Re: E-mail from neighborhood relations person

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/15/02 8:24:18 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

tollytx@... writes:

<< I e-mailed our neighborhood relations person to explain what had happend

and that I wanted to hand out flyers about and how to contact us and

this was the response I got about what had happend. Just thought those of

you who are concerned about what happend would like to know what did happen.

It makes me wonder how long he was gone. Thanks,

,

I must say I am very impressed with the way all of you have handled this

situation. I think that was wonderful, if what the letter said is true.

What a caring area you live in! I have decided to make up a poster for our

neighborhood too. That's one way to meet the new people that have moved to

our area lately. Sounds to me like you are very fortunate and that there

won't be any more police involvement in the future. Let us know how the rest

of the summer goes, huh? Thanks for sharing the whole story with us .

Gail :-)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/15/02 8:29:55 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

joan@... writes:

<< I have mixed feelings, but am forcing myself back to that earlier life

before Ds and think that this sounds reasonable.

>>

Oh, what did I miss here? Mixed feelings about what Joan? I would be

jumping for joy if I got a response like that. Course, I'm not good at

reading between the lines and haven't encountered a lot of bad things yet.

Dh says I wear rose colored glasses! LOL

Gail :-)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/15/02 11:29:59 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

joan@... writes:

> It's hard. On one hand, I would feel so embarrassed and angry and that

> whole set of emotions that comes with having to confront yet another " new "

> issue b/c of disability stuff. On the other hand, you have a network there

> that can work with you and for ...and sounds fairly willing. Don't look

> for bad yet. Give them the benefit of the " I've never encountered this

> before " doubt.

>

Yes , this is what I would say. While I understand feeling embarrassed

and angry, I read care in her response. We know that people really have no

clue about what it's like for parents like us, but this is a start in

educating them. I think for 's sake, as well as YOUR sanity, it's a

very good idea to keep communications open with these neighbors and to remain

in a workable relationship with them. Thanks for sharing your situation and

how you are working it out with us; it helps all of us.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

Donna

[Guest guest]

I have mixed feelings, but am forcing myself back to that earlier life

before Ds and think that this sounds reasonable.

I also think it's good that you came up with a possible way of

communicating wiht your neighbors. I'd also make many copies of that

wandering issue so they know.

If there's a good way to communicate with , tell them what that is.

It's hard. On one hand, I would feel so embarrassed and angry and that

whole set of emotions that comes with having to confront yet another " new "

issue b/c of disability stuff. On the other hand, you have a network there

that can work with you and for ...and sounds fairly willing. Don't look

for bad yet. Give them the benefit of the " I've never encountered this

before " doubt.

many hugs,

j

At 10:29 AM 7/15/2002 -0500, you wrote:

>I e-mailed our neighborhood relations person to explain what had happend

and that I wanted to hand out flyers about and how to contact us and

this was the response I got about what had happend. Just thought those of

you who are concerned about what happend would like to know what did

happen. It makes me wonder how long he was gone. Thanks,

>

>

>

>-

>

>Actually, that neighbor came walking through the houses carrying his

toddler son asking if we might know who this little boy at his house

belonged to. Several of us Moms were outside on Pagewynne and two of us

left our children under the watch of the other Moms to go and see if we

knew him and could help. (I figured I know alot of the people and kids in

the neighborhood and might know him)

>

>When we got there, another neighbor was keeping from going into the

garage while the home owner went to find help. I didn't recognize , but

knew he had Downs Syndrome and thought it was dangerous that he was out

unsupervised- That he obviously had wandered away.

>

>The homeowner was very worried about being in his garage as he had

alot of stuff that kids could get into trouble with- ant killer, gasoline,

the usual garage/shed stuff.

>

>It was me who recommended that the police be called. None of us knew

and knew his parents would be worried that he was obviously somewhere he

shouldn't be. This homeowner said that this had happened once before and

that his Mother came and got last time- But he didn't know who you

were or where you lived. He had a small child and couldn't take care of

them both to find you.

>

>The police officer didn't know and seemed a little standoff-ish at

how to handle him. It was Sonya Terrell, the other Mom from Pagewynne, who

picked up and carried him with the police officer to your open garage.

walked right in and we figured that's how he had wandered away.

>

>The police were not called on you- We called them simply because we didn't

know where to find you. We asked several neighbors and no one knew him or

had seen anyone looking for him. We certainly would have called you had we

known who he was and had a phone number to call.

>

>I think distributing fliers about and how to contact you would be a

great idea. Your neighbors care about you and and I'm sure would be

glad to know him and who to contact should something like this happen again.

>

>Please let me know if there is anything we can do?

>

>Regards,

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

Maybe I'm totally nieve (I know I am), but it sounds sincere to me, and

totally plausible.

I think your idea of the flyer is great-maybe with a picture of on

it, to make it easier to identify him.

When we moved to this house 3 years ago, one of the first things I did

was go to neighbors who were sitting outside in the evening, and

introduce myself, telling them about Matt, that sometimes he wanders, and

if thye see him out without someone else with him, he escaped. They all

agreed to bring him back to me immediately.

Matt actually escaped once in Cincinnati and was gone for almost an hour.

I called the police when a quick sweep of the neighborhood didn't produce

him. We found him at a Mc's, about 1/4 mile away, inside with only

a tee-shirt and pull up on-no shorts, no shoes. The cops drove us home,

and I went to talk to the manager the next day. Seems he was in there for

over 1/2 hour. I asked him (After I took FULL responisbility for Matt

getting away from me) why they would not call the police if someone

obviously handicapped, young (Matt was 6, but looked about 4), not

properly dressed, etc... was just hanging out inside the store ALONE. He

blew it off, saying people drop kids off like that all the time, and

leave them for a couple of hours! I still left my phone number and a

picture of Matt, so if it ever happened again, they could call me. It

never did.

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[Guest guest]

Gail,

This is ME!

> Oh, what did I miss here? Mixed feelings about what Joan? I would

> be

> jumping for joy if I got a response like that. Course, I'm not good

> at

> reading between the lines and haven't encountered a lot of bad

> things yet.

> Dh says I wear rose colored glasses! LOL

> Gail :-)

>

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[Guest guest]

,

I realize it's still embarrassing, but I would accept the help and move on.

I would love it if someone in the neighborhood had shown that kind of

support.

As for how long was gone, it probably wasn't long. These decisions are

made in an instant, and police arrive pretty quickly when children are

concerned.

When Ian was missing and we called the police, they were there within 2-3

minutes, and Ian was found within 15. I know it seems longer, but things

tend to happen more quickly than we realize. Complete conversations can be

over within 45 seconds.

CK,

Mom to Ian (2/89),

(9/90),

and Rose (6/94)

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

This reminds me of one of those days when we had just moved in, in

the Fort Worth (Summerfield), on one of 's wandering off days.

Some lady came ringing the door bell carring a little boy in diaper

only ( was 2 1/2). As I approached the door, you can imagine

how I felt when I had realized it was my baby, she was holding. Thank

God she had some sense to ask a few neighbors and wondered if this

baby had belonged to the " newcomers " . Some welcome wagon. I was still

unpacking boxes as had managed to escape without anyone

noticing. I contacted Sears that very same day and ordered a good

screen door with several locks which does not include the main door

that I wanted replaced immediately. The salesperson said it'll take

some days for it to arrive, but as I was paying it. Of course, I had

to chat and then as he was returning my change. He said " I'll have

someone right over tomorrow to install your new door. " He was going

out of his way for 's safety. Then other neighbors whom I met

the following day that I found out later on were the ones who had

figured it was the new neighbor's baby as everyone said. Well, I had

to break the ice by introducing myself and of course just started

thanking them and then the rest of the issues streamed about them

getting to understand about . I'm glad things are working out

with your neighbors, . I say what you are planning is a great

idea. Its nice to have some extra eyes should it happen again.

Because our kids are pretty quick & sneaky when they want to do

something. In our new neighborhood here in San , is

older and it has cut down with him wandering off. But, in the

beginning when he did manage to escape, I caught him as I've been

like a hawk since that last " welcome wagon " . I had learned that there

are about 4 kids with autism living on the same street, get this I

did not know anything about autism. So do educate your neighbors.

has learned not to go outside. Somebody on this list had

mentioned a large picture of a stop sign with the line across, I

think it was Kathy. Well, at this point I know will not

understand it but if it becomes part of a daily routine he'll start

to understand you are to stop. Prayers that your dh's friend will be

able to help y'all out. You've mentioned you already have a contract

with some other alarm company, is there any way you could find out if

they have something available? Hugs.

Irma,13,DS/ASD