Re: HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH FAMILY MEMBERS?

[Guest guest]

For strangers, Use technical terms... it normally makes them go away. " I'm

sorry but my son has autism and is having a meltdown. We are implementing his

behavior plan which was developed by experts. So I would appreciate it if you

would not interfere " .

For family, it depends on the relationship you currently have and how much you

want to maintain that relationship. My mother was extremely critical and

accusing. Finally I wrote her a letter explaining the very difficult time that

we were experiencing. I then told her what she could do to help us and what I

did not what her to do anymore. For us, that was " I will welcome any

constructive feedback that is based on research specfically designed for Autism

kids. But I will no longer listen to critism because I can't deal with that on

top of everything else. I need you to support me and my decisions. If you

can't do that, please don't call. " Yes it was a risk but it paid off. It

permently silenced her (this happened 12 years ago). Sometimes she sends me an

article that she finds. I always thank her even though it's often something I

already know. It means she's reading and learning too.

BTW, I think the letter works best because it prevents them interrupting you and

it gives you time to craft it to perfection. Try to keep meanness out of the

letter but let them know how this situation hurts you and your child.

Please remember folks that most people don't understand. You have to decided if

you want to take the effort to educate them or if you just want them to go away.

I decided to attempt to educate the family and get the strangers to go away.

Jill

>

> that make comments like....he should be using a fork and spoon instead of

fingers... child is almost 4... going to a special pre-school. and is

progressing very well.

>

> They don't seem to get it - that she IS almost 4 - but social and occupational

skills are about a year behind...

>

> Also, she is potty trained - but wears a night-time diaper....we have been

trying to work on ONE thing at time. Also, she still uses a sippy

cup.....family members want her to use a cup..... I am tired of their constant

belittling my daughter.... I am the Grandma.

>

> They also want to know why they don't discipline her for certain

things....sometimes she doesn't understand what she has done

>

> How do you discipline an mildly autistic child? and also deal with ignorant

family members?

>