keeping the clothes on

[Guest guest]

If you thought you are alone, like I do so many times, we...we...are not. I have two girls with autism. When they were younger, poop was smeared everywhere....sometimes all over the walls. I would get on my hands and knees and cry because it was a daunting task and I had just had it to the top. I felt like I must have done something wrong in my life to deserve this...it was very overwhelming. One would be afraid to poop so would stand in the corner and hold it in dreading the feeling of pooping...and it was huge when it did come out and she was only four years old. We gave her more juice that helped. She would pick at her poop when it started to come out and smear it on the floor and never tell us that she had to go. Then finally, when she was about 8, she started going on the potty...we just put her there and she

began to make the connection. I realize that method is not the theoretical best way, it just worked for her. My second one, she was in pullups seemed like forever. So exhausting. Finally, we began to do the same with her at school - putting her on the potty. Then it became an obsession, thank God, to sit on the toilet multiple times a day. Now she goes on her own completely...except at night. Both will eliminate on the floor in their room and not tell us they have to go. That is frustrating, but I am grateful that it isn't the other way.Both change their clothing multiple times per day....now I have a super loader which helps with the stress of that. They too would rather be naked. But hey, that just isn't how life is so we simply make them put on clothes. It is kind've forging through the issue and desensitizing it. It works to get

them to do the functional things that society will not allow like have clothes on, but it is some tough love and at times I really hated myself for doing it. But if I catered to that and allowed them to be naked, how would I teach them to get through it? So, knowing that it was a sensory issue of not having anything on the skin and the coolness probably felt good, we did try and watch the tags. But again, they had to push through it. IT is a form of very tough mothering, but from what I am told by therapists, it is effective. What also helped is to give the child choices with what to put on - say this outfit or that outfit. Which one do you want? They still feel in control, but are achieving what you want them to which is to get dressed. The point is that clothes must be put on...no one can be allowed to run around naked. It reinforces the wrong point.Also, on another note, the

taking the diaper off can be good as it is speaking to you saying, "I don't want to wear this anymore." I think she is ready to potty train now by her own indications. It is just how to get her to be going in the potty - that is process whereby put her on consistently every 30 minutes, and give her a positive reinforcer - say a skittle or something - for just sitting on the potty. No expectation. Then one day, she is going to go in there. Good Potty you might say. Play the movies about going to the potty. This really helped my girls get it. It is a long road, but I do want you to know, she will get it one day. Keep your head up. Make it a family affair of learning and it won't be as stressful. Reinforcers work well for everything she does right so that she learns what is the right thing to do. It is amazing to me how much my other 6 children help me with my 2 autistic girls. And

please take a moment to say to you, "You are a good mom! Be Encouraged me!" Hope this helps in some way. I have been there and know the exhaustion. Deborah Brownbzeb6@...

[Guest guest]

Deborah,

What a kind message! I bet you are a lovely mother. It is hard to work through

these things but I agree that we need to continue to strive toward the goal the

best we can.

Jill

>

> If you thought you are alone, like I do so many times, we...we...are not. I

> have two girls with autism. When they were younger, poop was smeared

> everywhere....sometimes all over the walls. I would get on my hands and knees

> and cry because it was a daunting task and I had just had it to the top. I

felt

> like I must have done something wrong in my life to deserve this...it was very

> overwhelming. One would be afraid to poop so would stand in the corner and

hold

> it in dreading the feeling of pooping...and it was huge when it did come out

and

> she was only four years old. We gave her more juice that helped. She would

> pick at her poop when it started to come out and smear it on the floor and

never

> tell us that she had to go. Then finally, when she was about 8, she started

> going on the potty...we just put her there and she began to make the

connection.

> I realize that method is not the theoretical best way, it just worked for

her.

>

> My second one, she was in pullups seemed like forever. So exhausting.

Finally,

> we began to do the same with her at school - putting her on the potty. Then

it

> became an obsession, thank God, to sit on the toilet multiple times a day.

Now

> she goes on her own completely...except at night. Both will eliminate on the

> floor in their room and not tell us they have to go. That is frustrating, but

I

> am grateful that it isn't the other way.

>

> Both change their clothing multiple times per day....now I have a super loader

> which helps with the stress of that. They too would rather be naked. But

hey,

> that just isn't how life is so we simply make them put on clothes. It is

> kind've forging through the issue and desensitizing it. It works to get them

to

> do the functional things that society will not allow like have clothes on, but

> it is some tough love and at times I really hated myself for doing it. But if

I

> catered to that and allowed them to be naked, how would I teach them to get

> through it? So, knowing that it was a sensory issue of not having anything on

> the skin and the coolness probably felt good, we did try and watch the tags.

> But again, they had to push through it. IT is a form of very tough

mothering,

> but from what I am told by therapists, it is effective. What also helped is

to

> give the child choices with what to put on - say this outfit or that outfit.

> Which one do you want? They still feel in control, but are achieving what you

> want them to which is to get dressed. The point is that clothes must be put

> on...no one can be allowed to run around naked. It reinforces the wrong

point.

>

> Also, on another note, the taking the diaper off can be good as it is speaking

> to you saying, " I don't want to wear this anymore. " I think she is ready to

> potty train now by her own indications. It is just how to get her to be going

> in the potty - that is process whereby put her on consistently every 30

minutes,

> and give her a positive reinforcer - say a skittle or something - for just

> sitting on the potty. No expectation. Then one day, she is going to go in

> there. Good Potty you might say. Play the movies about going to the potty.

> This really helped my girls get it. It is a long road, but I do want you to

> know, she will get it one day. Keep your head up. Make it a family affair of

> learning and it won't be as stressful. Reinforcers work well for everything

she

> does right so that she learns what is the right thing to do. It is amazing to

> me how much my other 6 children help me with my 2 autistic girls. And please

> take a moment to say to you, " You are a good mom! Be Encouraged me! "

>

> Hope this helps in some way. I have been there and know the exhaustion.

>

> Deborah Brown

> bzeb6@...

>