Re: Pulling daughter out of shower.....

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/6/2006 11:36:06 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

lvanhoy35@... writes:

I'm holding on for the meds to kick in but also worring what if this isn't

working. will I be able to tell? I worry if I won't be albel to recognize if

the meds are not working.

Laurie

Well, you have to watch for subtle changes in her behavior or demeanor. The

first thing we noticed about our daughter after starting meds was that she

ignored her usual 'ritual' of saying good-bye & kissing & hugging us before we

left to go somewhere. Normally she would put off even going to the bathroom

if she knew we were leaving because it was imperative that she hug, kiss &

say good-bye " drive carefully " , JUST as we were walking out the door. This

HAD to happen. Well, one day we were going to ride (we both ride motorcycles)

and she ran right by us while announcing, " BYE MOM, BYE DAD - HAVE FUN.... "

and off she went to her room..............................

My husband & I just looked at each other with jaws on the ground & started

laughing.

The next instance we noticed was her return home from school one day.. in a

GOOD mood & her response to our daily question " how was school today

sweetie?? " was " Pretty good actually " instead of the usual grimacing

expression &

" it was SO hard... I had a quiz I couldn't finish, I have SO much homework -

I'm NEVER gonna get it done...blah blah blah "

So, as you can see, the first changes you see may not even be related to the

rituals or issues that are most prominent. (which, for my daughter is the

washing, showering, etc).

I was positively floored when I realized how much of her little life was

affected by OCD that we never even saw - until that medication kicked in.

Ironically, she's improved by leaps & bounds in every area OTHER than the

germs/washing/etc.

Just watch for little changes first. I think my daughter was on meds for

about 4-5 weeks before we started noticing the little things.

LT

[Guest guest]

I agree with LT on how much my son's life was affected by the anxiety of OCD

that we really weren't seeing since we were so concentrated on the

obsessions. I had to laugh at LT's example of the hug, kiss, routine out the

door.

My son had the VERY SAME need. You couldn't simply yell good-bye from the

door - he would literally get in front of you and turn your face so it was

facing him directly. That faded a long time ago... We also noted the subtle

change in his response to the the million dollar question " how was school

today. "

Usual response pre-med " boring. " Post med - okay, I guess... Just the

whole demeanor aspect is amazing. Anxiety really does place a huge burden on a

sufferer in the little things in life that we may take for granted.

Believe me, iwhen the medication " kicks in " you'll know it - most likely by

the initial subtle changes, not necessarily the obsessions or compulsions, but

little everyday things that you might not have noticed before until they are

actually gone. Kind of hard to explain, but when it happens you'll know.

In a message dated 4/6/2006 11:37:32 AM Central Standard Time, jtlt@...

writes:

was positively floored when I realized how much of her little life was

affected by OCD that we never even saw - until that medication kicked in.

[Guest guest]

Hi, lauire w/13yr dd dx feb 2006. here

I hear your frustration LT. My R just keeps asking what if's and is this ok?

it drives me bonkers. she had home work to do the other night and couldn't get

it done for asking me constantly stuff about if this or that touches her private

parts will she infect others if they touch it? I had to just leave for the store

and let her stay with her dad. He said she asked him stuff but it must not have

been as the stuff she asked me. she did get her homework done. I have to

constantly keep telling her she doesnt' have time for worry now, she must do...

what ever it is she has got to be doing.

brushing her teeth. my gosh. how many times have i told her to just brush.

between all the questions of worry and she just doesn't know what to do next.

I'm holding on for the meds to kick in but also worring what if this isn't

working. will I be able to tell? I worry if I won't be albel to reconize if the

meds are not working.

Pulling daughter out of shower.....

In a message dated 4/5/2006 1:59:53 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

k777thorpe@... writes:

.. . . then when the

minutes are up . . . come into the bathroom like a loud, obnoxious,

drill sargeant (dressed up in every piece of rain gear you can find)

and drag her out of the shower - wrap four towels around her and prod

her out of the bathroom!!!

-- P.

Wow. It took me a while for all this to sink in. Is this REALLY what they

have you do in ERP type therapy??? What do you do if you storm in there &

your kid is covered in soap?

Turning the hot water off won't help - in the beginning, when the showers

were REALLY bad (2-3 hours long), I found out she would stand in the shower

covered in soap with the water off and just wait for the hot water to come back

on. That's basically when I started going in & helping her 'move along' with

the process.

The worse times really are when she doesn't get in the shower until 9pm or

so - she's SO tired that she's frustrated just thinking about what she has to

do in there & that she might get " stuck " . Last night had the potential for

another horrible experience. She was ready to get in the shower & already

started to cry because she was so tired she knew she was going to have

problems.

And the night before was so traumatic for her (my forcing her to do it all

herself) she just cried & cried " please mom don't make me do it like last

night " .

Well, I laid down the law last night about when showers will be taken from

now on. After dinner - that's IT. I am so tired myself by 9pm or so, I just

want to sit & relax, not fight & scream at my daughter in the shower - so

THAT'S when I cave in. Anyway, I want to see if the earlier shower time helps

at all. Hopefully it will. I know *I* need to be stronger on making her do

it herself - and waiting until that time of night just doesn't help.

As much as I look forward to her start the therapy (ERP), I also am dreading

it a little - because I know it's not just her doing it, it will be me

participating in it as well and it will be hard for me too.

Her psychologist bumped her up to 40mg Prozac the other day...(did I already

say that on the board???) anyway, maybe we'll see more relief with that

dosage. Thanks for the advice on the shower...

LT

[Guest guest]

Just watch for little changes first. I think my daughter was on meds for

about 4-5 weeks before we started noticing the little things.

LT

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/6/2006 3:08:10 PM Eastern Standard Time,

lvanhoy35@... writes:

LT/ This makes week 4 for R and she has always been so up about her

friends at school.

This OCD just seems to act like a sleeping dragon we've woken up and he's

horrible.

Laurie

It may take longer for your child to respond to the meds. Give it some

time, but watch for any changes- bad or good - maybe the med isn't the right

one

for her, but you have to give it more time. Our psychiatrist originally said

it could take 8-12 weeks - but it's different for different people.

" Sleeping dragon " -- that's a good term for OCD!!!

LT

[Guest guest]

I have been reading emails but I have never responded til now. My daughter

who is 10 has the issues with showering. it takes her 30 minutes just to get in

the shower. then when finally in she takes a good 30 to 40 minutes use to be

20 minutes. we use to time her and pull her out after 30 min. it was

terrible she would turn into deamon child screaming, yelling, and hitting at

me. we

would have to fight with getting the bar of soap and wash rag out of the

shower. it has been a nightmare. she actually called 911 to tell them we did

not

let her finish washing. we had to explain that our child has OCD and is

struggling thinking she had only bathed for 3 minutes when it had really been

35

minutes. we have tried to find a therapist for the last 4 months. finally got

her on meds 10 days ago. can see a difference in behavior but not night time

routine. we have found a doc at Duke and possibly can put her in a study for

OCD.for now i refuse to pull her out until doc tells me to. it is to

dramatic and feel is doing more harm then good but i don " t know. i am grasping

for

straws and praying. i hope that one day we will wake up and the nightmare

will be gone for her and me. the hardest thing is for a mother to see her child

struggle every night and not being able to do a thing. I wish i could bathe

her every night but i can't. sorry for rambling!!!!

jennifer

[Guest guest]

Hi , I've read about the Duke studies at their website - I'm

in NC - and wish I lived closer (or had a more reliable car!). I

hope your daughter gets in the study. Are " studies " all they do, or

do they offer regular therapy aside from that??

I'm glad her medication is already making some difference. It

should make *more* difference as time passes and hopefully some of

it will ease up at night. I agree to your thought about waiting to

pull her out of the shower. The shower may be one of her hardest

(or the hardest) to begin to tackle (highest on her anxiety

hierarchy). I know with my son that bedtime seemed to be the

longest lasting problem with OCD (or maybe it was just hardest on

the both of us!). A good thing I noted with us is that as he

succeeded on some behaviors (even putting forth an effort), that

some compulsions/needs just went away and others seemed easier to

tackle. I think a little success helps them. Are there other

compulsions/needs she's working on? The shower could be something

she keeps in mind she *knows* to work on and perhaps can set some

smaller goals for herself, even just getting in 10 seconds faster or

something. I'm rambling I know, it's early!

Does she understand about OCD??

She sounds mature? I say that as I don't know too many 10 yr olds

that would think of calling 911 for other than fire/medical

emergencies.

Gotta get to work! Keep us updated please and (((hugs))) as it

really is soooo hard to watch our kids struggle. I'm not sure how

well I'd do with fighting what they are though I don't let my son

know that! Sigh, in fact I was just on him this past weekend about

his scrupulosity/religious issues!

>

> I have been reading emails but I have never responded til now. My

daughter

> who is 10 has the issues with showering. it takes her 30 minutes

just to get in

> the shower. then when finally in she takes a good 30 to 40

minutes use to be

> 20 minutes. we use to time her and pull her out after 30 min. it

was

> terrible she would turn into deamon child screaming, yelling, and

hitting at me. we

> would have to fight with getting the bar of soap and wash rag out

of the

> shower. it has been a nightmare. she actually called 911 to tell

them we did not

> let her finish washing. we had to explain that our child has OCD

and is

> struggling thinking she had only bathed for 3 minutes when it had

really been 35

> minutes. we have tried to find a therapist for the last 4 months.

finally got

> her on meds 10 days ago. can see a difference in behavior but not

night time

> routine. we have found a doc at Duke and possibly can put her in

a study for

> OCD.for now i refuse to pull her out until doc tells me to. it

is to

> dramatic and feel is doing more harm then good but i don " t know. i

am grasping for

> straws and praying. i hope that one day we will wake up and the

nightmare

> will be gone for her and me. the hardest thing is for a mother to

see her child

> struggle every night and not being able to do a thing. I wish i

could bathe

> her every night but i can't. sorry for rambling!!!!

>

>

> jennifer

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/9/2006 10:44:03 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

jdaniels1015@... writes:

I have been reading emails but I have never responded til now. My daughter

who is 10 has the issues with showering.

Oh boy... my heart goes out to you, because you're living my life, too. So,

your daughter has been recently diagnosed (in the last few months)? You are

very fortunate to live near a place like Duke!!!! There are some great

minds there for OCD research & treatment. Have you heard about Dr. March & his

studies?

In any event - you're in therapy for your daughter & that's a good thing.

What medication is she on? Mine is on 40 mg Prozac/day. We actually had a

GREAT day today -- which I will post about separately.

If you give me an idea of how long you've been reading posts, I can give you

a little background on my daughter privately (as I'm sure everyone on the

board is tired of hearing about it by now!!!! LOL).

Anyway, welcome.

LT

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/9/2006 10:44:03 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

jdaniels1015@... writes:

I have been reading emails but I have never responded til now. My daughter

who is 10 has the issues with showering.

Oh boy... my heart goes out to you, because you're living my life, too. So,

your daughter has been recently diagnosed (in the last few months)? You are

very fortunate to live near a place like Duke!!!! There are some great

minds there for OCD research & treatment. Have you heard about Dr. March & his

studies?

In any event - you're in therapy for your daughter & that's a good thing.

What medication is she on? Mine is on 40 mg Prozac/day. We actually had a

GREAT day today -- which I will post about separately.

If you give me an idea of how long you've been reading posts, I can give you

a little background on my daughter privately (as I'm sure everyone on the

board is tired of hearing about it by now!!!! LOL).

Anyway, welcome.

LT