preschool son question

[Guest guest]

Hi again -- so since I last wrote I have seen a child psychologist

twice (alone) and I feel very comfortable with him although he

reminds me that he really isn't a person to provide real CBT for my

son, and that I might need to go elsewhere once we really get into

that. Right now I'm just providing a lot of information and

background...we really haven't gotten into the rituals so far due to

limited time. Hopefully we'll have all the information exchanged

over the next few visits so we can make some headway...

Anyways, my task this week was to ask my son, " these things you like

to do a certain way...what would you like to call them? Can we call

it a routine? Like this is your bedtime routine? " . Well, as I

expected, he said " I don't want to call it anything " . So I joked

around, " we'll call it the bedtime nothing then " and of course he

got frustrated with me after some back and forth and we ended up

leaving it alone.

(1) does this mean he has the insight to understand the things he is

doing are unusual and represent a problem? I think that would be

progress if that's true?

(2) I was excited about externalizing the problem and looked forward

to having a label for us to use...any suggestions for getting us

there? I somehow thought he'd go for calling it a " routine " ...are we

at a standstill with this?

My husband, who had been completely against us talking with anyone

because " nothing was wrong " is not UNsupportive of my seeing this

psychologist although I haven't brought up the possibility of

bringing him or bringing my son at some point. This doctor seems to

have the insight to realize that them coming is not an option right

now. (I thought it was funny that the other psychologist I saw, once

informed that my husband didn't want us to see a psychologist and

didn't want the school involved or informed at any level, handed me

three thick sheafs of paper labeled " OCD inventory " for me to have

filled out by the school and my husband...? huh ? :-)...

I did briefly speak with a teacher at the school for an update (with

me not providing any info at all) and unfortunately she said that

they are hopeful but, are working on flexibility and anger, he

doesn't really have any friends, he's harsh to other kids, forceful

with teachers, everything is black and white, etc. My husband was

worried that I'd had this brief interchange with the school, that

now they could kick us out (private school) and be able to say " we

told you so, gave you notice a while ago that there were

problems " ...maybe that is his real motivation for denying all this?

Thanks for following...