Zeb, age 10

[Guest guest]

This is a school issue - if you have NOT called the other DO NOT DO SO>

And how did this mother get your name? the school nurse should not be

giving out names and phone numbers. The school is liable for giving out

that information. Your privacy needs protecting also. Reader's Digest just

did an article on Bullying that is appropriate here. The suggestion is that

the school, the school couselor acts as the mediator so that parents do not

become embroiled in this personal issue. The fact that your son was the

instigator (or so the report makes it appear) doesn't change the wisdom of

allowing the school to do the dealing.

As to Kent not being involved. My husband NEVEr attended a parent meeting

for any of our five children until the past 2 years. Now he is getting his

fill of IEP meetings, behavior discussions, etc. He didn't attend the year

long meetings on FECES that still haunts me. He is the one attending the

school meetings for the foster children - I am on strike!! After all - he

is retired now. We both go to Eli's meetings.

Is there a written behavior plan in Zeb's IEP? Has he a 1:1 aid? With a

written behavior plan as part of his IEP, situations such as the " sudden

unexplained attack " would be thought out before hand - he sits in an inside

seat with his aid between him and the other students, he eats near an exit,

or when the lunch room is less crowded - maybe he needs to enter first

before the other kids. It could have been something as simple as a change

in the sound pitch of the room. My son ate at a desk in the hall outside the

cafeteria for a year - he couldn't handle the noise in the cafeteria. He

had special friends from his grade who took turns eating with him at his

table. This was a reward for good behavior for the other students.

Sara - Choose to make lemonade, not complain about the lemons. But I would

throw lemons if necessary and then have a strong drink!!

----Original Message Follows----

From: charlyne1121@...

Reply-

Subject: Re: Kathy- hubby ( MORE SCHOOL PROBLEMS- HELP)

Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 01:11:36 EST

In a message dated 2/23/2003 10:50:58 PM Eastern Standard Time,

UrthMan@... writes:

> I can very much relate to everything you said.

> Kent has never gone to an IEP let alone know what they are. I take full

> responsibility for -

> he does the daddy thing (joking with him,waves goodbye to him in the

> morning and greets him in the afternoon. . . when he is home) I have

> learned not to discuss the school situation with Kent because he thinks

> that I am picking on them when they are doing " all they can do " . I will

> never discuss this topic with Kent because he has no clue about the

> educational part of 's life. I really feel that he has no interest

in

> getting better either. He feels that is my responsibility. Kent is very

> supportive and giving financially but, on an emotional level he has no

> clue.

Hi Kathy & Gang,

I don't want you to think your alone on this school issue. I have a husband

that is the same way. It has nothing to do with Zeb personally. He has never

attended a school meeting for the older kids either. It just wasn't his

thing

and feels very uncomfortable. I accept it, do my job and he does his. He

doesn't understand the emotional portion of it either nor does he try. He

knows how upset I get with the school issues and can't understand why I just

don't keep him home. I was out this afternoon and my daughter got a call

from

a screaming parent saying she was having Zeb arrested etc. She called on the

cell and I raced to the school. Zeb had punched another boy in the stomach.

I

actually didn't know Zeb could punch. The parent was called by the school

nurse. Zeb was in his classroom and all was fine. I spoke with the principal

and he really didn't say much other than Zeb punched the boy for no reason.

Zeb's regular aide was out today and he did not have an aide during lunch.

The lunch aide says he was fine but just got up and punched this child for

no

reason. The mom left a message here that she would be at work but I should

call her tomorrow. She called here after 10 tonight ranting and raving. My

son is dangerous and her son will have to go for conseling now etc. She is

going to the police station to have him arrested for assualt and will seek

legal counsel. I think you all get the picture. My husband just thinks I

should keep him home. I can't think anymore. Zeb should have had an aide in

the classroom at lunch. The teacher was out herself having lunch. The lunch

aide that was in the room (aide for the whole class) was the very same that

I

had problems with last week. I don't think she did anything but rather

didn't

do anything. I just can't figure out why he would just do something like

that

out of the blue. Any comments, ideas, suggestions or that lemonade margarita

would be appreciated.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 10 DS/OCD ?