, academically it is not possible, IM out

of resources and options. If I continue to shuffle my way and advocate through

the school system I am in fear my son will be “left behind” he

needs what he needs NOW! I don’t see this happening at this school

currently but I need to maintain my coolness. We will probably need their help

or the school will probably need our help once we finally get this moving. Our

plans are to help and seek help for all involved and that does include our schools

here.

We already have interested parties and

plan in trying to get grants and professionals to either help in one way or

another. Sounds like a plan huh? We don’t have much of a choice.

Deb’s J

RE:

, Progress? Charlotte,

Debs, Sorry your banging your head against the wall, I

have been there. We still have not found the right councilor. The

last lady said although my son meets the clinically significant diagnosis of

Asperger’s Syndrome he “seems more animated and socially

engaged” than is “typically found in the Asperger’s

population” So she did not believe the diagnosis.

It was very frustrating! Luckily I already had

the MD from his Psychiatrist. Hang in there it is SO frustrating. I

hope this web site helps.

-Charlotte

Behavior

Management Strategies for Teaching Children with Asperger's Syndrome

http://www.geocities.com/su_girl_2000/Behavior_Management_Strategies.html

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I hope I’m not repeating myself here…if

I am I apologize, I don’t mean too. TV, video games, pc is something I

see my son enjoying. The only thing he has left to enjoy. It makes me happy to

see he is enjoying himself. I hear things about what he says his friends have

said he doesn’t have many if any at all.

Now to try and limit these things have

been very tough because when he isn’t playing he is quickly bored and

repeating this to me every mint. He isn’t playing. Also, I feel as if I

need to replace this with something else, there is nothing that I can find that

lives up to it’s potential/effect it has on him. Since he is not interested

in riding a bike, we don’t live in a neighborhood…what can he do…what

will he do? He loves to read…but there is just so much reading he can

handle. Again if he isn’t interested in whatever it is that needs to be

done, hang it up! Just like doing his homework or class work….I know he

has to do these things but my god what is it going to take to get him to do so?

Anxiety has set in…schools fault completely, I don’t know. What to

do…I don’t know. At home, his homework, as soon as the school found

out I wanted the BMP dropped, they sent home LOADS of homework, for a

punishment for me and him? Homework from Hell!! No fair, he started ripping the

pages with his pencil. I got so frustrated myself, I thought this is NOT worth

it. Forget it…IM not going to make him finish this, in the first place if

they hadn’t gone there with the NOSE to the wall thing, maybe homework

wouldn’t be as hard.

EEkkkk

Deb’s J

Re:

People leaving

Debs...............any progress

today? Did you give it to them?!?!?!? Started work today, I'll call you when I

have a chance.....oxoxoxxo-

RE:

People leaving

2) nose

to the wall for three minutes when all else fails:

*************Debs,

I have NEVER heard of a school doing anything like this EVER!

I am SO

sorry!

-Charlotte

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My sons neuropsych actually wrote that “he

turns to fantasy (TV and videos) because they are a non judgmental safe place”

and easier to deal with than the real world.

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of M Strahlendorf

Sent: Tuesday, September 27, 2005

5:29 PM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: Re:

, Progress? Charlotte,

Hang in there....... I know you are frustrated..... The tv and video

games thing is especially hard since these kids have no friends usually so they

turn to these things to keep themselves occupied..... Books and games can only

go so far... And no matter how much a parent wants to be plugged into

their child and keep him occupied sometimes real life gets in the way in the

form of other children, chores, jobs, or everyday life........ We cannot always

be in the same room with our child ready to intervene..... Life prevents

this..... and its not good for the child or the parent anyways... Though I am a

big believer in limiting tv and video games I also dont believe in taking away

one of the few things my child has.... Limit??? yes absolutely.... Take away

completely?????? no..... not unless he does something to merit such an

action..... Give this counselor guy one more shot to see how it

goes....... If he still isnt up to snuff, can him.... KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD

FIGHT!!!!!!! good luck...

in Lancaster, Ca

Barry Hitchcock

<bazndeb@...> wrote:

OMG…I have had the longest day! I

decided that I could do no good at the school. To no end I have

“advocated” against consequences such as the nose to the wall but

each time I come up at a dead end street. Just more arguments, remember I have

no support, I am one person. Instead what I did do is this….

I have called the Board of Education; I

decided to go over their heads. It worked for the most part; I was successful

in having them remove the BMP all together at least temporarily. I have told

him I had spoken to a doctor, in reaction to their behavior plans it has caused

anxiety and frustration and that this was not the answer to this problem. They

were making things worse by doing this. I reminded him of the many attempts in

our long IEP discussing about these negative consequences. Naturally as I

suspected he said “My teachers will be asking what to do in to place,

what should we do instead” I really didn’t know how to answer. I

just said, I don’t know either and that we were scheduled for an

appointment with a doctor today to help us decide just that. But on the

contrary I explained it is our first meeting and this will take time. That IM

sure he knew how those first appointments with doctors go, they gather info and

thereafter will contemplate action. I know everyone else tells me this is NOT

my place to come up with plans or what to do, but if I left in their shoes they

would have my son behind the shed beating him??? Maybe they think they can

“whip” him into shape because after all he is highly IQ’d and

there is no reason for his behavior. So I know it’s important for me to

come up with my own BMP. I will be taking advice from this doctor,

sorry…not a doc is a counselor (LPC).

This specific counselor was referred to me

by my SEAC (Advocate). The reason being he is adverse in maintaining good

family support/trainee for home and helps write and implement plans for and at

the school, will go with you to meetings etc.

I called him for advice this

morning, still as a stranger, we have not ever had seen him before. Due to the

current situation, I have going on, he moved our appointment up to be seen

right away. Our appointment was scheduled for the following day (Tuesday).

I told the Board of special Ed director

that we would be back in touch as soon as I talked to this counselor today.

I came back from the new counselor’s

office disappointed, confused and anguished. I had such high hopes

thinking this is exactly what we had needed, why haven’t I found him

until now? With all my research I have going on…how did he slip us by?

As I am there of course he takes notes,

ask questions. Basically this counselor began to dought my son’s

diagnosis. Began to speak about what we do as parents at home is the best

medicine anyone can do. I spoke about how the teachers mis understand my son

due to his high IQ, that my son is refusing to do his work at school, because

he doesn’t want to, bored. I added the teachers need more understanding

and fewer consequences. That I believed it was highly confusing for them and

that my son needed to be taught things differently, different approach. The

counselor’s comments were, did you know that his brain can be hard wired

back to thinking this way? OR how I wish it to be? This was stemmed from the

comment I had made such as, His brain is “hard wired” differently

than ours, needs to be taught differently.

I went on to tell him as he asked specific

questions…when I came to the part my son loved TV, Video games and

computers he made the comment on how much that is filtering his head full of

junk. I said, he doesn’t have much joy in his life and this is the only

thing that does it for him. All day long, most of the evening he is being told

NO NO and NO. I said I have tried limiting/taking away these things but it

doesn’t always work. Mom, IM bored….mom..mom

…mom…mom!!!

Meds he agreed with that he said we

firstly had to start from scratch, would send me to a different doctor to be

re-evaluated, that he believed we had the wrong diagnosis. Or…actually he

said…he is second guessing it.

Asked me what and how long I take away his

games, tv…that he needed to be “unplugged”. I don’t

know what to think about all this…all the comments weren’t this

bad, some made sense but this is SO NOT what I needed to hear….Now

WHAT??? Drop him? Go to the next one…where is the next one? Who…

where and in the meantime…I need support to help me with school to help

me come up with BMP, what to do about current situation. They made me a

doctor’s appointment with a doctor he wanted us to see next week. Then

they said..for starters he would give me a parent handbook to take home to

read. That meds sounded like we needed them, sounds as if he thinks

my son is just ADHD. But needless to say whatever he has…he believes it

can be controlled at home with help of the right med. He also asked if my son

ever had a TOVA test…wants me to bring it to him, wants to see it. That

was long ago…in the days of our early dx of ADHD.

AAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! My friend says…toss him out the window!

I get home to another counselor at my

home, this guy works with MR kids, my son doesn’t qualify but he is

dedicated in trying to get this community, county and a few others that

surround us to figure out where the help is. We spoke at length; he brought me

literature and a “parent’s phone book” for resources that he

thought of places I haven’t tried. This guy spent hours and days

researching the same as I do. He knows the situation sees how conflicting,

complex with no support in our area and has witnessed as of today, how

confusing it is for me. Unfortunately, he can’t work with us, but promises

to try and keep us up to date on current info as he gets it and is pushing for

it.

I hope this made sense…IM

pooped…to much research for me in one day.

Xoxo, thx !

Re:

People leaving

Debs...............any progress

today? Did you give it to them?!?!?!? Started work today, I'll call you when I

have a chance.....oxoxoxxo-

RE:

People leaving

2) nose

to the wall for three minutes when all else fails:

*************Debs,

I have NEVER heard of a school doing anything like this EVER!

I am SO

sorry!

-Charlotte

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I'm experiencing pretty much the same thing with our ASD adoptive 9 year old son. It has been hard to find things besides the "screen" I hear him sitting down there laughing and giggling like a 3 year old - having a great time, but I know that so much screen time is robbing him of other opportunities to develop. If I stay with him one on one, we can come up with some pretty good stuff to do, but I can't be with him all day. We set up a token reward system which he likes a lot, and it really motivates him to be able to trade accomplishment for screen time. I still find myself being perhaps overly generous with my rewards. As for homework? I had to go to the teacher and ask her to give us some. He's in the 4th grade in special ed, and they hadn't planned on giving him any.

RE: People leaving

Yeah…now just what to do about it. I dread Monday!!!

Deb’s

-----Original Message-----From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of CharlotteSent: Saturday, September 24, 2005 9:08 AMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: RE: People leaving

2) nose to the wall for three minutes when all else fails:

*************Debs, I have NEVER heard of a school doing anything like this EVER!

I am SO sorry!-Charlotte

--No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 - Release Date: 9/23/2005

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I know what you mean...... I agree......... Its tough....... It would be different if we had neighborhood children knocking on our door and asking Warren to play but we dont so he turns to his video games.......

in Lancaster, CaBarry Hitchcock <bazndeb@...> wrote:

I hope I’m not repeating myself here…if I am I apologize, I don’t mean too. TV, video games, pc is something I see my son enjoying. The only thing he has left to enjoy. It makes me happy to see he is enjoying himself. I hear things about what he says his friends have said he doesn’t have many if any at all.

Now to try and limit these things have been very tough because when he isn’t playing he is quickly bored and repeating this to me every mint. He isn’t playing. Also, I feel as if I need to replace this with something else, there is nothing that I can find that lives up to it’s potential/effect it has on him. Since he is not interested in riding a bike, we don’t live in a neighborhood…what can he do…what will he do? He loves to read…but there is just so much reading he can handle. Again if he isn’t interested in whatever it is that needs to be done, hang it up! Just like doing his homework or class work….I know he has to do these things but my god what is it going to take to get him to do so? Anxiety has set in…schools fault completely, I don’t know. What to do…I don’t know. At home, his homework, as soon as the school found out I wanted the BMP dropped, they sent home

LOADS of homework, for a punishment for me and him? Homework from Hell!! No fair, he started ripping the pages with his pencil. I got so frustrated myself, I thought this is NOT worth it. Forget it…IM not going to make him finish this, in the first place if they hadn’t gone there with the NOSE to the wall thing, maybe homework wouldn’t be as hard.

EEkkkk

Deb’s J

-----Original Message-----From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of M StrahlendorfSent: Tuesday, September 27, 2005 4:29 PMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: , Progress? Charlotte,

Hang in there....... I know you are frustrated..... The tv and video games thing is especially hard since these kids have no friends usually so they turn to these things to keep themselves occupied..... Books and games can only go so far... And no matter how much a parent wants to be plugged into their child and keep him occupied sometimes real life gets in the way in the form of other children, chores, jobs, or everyday life........ We cannot always be in the same room with our child ready to intervene..... Life prevents this..... and its not good for the child or the parent anyways... Though I am a big believer in limiting tv and video games I also dont believe in taking away one of the few things my child has.... Limit??? yes absolutely.... Take away completely?????? no..... not unless he does something to merit such an action..... Give this counselor guy one

more shot to see how it goes....... If he still isnt up to snuff, can him.... KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT!!!!!!! good luck...

in Lancaster, CaBarry Hitchcock <bazndeb@...> wrote:

OMG…I have had the longest day! I decided that I could do no good at the school. To no end I have “advocated” against consequences such as the nose to the wall but each time I come up at a dead end street. Just more arguments, remember I have no support, I am one person. Instead what I did do is this….

I have called the Board of Education; I decided to go over their heads. It worked for the most part; I was successful in having them remove the BMP all together at least temporarily. I have told him I had spoken to a doctor, in reaction to their behavior plans it has caused anxiety and frustration and that this was not the answer to this problem. They were making things worse by doing this. I reminded him of the many attempts in our long IEP discussing about these negative consequences. Naturally as I suspected he said “My teachers will be asking what to do in to place, what should we do instead” I really didn’t know how to answer. I just said, I don’t know either and that we were scheduled for an appointment with a doctor today to help us decide just that. But on the contrary I explained it is our first meeting and this will take time. That

IM sure he knew how those first appointments with doctors go, they gather info and thereafter will contemplate action. I know everyone else tells me this is NOT my place to come up with plans or what to do, but if I left in their shoes they would have my son behind the shed beating him??? Maybe they think they can “whip” him into shape because after all he is highly IQ’d and there is no reason for his behavior. So I know it’s important for me to come up with my own BMP. I will be taking advice from this doctor, sorry…not a doc is a counselor (LPC).

This specific counselor was referred to me by my SEAC (Advocate). The reason being he is adverse in maintaining good family support/trainee for home and helps write and implement plans for and at the school, will go with you to meetings etc.

I called him for advice this morning, still as a stranger, we have not ever had seen him before. Due to the current situation, I have going on, he moved our appointment up to be seen right away. Our appointment was scheduled for the following day (Tuesday).

I told the Board of special Ed director that we would be back in touch as soon as I talked to this counselor today.

I came back from the new counselor’s office disappointed, confused and anguished. I had such high hopes thinking this is exactly what we had needed, why haven’t I found him until now? With all my research I have going on…how did he slip us by?

As I am there of course he takes notes, ask questions. Basically this counselor began to dought my son’s diagnosis. Began to speak about what we do as parents at home is the best medicine anyone can do. I spoke about how the teachers mis understand my son due to his high IQ, that my son is refusing to do his work at school, because he doesn’t want to, bored. I added the teachers need more understanding and fewer consequences. That I believed it was highly confusing for them and that my son needed to be taught things differently, different approach. The counselor’s comments were, did you know that his brain can be hard wired back to thinking this way? OR how I wish it to be? This was stemmed from the comment I had made such as, His brain is “hard wired” differently than ours, needs to be taught differently.

I went on to tell him as he asked specific questions…when I came to the part my son loved TV, Video games and computers he made the comment on how much that is filtering his head full of junk. I said, he doesn’t have much joy in his life and this is the only thing that does it for him. All day long, most of the evening he is being told NO NO and NO. I said I have tried limiting/taking away these things but it doesn’t always work. Mom, IM bored….mom..mom …mom…mom!!!

Meds he agreed with that he said we firstly had to start from scratch, would send me to a different doctor to be re-evaluated, that he believed we had the wrong diagnosis. Or…actually he said…he is second guessing it.

Asked me what and how long I take away his games, tv…that he needed to be “unplugged”. I don’t know what to think about all this…all the comments weren’t this bad, some made sense but this is SO NOT what I needed to hear….Now WHAT??? Drop him? Go to the next one…where is the next one? Who… where and in the meantime…I need support to help me with school to help me come up with BMP, what to do about current situation. They made me a doctor’s appointment with a doctor he wanted us to see next week. Then they said..for starters he would give me a parent handbook to take home to read. That meds sounded like we needed them, sounds as if he thinks my son is just ADHD. But needless to say whatever he has…he believes it can be controlled at home with help of the right med. He also asked if my son ever had a TOVA test…wants me to bring it

to him, wants to see it. That was long ago…in the days of our early dx of ADHD. AAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! My friend says…toss him out the window!

I get home to another counselor at my home, this guy works with MR kids, my son doesn’t qualify but he is dedicated in trying to get this community, county and a few others that surround us to figure out where the help is. We spoke at length; he brought me literature and a “parent’s phone book” for resources that he thought of places I haven’t tried. This guy spent hours and days researching the same as I do. He knows the situation sees how conflicting, complex with no support in our area and has witnessed as of today, how confusing it is for me. Unfortunately, he can’t work with us, but promises to try and keep us up to date on current info as he gets it and is pushing for it.

I hope this made sense…IM pooped…to much research for me in one day.

Xoxo, thx !

-----Original Message-----From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of BernsteinSent: Monday, September 26, 2005 9:21 PMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: People leaving

Debs...............any progress today? Did you give it to them?!?!?!? Started work today, I'll call you when I have a chance.....oxoxoxxo-

RE: People leaving

Yeah…now just what to do about it. I dread Monday!!!

Deb’s

-----Original Message-----From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of CharlotteSent: Saturday, September 24, 2005 9:08 AMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: RE: People leaving

2) nose to the wall for three minutes when all else fails:

*************Debs, I have NEVER heard of a school doing anything like this EVER!

I am SO sorry!-Charlotte

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I agree....... The only way I take my sons tv and games away is if he is really acting up... or refusing to do his work..... Other than that I dont...... He does have a few chores around the house so if he doesnt do them its a no go on the tv......

in Lancaster, CaCharlotte <scottdesigns@...> wrote:

My sons neuropsych actually wrote that “he turns to fantasy (TV and videos) because they are a non judgmental safe place” and easier to deal with than the real world.

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of M StrahlendorfSent: Tuesday, September 27, 2005 5:29 PMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: , Progress? Charlotte,

Hang in there....... I know you are frustrated..... The tv and video games thing is especially hard since these kids have no friends usually so they turn to these things to keep themselves occupied..... Books and games can only go so far... And no matter how much a parent wants to be plugged into their child and keep him occupied sometimes real life gets in the way in the form of other children, chores, jobs, or everyday life........ We cannot always be in the same room with our child ready to intervene..... Life prevents this..... and its not good for the child or the parent anyways... Though I am a big believer in limiting tv and video games I also dont believe in taking away one of the few things my child has.... Limit??? yes absolutely.... Take away completely?????? no..... not unless he does something to merit such an action..... Give this counselor guy one more shot to see how it

goes....... If he still isnt up to snuff, can him.... KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT!!!!!!! good luck...

in Lancaster, CaBarry Hitchcock <bazndeb@...> wrote:

OMG…I have had the longest day! I decided that I could do no good at the school. To no end I have “advocated” against consequences such as the nose to the wall but each time I come up at a dead end street. Just more arguments, remember I have no support, I am one person. Instead what I did do is this….

I have called the Board of Education; I decided to go over their heads. It worked for the most part; I was successful in having them remove the BMP all together at least temporarily. I have told him I had spoken to a doctor, in reaction to their behavior plans it has caused anxiety and frustration and that this was not the answer to this problem. They were making things worse by doing this. I reminded him of the many attempts in our long IEP discussing about these negative consequences. Naturally as I suspected he said “My teachers will be asking what to do in to place, what should we do instead” I really didn’t know how to answer. I just said, I don’t know either and that we were scheduled for an appointment with a doctor today to help us decide just that. But on the contrary I explained it is our first meeting and this will take time. That IM sure he knew how those

first appointments with doctors go, they gather info and thereafter will contemplate action. I know everyone else tells me this is NOT my place to come up with plans or what to do, but if I left in their shoes they would have my son behind the shed beating him??? Maybe they think they can “whip” him into shape because after all he is highly IQ’d and there is no reason for his behavior. So I know it’s important for me to come up with my own BMP. I will be taking advice from this doctor, sorry…not a doc is a counselor (LPC).

This specific counselor was referred to me by my SEAC (Advocate). The reason being he is adverse in maintaining good family support/trainee for home and helps write and implement plans for and at the school, will go with you to meetings etc.

I called him for advice this morning, still as a stranger, we have not ever had seen him before. Due to the current situation, I have going on, he moved our appointment up to be seen right away. Our appointment was scheduled for the following day (Tuesday).

I told the Board of special Ed director that we would be back in touch as soon as I talked to this counselor today.

I came back from the new counselor’s office disappointed, confused and anguished. I had such high hopes thinking this is exactly what we had needed, why haven’t I found him until now? With all my research I have going on…how did he slip us by?

As I am there of course he takes notes, ask questions. Basically this counselor began to dought my son’s diagnosis. Began to speak about what we do as parents at home is the best medicine anyone can do. I spoke about how the teachers mis understand my son due to his high IQ, that my son is refusing to do his work at school, because he doesn’t want to, bored. I added the teachers need more understanding and fewer consequences. That I believed it was highly confusing for them and that my son needed to be taught things differently, different approach. The counselor’s comments were, did you know that his brain can be hard wired back to thinking this way? OR how I wish it to be? This was stemmed from the comment I had made such as, His brain is “hard wired” differently than ours, needs to be taught differently.

I went on to tell him as he asked specific questions…when I came to the part my son loved TV, Video games and computers he made the comment on how much that is filtering his head full of junk. I said, he doesn’t have much joy in his life and this is the only thing that does it for him. All day long, most of the evening he is being told NO NO and NO. I said I have tried limiting/taking away these things but it doesn’t always work. Mom, IM bored….mom..mom …mom…mom!!!

Meds he agreed with that he said we firstly had to start from scratch, would send me to a different doctor to be re-evaluated, that he believed we had the wrong diagnosis. Or…actually he said…he is second guessing it.

Asked me what and how long I take away his games, tv…that he needed to be “unplugged”. I don’t know what to think about all this…all the comments weren’t this bad, some made sense but this is SO NOT what I needed to hear….Now WHAT??? Drop him? Go to the next one…where is the next one? Who… where and in the meantime…I need support to help me with school to help me come up with BMP, what to do about current situation. They made me a doctor’s appointment with a doctor he wanted us to see next week. Then they said..for starters he would give me a parent handbook to take home to read. That meds sounded like we needed them, sounds as if he thinks my son is just ADHD. But needless to say whatever he has…he believes it can be controlled at home with help of the right med. He also asked if my son ever had a TOVA test…wants me to bring it to him, wants to see it.

That was long ago…in the days of our early dx of ADHD. AAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! My friend says…toss him out the window!

I get home to another counselor at my home, this guy works with MR kids, my son doesn’t qualify but he is dedicated in trying to get this community, county and a few others that surround us to figure out where the help is. We spoke at length; he brought me literature and a “parent’s phone book” for resources that he thought of places I haven’t tried. This guy spent hours and days researching the same as I do. He knows the situation sees how conflicting, complex with no support in our area and has witnessed as of today, how confusing it is for me. Unfortunately, he can’t work with us, but promises to try and keep us up to date on current info as he gets it and is pushing for it.

I hope this made sense…IM pooped…to much research for me in one day.

Xoxo, thx !

-----Original Message-----From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of BernsteinSent: Monday, September 26, 2005 9:21 PMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: People leaving

Debs...............any progress today? Did you give it to them?!?!?!? Started work today, I'll call you when I have a chance.....oxoxoxxo-

RE: People leaving

Yeah…now just what to do about it. I dread Monday!!!

Deb’s

-----Original Message-----From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of CharlotteSent: Saturday, September 24, 2005 9:08 AMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: RE: People leaving

2) nose to the wall for three minutes when all else fails:

*************Debs, I have NEVER heard of a school doing anything like this EVER!

I am SO sorry!-Charlotte

--No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 - Release Date: 9/23/2005

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Great Idea, I hope you have some success!

I was honestly thinking of doing the same thing here!!

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of Barry Hitchcock

Sent: Wednesday, September 28,

2005 1:32 AM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: RE:

, Progress? Charlotte,

Thank you Charlotte. I have book marked the page. I

hope to sort through it very soon. As of now, I have tons to do. I am rounding

up a coalition of other mothers going through the same thing in our area. We

are in the process of coming up with a meeting for a potential High Functioning

school here in our area. My friend and I are working towards getting potential

interested parties to help us form one. We will grab our local community’s

attention by a newspaper article.

IM not thrilled to have so much work on my

plate, with the current situations going on at the school. I am looking at it

this way, I need to dedicate my time either here at this school and help place

what is in need or dedicate myself to something that will help ALL kids in the

same situation. I am finding medically, academically it is not possible, IM out

of resources and options. If I continue to shuffle my way and advocate through

the school system I am in fear my son will be “left behind” he needs what he

needs NOW! I don’t see this happening at this school currently but I need to

maintain my coolness. We will probably need their help or the school will

probably need our help once we finally get this moving. Our plans are to

help and seek help for all involved and that does include our schools here.

We already have interested parties and

plan in trying to get grants and professionals to either help in one way or

another. Sounds like a plan huh? We don’t have much of a choice.

Deb’s J

RE:

, Progress? Charlotte,

Debs, Sorry your banging your head against the wall, I

have been there. We still have not found the right councilor. The

last lady said although my son meets the clinically significant diagnosis of

Asperger’s Syndrome he “seems more animated and socially engaged” than is

“typically found in the Asperger’s population” So she did not believe the

diagnosis.

It was very frustrating! Luckily I already had

the MD from his Psychiatrist. Hang in there it is SO frustrating. I

hope this web site helps.

-Charlotte

Behavior

Management Strategies for Teaching Children with Asperger's Syndrome

http://www.geocities.com/su_girl_2000/Behavior_Management_Strategies.html

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That is pretty much the way it goes here

too. Homework is FIRST here (if they actually send some home) but after that I

am fine with him spending some time in his fantasy land. Usually we have

errands or OT something that have to get done, so he really doesn’t get a

lot of it during the week

-Charlotte

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of M Strahlendorf

Sent: Wednesday, September 28,

2005 2:16 PM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: RE:

, Progress? Charlotte,

I agree....... The only way I take my sons tv and games away is

if he is really acting up... or refusing to do his work..... Other than that I

dont...... He does have a few chores around the house so if he doesnt do them

its a no go on the tv......

in Lancaster, Ca

Charlotte <scottdesigns@...>

wrote:

My sons neuropsych actually wrote that

“he turns to fantasy (TV and videos) because they are a non judgmental

safe place” and easier to deal with than the real world.

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment

[mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ]

On Behalf Of M Strahlendorf

Sent: Tuesday, September 27, 2005

5:29 PM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: Re:

, Progress? Charlotte,

Hang in there....... I know you are frustrated..... The tv and video

games thing is especially hard since these kids have no friends usually so they

turn to these things to keep themselves occupied..... Books and games can only

go so far... And no matter how much a parent wants to be plugged into

their child and keep him occupied sometimes real life gets in the way in the

form of other children, chores, jobs, or everyday life........ We cannot always

be in the same room with our child ready to intervene..... Life prevents

this..... and its not good for the child or the parent anyways... Though I am a

big believer in limiting tv and video games I also dont believe in taking away

one of the few things my child has.... Limit??? yes absolutely.... Take away completely??????

no..... not unless he does something to merit such an action..... Give

this counselor guy one more shot to see how it goes....... If he still isnt up

to snuff, can him.... KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT!!!!!!! good luck...

in Lancaster, Ca

Barry Hitchcock

<bazndeb@...> wrote:

OMG…I have had the longest day! I

decided that I could do no good at the school. To no end I have

“advocated” against consequences such as the nose to the wall but

each time I come up at a dead end street. Just more arguments, remember I have

no support, I am one person. Instead what I did do is this….

I have called the Board of Education; I

decided to go over their heads. It worked for the most part; I was successful

in having them remove the BMP all together at least temporarily. I have told

him I had spoken to a doctor, in reaction to their behavior plans it has caused

anxiety and frustration and that this was not the answer to this problem. They

were making things worse by doing this. I reminded him of the many attempts in

our long IEP discussing about these negative consequences. Naturally as I

suspected he said “My teachers will be asking what to do in to place,

what should we do instead” I really didn’t know how to answer. I

just said, I don’t know either and that we were scheduled for an

appointment with a doctor today to help us decide just that. But on the

contrary I explained it is our first meeting and this will take time. That IM

sure he knew how those first appointments with doctors go, they gather info and

thereafter will contemplate action. I know everyone else tells me this is NOT

my place to come up with plans or what to do, but if I left in their shoes they

would have my son behind the shed beating him??? Maybe they think they can

“whip” him into shape because after all he is highly IQ’d and

there is no reason for his behavior. So I know it’s important for me to

come up with my own BMP. I will be taking advice from this doctor,

sorry…not a doc is a counselor (LPC).

This specific counselor was referred to me

by my SEAC (Advocate). The reason being he is adverse in maintaining good

family support/trainee for home and helps write and implement plans for and at

the school, will go with you to meetings etc.

I called him for advice this

morning, still as a stranger, we have not ever had seen him before. Due to the

current situation, I have going on, he moved our appointment up to be seen

right away. Our appointment was scheduled for the following day (Tuesday).

I told the Board of special Ed director

that we would be back in touch as soon as I talked to this counselor today.

I came back from the new counselor’s

office disappointed, confused and anguished. I had such high hopes

thinking this is exactly what we had needed, why haven’t I found him until

now? With all my research I have going on…how did he slip us by?

As I am there of course he takes notes,

ask questions. Basically this counselor began to dought my son’s

diagnosis. Began to speak about what we do as parents at home is the best

medicine anyone can do. I spoke about how the teachers mis understand my son due

to his high IQ, that my son is refusing to do his work at school, because he

doesn’t want to, bored. I added the teachers need more understanding and

fewer consequences. That I believed it was highly confusing for them and that

my son needed to be taught things differently, different approach. The

counselor’s comments were, did you know that his brain can be hard wired

back to thinking this way? OR how I wish it to be? This was stemmed from the

comment I had made such as, His brain is “hard wired” differently

than ours, needs to be taught differently.

I went on to tell him as he asked specific

questions…when I came to the part my son loved TV, Video games and

computers he made the comment on how much that is filtering his head full of

junk. I said, he doesn’t have much joy in his life and this is the only

thing that does it for him. All day long, most of the evening he is being told

NO NO and NO. I said I have tried limiting/taking away these things but it

doesn’t always work. Mom, IM bored….mom..mom …mom…mom!!!

Meds he agreed with that he said we

firstly had to start from scratch, would send me to a different doctor to be

re-evaluated, that he believed we had the wrong diagnosis. Or…actually he

said…he is second guessing it.

Asked me what and how long I take away his

games, tv…that he needed to be “unplugged”. I don’t

know what to think about all this…all the comments weren’t this

bad, some made sense but this is SO NOT what I needed to hear….Now

WHAT??? Drop him? Go to the next one…where is the next one? Who…

where and in the meantime…I need support to help me with school to help

me come up with BMP, what to do about current situation. They made me a

doctor’s appointment with a doctor he wanted us to see next week. Then

they said..for starters he would give me a parent handbook to take home to

read. That meds sounded like we needed them, sounds as if he thinks

my son is just ADHD. But needless to say whatever he has…he believes it

can be controlled at home with help of the right med. He also asked if my son

ever had a TOVA test…wants me to bring it to him, wants to see it. That

was long ago…in the days of our early dx of ADHD.

AAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! My friend says…toss him out the window!

I get home to another counselor at my

home, this guy works with MR kids, my son doesn’t qualify but he is

dedicated in trying to get this community, county and a few others that

surround us to figure out where the help is. We spoke at length; he brought me

literature and a “parent’s phone book” for resources that he

thought of places I haven’t tried. This guy spent hours and days

researching the same as I do. He knows the situation sees how conflicting,

complex with no support in our area and has witnessed as of today, how

confusing it is for me. Unfortunately, he can’t work with us, but

promises to try and keep us up to date on current info as he gets it and is

pushing for it.

I hope this made sense…IM

pooped…to much research for me in one day.

Xoxo, thx !

Re:

People leaving

Debs...............any progress

today? Did you give it to them?!?!?!? Started work today, I'll call you when I

have a chance.....oxoxoxxo-

RE:

People leaving

2) nose

to the wall for three minutes when all else fails:

*************Debs,

I have NEVER heard of a school doing anything like this EVER!

I am SO

sorry!

-Charlotte

--

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Sometimes I'm ready to throw the computer out the window because

Lucas is obsessing with it. We have kids in the neighborhood that

are a year older but too advanced for Lucas. He has one friend that

he occassionally plays with. He rather play computer than

anything. I have hired a therapist so mayby she can get him

interested in something else.

dandyliondawn

>

>

> Debs...................drive him Monday, DEMAND his BIP be

revised, or he will not attend school, Call me if you need support.

>

>

> oxoxoxox

>

>

>

>

>

> PS, Charlotte, thank you for helping my friend. WE ALL NEED TO

STAND BEHIND DEBS, WE ALL HAVE BEEN THERE, IT'S HER TURN!!!!! We

need to start a " Mother's from H*** group " , anybody up for it?

>

>

> RE: People leaving

>

>

>

> 2) nose to the wall for three minutes when all else fails:

>

>

>

> *************Debs, I have NEVER heard of a school doing anything

like this EVER!

>

> I am SO sorry!

> -Charlotte

>

>

>

>

>

> --

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> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 - Release Date:

9/23/2005

>

>

>

> --

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> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 - Release Date:

9/23/2005

>

>

>

> --

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> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 - Release Date:

9/23/2005

>

>

>

> --

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> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 - Release Date:

9/23/2005

>

> __________________________________________________

>

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Speaking of that we had one kid do this

over the summer (knock on our door) and the kid although only 11 was bad news.

Unsupervised at home, been suspended for steeling in 5th grade, etc….SO

you can imagine HOW fun it was to tell my child the first time anyone ever

stopped by looking for HIM that he could not hang out with the kid.

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of M Strahlendorf

Sent: Wednesday, September 28,

2005 2:11 PM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: RE:

, Progress? Charlotte,

I know what you mean...... I agree......... Its tough....... It would

be different if we had neighborhood children knocking on our door and asking Warren to play but we

dont so he turns to his video games.......

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Hi Girls.......haven't had a chance to read the posts yet, will try to tonight, sorry!

RE: People leaving

Yeah…now just what to do about it. I dread Monday!!!

Deb’s

-----Original Message-----From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of CharlotteSent: Saturday, September 24, 2005 9:08 AMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: RE: People leaving

2) nose to the wall for three minutes when all else fails:

*************Debs, I have NEVER heard of a school doing anything like this EVER!

I am SO sorry!-Charlotte

--No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 - Release Date: 9/23/2005

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__________________________________________________

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That must have been tough........ Did your son get angry??????? Why is it that the bad ones always want to play???LOL....... I shouldnt say bad........ morally challenged is probably a better term right???? LOL

in Lancaster, CaCharlotte <scottdesigns@...> wrote:

Speaking of that we had one kid do this over the summer (knock on our door) and the kid although only 11 was bad news. Unsupervised at home, been suspended for steeling in 5th grade, etc….SO you can imagine HOW fun it was to tell my child the first time anyone ever stopped by looking for HIM that he could not hang out with the kid.

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of M StrahlendorfSent: Wednesday, September 28, 2005 2:11 PMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: RE: , Progress? Charlotte,

I know what you mean...... I agree......... Its tough....... It would be different if we had neighborhood children knocking on our door and asking Warren to play but we dont so he turns to his video games.......

for Good Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

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Aspergers Syndrome people will hyper-focus on things

like video games, computer, music....you can limit

thier use....but the hyper-focus will continue..until

the next facination comes along. Computer/PS2 is a

lifeline for my AS son.

Jen

--- dandyliondawn <ddoherty@...> wrote:

> Sometimes I'm ready to throw the computer out the

> window because

> Lucas is obsessing with it. We have kids in the

> neighborhood that

> are a year older but too advanced for Lucas. He has

> one friend that

> he occassionally plays with. He rather play

> computer than

> anything. I have hired a therapist so mayby she can

> get him

> interested in something else.

> dandyliondawn

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> >

> > Debs...................drive him Monday, DEMAND

> his BIP be

> revised, or he will not attend school, Call me if

> you need support.

> >

> >

> > oxoxoxox

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > PS, Charlotte, thank you for helping my friend. WE

> ALL NEED TO

> STAND BEHIND DEBS, WE ALL HAVE BEEN THERE, IT'S HER

> TURN!!!!! We

> need to start a " Mother's from H*** group " , anybody

> up for it?

> >

> >

> > RE: People leaving

> >

> >

> >

> > 2) nose to the wall for three minutes when all

> else fails:

> >

> >

> >

> > *************Debs, I have NEVER heard of a school

> doing anything

> like this EVER!

> >

> > I am SO sorry!

> > -Charlotte

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this incoming message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 -

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this outgoing message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 -

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this incoming message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 -

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this outgoing message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 -

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

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My son as well.......

in Lancaster, Ca Kernan <rainysnana@...> wrote:

Aspergers Syndrome people will hyper-focus on thingslike video games, computer, music....you can limitthier use....but the hyper-focus will continue..untilthe next facination comes along. Computer/PS2 is alifeline for my AS son.Jen--- dandyliondawn <ddoherty@...> wrote:> Sometimes I'm ready to throw the computer out the> window because > Lucas is obsessing with it. We have kids in the> neighborhood that > are a year older but too advanced for Lucas. He has> one friend that > he occassionally plays with. He rather play> computer than > anything. I have hired a therapist so mayby she can> get him > interested in something else.> dandyliondawn> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Debs...................drive him Monday, DEMAND> his BIP be > revised, or he will not attend school, Call me if> you need support.> > > > > > oxoxoxox> > > > > > > > > > > > PS, Charlotte, thank you for helping my friend. WE>

ALL NEED TO > STAND BEHIND DEBS, WE ALL HAVE BEEN THERE, IT'S HER> TURN!!!!! We > need to start a "Mother's from H*** group", anybody> up for it?> > > > > > RE: People leaving> > > > > > > > 2) nose to the wall for three minutes when all> else fails:> > > > > > > > *************Debs, I have NEVER heard of a school> doing anything > like this EVER!> > > > I am SO sorry!> > -Charlotte> > > > > > > > > > > > --> > No virus found in this incoming message.> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 -> Release Date: > 9/23/2005> > > > > > > > --> > No virus found in this outgoing message.> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database:

267.11.6/111 -> Release Date: > 9/23/2005> > > > > > > > --> > No virus found in this incoming message.> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 -> Release Date: > 9/23/2005> > > > > > > > --> > No virus found in this outgoing message.> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 -> Release Date: > 9/23/2005> > > > __________________________________________________> >

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Oh, he was FURIOUS!!  This kid had teased

my son SO bad at school every chance he got the whole beginning of the year,

but by the second half of the year the kid had alienated everyone else and

started trying to buddy up to my son.  My son, being as naïve and nice as he is

thought he was now his best friend.  I had to ask the school to do whatever

necessary to keep them apart as this child was SUCH a poor example.  I was

constantly afraid my son would be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time

and be totally CLUELESS if he got in trouble for being with this kid when he

did something wrong.  I actually caught this kid trying to jimmy my car door

open with a piece of wood in the school parking lot!!

This year this is one of my big “issues”

with the school.  There are many “”morally challenged” kids

in the program he’s in and I don’t want those to be the kids he

gravitates towards because of being around them all the time,

-Charlotte

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of M Strahlendorf

Sent: Thursday, September 29, 2005

1:26 PM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: RE:

, Progress? Charlotte,

That must have been tough........ Did your son get angry??????? Why is

it that the bad ones always want to play???LOL....... I shouldnt say bad........

morally challenged is probably a better term right???? LOL

in Lancaster, Ca

Charlotte <scottdesigns@...>

wrote:

Speaking of that we had one kid do this

over the summer (knock on our door) and the kid although only 11 was bad

news. Unsupervised at home, been suspended for steeling in 5th

grade, etc….SO you can imagine HOW fun it was to tell my child the first

time anyone ever stopped by looking for HIM that he could not hang out with the

kid.

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment

[mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ]

On Behalf Of M Strahlendorf

Sent: Wednesday, September 28,

2005 2:11 PM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: RE:

, Progress? Charlotte,

I know what you mean...... I agree......... Its tough....... It would

be different if we had neighborhood children knocking on our door and asking Warren

to play but we dont so he turns to his video games.......

for Good

Click here to donate to

the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

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Share on other sites

Oh My…Sorry I read the story wrong

before. Yeah that is difficult! Trying to jimmy your car door open? Man some

kids truly do have a lot of nerve!!!! I know what you mean, my son’s

school is crawling with them all over and he’s so desperate to find such

friendship. It’s a BIG worry. It breaks my heart I had just heard from

him when he was speaking about his friends that he “used” to have

when they would pay attention to him now he says they: “they look right

through me mom when IM talking, as if IM not even there”.

Deb’s

RE:

, Progress? Charlotte,

I know what you mean...... I agree......... Its

tough....... It would be different if we had neighborhood children knocking on

our door and asking Warren

to play but we dont so he turns to his video games.......

for Good

Click here to donate to

the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

--

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.7/112 - Release Date: 9/26/2005

--

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

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Mine too Jen. Just wished it wasn’t ALL

the time. I wished I could find something as equally valuable to him is all we

were talking about.

Deb’s

Re:

Re: , Progress? Charlotte,

Aspergers Syndrome people will hyper-focus on things

like video games, computer, music....you can limit

thier use....but the hyper-focus will

continue..until

the next facination comes along. Computer/PS2 is a

lifeline for my AS son.

Jen

--- dandyliondawn <ddoherty@...>

wrote:

> Sometimes I'm ready to throw the computer out

the

> window because

> Lucas is obsessing with it. We have

kids in the

> neighborhood that

> are a year older but too advanced for

Lucas. He has

> one friend that

> he occassionally plays with. He rather

play

> computer than

> anything. I have hired a therapist so

mayby she can

> get him

> interested in something else.

> dandyliondawn

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> >

> > Debs...................drive him Monday,

DEMAND

> his BIP be

> revised, or he will not attend school, Call

me if

> you need support.

> >

> >

> > oxoxoxox

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > PS, Charlotte, thank you for helping my

friend. WE

> ALL NEED TO

> STAND BEHIND DEBS, WE ALL HAVE BEEN THERE,

IT'S HER

> TURN!!!!! We

> need to start a " Mother's from H***

group " , anybody

> up for it?

> >

> >

> > RE: People

leaving

> >

> >

> >

> > 2) nose to the wall for three minutes

when all

> else fails:

> >

> >

> >

> > *************Debs, I have NEVER heard of

a school

> doing anything

> like this EVER!

> >

> > I am SO sorry!

> > -Charlotte

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this incoming message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database:

267.11.6/111 -

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this outgoing message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111

-

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this incoming message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database:

267.11.6/111 -

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this outgoing message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database:

267.11.6/111 -

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> >

__________________________________________________

> >

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That is hard! Once they get someone to

play with then you have to tell him, Uhm…you can’t play with him.

IF he is like my son he would be asking 1000x why mom…why? How do you say

this kid is bad or morally challenged? My son would go back and tell him

exactly what I said. Then there is real trouble. LOL

Deb’s in Bama

RE:

, Progress? Charlotte,

I know what you mean...... I agree......... Its

tough....... It would be different if we had neighborhood children knocking on

our door and asking Warren

to play but we dont so he turns to his video games.......

for Good

Click here to donate to

the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

--

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.7/112 - Release Date: 9/26/2005

--

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.7/112 - Release Date: 9/26/2005

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Lol…I am right there with you. My

son has found this German song and dance called the Numi Numi dance (not sure

if spelt right) OMG…he plays this thing over and over and dances in our

kitchen on pc. It drives me nuts!

Deb’s in Bama

Re:

, Progress? Charlotte,

Sometimes I'm ready to throw the computer out the

window because

Lucas is obsessing with it. We have kids in

the neighborhood that

are a year older but too advanced for Lucas.

He has one friend that

he occassionally plays with. He rather play

computer than

anything. I have hired a therapist so mayby

she can get him

interested in something else.

dandyliondawn

>

>

> Debs...................drive him Monday,

DEMAND his BIP be

revised, or he will not attend school, Call me if

you need support.

>

>

> oxoxoxox

>

>

>

>

>

> PS, Charlotte, thank you for helping my

friend. WE ALL NEED TO

STAND BEHIND DEBS, WE ALL HAVE BEEN THERE, IT'S

HER TURN!!!!! We

need to start a " Mother's from H***

group " , anybody up for it?

>

>

> RE: People

leaving

>

>

>

> 2) nose to the wall for three minutes when

all else fails:

>

>

>

> *************Debs, I have NEVER heard of a

school doing anything

like this EVER!

>

> I am SO sorry!

> -Charlotte

>

>

>

>

>

> --

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111

- Release Date:

9/23/2005

>

>

>

> --

> No virus found in this outgoing message.

> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database:

267.11.6/111 - Release Date:

9/23/2005

>

>

>

> --

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database:

267.11.6/111 - Release Date:

9/23/2005

>

>

>

> --

> No virus found in this outgoing message.

> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database:

267.11.6/111 - Release Date:

9/23/2005

>

>

__________________________________________________

>

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Share on other sites

It has taken YEARS but sometimes now I can

be honest without him going back and telling the kid. However, I have to be

VERY specific while telling him that he can NOT tell the child what I said

without hurting feelings. One problem I have run into though, is that I have

to make sure I include the parents in who “not to tell” !! We were in the

grocery store last week and I said hi to a set of parents of “one of these kids”

and without skipping a beat of waiting for them to leave my son said “mom, I

thought you did not like them” I thought I was going to DIE!

From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of Barry Hitchcock

Sent: Friday, September 30, 2005

7:08 PM

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: RE:

, Progress? Charlotte,

That is hard! Once they get someone to

play with then you have to tell him, Uhm…you can’t play with him. IF he is like

my son he would be asking 1000x why mom…why? How do you say this kid is bad or

morally challenged? My son would go back and tell him exactly what I said. Then

there is real trouble. LOL

Deb’s in Bama

RE:

, Progress? Charlotte,

I know what you mean...... I agree......... Its

tough....... It would be different if we had neighborhood children knocking on

our door and asking Warren to play but we

dont so he turns to his video games.......

for Good

Click here to donate to

the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

--

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.7/112 - Release Date: 9/26/2005

--

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.7/112 - Release Date: 9/26/2005

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Right now my son is really into the band 3DOORSDOWN but he plays one song called "Kryptonite" over and over again...... He puts his cd player on repeat so I have to hear it oh I dont know... about 30 times a day........ Gets a little aggravating.......LOL

in Lancaster, CaBarry Hitchcock <bazndeb@...> wrote:

Lol…I am right there with you. My son has found this German song and dance called the Numi Numi dance (not sure if spelt right) OMG…he plays this thing over and over and dances in our kitchen on pc. It drives me nuts!

Deb’s in Bama

-----Original Message-----From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of dandyliondawnSent: Thursday, September 29, 2005 7:30 AMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: , Progress? Charlotte,

Sometimes I'm ready to throw the computer out the window because Lucas is obsessing with it. We have kids in the neighborhood that are a year older but too advanced for Lucas. He has one friend that he occassionally plays with. He rather play computer than anything. I have hired a therapist so mayby she can get him interested in something else.dandyliondawn> > > Debs...................drive him Monday, DEMAND his BIP be revised, or he will not attend school, Call me if you need support.> > > oxoxoxox> > > > > > PS, Charlotte, thank you for helping my friend. WE ALL NEED TO STAND BEHIND DEBS, WE ALL HAVE BEEN THERE, IT'S HER TURN!!!!! We need to start a

"Mother's from H*** group", anybody up for it?> > > RE: People leaving> > > > 2) nose to the wall for three minutes when all else fails:> > > > *************Debs, I have NEVER heard of a school doing anything like this EVER!> > I am SO sorry!> -Charlotte>

> > > > > --> No virus found in this incoming message.> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 - Release Date: 9/23/2005> > > > --> No virus found in this outgoing message.> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 - Release Date: 9/23/2005> > > > --> No virus found in this incoming message.> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 - Release Date: 9/23/2005> > > > --> No virus found in this outgoing

message.> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.> Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 - Release Date: 9/23/2005> > __________________________________________________>

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I actually like that song but I think that

would kill it for me lol, My son does that with the Beach Boys CD and does the

same thing with Cocomo…..think our kids can trade CD’s lol!!

-Charlotte

From:

Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of M Strahlendorf

Sent: Saturday, October 01, 2005

7:04 PM

To:

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: RE:

Re: , Progress? Charlotte,

Right now my son is really into the band 3DOORSDOWN but he plays one

song called " Kryptonite " over and over again...... He puts his cd

player on repeat so I have to hear it oh I dont know... about 30 times a

day........ Gets a little aggravating.......LOL

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Share on other sites

Been there done that...lol Try Metallica, Ramstein or

any loud metal band.....geez! AND as loud as he can

get with it!!! And yes it does get aggravating.

> Right now my son is really into the band 3DOORSDOWN

> but he plays one song called " Kryptonite " over and

> over again...... He puts his cd player on repeat so

> I have to hear it oh I dont know... about 30 times a

> day........ Gets a little aggravating.......LOL

>

>

>

> in Lancaster, Ca

>

> Barry Hitchcock <bazndeb@...> wrote:

>

> Lol…I am right there with you. My son has found this

> German song and dance called the Numi Numi dance

> (not sure if spelt right) OMG…he plays this thing

> over and over and dances in our kitchen on pc. It

> drives me nuts!

>

> Deb’s in Bama

>

>

>

> Re: , Progress?

> Charlotte,

>

>

>

> Sometimes I'm ready to throw the computer out the

> window because

> Lucas is obsessing with it. We have kids in the

> neighborhood that

> are a year older but too advanced for Lucas. He has

> one friend that

> he occassionally plays with. He rather play

> computer than

> anything. I have hired a therapist so mayby she can

> get him

> interested in something else.

> dandyliondawn

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> >

> > Debs...................drive him Monday, DEMAND

> his BIP be

> revised, or he will not attend school, Call me if

> you need support.

> >

> >

> > oxoxoxox

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > PS, Charlotte, thank you for helping my friend. WE

> ALL NEED TO

> STAND BEHIND DEBS, WE ALL HAVE BEEN THERE, IT'S HER

> TURN!!!!! We

> need to start a " Mother's from H*** group " , anybody

> up for it?

> >

> >

> > RE: People leaving

> >

> >

> >

> > 2) nose to the wall for three minutes when all

> else fails:

> >

> >

> >

> > *************Debs, I have NEVER heard of a school

> doing anything

> like this EVER!

> >

> > I am SO sorry!

> > -Charlotte

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this incoming message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 -

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this outgoing message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 -

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this incoming message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 -

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > No virus found in this outgoing message.

> > Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.11.6/111 -

> Release Date:

> 9/23/2005

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

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