Re: a couple of bad days - very long

[Guest guest]

Carol,

I am so sorry, we've been there too.

My husband is the same. Last year we went to Water Country. likes the pools but is afraid of the water slides. My husband took him to the top of one of the scarier ones (enclosed tube slide) and tormented him with "getting over his fears" and even promised him a PS2 if he did it and didn't like it......TOTAL SET UP (and I was not near them). He got him on the slide, the kid was totally terrified and when he told his father my husband's response was "you're only saying that to get the Playstation" He then told he was lying, he must have liked it because "it's so fun" and took back the Playstation offer....I thought I was going to KILL him!!!!!!!

I MADE him buy the PS2 for his birthday a month later but STILL. This type of thing is not unusual, I know my husband is undiagnosed AS too but without as severe sensory problems as my son. My husband totally doesn't get it either and it is REALLY hard, because other than money, this is the only thing we actually argue about.

also has all the issues with the friend situation you mentioned. Right now he is dealing with his bf abandoning him to be friends with another kid. Really all this other child is doing is making "more" friends not "replacing" my son but it is not perceived that way by , he feels abandoned. Friends are a precious commodity these days and he just can't handle things like that.

Sorry she (and you) has such a rotten few days.

-Charlotte

a couple of bad days - very long

There are times when it is very challenging to be the parent of a special kid. this past Sunday, Mothers' Day, our local RC church does a may crowning of . All the children who made their first communion that year are invited to participate. said that she wanted to do it and I truly believe that she did. Unfortunately, I did not go because I am not Catholic. My dh took the two older kids. was supposed to go with the other children and process into the church with the priest. When they got there she couldn't do it. She was so afraid that she shut down and just couldn't. They tried to help her by saying that she could walk holding the hand of the priest but she doesn't know him that well. I wish I was there. Dh got mad and told her that she couldn't play video games for the rest of the day if she didn't go. For , no video games is like the death penalty and she still couldn't do it. She came to afterwards and said that she didn't understand why someone would punish a kid for being scared. I said I didn't know and she should discuss it with her father. He told her that she had to learn how to do things that she didn't want to do or the other kids would make fun of her. I wanted to kill him. I tried to speak with him after they went to bed but he doesn't get it. Part of the problem is that he has aspergers and isn't able to see anyone Else's point of view. He is very rigid. I felt so bad for the poor baby. She wanted to do it, she couldn't and then she got punished.

Next thing, today after school wanted to play with the neighborhood kids. Her best friend lives right across the street and was also just dx'd with as. Unfortunately, there is a boy at the end of our dead end who is not a very nice kid. I don't really know what happened but I was outside lighting the BBQ and the kids were coming back to our block from around the corner. was screaming for the kids to wait for her and not to leave her. She often does that if you get even a little bit ahead of her. Her perception is that she will be left and alone. She came running home and said that the kids, even her best friend, were mean to her and were saying mean things. I do believe it because it has happened before. The boy at the end of the street was out of the group for a while because his mother didn't want him to play with the other kids on the block because she was mad at all the other moms. Every time he gets involved, has problems. We are all trying to get along on the block now so we want the kids to play nicely together. I went to her bf's mom and told her what happened and she made the kids apologize. But then her bf went with the boy to his house and was left out. I know this is a prelude to my summer. It is torturous to watch. She gets so hurt by them. I don't know what to do about it either. She does do some bizarre things and the other kids think she is difficult but she shouldn't be the only one left out. I told my oldest what happened and explained to her that she will have to watch out for and not let the other kids pick on her. Other than that, what can I do? Life can be so painful sometimes.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thanks Charlotte

I know that you all would understand. All we can do is hope for a better day today although right now it's not looking good. Usually the bf's mom drives to school and if she goes before the bus comes goes with them. Today they left before we even got outside and had to take the bus. She also has been telling me for days that her tummy hurts. I know she is fine because she can go outside and play after school. My poor baby.designs <scottdesigns@...> wrote:

Carol,

I am so sorry, we've been there too.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

We have the tummy aches too. I know what they are, and it is sad.

It's so hard sometimes because we feel the pain as much as they do and sometimes more because we can't "fix" everything and we feel as though we should be able to. I hope she had a better second half of the week.

-Charlotte

Re: a couple of bad days - very long

Thanks Charlotte

I know that you all would understand. All we can do is hope for a better day today although right now it's not looking good. Usually the bf's mom drives to school and if she goes before the bus comes goes with them. Today they left before we even got outside and had to take the bus. She also has been telling me for days that her tummy hurts. I know she is fine because she can go outside and play after school. My poor baby.designs <scottdesigns@...> wrote:

Carol,

I am so sorry, we've been there too.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I wish I had a neighborhood full of AS kids... That way my son would not lack for any friends......carol sobczak <cpsobczak@...> wrote:

Thanks Charlotte

I know that you all would understand. All we can do is hope for a better day today although right now it's not looking good. Usually the bf's mom drives to school and if she goes before the bus comes goes with them. Today they left before we even got outside and had to take the bus. She also has been telling me for days that her tummy hurts. I know she is fine because she can go outside and play after school. My poor baby.designs <scottdesigns@...> wrote:

Carol,

I am so sorry, we've been there too.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Let know that it is OK. I took things very literally when I was

child. On my First Communion, I really believed that eating the Body

of Christ and Drinking his Blood. I was so nervous, that I threw up

all over the first pew in Church. During my first confession, I

couldn't think up anything to confess, so I lied. At my Confirmation,

I fainted. I have had some of my most embarrassing moments in the

Church. There just funny stories now, but at the time it was huge

deal.

My son had the same problem w/ inapproprate behavior and not being

able to make or maintain friendships. Creating Social Stories for

some of his behaviors really helped. Just work on one behavior at a

time. Here is book that can help you create you own social stories:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/188547766X/qid=1115827245/sr=2-

1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-0009696-9738369

> There are times when it is very challenging to be the parent of a

special kid. this past Sunday, Mothers' Day, our local RC church

does a may crowning of . All the children who made their first

communion that year are invited to participate. said that she

wanted to do it and I truly believe that she did. Unfortunately, I

did not go because I am not Catholic. My dh took the two older

kids. was supposed to go with the other children and process

into the church with the priest. When they got there she couldn't do

it. She was so afraid that she shut down and just couldn't. They

tried to help her by saying that she could walk holding the hand of

the priest but she doesn't know him that well. I wish I was there.

Dh got mad and told her that she couldn't play video games for the

rest of the day if she didn't go. For , no video games is like

the death penalty and she still couldn't do it. She came to

afterwards and said that she didn't understand why someone

> would punish a kid for being scared. I said I didn't know and she

should discuss it with her father. He told her that she had to learn

how to do things that she didn't want to do or the other kids would

make fun of her. I wanted to kill him. I tried to speak with him

after they went to bed but he doesn't get it. Part of the problem is

that he has aspergers and isn't able to see anyone Else's point of

view. He is very rigid. I felt so bad for the poor baby. She

wanted to do it, she couldn't and then she got punished.

>

> Next thing, today after school wanted to play with the

neighborhood kids. Her best friend lives right across the street and

was also just dx'd with as. Unfortunately, there is a boy at the end

of our dead end who is not a very nice kid. I don't really know what

happened but I was outside lighting the BBQ and the kids were coming

back to our block from around the corner. was screaming for

the kids to wait for her and not to leave her. She often does that

if you get even a little bit ahead of her. Her perception is that

she will be left and alone. She came running home and said that the

kids, even her best friend, were mean to her and were saying mean

things. I do believe it because it has happened before. The boy at

the end of the street was out of the group for a while because his

mother didn't want him to play with the other kids on the block

because she was mad at all the other moms. Every time he gets

involved, has problems. We are all trying to get

> along on the block now so we want the kids to play nicely

together. I went to her bf's mom and told her what happened and she

made the kids apologize. But then her bf went with the boy to his

house and was left out. I know this is a prelude to my

summer. It is torturous to watch. She gets so hurt by them. I

don't know what to do about it either. She does do some bizarre

things and the other kids think she is difficult but she shouldn't be

the only one left out. I told my oldest what happened and explained

to her that she will have to watch out for and not let the

other kids pick on her. Other than that, what can I do? Life can be

so painful sometimes.

>

>

>

> Carol, mom to

> , 3/14/94

> , 2/18/97

> Lily, 9/7/04

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I wish that were true. When my kid was screaming her head off for the others to wait for her, her AS friend had her head in the clouds and didn't even hear her. Neither one of them has a clue on how to deal with friends. The difference btwn them is that my is loud and bizarre and the neighbor is very quiet and in her own world. The other kids in the neighborhood are more willing to play with the quiet one.M Strahlendorf <pgnsht@...> wrote:

I wish I had a neighborhood full of AS kids... That way my son would not lack for any friends......

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

Stay connected, organized, and protected. Take the tour

[Guest guest]

designs <scottdesigns@...> wrote:

We have this too. Drives me NUTS sometimes!!!

It is the most annoying because when you say "what?" to her she flips out and absolutely refuses to tell you what she was saying. When she is too loud I tell her to "take it down a notch" and she does but only for a minute or so.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

TELL ME ABOUT IT!

Re: a couple of bad days - very long

designs <scottdesigns@...> wrote:

We have this too. Drives me NUTS sometimes!!!

It is the most annoying because when you say "what?" to her she flips out and absolutely refuses to tell you what she was saying. When she is too loud I tell her to "take it down a notch" and she does but only for a minute or so.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Sometimes it is like my son has a megaphone...lol... I tell him slow down....say it slower... and most of the time he does.... other times he gets a little bit louder and says what he has to say really fast before it slips his mind.... It is kind of funny..... But at times annoying as heck.... But most kids are this way.... why should we expect our little professors to be any different??????...LOLcarol sobczak <cpsobczak@...> wrote:

designs <scottdesigns@...> wrote:

We have this too. Drives me NUTS sometimes!!!

It is the most annoying because when you say "what?" to her she flips out and absolutely refuses to tell you what she was saying. When she is too loud I tell her to "take it down a notch" and she does but only for a minute or so.

Carol, mom to

, 3/14/94

, 2/18/97

Lily, 9/7/04

__________________________________________________