living wth relative..

[Guest guest]

Has anyone sent an older (ocd) child to live with a relative (in

another state).

My sister and bil have had my 17 yr old visit them before (she liked

the privacy, own room etc, but cried due to stress of being away from

home-though she seemed to get on well with them) and have offered to

have her stay with them again (they have no children of their own due

to infertility).

She needs the basic support that a 17 yr old planning for future may

need (applying to college and/or maybe getting p/t job, learning to

drive, going to apptments, seeing guidance and admission personell at

Jr college, planning courses so she can transfer) plus attention for

her ocd and depressive and medical issues. I just cannot give her

enough of my time due to logistics of dealing with my younger kids

and esp my 13 yr old. Se refuses help from my husband b/c he has

insulted her too much in past(not accepring ocd).

My sister (who works part time her own hours) thinks she can help my

daughter with these things, plus get her to therapy apptments and p-

doc (if we can choose those people from afar?). (My sister sees a

therapist herself for anxiety but it is well treated)

Basically my 13 yr old with an ocd/eating disorder requires

continuous supervison and monitoring throughout each day, meal by

meal, to keep her eating, until her weight gets better than

borderline (we've tried IP, OP, therapy etc, finally at home she's

gained 10 lbs, but still under 5th percentile). Her mood issues are

alot more severe with low weight. This is going to take a long time.

Plus my 9 yr old son has growing anxiety issues and is not wanting to

leave the house much. The are also my younger kids-thus not enough

time for my 17 yr old who hasn't alot of capability to push herself

(for example cannot drive) b/c she tends to avoid things and divert

me from challenging her, and so needs a lot of support.

The other factor with my 13 and 17 yr old, that I have mentioned here

before, is that my 13 yr old obsessively copies my 17 yr old,

especially in eating, and we can only diminish it by separating them

(they can never eat together b/c it reinforces the ocd). It is very

intrusive (though we've minimized effects alot with different

strategies) and makes life so unnatural for my 17 yr old, kind of

like being stalked. So this is another reason things might go better

if my 17 yr old gets away.

I think part of my question is how does one get the proper medical

care and p-doc etc, if your child is living with someone else, and

will she still be our dependent, or would we have guardianship issues

to work out. How can we transfer all her care to another set of

adults?