Re: Any Ministers Here??

[Guest guest]

Hi Chris! I know I'm no expert, but I've been reading YOUR advice for a

long time! :-) Sounds like scrupulocity issues, right? Does your

therapist know how to fight those issues with therapy? I know my pdoc

doesn't and I'd have to quickly try and find someone. When my DD was 7

and stopped eating, sounds just like your son except her fear was

vomiting, no amount of rational speaking was going to help. And it took

me a long time to figure that out. He just isn't going to suddenly

understand what you are saying and start adding those foods back. My

daughter needed medication and therapy. Didn't he just taper off meds

last spring? It is so scary when they won't eat. Food is a constant

thing we have to deal with multiple times a day and it can be such a

power struggle. In my limited experience with my daughter, she kept

eliminating foods until there was nothing left and there was just no way

I could get her to eat what her brain was telling her not to eat. And

it didn't matter WHO was telling her it was okay--Dr., therapist,

clergy, principal (that was lovely when he walked into the lunchroom and

made eating motions at her!), she simply couldn't turn off the voice in

her head telling her it would make her vomit. So, I wouldn't think what

a minister would say would make a difference. I'm sorry about your

struggles! Meds have done wonders for our DD and she eats like a

regular kid now.

Dina

[Guest guest]

Hi, Chris.

I've been reading about your recent struggles, and though you always sound

upbeat, I

know this must be hard for you. We are still hanging in there and my daughter

is still

doing much better, but I seem to have some sort of post traumatic stress thing

from

before and during her hospitalization. Well, according to my therapist, it

makes sense,

seeing as our house was exactly like a war zone. Anyway, I am battling my own

depression, now, and some very unwanted memory flashes, but I am trying to stay

positive.

But on to your question about the minister. I say find one. You may remember

that my

daughter's scrupulosity revolves around veganism, and worries about

contamination from

animal products in food, and also riding on leather car seats, etc. Well, while

she was at

Menninger and not making progress, I emailed the director of a group called

Vegan

Outreach and told him what was going on. I asked him if he could write to my

daughter

and let her know that what she was doing was OCD, and not veganism. He send

back a 3

page email for me to send to her, complimenting her on her idealism and

compassion,

while very gently letting her know that all the vegans he knew, many of whom

were

directors of major vegan organizations like himself, would eat in the homes of

non-

vegans, ride on leather car seats, take medications, and basically just do the

best they

could to alleviate the suffering of animals. He made her see that veganism was

not about

how perfect vegan you could be. It was about asking yourself what you could do

to help

alleviate the suffering of animals, while still taking good care of yourself.

I can't remember the entire letter, and when I gave it to her she was furious,

but soon

afterward she began to comply with the therapists at the hospital and sleep in

the bed,

even though they might wash the sheets with animal products, and eat off of

their dishes,

etc. I think that where scrupulosity is concerned, it does help to have an

" authority " figure

tell them that it's okay to do certain things. They need to know what's

" normal " for a

vegan to do, or a Christian to do, or whatever, because the scrupulosity has

truly made

them loose sight of that.

I think you could go to a local church (maybe ask a friend for one where the

minister is

warm and welcoming) and explain your situation and ask him or her to help you

out.

Good luck...I think scrupulosity is so hard to deal with. I'm thinking of

you...

Alene

>

> OK, so now we are dealing with eating problems.

>

> Quick background/summary: is now in 11th grade. OCD, the

> disorder, officially began (had always had a bit) in 6th grade.

> also has Aspergers (on autism spectrum), so sometimes that is

> thrown into the mix here. His only social outlet is his school

> fencing club; no friends, social life, online chatting or anything.

> He's always had a VERY limited diet. Food texture part of the

> problem, chewing, and then I guess taste too, hard to get him to try

> new foods. Quick rundown of most eaten foods: Chicken (fried,

> nuggets, patties); soft tacos (only time he gets any beef); mac &

> cheese; potatos (fries, baked, mashed); Ham & Cheese Hot Pockets;

> cheese pizza; biscuits; hot dogs with mayo; corn dogs; vanilla ice

> cream; some pasta like Fettucine Alfredo, Lipton Chicken Noodles; a

> few things I can't think of now too, but no fruits, veges (I'm not a

> vege eater either much).

>

> So - OCD has been acting up now. AND has been reading the

> Bible nightly pretty much this past year or so at bedtime.

>

> Well - apparently WAY back in elementary school and then also in 8th

> grade he had sworn some things to God. Things he ignored or had

> forgotten about until now. In 8th grade he swore he wouldn't take

> fencing. And in elementary school, that he wouldn't eat ham (which

> by the way, ham sandwiches were his only lunch, only thing he would

> eat). NOW he is not ignoring those " oaths " anymore. Suddenly he

> can't go to fencing. And he can't eat Hot Pockets (the ham); can't

> eat something that might not be unleavened; isn't sure about tacos

> due to beef, and then there's the cheese and lettuce; oh, I got him

> to eat a baked potato tonite but NO margarine, he isn't sure about

> it. He's not eating lunch at school (only ate cheese pizza and/or

> fries).

>

> Now - even though perhaps it was OCD that made him " swear to God " ,

> knock OCD out of the picture, the point is he DID swear to God and he

> now feels he has to abide by it (though he hadn't been). So for him,

> forget OCD making him do it, he " swore. "

>

> So this week I began being very understanding, talking about what God

> would want for him, etc. Then I lost some patience and was more to

> the point. Of course that solves nothing.

>

> We don't go to church so I have no minister to immediately call on.

> I've been out of work sick this week (caught what had on the

> weekend and can't shake the fever). I did go in for 2 hours this

> a.m. There's a coworker whose husband is a minister, but they are

> out of town for the week!

>

> SIGH! 's always had a bit of scrupulosity. He stayed home

> from fencing Monday night, and I guess he'll stay home tomorrow

> (twice a week they meet). I'm not sure he's 100% recovered from

> this " bug " he had and I have so I'm sort of not pushing it for now.

>

> But with his limited diet, he's knocking out the few foods he has,

> worrying about " unleavened " and ham or beef and chicken (for whatever

> reason) and so on. I've told him he is NOT Jewish or Hindu or

> whatever, but the point for him is he did " swear " and also some of it

> being what the Bible says. SIGH!!

>

> I need someone with some " God clout " so to speak to tell him it's OK

> NOT to keep those oaths he swore and explain why, I can't get through

> to him.

>

> Just had to vent!

>

>

> (hanging in!)

>

[Guest guest]

I don't know if you would be interested, but there is a group in

groups called the scrupe group. The moderator is Bob Waters,

and he has OCD, and he is a Lutheran minister. You might want to

check the group out. I follow the posts since my son has some of the

same issues as people on it do. However, my son doesn't participate

in the group because he is only 12 and these members are primarly

adults. You could email the moderator to get his take on your

situation, and it may also be a place can go to for scrupe

support as he gets older, if not now. Scrupulosity issues, such as

what has expressed, are harder to deal with using ERP than

most other OCD issues because there is no proof that the worst fear

won't come true - you won't know until after you die. He feels he

has made a promise to God and feels he would be letting God down,

etc., etc. if he backs out on that promise now. You definitely could

use a good minister who ALSO understands OCD and how it affects one's

faith. I'm still looking for that person in my community - but

unfortunately haven't found it yet. Good Luck.

>

> OK, so now we are dealing with eating problems.

>

> Quick background/summary: is now in 11th grade. OCD, the

> disorder, officially began (had always had a bit) in 6th grade.

> also has Aspergers (on autism spectrum), so sometimes that

is

> thrown into the mix here. His only social outlet is his school

> fencing club; no friends, social life, online chatting or

anything.

> He's always had a VERY limited diet. Food texture part of the

> problem, chewing, and then I guess taste too, hard to get him to

try

> new foods. Quick rundown of most eaten foods: Chicken (fried,

> nuggets, patties); soft tacos (only time he gets any beef); mac &

> cheese; potatos (fries, baked, mashed); Ham & Cheese Hot Pockets;

> cheese pizza; biscuits; hot dogs with mayo; corn dogs; vanilla ice

> cream; some pasta like Fettucine Alfredo, Lipton Chicken Noodles; a

> few things I can't think of now too, but no fruits, veges (I'm not

a

> vege eater either much).

>

> So - OCD has been acting up now. AND has been reading the

> Bible nightly pretty much this past year or so at bedtime.

>

> Well - apparently WAY back in elementary school and then also in

8th

> grade he had sworn some things to God. Things he ignored or had

> forgotten about until now. In 8th grade he swore he wouldn't take

> fencing. And in elementary school, that he wouldn't eat ham (which

> by the way, ham sandwiches were his only lunch, only thing he would

> eat). NOW he is not ignoring those " oaths " anymore. Suddenly he

> can't go to fencing. And he can't eat Hot Pockets (the ham); can't

> eat something that might not be unleavened; isn't sure about tacos

> due to beef, and then there's the cheese and lettuce; oh, I got him

> to eat a baked potato tonite but NO margarine, he isn't sure about

> it. He's not eating lunch at school (only ate cheese pizza and/or

> fries).

>

> Now - even though perhaps it was OCD that made him " swear to God " ,

> knock OCD out of the picture, the point is he DID swear to God and

he

> now feels he has to abide by it (though he hadn't been). So for

him,

> forget OCD making him do it, he " swore. "

>

> So this week I began being very understanding, talking about what

God

> would want for him, etc. Then I lost some patience and was more to

> the point. Of course that solves nothing.

>

> We don't go to church so I have no minister to immediately call

on.

> I've been out of work sick this week (caught what had on

the

> weekend and can't shake the fever). I did go in for 2 hours this

> a.m. There's a coworker whose husband is a minister, but they are

> out of town for the week!

>

> SIGH! 's always had a bit of scrupulosity. He stayed home

> from fencing Monday night, and I guess he'll stay home tomorrow

> (twice a week they meet). I'm not sure he's 100% recovered from

> this " bug " he had and I have so I'm sort of not pushing it for

now.

>

> But with his limited diet, he's knocking out the few foods he has,

> worrying about " unleavened " and ham or beef and chicken (for

whatever

> reason) and so on. I've told him he is NOT Jewish or Hindu or

> whatever, but the point for him is he did " swear " and also some of

it

> being what the Bible says. SIGH!!

>

> I need someone with some " God clout " so to speak to tell him it's

OK

> NOT to keep those oaths he swore and explain why, I can't get

through

> to him.

>

> Just had to vent!

>

>

> (hanging in!)

>

[Guest guest]

Here's another scrupe resource:

http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm

When my dd had problems going to Mass due to scrupe, I went to our

priest, because she was preparing for confirmation and I wanted him

to know why she was missing. Turned out he had suffered terribly

from scrupe as a child, and he offered to meet with her. He was

even willing to let her call him at any hour if she needed to talk.

This was a tremendous comfort to her and helped her a lot. (She

didn't have " confession " type issues, but she had a lot of

obsessions about numbers as they are used in the Bible, like which

numbers are " good " or " bad " . This affected the number of weeks she

could go to Mass in a row, etc.)

Unfortunately that priest has moved to Texas, and currently is

overseas translating at a conference...but I agree that finding

someone who is " in authority " and understands OCD will probably help

a lot. And I wouldn't mess around with eating issues, since

they can easily escalate into a real health hazard.

I'll keep in my prayers...(not scrupe! Just trying to help)

;-)

[Guest guest]

Hi Dina, thanks, and we have no therapist (yet). So do you feel the

meds made the difference with your dd, to get her eating again??

>

> Hi Chris! I know I'm no expert, but I've been reading YOUR advice

for a

> long time! :-) Sounds like scrupulocity issues, right? Does your

> therapist know how to fight those issues with therapy? I know my

[Guest guest]

Hi Alene, thanks, your dd was one I mentioned to , about the

animal products, eating, etc. TRYING to let him know that eating

problems seem to come up a lot with OCD.

I'm hoping a minister/authority figure will help him sort things

out. For him, it doesn't matter that the OCD imp might be what made

him swear.

Does your daughter still hold a bit of a grudge about her

hospitalization, even though she's doing better? I think things can

just catch up with us parents sometimes too, even when things settle

down some, get a bit better. (((hugs))) and good luck with your own

depression battle, I think it's easy for that to come along once

we've relaxed somewhat after a long battle. had actually

been having some depression these past weeks too. Then he was sick

(which I'm still battling a fever today). I wonder if the depression

was a bit of the OCD creeping back or separate...hmmm....

Good idea with Vegan Outreach director and nice of him to write that

email too.

Thanks again for your thoughts/insight!

>

> Hi, Chris.

>

> I've been reading about your recent struggles, and though you

always sound upbeat, I

> know this must be hard for you. We are still hanging in there and

my daughter is still

> doing much better, but I seem to have some sort of post traumatic

stress thing from

>

[Guest guest]

Louis, THANK YOU so much!! A minister that understands OCD, I don't

think we could ask for better than that! I appreciate your

forwarding it to him.

(((hugs))) and, again, thanks!!

>

> Hi

>

> I want to take this opportunity to thank you for your years of

service to

> the ocd and parenting list as a moderator. I read your post

about

> and thought immediately of Ted Witzig, Ph.D. Ted is one of our

advisors

> on the parents of adults with OCD list. He is a minister. I

[Guest guest]

Thanks Amy, I'm beginning to use the inositol again. If

comes up with some reason he can't take it, I'll have & Randall

hold him down, LOL! SIGH!

This just has to happen to my already too-skinny, malnourished

looking son. He's tall and I guess you'd say a " beanpole " so no

extra weight that needs to come off. He's got a " funnel chest " , and

I guess in my mind that contributes to the " malnourished " look, what

with being tall/skinny too.

I really want the inositol to work, so that will take weeks to build

up to a good dosage (like a regular med) and see about results. This

is 's last year for health insurance (he's on the state

children's insurance) so any prescription med would have to stop

unless he/we qualified for assistance, which I don't want to count

on.

Hope your dd is doing well?

>

> Hi

>

> I have no answers for you, I wish I did. You have helped so many

people

> including myself and my heart aches that I can not give back to you

what you

> have given me so many times. You and your children are in my

[Guest guest]

Hi I can totally relate how frustrating scrupe issues are.

Bre suffers from that, though it hasn't affected her eating. She

thought she really loved the devil and would go to hell because God

would not forgive her. Would talk to another teen with ocd?

I know that helps Bre when she is having a hard time. Helps put it

into perspective for her. I am sure she would love to talk if he is

willing. You hang in there and take care of yourself. Hugs

Sandy

-- In , " "

<@...> wrote:

>

> OK, so now we are dealing with eating problems.

>

> Quick background/summary: is now in 11th grade. OCD, the

> disorder, officially began (had always had a bit) in 6th grade.

> also has Aspergers (on autism spectrum), so sometimes that

is

> thrown into the mix here. His only social outlet is his school

> fencing club; no friends, social life, online chatting or

anything.

> He's always had a VERY limited diet. Food texture part of the

> problem, chewing, and then I guess taste too, hard to get him to

try

> new foods. Quick rundown of most eaten foods: Chicken (fried,

> nuggets, patties); soft tacos (only time he gets any beef); mac &

> cheese; potatos (fries, baked, mashed); Ham & Cheese Hot Pockets;

> cheese pizza; biscuits; hot dogs with mayo; corn dogs; vanilla ice

> cream; some pasta like Fettucine Alfredo, Lipton Chicken Noodles;

a

> few things I can't think of now too, but no fruits, veges (I'm not

a

> vege eater either much).

>

> So - OCD has been acting up now. AND has been reading the

> Bible nightly pretty much this past year or so at bedtime.

>

> Well - apparently WAY back in elementary school and then also in

8th

> grade he had sworn some things to God. Things he ignored or had

> forgotten about until now. In 8th grade he swore he wouldn't take

> fencing. And in elementary school, that he wouldn't eat ham

(which

> by the way, ham sandwiches were his only lunch, only thing he

would

> eat). NOW he is not ignoring those " oaths " anymore. Suddenly he

> can't go to fencing. And he can't eat Hot Pockets (the ham);

can't

> eat something that might not be unleavened; isn't sure about tacos

> due to beef, and then there's the cheese and lettuce; oh, I got

him

> to eat a baked potato tonite but NO margarine, he isn't sure about

> it. He's not eating lunch at school (only ate cheese pizza and/or

> fries).

>

> Now - even though perhaps it was OCD that made him " swear to God " ,

> knock OCD out of the picture, the point is he DID swear to God and

he

> now feels he has to abide by it (though he hadn't been). So for

him,

> forget OCD making him do it, he " swore. "

>

> So this week I began being very understanding, talking about what

God

> would want for him, etc. Then I lost some patience and was more

to

> the point. Of course that solves nothing.

>

> We don't go to church so I have no minister to immediately call

on.

> I've been out of work sick this week (caught what had on

the

> weekend and can't shake the fever). I did go in for 2 hours this

> a.m. There's a coworker whose husband is a minister, but they are

> out of town for the week!

>

> SIGH! 's always had a bit of scrupulosity. He stayed home

> from fencing Monday night, and I guess he'll stay home tomorrow

> (twice a week they meet). I'm not sure he's 100% recovered from

> this " bug " he had and I have so I'm sort of not pushing it for

now.

>

> But with his limited diet, he's knocking out the few foods he has,

> worrying about " unleavened " and ham or beef and chicken (for

whatever

> reason) and so on. I've told him he is NOT Jewish or Hindu or

> whatever, but the point for him is he did " swear " and also some of

it

> being what the Bible says. SIGH!!

>

> I need someone with some " God clout " so to speak to tell him it's

OK

> NOT to keep those oaths he swore and explain why, I can't get

through

> to him.

>

> Just had to vent!

>

>

> (hanging in!)

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Simi! I'm wondering if is taking the Bible a bit too

literally (right/wrong) besides any " promise " he made to God. He

does also have Aspergers (on the autism spectrum), and has at times

taken things too literally, a trait of Aspergers. But I had sort of

thought he had gotten beyond that over the years.

(((hugs))) to you, dealing with eating problems too! Now - will your

son cook for himself and eat? Or have you " contaminated " the whole

kitchen? I'm beginning to wonder about " milk " myself with

. I told him to at least buy milk at lunch time at school,

but he hasn't. I don't know if he's not sure " how " to just buy milk

in the lunch line (that Aspergers part) or if he's wondering if milk

is not okay.

Thank you for your thoughts and keep us updated on your son too!

>

> My son is also in 11th grade and I wish he would eat even half the

types of food that your son eats. My son stopped eating anything

that I cook - he thinks I contaminate everything I touch, so even if

I take a slice of bread from a loaf, then he won't touch that loaf of

[Guest guest]

Oh, Thank You !! I'll definitely check out that group. And I

think you described it perfectly as to how scrup can be making him

feel, etc.

I know OCD isn't logical (we ALL know that) so it's interesting, to

say the least, that this is coming up now, i.e, that he is now

remembering, things he " swore " years before and had forgotten about

or something. And that now he has to abide by them or whatever. SIGH!

>

>

> I don't know if you would be interested, but there is a group in

> groups called the scrupe group. The moderator is Bob Waters,

> and he has OCD, and he is a Lutheran minister. You might want to

> check the group out. I follow the posts since my son has some of

the

[Guest guest]

Nice site, , thanks, I'll be reading it!!

Interesting about your priest and his past scrupe. And I'm sure that

was such a huge, huge help for your dd! Is she doing better in this

area these days?

>

> Here's another scrupe resource:

> http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm

>

> When my dd had problems going to Mass due to scrupe, I went to our

> priest, because she was preparing for confirmation and I wanted him

> to know why she was missing. Turned out he had suffered terribly

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sandy,

I wish would be willing to talk/chat about it. He's never

been interested in that yet but I will mention it to him. Ironic, my

other 2 sons can drive me insane, the time taken online to chat, and

I wish WOULD, as it would be some social outlet for him!

Bre's done so well, she's an inspiration! I am going to mention it

to !

>

> Hi I can totally relate how frustrating scrupe issues are.

> Bre suffers from that, though it hasn't affected her eating. She

> thought she really loved the devil and would go to hell because God

> would not forgive her. Would talk to another teen with ocd?

> I know that helps Bre when she is having a hard time. Helps put it

> into perspective for her. I am sure she would love to talk if he is

> willing. You hang in there and take care of yourself. Hugs

> Sandy

[Guest guest]

wrote:

> Hi Dina, thanks, and we have no therapist (yet). So do you feel the

> meds made the difference with your dd, to get her eating again??

>

>

>

Yes. Here's her situation in brief: She began having problems in Oct,

2002, at age 7 1/2. It spiraled downward in a couple of weeks. I first

noticed at the hospital NICU right after the birth of our twins. We

went to the hospital cafeteria and she said she couldn't eat in the

cafeteria, but could if we took her food back to the lounge on the NICU

floor. ?? Whatever! I had brand new twins so wherever she wanted to

eat was fine. Thought it may be excitement. After a few days/week, she

had trouble at home, wanted to eat at the island instead of with the

family, dropped certain foods, skipped meals entirely, couldn't eat OR

drink at school. We started with our pediatrician who referred to a

pdoc that was all " talk " therapy for a couple of months. She was eating

less and less and finally after a 5 day stretch of nothing but chocolate

pudding in February, the pdoc put her on Celexa. We started searching

for a new pdoc and found one at an eating disorder clinic. I really

don't know how she survived from Feb. until June because she even had

trouble eating the chocolate pudding (loaded with Benecalorie--an

additive). In June, they added Zyprexa and FINALLY decided she was

medically unstable and hospitalized her with a tube down her nose for a

week. It was a scary thing, but then all they wanted her to do in the

hospital was relax and let the Boost renourish her. She didn't have to

eat at all and it was an obvious relief for her. I had a mental picture

of her never eating again in her life and what quality of life would

that be? Well, still on the Celexa and Zyprexa, they took the tube out

after a week and put her in day treatment from 8-6:00 with the

anorexic/bulimic girls. Even though this was not her diagnosis, they

felt that the group pressure of having to eat together would help. I

thought she was going to get kicked out because the first 2 days she

just picked at her food and all of the anorexic girls who had to eat

everything on their plate thought it was unfair. The director said she

was causing problems for the other girls (understandably). But, on

Wednesday I went in for a meeting with her Drs. and they told me she had

eaten all day! I could hardly believe it. She stayed in the program

for 3 weeks and gained 20 lbs. over that month--for a 7 year old body!

Long story short, she came off the Zyprexa after a couple of months and

continued to do okay. She had a lot of anxiety and OCD bad thoughts,

but ate for the most part. She got bad again last spring, 2004, and her

pdoc added back the Zyprexa and switched her from Celexa to Prozac. The

ramping up period was terrible! Hardly ate--high anxiety all day. But,

after about 6 weeks--she morphed back into the happy little girl I had

before all of this started. She has an " anxiety feeling " about once

ever 2 weeks that lasts for all of about 20 minutes where she thinks she

may vomit. But, she's gotten good at telling herself they are OCD

thoughts and recovers quickly. She has a " regular " life with a busy

social schedule and eats anything, anywhere. Had I known what I know

now, I would have realized that the Celexa wasn't cutting the anxiety

enough and asked to switch meds. I'm upset that her pdoc let her go on

for so long on the Celexa with me telling her that her anxiety was still

there daily, even though she was maintaining her weight. It took a bad

waxing period for the med. switch.

So, was it the Zyprexa? The group " forced " eating idea of the eating

disorder clinic? The Celexa helping some? I'll never know. But, I did

see the dramatic difference in her with the switch from Celexa to

Prozac. I *know* that was the med, because we haven't done any kind of

therapy.

It's a shame we don't know the SSRI, or antipsychotic, or inositol will

be THE one for our child before we try it. The guesswork is so hard.

And, when it's a life sustaining problem, like eating, you want to get

it right the first time. Because the inositol worked so well for him

the first time, that sounds like a great place to start. Just keep tabs

on his intake and weight while all this is going on. My daughter's Dr.

let her get really unstable before doing something and I should have

been a more proactive parent. I was tending to rely on the

" professional " instead of my gut instinct. I know a lot more about OCD

now, thanks to this wonderful list! Hope this helps in some small way.

Dina

[Guest guest]

Sorry that wasn't so " brief " , everyone! :-)

Dina

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

Will your son drink Boost or Ensure? My 17 yo ds has some eating

issues. They were much worse a year ago, and I was so glad he was at

least drinking a boost every day. Maybe he could take it to school

for lunch? They are expensive, but some stores have a " generic "

version.

Donna S.

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi Chris! I know I'm no expert, but I've been reading YOUR advice

for a

> long time! :-) Sounds like scrupulocity issues, right? Does your

> therapist know how to fight those issues with therapy? I know my

pdoc

> doesn't and I'd have to quickly try and find someone. When my DD

was 7

> and stopped eating, sounds just like your son except her fear was

> vomiting, no amount of rational speaking was going to help. And it

took

> me a long time to figure that out. He just isn't going to suddenly

> understand what you are saying and start adding those foods back.

My

> daughter needed medication and therapy. Didn't he just taper off

meds

> last spring? It is so scary when they won't eat. Food is a

constant

> thing we have to deal with multiple times a day and it can be such

a

> power struggle. In my limited experience with my daughter, she

kept

> eliminating foods until there was nothing left and there was just

no way

> I could get her to eat what her brain was telling her not to eat.

And

> it didn't matter WHO was telling her it was okay--Dr., therapist,

> clergy, principal (that was lovely when he walked into the

lunchroom and

> made eating motions at her!), she simply couldn't turn off the

voice in

> her head telling her it would make her vomit. So, I wouldn't think

what

> a minister would say would make a difference. I'm sorry about your

> struggles! Meds have done wonders for our DD and she eats like a

> regular kid now.

>

> Dina

>

Dina,

My Name is and my 9 year old has OCD. I thought he was the

only one obsessed with vomittimg!!!!! The way you described your

daughter's fear of eating & vomitting exactly describes my son!!!

Little by little he has stopped eating certain things. And if

his " mind tells him that he can't eat " he really can't...and

doesn't. Nothing that anyone says to him helps. He's been on meds

but that hasn't stopped this fear. The Dr. says that OCD is bad now

for 2 reasons. #1. December-February are rough months for OCD. Less

sunlight = less seratonin = more worries. #2. Strep throat. He just

got over this and apparently it is a medical fact the OCD gets

inflamed by a strep infection!

Are there any particular things that helped your daughter? We're at

a loss. Our son was the most independent, carefree, fun loving child

ever...and now he is filled with anxiety every day. It's like being

in a bad dream every day!

Thanks for listening!

[Guest guest]

Hi ! I was just about to reply to your other message before I

saw this one. When my daughter started having problems 2 1/2 yrs. ago

at age 7 1/2, I never even thought to check for internet groups. I

never would have thought that anyone had ever experienced what we were

going through with her! When I stumbled on this group last spring after

she got her official OCD diagnosis, I couldn't believe other kids had

sudden eating issues, extreme anxiety, sudden severe separation

anxiexy--all while previously being healthy. It was very reassuring to

know that things may get better and she wouldn't be connected to a

feeding tube--I really thought that's what our future held. Even last

spring when she had a waxing period and got really bad again I thought

she would never have any kind of a normal life. And I was in serious

mourning. She had been a delightful baby/toddler/young child. Smart,

funny, kind, well adjusted. What was going on??? I'm happy to say that

right now she is doing beautifully. On most days the only OCD reminder

I have is the medication that I give her. I hope you can find the right

medication or therapy mix for your son. I'm sure you can! Here is a

post that I made last week, maybe you've already read it. It's a brief

on our history. Let me know what specific questions I can answer for

you. One thing I left off is the fact that her strep titer was elevated

as well, so she could be a PANDAS case, I don't know.

Here's the post:

Yes. Here's her situation in brief: She began having problems in Oct,

2002, at age 7 1/2. It spiraled downward in a couple of weeks. I first

noticed at the hospital NICU right after the birth of our twins. We

went to the hospital cafeteria and she said she couldn't eat in the

cafeteria, but could if we took her food back to the lounge on the NICU

floor. ?? Whatever! I had brand new twins so wherever she wanted to

eat was fine. Thought it may be excitement. After a few days/week, she

had trouble at home, wanted to eat at the island instead of with the

family, dropped certain foods, skipped meals entirely, couldn't eat OR

drink at school. We started with our pediatrician who referred to a

pdoc that was all " talk " therapy for a couple of months. She was eating

less and less and finally after a 5 day stretch of nothing but chocolate

pudding in February, the pdoc put her on Celexa. We started searching

for a new pdoc and found one at an eating disorder clinic. I really

don't know how she survived from Feb. until June because she even had

trouble eating the chocolate pudding (loaded with Benecalorie--an

additive). In June, they added Zyprexa and FINALLY decided she was

medically unstable and hospitalized her with a tube down her nose for a

week. It was a scary thing, but then all they wanted her to do in the

hospital was relax and let the Boost renourish her. She didn't have to

eat at all and it was an obvious relief for her. I had a mental picture

of her never eating again in her life and what quality of life would

that be? Well, still on the Celexa and Zyprexa, they took the tube out

after a week and put her in day treatment from 8-6:00 with the

anorexic/bulimic girls. Even though this was not her diagnosis, they

felt that the group pressure of having to eat together would help. I

thought she was going to get kicked out because the first 2 days she

just picked at her food and all of the anorexic girls who had to eat

everything on their plate thought it was unfair. The director said she

was causing problems for the other girls (understandably). But, on

Wednesday I went in for a meeting with her Drs. and they told me she had

eaten all day! I could hardly believe it. She stayed in the program

for 3 weeks and gained 20 lbs. over that month--for a 7 year old body!

Long story short, she came off the Zyprexa after a couple of months and

continued to do okay. She had a lot of anxiety and OCD bad thoughts,

but ate for the most part. She got bad again last spring, 2004, and her

pdoc added back the Zyprexa and switched her from Celexa to Prozac. The

ramping up period was terrible! Hardly ate--high anxiety all day. But,

after about 6 weeks--she morphed back into the happy little girl I had

before all of this started. She has an " anxiety feeling " about once

ever 2 weeks that lasts for all of about 20 minutes where she thinks she

may vomit. But, she's gotten good at telling herself they are OCD

thoughts and recovers quickly. She has a " regular " life with a busy

social schedule and eats anything, anywhere. Had I known what I know

now, I would have realized that the Celexa wasn't cutting the anxiety

enough and asked to switch meds. I'm upset that her pdoc let her go on

for so long on the Celexa with me telling her that her anxiety was still

there daily, even though she was maintaining her weight. It took a bad

waxing period for the med. switch.

So, was it the Zyprexa? The group " forced " eating idea of the eating

disorder clinic? The Celexa helping some? I'll never know. But, I did

see the dramatic difference in her with the switch from Celexa to

Prozac. I *know* that was the med, because we haven't done any kind of

therapy.

It's a shame we don't know the SSRI, or antipsychotic, or inositol will

be THE one for our child before we try it. The guesswork is so hard.

And, when it's a life sustaining problem, like eating, you want to get

it right the first time. Because the inositol worked so well for him

the first time, that sounds like a great place to start. Just keep tabs

on his intake and weight while all this is going on. My daughter's Dr.

let her get really unstable before doing something and I should have

been a more proactive parent. I was tending to rely on the

" professional " instead of my gut instinct. I know a lot more about OCD

now, thanks to this wonderful list! Hope this helps in some small way.

Dina