Re: need advice regarding school

[Guest guest]

Hi and all,

I originally posted the following on the 'atlantaocd'

group mailing list. I was referred to this group.

" My son Nat, age 12, was diagnosed with OCD last Aug.

School was not an option then but with therapy and

medication he was ready and willing to return to the

public school system this Jan.

Now much of the anxiety and some of the OCD behavior

are returning.

Though we were able to obtain an IEP with all the

accomodations our therapist recommended I am afraid

Nat is close to giving up on attending school. If he

is unwilling no amount of persuasion is going to work.

What has worked to keep anxiety down upon return to

school? What accomodations are key?

Nat does not like sitting in a classroom for hours as

his anxiety level spirals upwards. Has anyone found a

solution? What Cobb county area private schools might

meet Nat's needs?

Thanks in advance, "

I think our sons are having similar struggles. Nat

did see his therapist this morning and a couple of

suggestions were made:

1) Set a specific time to do homework each day.

2) Once that time has passed stop. Do as much as

possible but don't spend any more time on homework.

Nat really locks down doing school work when he is

anxious - nothing gets done. The therapist has found

that setting a time limit has let other students relax

and actually get more done in an hour than they would

otherwise do in a longer period.

Hope this helps,

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

My son is 12 years old AD/HD, OCD, Dysgraphia with no depth perception. In

his IEP's it states that if his anxiety level starts to rise he goes to the

library. He does not receive homework if there is something that he has to do

outside of school it is put in a folder in the office for us to pick up. He is

also given an extended period of time to finish all work. I stay in touch

everyday through e-mails with the teacher and school staff so I know long before

anything blows. No one knows your son like you do so ask to stay informed. We

have set everything up so that my son does not know, if he did it would trigger

his OCD. My son also runs cross country it has helped he has a great coach that

has become my sons mentor at school he has tried real hard to educate himself on

how to help him. They start every morning with a run at school and talk the

whole team now helps him thrugh the day. Good luck and just keep trying to find

something that works for your son at school.

Peggy

" W. Brigham " <wbrigham@...> wrote:

Peggy Lanford

254-697-8006

512-423-3872

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

My son is 12 years old AD/HD, OCD, Dysgraphia with no depth perception. In

his IEP's it states that if his anxiety level starts to rise he goes to the

library. He does not receive homework if there is something that he has to do

outside of school it is put in a folder in the office for us to pick up. He is

also given an extended period of time to finish all work. I stay in touch

everyday through e-mails with the teacher and school staff so I know long before

anything blows. No one knows your son like you do so ask to stay informed. We

have set everything up so that my son does not know, if he did it would trigger

his OCD. My son also runs cross country it has helped he has a great coach that

has become my sons mentor at school he has tried real hard to educate himself on

how to help him. They start every morning with a run at school and talk the

whole team now helps him thrugh the day. Good luck and just keep trying to find

something that works for your son at school.

Peggy

" W. Brigham " <wbrigham@...> wrote:

Peggy Lanford

254-697-8006

512-423-3872

[Guest guest]

,

According to what I've learned from our psychologist,

this is suppose to be the case. By going every day,

the anxiety should eventually lessen. In the meantime,

he could be working on some relaxation techniques.

Like deep breathing when his anxiety is high, or

clenching his hands/arms/legs/etc... and then

releasing. He might want to also keep track of his

anxiety in a journal; writing his level 1-10, how long

it takes to get the anxiety down, etc... by doing this

he can watch progress, difficulty, etc...).

While working on all of this I'd ask if his homework

load could be reduced.

I think that

> if I can keep him going his anxiety over it should

> get less. Am I

> wrong?

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

According to what I've learned from our psychologist,

this is suppose to be the case. By going every day,

the anxiety should eventually lessen. In the meantime,

he could be working on some relaxation techniques.

Like deep breathing when his anxiety is high, or

clenching his hands/arms/legs/etc... and then

releasing. He might want to also keep track of his

anxiety in a journal; writing his level 1-10, how long

it takes to get the anxiety down, etc... by doing this

he can watch progress, difficulty, etc...).

While working on all of this I'd ask if his homework

load could be reduced.

I think that

> if I can keep him going his anxiety over it should

> get less. Am I

> wrong?

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Jumping in here...

Has your son tried BuSpar for his OCD? My son was much the same as

yours - crying, frustrated, couldn't get out of the house to go t school

b/c iof OCD rituals. We made the decision to try BuSpar b/c we really

wanted to stay away from the ADs (bad exper w/Zoloft in the past).

BuSpar has worked like a dream. My son has been taking it for over a

year w/no return of the OCD.

Have you considered a virtual school program? Your son would be able to

work fairly independently and at his own pace.

Khris

ds 10 w/OCD/AS/BP

>

> Hi everyone. We are still struggling with getting my son to school

> each day. He can't hardly do any homework even on days when he is

> home all day. I asked him what he thought of homeschooling for a

> while. That set off a major anxiety attack. He begged me to never

> do that. He really wants to go to school, just can't stand the

> anxiety. We tried sending him back slowly, adding one class every

> couple of days. That didn't work. Then I tried telling him that he

> had to go everyday even if he had to call home after 1 class. I

> just wanted him to give it a try every day. That worked for a

> couple of days, then I just couldn't get him to go at all for a few

> days. Now I'm just really pushing him hard to go in the morning and

> if he makes it all day I've been offering rewards for his efforts.

> He's almost in tears and shaking when he goes. It absolutely brakes

> my heart. His ocd now doesn't like him phoning home so that makes

> it harder for him. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing

> pushing him so hard or if I'm just making him worse. I think that

> if I can keep him going his anxiety over it should get less. Am I

> wrong? I know that the more behind he gets the more anxiety he

> builds up about being behind. It's so frusturating. If he could

> concentrate enough to do just one hour of homework with me a day, it

> would be enough to keep him up without going to school. He's so

> smart but if they can't find a medication that will work for him, I

> honesty don't think he'll ever get through high school. He's gotten

> so tired of trying. I'll never know what it's like to sit through

> school having anxiety attacks, trying to hide them from everyone,

> and to be able to think and learn at the same time, but I know that

> it must be incredibly hard. I wish I knew if I'm doing the right or

> wrong thing. His teachers are very understanding but I can't think

> of anything they could do to help him. It accually sets off an

> anxiety attack if he thinks they're treating him any different.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Khris,

Some quick ideas (not really fair since it sounds like you're in need

in a big way):

Push hard to find a med combination that gives him some relief - is

an inpatient or outpatient treatment a possibility for you? Is your

doctor recognizing the crisis?

Just stop with school until the end of this quarter - sounds like

it's a nightmare to go and it's a nightmare to stay home knowing he's

supposed to be going.

Can you stay home with him?

You could set up a full schedule - the day mapped out - a walk to a

favorite park every day - swimming 3 times a week - one hour of art

or music a day (whatever it is that soothes him), this time is for

reading and this time is for drawing....this time is for writing

letters or drawing pictures for relatives.

Just take the pressure off until he finds some peace - is this

possible? Could his one hour a day at school be his favorite class?

Art or music or gym or the one with his favorite teacher?

What I'm thinking is that if no learning is really going on anyway

then you might as well focus on his peace and stress level . . . if

only for a few weeks.

I remember how impossibly hard it was to make my son go (fifth grade

I think it was) when he just couldn't bring himself to do it . . .

and I remember how impossibly hard it was for him to do his school

work - if he hadn't been willing to spend so much time with me

walking him through the material then there's no way he would have

done fifth grade.

Has he been sick a lot? (fifth grade was the year my son got virus

after virus - ocd through the roof).

Sorry I don't have more time.

Take care and honestly I'm pretty sure that this will all be behind

you and next year you'll be so grateful it's over and by two years

from now you won't have that " waiting for it to all happen again "

feeling.

I wish I could promise, but I'm pretty sure it's true!

> >

> > Hi everyone. We are still struggling with getting my son to school

> > each day. He can't hardly do any homework even on days when he is

> > home all day. I asked him what he thought of homeschooling for a

> > while. That set off a major anxiety attack. He begged me to never

> > do that. He really wants to go to school, just can't stand the

> > anxiety. We tried sending him back slowly, adding one class every

> > couple of days. That didn't work. Then I tried telling him that he

> > had to go everyday even if he had to call home after 1 class. I

> > just wanted him to give it a try every day. That worked for a

> > couple of days, then I just couldn't get him to go at all for a

few

> > days. Now I'm just really pushing him hard to go in the morning

and

> > if he makes it all day I've been offering rewards for his efforts.

> > He's almost in tears and shaking when he goes. It absolutely

brakes

> > my heart. His ocd now doesn't like him phoning home so that makes

> > it harder for him. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing

> > pushing him so hard or if I'm just making him worse. I think that

> > if I can keep him going his anxiety over it should get less. Am I

> > wrong? I know that the more behind he gets the more anxiety he

> > builds up about being behind. It's so frusturating. If he could

> > concentrate enough to do just one hour of homework with me a day,

it

> > would be enough to keep him up without going to school. He's so

> > smart but if they can't find a medication that will work for him,

I

> > honesty don't think he'll ever get through high school. He's

gotten

> > so tired of trying. I'll never know what it's like to sit through

> > school having anxiety attacks, trying to hide them from everyone,

> > and to be able to think and learn at the same time, but I know

that

> > it must be incredibly hard. I wish I knew if I'm doing the right

or

> > wrong thing. His teachers are very understanding but I can't think

> > of anything they could do to help him. It accually sets off an

> > anxiety attack if he thinks they're treating him any different.

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks . We have been doing this. 20 minutes is all we do and

only in the morning. Afternoons are to hard for him. Some days it

goes o.k. -- In , " W.

Brigham " <wbrigham@...> wrote:

>

> Hi and all,

>

> I originally posted the following on the 'atlantaocd'

> group mailing list. I was referred to this group.

>

> " My son Nat, age 12, was diagnosed with OCD last Aug.

> School was not an option then but with therapy and

> medication he was ready and willing to return to the

> public school system this Jan.

>

> Now much of the anxiety and some of the OCD behavior

> are returning.

>

> Though we were able to obtain an IEP with all the

> accomodations our therapist recommended I am afraid

> Nat is close to giving up on attending school. If he

> is unwilling no amount of persuasion is going to work.

>

> What has worked to keep anxiety down upon return to

> school? What accomodations are key?

>

> Nat does not like sitting in a classroom for hours as

> his anxiety level spirals upwards. Has anyone found a

> solution? What Cobb county area private schools might

> meet Nat's needs?

>

> Thanks in advance, "

>

> I think our sons are having similar struggles. Nat

> did see his therapist this morning and a couple of

> suggestions were made:

>

> 1) Set a specific time to do homework each day.

>

> 2) Once that time has passed stop. Do as much as

> possible but don't spend any more time on homework.

>

> Nat really locks down doing school work when he is

> anxious - nothing gets done. The therapist has found

> that setting a time limit has let other students relax

> and actually get more done in an hour than they would

> otherwise do in a longer period.

>

> Hope this helps,

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Aren't public schools supposed to provide an in-house tutor when a

child can't attend for a long period due to illness???

> >

> > Hi and all,

> >

> > I originally posted the following on the 'atlantaocd'

> > group mailing list. I was referred to this group.

> >

> > " My son Nat, age 12, was diagnosed with OCD last Aug.

> > School was not an option then but with therapy and

> > medication he was ready and willing to return to the

> > public school system this Jan.

> >

> > Now much of the anxiety and some of the OCD behavior

> > are returning.

> >

> > Though we were able to obtain an IEP with all the

> > accomodations our therapist recommended I am afraid

> > Nat is close to giving up on attending school. If he

> > is unwilling no amount of persuasion is going to work.

> >

> > What has worked to keep anxiety down upon return to

> > school? What accomodations are key?

> >

> > Nat does not like sitting in a classroom for hours as

> > his anxiety level spirals upwards. Has anyone found a

> > solution? What Cobb county area private schools might

> > meet Nat's needs?

> >

> > Thanks in advance, "

> >

> > I think our sons are having similar struggles. Nat

> > did see his therapist this morning and a couple of

> > suggestions were made:

> >

> > 1) Set a specific time to do homework each day.

> >

> > 2) Once that time has passed stop. Do as much as

> > possible but don't spend any more time on homework.

> >

> > Nat really locks down doing school work when he is

> > anxious - nothing gets done. The therapist has found

> > that setting a time limit has let other students relax

> > and actually get more done in an hour than they would

> > otherwise do in a longer period.

> >

> > Hope this helps,

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the advice. I've accually been trying to get him to do

deep breathing at home when he's having an anxiety attack and he

refuses to do it. Thought stopping has worked well for him in the

past and he knows it but he also refuses to do that now too. He

says that his ocd won't let him. I'll give the journal thing a

try. Thanks again.

>

> ,

>

> According to what I've learned from our psychologist,

> this is suppose to be the case. By going every day,

> the anxiety should eventually lessen. In the meantime,

> he could be working on some relaxation techniques.

> Like deep breathing when his anxiety is high, or

> clenching his hands/arms/legs/etc... and then

> releasing. He might want to also keep track of his

> anxiety in a journal; writing his level 1-10, how long

> it takes to get the anxiety down, etc... by doing this

> he can watch progress, difficulty, etc...).

>

> While working on all of this I'd ask if his homework

> load could be reduced.

>

>

> I think that

> > if I can keep him going his anxiety over it should

> > get less. Am I

> > wrong?

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Khris, I'll ask our doctor about BuSpar. I did a little reading on

it. I'm glad your son is doing so well. Did it take long for it to

work?

>

>

> Hi,

>

> Jumping in here...

>

> Has your son tried BuSpar for his OCD? My son was much the same as

> yours - crying, frustrated, couldn't get out of the house to go t

school

> b/c iof OCD rituals. We made the decision to try BuSpar b/c we

really

> wanted to stay away from the ADs (bad exper w/Zoloft in the past).

> BuSpar has worked like a dream. My son has been taking it for

over a

> year w/no return of the OCD.

>

> Have you considered a virtual school program? Your son would be

able to

> work fairly independently and at his own pace.

>

> Khris

>

> ds 10 w/OCD/AS/BP

>

>