Re: Watching multiples by yourself

[Guest guest]

> Kay - Mom to , , -ds

my story.....

I have three children, 3 and under (for a while I was able to say 1 and

under) ALL at different developmental levels and I think that makes things

VERY difficult. My husband is gone for 24 hours at a time....today is one

of those days. I am breast feeding as I type this. One-to-One

attention is not something that any of my kids get very often. Truth be

told, I CAN'T do it by myself for the full 24 hours (girls keep me up all

night between the two of them) and between 5pm-8pm I have help with super

and bed time. I am being wheeled away from the computer now so I had better

fly (the chair I am on has wheels on it).

, mom to Nicala & ,ds (3) and (15 months)

that didn't help much, did it?

[Guest guest]

kay...an idea to tell hubby: remind him that when he

is playing w/ anna or coloring or reading etc...that

is incorperating alot of 'therapy' for our kids! He

can ask her to point to objects while reading or put

music on and clap and sing and play touch this

game...I know I didnt do as much w/ my second as i did

w/ the first.

and like you said..when the 3 of them play together

that is also learning! And if he needed someone for

say 1x a week for help he can ask a neighbor kid to

'play' w/ them for 2 hours. keep him encouraged!

--- " Tiernan, Kay " <kay.tiernan@...> wrote:

> Another topic.

> My husband is home watching our triplets. His mom,

> after a year of living

> with us will be returning to her home the first of

> April. Tom, my husband

> feels he can watch the kids on his own, but is very

> concerned that he just

> wouldn't be able to devote enough time to . He

> would like to have some

> time to work with . I think he needs to

> understand that the kids will

> start to play together more and more and may not be

> as demanding on him for

> his attention..???

>

> I think that most of you are watching your children

> yourself. I also think

> that most women know/feel they can do it

> automatically. (Plus keep the house

> in order, etc..) Do all of you feel you give your

> child with DS enough of

> your time. Will any of us really ever feel we can

> give our DS children

> enough of our time? What can I tell him?

>

> Practically, I wouldn't mind having someone come in

> part time, but we will

> be paying probably $12/hr. That will add up to a lot

> of $$ fast, especially

> for a single income family.

>

> Kay - Mom to , , -ds

>

>

>

=====

mom to Katy (10) and Denton (5)

both DS.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Kay,

I've spent a bit of time agonizing over this for the past 4 years. I had a

19 month old son when my other three were born. I have no family at all

that lives anywhere closer that 700 miles or so. The only help I've had off

and on is " paid " help.

There is no easy way to give them individual attention, but I can tell you

some things that have helped me over the past few years. To some extent I

have run my home as an inclusive preschool for the past 4 years. We rotate

types of activities and try to let everyone in on it at their level. The

thing I always focus on when I think that I am not giving (DS)

enough attention is that the better job I do at raising his 3 brothers, the

better life he will have. So all the time and attention that I give his

sibblings will ultimately benefit him. The amazing thing about the boys is

that they don't crave the one on one as much as one would suspect that they

would. When given the opportunity to do something one on one with Mommy,

they often request that their brothers be included. I look back at the

early years as a wonderful oppotunity for group bonding. Separation comes

quickly enough. That's what makes that first year delicious through all

fatugue etc. Holding and feeding those babies individually is great.

I have had to hire help off and on when possible. Best help is someone

willing to take on household chores. Cooking, laundry, cleanup. Or just

that opportunity to be in the house with the others while you take one out

to run errands. Having a few years perspective makes me realize that

whatever the children lack in one on one, they get back tenfold in sibbling

relations.

Connie Mom to 6, and Austin, (DS) and 4.

Watching multiples by yourself

> From: " Tiernan, Kay " <kay.tiernan@...>

>

> Another topic.

> My husband is home watching our triplets. His mom, after a year of living

> with us will be returning to her home the first of April. Tom, my husband

> feels he can watch the kids on his own, but is very concerned that he just

> wouldn't be able to devote enough time to . He would like to have some

> time to work with . I think he needs to understand that the kids will

> start to play together more and more and may not be as demanding on him

for

> his attention..???

>

> I think that most of you are watching your children yourself. I also think

> that most women know/feel they can do it automatically. (Plus keep the

house

> in order, etc..) Do all of you feel you give your child with DS enough of

> your time. Will any of us really ever feel we can give our DS children

> enough of our time? What can I tell him?

>

> Practically, I wouldn't mind having someone come in part time, but we will

> be paying probably $12/hr. That will add up to a lot of $$ fast,

especially

> for a single income family.

>

> Kay - Mom to , , -ds

>

>

>

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Kay: The hospital I had the boys at (Baylor Univ. Med.

Ctr. in Dallas) is affiliated with the Baylor Nursing

School. Thru the staff in NICU I got my hands on a

list of nursing students who wanted part time

babysitting jobs. I was lucky enuf to find 3 girls

who were interested so I had them on a kind of

rotating schedule where at least 2x a week I had

someone there for a few hours. They were cheap (about

$5.00/hr) and very enthusiastic about the boys! Maybe

if there's a university near you w/a nursing program

they may have something similar, or check out local

community colleges, esp. ones that offer " child

development " curriculum. They may also have something

similar. Our local high school has a big " child

development " center and I got the name of our current

babysitter from the head of the Dept. Also, pardon me

for the " brain-drain " , but I can't remeber how old

your kiddos are... Do any of the local churches in

your area have " mother's day out " programs? Most of

them take kids as young as 6mos. usually for 2-3

days/week, for about 5-6 hrs a day. That was pretty

inexpensive too, about $9.00/day per kid. Maybe if

you find a program like that, you could put just two

of the kids in that program then your DH could spend

some quality one-on-one time w/? Just a couple of

things that worked for me. And, yes you are right, as

they get older, they discover a built in playmate and

you aren't the constant source of entertainment. It's

been great lately for me, I can get some stuff done

around the house. Good luck and hope you find

something that works for you!

Judi-Mom to Sam and , 3, Identical Twins

--- " Tiernan, Kay " <kay.tiernan@...> wrote:

> Another topic.

> My husband is home watching our triplets. His mom,

> after a year of living

> with us will be returning to her home the first of

> April. Tom, my husband

> feels he can watch the kids on his own, but is very

> concerned that he just

> wouldn't be able to devote enough time to . He

> would like to have some

> time to work with . I think he needs to

> understand that the kids will

> start to play together more and more and may not be

> as demanding on him for

> his attention..???

>

> I think that most of you are watching your children

> yourself. I also think

> that most women know/feel they can do it

> automatically. (Plus keep the house

> in order, etc..) Do all of you feel you give your

> child with DS enough of

> your time. Will any of us really ever feel we can

> give our DS children

> enough of our time? What can I tell him?

>

> Practically, I wouldn't mind having someone come in

> part time, but we will

> be paying probably $12/hr. That will add up to a lot

> of $$ fast, especially

> for a single income family.

>

> Kay - Mom to , , -ds

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Kay,

In response to your questions related to your husband having the triplets by

himself during the day, I can offer the following comments:

My twins are now five and my oldest son, nine. I have been mostly a

stay-at-home mom since my nine year old son was born (with the exception of

some part-time work occasionally). I have definitely relied on Sara's

brothers to interact with her and motivate her to try new things. I have not

spent a lot of extra time working with Sara that I have not spent with her

brothers. While it is true, I sometimes feel like I " should " be spending

more one on one time with her, I believe the games I play or the books I read

with all of them together or the interaction they have together is very

beneficial to her. I have been spending time in her room, lately, while she

pretends to fix me meals or she enjoys having me play with her dolls with

her. She also has a little girlfriend over once a week, who is not DS, but

is two years younger than Sara--they have a wonderful time playing. She is

also in preschool four hours a day, four days a week. Her language is coming

along well and she amazes me each day with the new words or concepts she is

learning. Sometimes while I am getting dinner, I have either or

Lucas show Sara flashcards with pictures and letters, so her brothers are a

very important part of her day and her growth.

Bottomline: Your triplets will definitely begin interacting together as they

get older and I feel that interaction will benefit a lot.

I find that when my husband has all three kids while I am away, he definitely

plays with them and interacts with them, but that is all that gets done;

other than feeding them if I'm gone that length of time.

Hope this helps.

Marcia

Mom to Sara (DS) and 5 and Lucas 9

[Guest guest]

Tiernan, Kay wrote:

>

> From: " Tiernan, Kay " <kay.tiernan@...>

>

> Another topic.

> My husband is home watching our triplets. His mom, after a year of living

> with us will be returning to her home the first of April. Tom, my husband

> feels he can watch the kids on his own, but is very concerned that he just

> wouldn't be able to devote enough time to . He would like to have some

> time to work with . I think he needs to understand that the kids will

> start to play together more and more and may not be as demanding on him for

> his attention..???

>

> I think that most of you are watching your children yourself. I also think

> that most women know/feel they can do it automatically. (Plus keep the house

> in order, etc..) Do all of you feel you give your child with DS enough of

> your time. Will any of us really ever feel we can give our DS children

> enough of our time? What can I tell him?

>

> Practically, I wouldn't mind having someone come in part time, but we will

> be paying probably $12/hr. That will add up to a lot of $$ fast, especially

> for a single income family.

>

> Kay - Mom to , , -ds

>

Hi again, me, Gail......yes, I'm it to my 4 kids. No, I don't think I

give Tara enough PHYSICAL attention,{working with her and stuff}but,

just like I'm on here now, I do all the reading collect ALL the info

needed to care for her and keep up to date on things that I need to know

for her. Keep EVERYONE's dr. appt. ......yada yada yada, you know the

drill! I don't know you husband, so all I can tell you is that I do

everything concerning my kids, plus I work 12 hr. shifts at the hospital

every other weekend on third shift! {no I don't sleep when I come home

Sun morning, just go to bed early with the kids Sun night} hey! maybe

this schedule will keep me young?................NOT!

Gail.........BObby 6, Jillian 3.5, and Tara{Ds} 10months

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

> From: " Tiernan, Kay " <kay.tiernan@...>

> Do all of you feel you give your child with DS enough of

> your time. Will any of us really ever feel we can give our DS children

> enough of our time? What can I tell him?

Kay,

When I had the girls Sian was 2yrs and Kane was 5yrs.I had to take Kane

to school and Sian just started kindy.If Neil was at sea I was exhausted

especially if the girls were sick mainly Skye getting broncholitis

because of her heart.I spent what I could with Skye but she also had

therapist coming to see her as well so I did not fell guilty at all.Kane

and Sian worked excercises with Skye when I could not.I was being pulled

in all directions Kane with homework etc Sian just wanted mum and Skye

who needed me more than all of them to help her and who was

always and still is very very independant. was and still is Skyes

greatest teacher.

Skye is achieving very well so I did something right.

Your husband will do just fine.

Easterbrook

mum to Kane 11yrs,Sian 8yrs,Skye(DS) and 6yrs.