Re: Child Support and Residentail???

[Guest guest]

From my experience, child support obligations would not be effected/excused.

Your daughter will be entering a treatment program, much like if she were

being hospitalized for an ailment. You would still be maintaining her " home "

and like you mention responsible for expenses. In theory, he can apply to

the courts, but I doubt he'd have much luck. Something else you might look

into - is your personal insurance paying for this or are you under the

impression you have to? The usual course is once the child is enrolled

full-time they

are placed on Medicaid and Medicaid pays the actual living expense portion

of the program and your school district is responsible for paying tuition for

her schooling component of the program. Once they are residential, they are

usually also alloted a small stipend amount for clothing (this money goes

directly to the school and is placed in an acct that they use on her behalf).

All of this should be taken care of through the residential program office.

I'm glad to hear you found a place closer. How is reacting/handling

the news? Remember, the initial send-off will be a tearful one and this is

to be expected, BUT - in the long run things will work out. I still remember

the day I dropped my daughter off - I felt sick, but knew it was the right

thing to do. A few years later and I know most definitely it was the right

thing and actually the turning point.

I wish you luck... keep us updated and know we're here to lean on. You've

made a TOUGH decision, probably one of the toughest you'll ever make as a

parent, but find comfort in the fact you've made it out of love. Your daughter

will come to realize this too eventually - I promise you!

Take care of yourself.

In a message dated 2/13/2006 3:51:11 PM Central Standard Time,

Kidztalent@... writes:

Anyway....if anyone here has any experience with this....please let me know.

[Guest guest]

Thank you .

I hope the ex's child support will continue though I'm sure he's already got

paperwork started. I would laugh if he ended up paying more though since he

remarried a few years ago....though I'm not sure if his wives income would

count now.

No, my insurance doesn't pay for this. The AB3632 bill covers it because it

is technically school, but my insurance is responsible for any medication's or

doctor visits, etc. I would guess that if I didn't have my own insurance

that MediCAL or Medicaid, would then cover it. I'm not sure if this AB3632 bill

is just CA. or a national bill....but because it is part of her " free and

appropriate education in the least restrictive environment " , she is entitled to

it being covered by this bill. Our school district covers certain

non-public therapeutic schools...(both in-state as well as out of state) if

" normal "

school does not work out due to the child's issues...whatever they may be. Out

of state facilities are more restrictive because they are lock-down, whereas

CA. does not have lock-down facilities because it is against CA. law. So

many parents, as well as the residential placement people in our school

district, prefer to just send them straight to a lock-down place, usually in

Utah or

Colorado. I just decided that I'd rather try in-state, or more local, even

though they are not lock-down because does not have any history of

actually running away. I just can't bring myself to send her out of state. The

place I decided on said they make very difficult for kids to run away because

it is located 7 miles way up the mountain.....and far from anything. When I

visited it, I kind of chuckled to myself....because it is really way out there

in the middle of no where. It's so far up the mountain that the view of the

valley really makes it very serene too. I wish I check MYSELF into the

place!! LOL

I'm not sure about the clothing allotment but they did say the kids are

given an allowance of $7 a week plus they can also work a job on campus and get

paid. They said right now they need a teen to tutor the 6 and 7 year olds and

will get paid minimum wage. loves little kids, so I hope she'll put her

anger aside and take advantage of this.

is up and down about going. One day she'll say she's not going....and

the next she's saying something to the effect about being there. I'm not

sure how Wednesday will go when it's time to actually leave home. I know it

will

be hard on both of us. I feel so empty inside.....like I'm grieving or

something...but at the same time, I also know that I am trying to save her life.

It will kill me to drive away and leave her there. It's just going to be so

hard without hearing her voice saying all the silly thing's she says. She does

make me laugh on a daily basis. But it will also be nice to not have the

arguing. Well, the arguing with anyway. My stepdaughter is quickly

becoming

extremely difficult too.....in a different way than though with all

her constant lying and sneakiness. always seemed to tattle on herself.

She really never had the lying or sneakiness like my stepdaughter. So....life

at home will still be quite challenging.

I'll let you know how Wednesday goes.

[Guest guest]

Thank you .

I hope the ex's child support will continue though I'm sure he's already got

paperwork started. I would laugh if he ended up paying more though since he

remarried a few years ago....though I'm not sure if his wives income would

count now.

No, my insurance doesn't pay for this. The AB3632 bill covers it because it

is technically school, but my insurance is responsible for any medication's or

doctor visits, etc. I would guess that if I didn't have my own insurance

that MediCAL or Medicaid, would then cover it. I'm not sure if this AB3632 bill

is just CA. or a national bill....but because it is part of her " free and

appropriate education in the least restrictive environment " , she is entitled to

it being covered by this bill. Our school district covers certain

non-public therapeutic schools...(both in-state as well as out of state) if

" normal "

school does not work out due to the child's issues...whatever they may be. Out

of state facilities are more restrictive because they are lock-down, whereas

CA. does not have lock-down facilities because it is against CA. law. So

many parents, as well as the residential placement people in our school

district, prefer to just send them straight to a lock-down place, usually in

Utah or

Colorado. I just decided that I'd rather try in-state, or more local, even

though they are not lock-down because does not have any history of

actually running away. I just can't bring myself to send her out of state. The

place I decided on said they make very difficult for kids to run away because

it is located 7 miles way up the mountain.....and far from anything. When I

visited it, I kind of chuckled to myself....because it is really way out there

in the middle of no where. It's so far up the mountain that the view of the

valley really makes it very serene too. I wish I check MYSELF into the

place!! LOL

I'm not sure about the clothing allotment but they did say the kids are

given an allowance of $7 a week plus they can also work a job on campus and get

paid. They said right now they need a teen to tutor the 6 and 7 year olds and

will get paid minimum wage. loves little kids, so I hope she'll put her

anger aside and take advantage of this.

is up and down about going. One day she'll say she's not going....and

the next she's saying something to the effect about being there. I'm not

sure how Wednesday will go when it's time to actually leave home. I know it

will

be hard on both of us. I feel so empty inside.....like I'm grieving or

something...but at the same time, I also know that I am trying to save her life.

It will kill me to drive away and leave her there. It's just going to be so

hard without hearing her voice saying all the silly thing's she says. She does

make me laugh on a daily basis. But it will also be nice to not have the

arguing. Well, the arguing with anyway. My stepdaughter is quickly

becoming

extremely difficult too.....in a different way than though with all

her constant lying and sneakiness. always seemed to tattle on herself.

She really never had the lying or sneakiness like my stepdaughter. So....life

at home will still be quite challenging.

I'll let you know how Wednesday goes.

[Guest guest]

,

This would be a good time to look into the tax implications for you -

federal and state - if at the end of this year you are able to claim

her as a dependent within the rules of federal and state then I can't

imagine why he wouldn't be required to pay child support for her.

There are usually advice-giving non-profit family law locations

scattered about - if you call your nearest law school they'll direct

you to someone to talk to - Or, just go on the website of that

school, find a couple professors who specialize in family law and

email them. They are usually very aware of all local activity with

family law and can guide you to someone to answer your questions.

If your city is anything like my city (overwhelmed, underfunded and

hopelessly inept) they aren't likely to be a good source of

information - though it's possible they have a website set up with a

faq section that will guide you.

Let me know what you come up with - if you get desperate then let me

know, I have a little background in it and though I don't know the

answers, I do know where to find them and I'd be happy to spend some

time on it for you if you're in need.

I understand your attitude towards HIS attitude toward child support -

but don't scoff at 300 a month - I've never gotten more than

160 . . . can't say I ever really looked forward to them but they

came in handy a few times - plus he's never resented it (or told me

about it) so I've given him the dignity of never belittling his

contribution. . . out loud.

>

> Well.... is scheduled to enter a residential facility this

Wed. I did

> speak to the school placement woman though about checking out more

local

> in-state facilities though rather than sending her off to Utah. I

just couldn't

> bring myself to do that. So she is going to a place in the Los

Angeles area

> that is less-restrictive than the lock-down places in Utah. With

this place,

> she will be able to earn weekend passes where she can come home

for anywhere

> from 8 hours to the entire weekend. And eventually to out-patient

rather than

> in-patient.

> Surprisingly enough....actually not at all surprising.....all the

ex

> ('s Dad) is concerned about is " will he still have to pay

child support? " He

> still wants her to go off to Utah............I guess cause he'd be

able to

> tell the court she is not living at home anymore. The in-state

facility called

> me to tell me that her father contacted them and it seemed as

though all he

> was concerned about is child support. She was shocked.....I told

her I

> wasn't....I knew that was all that mattered to him. Does anyone

here know how that

> works? Would he still have to pay child support? I will still be

responsible

> for 's insurance, co-payments, clothing, toiletries, taking

her to

> doctor/dentist, some of her special food (since she is a Vegan),

and of course when

> she's home on weekends. I could care less about his piddley little

$300

> month child support payment.....but if that is all that matters to

him.....then

> I'd rather he stop paying the support and simply cut his strings

with her. She

> wants absolutely NOTHING to do with him anyway. He is going to be

really MAD

> when she gets in there and he finds out that she doesn't even want

him on

> her phone call list. I'll get all the threats from him over that.

> Anyway....if anyone here has any experience with this....please

let me know.

> Thanks,

> /CA

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Try to find some time to picture 10 years from now -

will be doing three things you never even thought to dream for

her (designing nascar uniforms, attending law school, building a pool

in the backyard for her two kids and 1 foster child). . . she'll be

doing two things you always hoped for her (being happy and talking to

you about how her son seems to be the one on the playground that

always includes everyone in the group games) . . . she'll already

have achieved (and surpassed) her potential on some things, still

working on some of them, and then there are those few things about

her that never quite seem to work out (just quirkiness now!).

And you'll sit with her at the playground watching her children play,

talking to her, and think about that time when you did this for her -

how hard and scary it was - and that this is your reward!

>

> Thank you .

> I hope the ex's child support will continue though I'm sure he's

already got

> paperwork started. I would laugh if he ended up paying more though

since he

> remarried a few years ago....though I'm not sure if his wives

income would

> count now.

> No, my insurance doesn't pay for this. The AB3632 bill covers it

because it

> is technically school, but my insurance is responsible for any

medication's or

> doctor visits, etc. I would guess that if I didn't have my own

insurance

> that MediCAL or Medicaid, would then cover it. I'm not sure if

this AB3632 bill

> is just CA. or a national bill....but because it is part of

her " free and

> appropriate education in the least restrictive environment " , she is

entitled to

> it being covered by this bill. Our school district covers certain

> non-public therapeutic schools...(both in-state as well as out of

state) if " normal "

> school does not work out due to the child's issues...whatever they

may be. Out

> of state facilities are more restrictive because they are lock-

down, whereas

> CA. does not have lock-down facilities because it is against CA.

law. So

> many parents, as well as the residential placement people in our

school

> district, prefer to just send them straight to a lock-down place,

usually in Utah or

> Colorado. I just decided that I'd rather try in-state, or more

local, even

> though they are not lock-down because does not have any

history of

> actually running away. I just can't bring myself to send her out

of state. The

> place I decided on said they make very difficult for kids to run

away because

> it is located 7 miles way up the mountain.....and far from

anything. When I

> visited it, I kind of chuckled to myself....because it is really

way out there

> in the middle of no where. It's so far up the mountain that the

view of the

> valley really makes it very serene too. I wish I check MYSELF

into the

> place!! LOL

> I'm not sure about the clothing allotment but they did say the kids

are

> given an allowance of $7 a week plus they can also work a job on

campus and get

> paid. They said right now they need a teen to tutor the 6 and 7

year olds and

> will get paid minimum wage. loves little kids, so I hope

she'll put her

> anger aside and take advantage of this.

> is up and down about going. One day she'll say she's not

going....and

> the next she's saying something to the effect about being there.

I'm not

> sure how Wednesday will go when it's time to actually leave home. I

know it will

> be hard on both of us. I feel so empty inside.....like I'm grieving

or

> something...but at the same time, I also know that I am trying to

save her life.

> It will kill me to drive away and leave her there. It's just going

to be so

> hard without hearing her voice saying all the silly thing's she

says. She does

> make me laugh on a daily basis. But it will also be nice to not

have the

> arguing. Well, the arguing with anyway. My stepdaughter is

quickly becoming

> extremely difficult too.....in a different way than though

with all

> her constant lying and sneakiness. always seemed to tattle

on herself.

> She really never had the lying or sneakiness like my stepdaughter.

So....life

> at home will still be quite challenging.

> I'll let you know how Wednesday goes.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

-

Your words were sooo encouraging and uplifting.... I remember sitting in the

hospital when my grandson was born and thinking similar thoughts... My

daughter and I talk about often and laugh - yes laugh- about when I sent her to

XXX...and some of the experiences she encountered there. She always has a soft

spot for the kid who seems lonely or like " somethings " wrong. Today's

experiences may be extremely hard for them and even seem unfair, but in the

years

ahead they really do make sense.

In a message dated 2/13/2006 10:46:21 PM Central Standard Time,

k777thorpe@... writes:

And you'll sit with her at the playground watching her children play,

talking to her, and think about that time when you did this for her -

how hard and scary it was - and that this is your reward!

[Guest guest]

-

I'm sitting here laughing... as rough and tough as my daughter appeared to

the outside world, she never lied - like your she always tattled on

herself! LOL.

You're going to be fine and so will she. I'll keep you in my thoughts and

look forward to hearing how it goes Wednesday. Remember - this is the

beginning of all the good things to come for !

In a message dated 2/13/2006 10:28:59 PM Central Standard Time,

Kidztalent@... writes:

always seemed to tattle on herself.

She really never had the lying or sneakiness like my stepdaughter.

So....life

at home will still be quite challenging.

I'll let you know how Wednesday goes

[Guest guest]

-

I especially like your reference to the " quirkiness. " My daughter has these

instances, but she is able to cope and they don't spiral into a crisis

anymore. In fact, we share quite a few laughs over them - LOL. Who'd have

every

thought.

I wish I had read an e-mail such as yours seven years ago when I made the

decision to place my daughter in a residential facility. Back then - I know

there were people who thought " how could she. " I still remember to this day

the sick feeling in my stomach when the day came for her to go. Your " vision "

was so on the money in our case/experience - and I just KNOW will be the case

for and !

In a message dated 2/14/2006 8:40:52 AM Central Standard Time,

k.zarzour@... writes:

she'll already

have achieved (and surpassed) her potential on some things, still

working on some of them, and then there are those few things about

her that never quite seem to work out (just quirkiness now!).

[Guest guest]

Geez, , you DO know how to bring tears to a person's eyes!

Try to find some time to picture 10 years from now -

will be doing three things you never even thought to dream for

her (designing nascar uniforms, attending law school, building a pool

in the backyard for her two kids and 1 foster child). . . she'll be

doing two things you always hoped for her (being happy and talking to

you about how her son seems to be the one on the playground that

always includes everyone in the group games) . . . she'll already

have achieved (and surpassed) her potential on some things, still

working on some of them, and then there are those few things about

her that never quite seem to work out (just quirkiness now!).

And you'll sit with her at the playground watching her children play,

talking to her, and think about that time when you did this for her -

how hard and scary it was - and that this is your reward!

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

(((hugs))) as I'm sure it'll be hard on the actual day she leaves,

but just keep picturing that serene view you mentioned.

And I'm sure lots of kids have a few days of anxiety (new place)

before they settle into routine, sort of like starting each school

year, even a new school (middle, high). They soon settle in and

nerves calm down. I hope takes up with tutoring the younger

kids too, she's a smart girl.

Hang in there and let us know how things go.

>

>The

> place I decided on said they make very difficult for kids to run

away because

> it is located 7 miles way up the mountain.....and far from

anything. When I