End of My Rope

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

Just venting...have had 2 weeks of hell and things just don't seem to

be improving. After a year and a half of relative calm, I feel like

things are right back to where we were in the beginning.

(almost 9) knows how to beat OCD, but ever since she got that virus a

couple weeks ago she just isn't putting in the effort. I am calling

her therapist almost every day looking for guidance, and am doing all

she says, but it boils down to a waiting game, waiting for to

really commit again.

Tried to get out last night, went over to a friend's, but dh had to

give a bath and it turned out very badly. He tries, but loses

his temper quicker than I do (I've had much practice controlling

mine!) and that makes it all worse. It ends with her thrashing in the

bath, screaming, hysterical, and refusing to get out because she will

be cold and " sticky " . He had to pull her out finally, then having her

get dressed, another nightmare. They wound up calling me, and I had

to talk her through things on the phone, made a game out of it: " OK,

put me (the phone) down somewhere in your room, get your underwear on,

then pick me up and I'll try to guess where I was. " It took 15-20

minutes, but she got dressed. She was so worn out, still crying.

At school she is on the verge of tears all day, worrying about what if

she needs to go to the bathroom, then in tears if she does go, since

then she feels like she is peeing still. I am so sick of hearing,

" I'm peeing! " after I pull her off the toilet. Of course at school

she just cries, doesn't " spaz out " like at home. I'm trying to be

firm with her, tell her I will not help her if she yells and gets

hysterical. But then if I leave her, she will just stay on that darn

toilet pushing, trying to get more drops out!

Again, just venting. I have avoided meds up til now, and I'm torn,

wondering if I am torturing her needlessly. Her therapist told me I

should hold off on making a decision on meds until we are past this

crisis time, then look back at the year overall and decide if it's

necessary. UGH. In the meantime, how do we survive the crisis????

Thanks for " listening " !

nna.

NY