Guest guest Posted May 8, 2006 Report Share Posted May 8, 2006 In a message dated 5/8/2006 9:57:24 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, melbiscuit5@... writes: One thing I wanted to suggest about the jiggling of the doorknob, have you tried saying something silly like, " that sounds like bells, are you playing a song? " Instead of reassuring her the door is locked. Or " I don't know if you can be sure the door is locked, is my hair really brown? " Sandy..... I didn't know that was reassuring her (when we would say " it's locked " ) I'm still a little confused on all that -- what's reassurance and not helpful & what's not reassurance and IS helpful. Funny story - your " is my hair really brown " reminded me of it. My dd has adopted another ritual recently, this one with a stuffed animal at bed time. She has a favorite - a duck that my mom gave her a few years back at Easter time. Well, the other night I noticed just before she could settle in to sleep, she looks at this duck straight in the face, lifts one wing up & down about 3 times with one finger & says " , , " in a soft voice. I had asked her that night what exactly she was doing that for - she said to make sure she had the right stuffed animal. (hhmmmm....) Anyway (here's the funny story part), last night she did it again & I started messing with him too - I grabbed him & flipped his wing up & down and made up some goofy name for him. She thought that was pretty funny. Then I flopped HER arm up & down and said her name 3 times. I said " Well, I have to make sure I'm putting the right kid to bed, don't I ???? I mean, you could be someone else!!!! " She thought that was pretty hysterical. LT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2006 Report Share Posted May 8, 2006 That is great to hear your visit is going well! I have found out alot of people I know are on antidepressants too. It is far more common nowadays to be on it for menopause, depression, etc. I understand you wanting to go with her to the bathroom, even though it was helping her (which can keep her stuck), since you didn't want her to miss the cooking. There is a place and time to do exposures, etc. Plus you don't want a scene at dinner! One thing I wanted to suggest about the jiggling of the doorknob, have you tried saying something silly like, " that sounds like bells, are you playing a song? " Instead of reassuring her the door is locked. Or " I don't know if you can be sure the door is locked, is my hair really brown? " All I know is the more I reassured Bre the more I fueled the ocd fire. Once they ride out the anxiety, they will habituate to it. Good luck and enjoy your visit with your mom. Sandy > > Hi all. > > Just wanted to mention how very well the visit with my mom is going. She > has been great about the OCD thing - not saying much about it & just being > understanding. > > It was quite a hoot when she told my daughter that she too was on Prozac!! > I think my dd is beginning to understand that it really isn't as uncommon (or > " weird " ) as she might think (although for different reasons.) My mom went > on Prozac shortly after my Dad passed away (12/22/06) because she was having a > hard time of it, depression, etc. > > Although at dinner tonight (my mom took us to a nice restaurant - one of > those oriental places that cooks right on the table), and dd said she had to use > the bathroom just before the cook started..... I looked at her & said > " you'll be ok? " she said " no, come with me " (all whispered, of course)... my mom > looked at me & said, " no let her try it on her own... " (maybe she was > right... maybe not... I don't know - all I know is that if I didn't go with her she > probably would have been in there for 20 mins on her own and would have > missed the cooking 'fun part' and would have felt badly when she finally got back > to the table -- so I told my mom that I really had to go, she wanted me to > help her along. I just thought it was the right thing to do, given the > circumstances. My mom doesn't really understand (because she hasn't seen it yet) > how long she can be 'stuck' in a bathroom. > > Also, I caught her brother 'helping' as he walked by the bathroom a couple > days ago & she was in the middle of her frenzied " is the door locked " check > (jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle..) I heard him say a couple of times as he > passed, " It's locked... it's locked " (which is just what my husband & I do when > we hear her doing that.) I mentioned it to her today & said, " gee, it's kind > of nice to have someone else here who can offer a little help now & then, > huh? " She agreed. > > All good things I think. > LT > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2006 Report Share Posted May 8, 2006 That is great to hear your visit is going well! I have found out alot of people I know are on antidepressants too. It is far more common nowadays to be on it for menopause, depression, etc. I understand you wanting to go with her to the bathroom, even though it was helping her (which can keep her stuck), since you didn't want her to miss the cooking. There is a place and time to do exposures, etc. Plus you don't want a scene at dinner! One thing I wanted to suggest about the jiggling of the doorknob, have you tried saying something silly like, " that sounds like bells, are you playing a song? " Instead of reassuring her the door is locked. Or " I don't know if you can be sure the door is locked, is my hair really brown? " All I know is the more I reassured Bre the more I fueled the ocd fire. Once they ride out the anxiety, they will habituate to it. Good luck and enjoy your visit with your mom. Sandy > > Hi all. > > Just wanted to mention how very well the visit with my mom is going. She > has been great about the OCD thing - not saying much about it & just being > understanding. > > It was quite a hoot when she told my daughter that she too was on Prozac!! > I think my dd is beginning to understand that it really isn't as uncommon (or > " weird " ) as she might think (although for different reasons.) My mom went > on Prozac shortly after my Dad passed away (12/22/06) because she was having a > hard time of it, depression, etc. > > Although at dinner tonight (my mom took us to a nice restaurant - one of > those oriental places that cooks right on the table), and dd said she had to use > the bathroom just before the cook started..... I looked at her & said > " you'll be ok? " she said " no, come with me " (all whispered, of course)... my mom > looked at me & said, " no let her try it on her own... " (maybe she was > right... maybe not... I don't know - all I know is that if I didn't go with her she > probably would have been in there for 20 mins on her own and would have > missed the cooking 'fun part' and would have felt badly when she finally got back > to the table -- so I told my mom that I really had to go, she wanted me to > help her along. I just thought it was the right thing to do, given the > circumstances. My mom doesn't really understand (because she hasn't seen it yet) > how long she can be 'stuck' in a bathroom. > > Also, I caught her brother 'helping' as he walked by the bathroom a couple > days ago & she was in the middle of her frenzied " is the door locked " check > (jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle..) I heard him say a couple of times as he > passed, " It's locked... it's locked " (which is just what my husband & I do when > we hear her doing that.) I mentioned it to her today & said, " gee, it's kind > of nice to have someone else here who can offer a little help now & then, > huh? " She agreed. > > All good things I think. > LT > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2006 Report Share Posted May 8, 2006 >Then I > flopped HER arm up & down and said her name 3 times. I said " Well, I have to make > sure I'm putting the right kid to bed, don't I ???? I mean, you could be > someone else!!!! " > > She thought that was pretty hysterical. LT - That kind of humor is really great, it can interrupt a compulsion, and distract them so they may move on without doing it (or doing it as much). I try so often to keep the humor going, but some days I just can't find it in myself! And yes, reassuring your daughter the door is locked DOES fuel the OCD, but like you said it is so hard to know what adds to it and what helps. I know you're still waiting for therapy to start (if I have the right person in mind!) so you do what you have to do to keep your daughter moving. With her recent bout of OCD, came up with one reassurance thing. She'd brush her teeth, check them in the mirror, then have to ask me if they looked clean (esp the molars, she'd insist there was still some food stuck in them). At first I checked and said yes or no, but then I started telling her I was sure she did a good job and refused to check. She'd get stressed out by it, but she knows why I'm backing off. This morning I was in such a rush to get everyone ready and out the door that as I was making her lunch, she called from the bathroom, asking me to check. Unthinkingly I said, " yes, it's OK " and she was happy with that -- even though I couldn't even see her teeth. Again, no logic with OCD. nna. NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2006 Report Share Posted May 8, 2006 >Then I > flopped HER arm up & down and said her name 3 times. I said " Well, I have to make > sure I'm putting the right kid to bed, don't I ???? I mean, you could be > someone else!!!! " > > She thought that was pretty hysterical. LT - That kind of humor is really great, it can interrupt a compulsion, and distract them so they may move on without doing it (or doing it as much). I try so often to keep the humor going, but some days I just can't find it in myself! And yes, reassuring your daughter the door is locked DOES fuel the OCD, but like you said it is so hard to know what adds to it and what helps. I know you're still waiting for therapy to start (if I have the right person in mind!) so you do what you have to do to keep your daughter moving. With her recent bout of OCD, came up with one reassurance thing. She'd brush her teeth, check them in the mirror, then have to ask me if they looked clean (esp the molars, she'd insist there was still some food stuck in them). At first I checked and said yes or no, but then I started telling her I was sure she did a good job and refused to check. She'd get stressed out by it, but she knows why I'm backing off. This morning I was in such a rush to get everyone ready and out the door that as I was making her lunch, she called from the bathroom, asking me to check. Unthinkingly I said, " yes, it's OK " and she was happy with that -- even though I couldn't even see her teeth. Again, no logic with OCD. nna. NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 9, 2006 Report Share Posted May 9, 2006 I agree with you that that night was not a time to try it on her own and miss out on a great dinner with her family. my mother also hasn't been around either to see exactly what my daughter is going through. as far as being stuck in the bathroom you need to maybe put boundries so it doesn't progress longer cause in time it will. my daughter use to shower for 20 minutes (we kept it timed and it had boundaries) then we stopped timing and allowed her to go till she got out. she is now at 50 minutes. she has torn her chest up. it stays raw looking like patches of burned skin. her therapist has decided that we need to set boundaries so it doesn't get longer so right now we time 45 minutes and offer rewards for her getting out on her own. if i have to go in and turn off shower then no token for earning reward. we had to do this for the health of her skin. we are in the beginning of cbt so we haven't gotten to showering yet. but for now the " dirt jerk " has a boundary. when i time her i do knocks on the door to let her know how much time. no talking or hollering. we just started this and not sure how it will go so far so good! take care jdaniels Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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