Re: Doing Okay/Better

[Guest guest]

Nice to hear from you, Chris. I was thinking about your son and the

scrupulosity. I wonder if some of it might be related to the aspergers. My son

(an aspie too) doesn't do well with shades of gray. And we all know, religion is

one of the grayest areas out there. My son went the opposite way of yours. He

decided there were too many contractictions (like cooking on Sunday) and

therefore, it must all be wrong. I've tried to get him to accept that it's not

black and white, that you can have faith but not believe or follow 'to the

letter' but it didn't wash. Maybe your son is struggling with this in his own

way, too? Also, did you give the young minister some info on AS? I was very

disappointed in how our church handled my son. I blame myself for not giving

them clear info on implications of AS and religious belief, and in the end,

there was never a connection made. If this minister has made a connection, it

may be made stronger by educating him on your son's unique brain wiring.

kimz

Doing Okay/Better

Just catching up here on (17) who recently began some

religion/scrupulosity issues with OCD flaring back up.

The eating problems are better (YAY) after talking that first time

to the minister (coworker's husband).

He asked to talk with him again and I set that up on the 19th. The

minister spent 2 HOURS with ! Nice man, poor guy! I say the

latter as he must wonder if is " simple " in some ways (which

I guess he is, that Aspergers Syndrome part of him) but also in that

he (minister) can't comprehend how ridiculous OCD can sometimes be.

talked to him alone a bit and then I went in, probably the

last hour or so. still has a problem with feeling he has to

think/live God 24/7 and we talked about that. That helped, but

is still struggling with that; still neglecting schoolwork

some, doing it but putting it off if it's not due til later. Still

avoiding TV shows he used to watch, flipping it on religious

channels. Simple things like " Sunday is a day of rest. " So should

mom even cook? Or that he judges people, e.g., hearing others make

fun of a person, thinking they are not being nice, should he say

something..., i.e., Bible says you shouldn't judge so HE shouldn't

be judging others.... The 24/7 thing is bothering me/him the most I

think. ME in that he is not enjoying things he used to, whether TV

or schoolwork (my A+ son, only one who enjoys school of 3 sons), etc.

We went to a nearby church yesterday that lots of teens he knows

goes to since he's wanting to go. I think it'll be good for him.

He's mentioned over the years, wanting to go. And hopefully it will

clear some things up and also help him feel he is doing something

good, but also see/hear others, etc. The group of teens know him

from school, and I feel the girls will nurture/mother him a bit,

make sure he's included, and I think he'll probably want to go to

the Youth Group things. (Aspergers plus some shyness don't help

socially, he has had no social life/friends since elementary

school)

I've told him more than once recently I want to see him go back to

smiling and hear him laugh. I'm sure many of you are familiar with

that!

Well, lunch hour is about over, but that's about where we are right

now!

(excuse typing, hurriedly done!)

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[Guest guest]

Hi this sounds very similar to phases my d has been through

(also with possible AS spectrum ). I removed saints biographies etc

for awhile b/c they contritibuted to comparing/self judgementalism.

In our our case a priest can be very helpful b/c trained to recognize

scrupulosity as a clinical OCD issue (but spiritual healing is also a

component). My d has seen the priest in past and stated (in

amazement) that many of her rituals just " fell away " , but then they

do creep back over time. I need to have her do this again, but we

have so sidelined by the severity of the ED. What you mentioned about

youth group sounds like a good idea, in that the kids may be more

protective towards someone a bit socially different, maybe I should

look into this further for my d who generally avoids all group

activities.

nancy grace

>

> Just catching up here on (17) who recently began some

> religion/scrupulosity issues with OCD flaring back up.

>

> The eating problems are better (YAY) after talking that first time

> to the minister (coworker's husband).

>

> He asked to talk with him again and I set that up on the 19th. The

> minister spent 2 HOURS with ! Nice man, poor guy! I say

the

> latter as he must wonder if is " simple " in some ways (which

> I guess he is, that Aspergers Syndrome part of him) but also in

that

> he (minister) can't comprehend how ridiculous OCD can sometimes

be.

>

> talked to him alone a bit and then I went in, probably the

> last hour or so. still has a problem with feeling he has

to

> think/live God 24/7 and we talked about that. That helped, but

> is still struggling with that; still neglecting schoolwork

> some, doing it but putting it off if it's not due til later. Still

> avoiding TV shows he used to watch, flipping it on religious

> channels. Simple things like " Sunday is a day of rest. " So should

> mom even cook? Or that he judges people, e.g., hearing others make

> fun of a person, thinking they are not being nice, should he say

> something..., i.e., Bible says you shouldn't judge so HE shouldn't

> be judging others.... The 24/7 thing is bothering me/him the most

I

> think. ME in that he is not enjoying things he used to, whether TV

> or schoolwork (my A+ son, only one who enjoys school of 3 sons),

etc.

>

> We went to a nearby church yesterday that lots of teens he knows

> goes to since he's wanting to go. I think it'll be good for him.

> He's mentioned over the years, wanting to go. And hopefully it

will

> clear some things up and also help him feel he is doing something

> good, but also see/hear others, etc. The group of teens know him

> from school, and I feel the girls will nurture/mother him a bit,

> make sure he's included, and I think he'll probably want to go to

> the Youth Group things. (Aspergers plus some shyness don't help

> socially, he has had no social life/friends since elementary

> school)

>

> I've told him more than once recently I want to see him go back to

> smiling and hear him laugh. I'm sure many of you are familiar with

> that!

>

> Well, lunch hour is about over, but that's about where we are right

> now!

>

>

> (excuse typing, hurriedly done!)

>