Re: New parent of ocd child.

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry to hear your daughter is suffering and at the same time, I'm

happy to hear that she is receiving therapy and benefiting from it!

What has really helped me was reading previous messages from this

group and reading " What to do when your child has Obsessive-Compulsive

Disorder " . My book has been highlighted so much, has a bunch of

post-it's sticking out and many pages dog-eared. It has helped me

when my daughter's OCD level is skyrocketing and also helps me when

her OCD is " in waiting " .

Honestly, being a parent of a child with OCD is very challenging. OCD

effects every single member in your family and invades every aspect of

your life. I rely on the book and groups like this for support,

information, understanding, empathy, ideas and strength to carry on.

Lean on the " family " here when you need help. They can honestly say,

" I know how you feel " since we have all been there.

Take it day by day (sometimes if feels like you need to take it hour

to hour).

Take care,

dawn

>

> I have a 4 year old with ocd and I'm just diving into therphy

sessions. We are doing

> cognitive behavioral theraphy. So far it seems to be helping!

However I would be soooo

> greatful to anyone else that would share there sitution. I'm feeling

very alone. It's very

> hard to see your child struggling. I'm exhausted from getting up 3

times at night to

> comfort her fear of snakes. I'm applying what I'm learning from her

theraphy sessions as

> well as all the books I have read. But It would be so helpful to

hear from somone who is

> dealing with it daily as I am.

>

> -Thanks

>

[Guest guest]

Hi there, and welcome to the list. I'm not dealing with it right now the

way you are, my dd's OCD started at four too and back then it was a

24-hour-a-day-job. Congrats to you for finding a child behavior therapist

who could treat your dd at her young age. My child was started on

medication, it took another two years before I could find a therapist who

would treat her with CBT/ERP.

I suggest you get your child a stuffed snake for exposures! My daughter has

a beautiful life-size Folkmanis puppet snake from her snake obsession days

:-) Other ideas are to take her to the zoo, pet store, etc. to watch and

eventually, perhaps touch/hold a snake. She could watch animal channel

videos about snakes, these are up-close-and-personal LOL. When my child

had a similar obsessional fear about bees--which unlike snakes *are*

everywhere, potentially inside the house as well as outside--it was very

limiting to her. I got her a Tshirt with a bee on it, she got so she could

wear it comfortably (exposures--putting the shirt on called up the bee fear,

anxiety, etc.) and we kissed the bee problem goodbye the day she put it on

inside out so the " bee " could sting her if it chose...

My child just turned 12 and her OCD has been low and stable for many years.

Though it's still " there " it doesn't interfere with school, sleeping,

friends, or anything else she wants to do. When it does try to stage a

comeback, she's able to identify that a thought or whatever is OCD and then

do exposures herself. Her main on the spot ERP is to do the opposite of

what OCD is " saying " . Many times I don't know anything about it until she

mentions it after the fact. My child is one who has needed medication all

along to be comfortable and to be able to face her OCD O's and fears. Not

all kids do though and I wish you and your daughter quick success with

therapy. OCD does get better, and sometimes amazingly quickly with the

proper therapy.

If the middle of the night wakings continue too much longer, you may want to

consider the idea of medication at least in the short term. If she's

getting you up that many times, then she is awake that many times too and

she must be exhausted most days right along with you. Perhaps the main

thing we found that worsened OCD and interfered with progress in therapy was

chronic sleep deprivation.

Take care, write again and let us know how your dd is doing,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: " murphsss " <megan@...>

>I have a 4 year old with ocd and I'm just diving into therphy sessions. We

>are doing

> cognitive behavioral theraphy. So far it seems to be helping! However I

> would be soooo

> greatful to anyone else that would share there sitution. I'm feeling very

> alone. It's very

> hard to see your child struggling. I'm exhausted from getting up 3 times

> at night to

> comfort her fear of snakes. I'm applying what I'm learning from her

> theraphy sessions as

> well as all the books I have read. But It would be so helpful to hear from

> somone who is

> dealing with it daily as I am.

[Guest guest]

Hi

I'm there with you!!!!

I'm new to the list and at the stage of starting my search for a

child therapist who does CBT/ERP after contacting a local support

group. I am in the midst of coming to terms with all ocd and

understanding my child's behaviour. Personally, I find myself

wavering between depression to anger at what is happening.

I have only realised within the last month from reading books and

really observing her behaviour which has worsened then waned and now

has worsened again that she has OCD. My dd is just six years old and

has had what I thought were in the range of normalise anxiety and

fears since she was 3 years old. I did identify her as a 'highly

sensitive child' when I read a book by the same title, but I now see

it is more and I see her in the OCD books I am reading.

I definitely see that her behaviour is worse when she is tired and

not kept busy (distracted).

We are really struggling with how to handle her behaviour. I find

myself obsessing about it and want to stop her although I know I

shouldn't. She has contamination fears which are of course

irrational and some are even inconsistent. She can be and has been

recently very rough verbally and physically with her 3 1/2 sister.

She fears contamination from her. The stress is getting to us all

and we are trying to understand how to deal with it, but the books

are really telling us except that we should not force exposure. We

have read blink blink clop clop and we have talked about it as being

an OC Flea (externalisation). She made the connect when we read it

and said maybe it is OC Flea making me wash my hands. I have read a

few books and ordered Mr. Worry: A Story about OCD, March's

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in Children and Adolescents: A

Cognitive-behavioural Treatment Manual, Up and Down the Worry Hill: A

Children's Book about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Its Treatment

to help me understand how to talk to her. But at the moment we

aren't sure how to talk to her about it, ie is it a problem that

needs to be solved? Should we try to discourage her from washing her

hands or ignore it? When she is rough with her sister I try to

empathise but say that we can't tolerate such behaviour no matter how

awful we feel. Of course her sister does try to annoy her by

touching her and her things and putting her feet on her head etc when

she gets a response. So it is currently ending up that both of their

behaviour is deteriorating and I'm feeling helpless and depressed

about it.

>

> Hi there, and welcome to the list. I'm not dealing with it right

now the

> way you are, my dd's OCD started at four too and back then it was a

> 24-hour-a-day-job. Congrats to you for finding a child behavior

therapist

> who could treat your dd at her young age. My child was started on

> medication, it took another two years before I could find a

therapist who

> would treat her with CBT/ERP.

>

> I suggest you get your child a stuffed snake for exposures! My

daughter has

> a beautiful life-size Folkmanis puppet snake from her snake

obsession days

> :-) Other ideas are to take her to the zoo, pet store, etc. to

watch and

> eventually, perhaps touch/hold a snake. She could watch animal

channel

> videos about snakes, these are up-close-and-personal LOL. When my

child

> had a similar obsessional fear about bees--which unlike snakes

*are*

> everywhere, potentially inside the house as well as outside--it was

very

> limiting to her. I got her a Tshirt with a bee on it, she got so

she could

> wear it comfortably (exposures--putting the shirt on called up the

bee fear,

> anxiety, etc.) and we kissed the bee problem goodbye the day she

put it on

> inside out so the " bee " could sting her if it chose...

>

> My child just turned 12 and her OCD has been low and stable for

many years.

> Though it's still " there " it doesn't interfere with school,

sleeping,

> friends, or anything else she wants to do. When it does try to

stage a

> comeback, she's able to identify that a thought or whatever is OCD

and then

> do exposures herself. Her main on the spot ERP is to do the

opposite of

> what OCD is " saying " . Many times I don't know anything about it

until she

> mentions it after the fact. My child is one who has needed

medication all

> along to be comfortable and to be able to face her OCD O's and

fears. Not

> all kids do though and I wish you and your daughter quick success

with

> therapy. OCD does get better, and sometimes amazingly quickly with

the

> proper therapy.

>

> If the middle of the night wakings continue too much longer, you

may want to

> consider the idea of medication at least in the short term. If

she's

> getting you up that many times, then she is awake that many times

too and

> she must be exhausted most days right along with you. Perhaps the

main

> thing we found that worsened OCD and interfered with progress in

therapy was

> chronic sleep deprivation.

>

> Take care, write again and let us know how your dd is doing,

> Kathy R. in Indiana

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: " murphsss " <megan@e...>

>

> >I have a 4 year old with ocd and I'm just diving into therphy

sessions. We

> >are doing

> > cognitive behavioral theraphy. So far it seems to be helping!

However I

> > would be soooo

> > greatful to anyone else that would share there sitution. I'm

feeling very

> > alone. It's very

> > hard to see your child struggling. I'm exhausted from getting up

3 times

> > at night to

> > comfort her fear of snakes. I'm applying what I'm learning from

her

> > theraphy sessions as

> > well as all the books I have read. But It would be so helpful to

hear from

> > somone who is

> > dealing with it daily as I am.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

I'm there with you!!!!

I'm new to the list and at the stage of starting my search for a

child therapist who does CBT/ERP after contacting a local support

group. I am in the midst of coming to terms with all ocd and

understanding my child's behaviour. Personally, I find myself

wavering between depression to anger at what is happening.

I have only realised within the last month from reading books and

really observing her behaviour which has worsened then waned and now

has worsened again that she has OCD. My dd is just six years old and

has had what I thought were in the range of normalise anxiety and

fears since she was 3 years old. I did identify her as a 'highly

sensitive child' when I read a book by the same title, but I now see

it is more and I see her in the OCD books I am reading.

I definitely see that her behaviour is worse when she is tired and

not kept busy (distracted).

We are really struggling with how to handle her behaviour. I find

myself obsessing about it and want to stop her although I know I

shouldn't. She has contamination fears which are of course

irrational and some are even inconsistent. She can be and has been

recently very rough verbally and physically with her 3 1/2 sister.

She fears contamination from her. The stress is getting to us all

and we are trying to understand how to deal with it, but the books

are really telling us except that we should not force exposure. We

have read blink blink clop clop and we have talked about it as being

an OC Flea (externalisation). She made the connect when we read it

and said maybe it is OC Flea making me wash my hands. I have read a

few books and ordered Mr. Worry: A Story about OCD, March's

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in Children and Adolescents: A

Cognitive-behavioural Treatment Manual, Up and Down the Worry Hill: A

Children's Book about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Its Treatment

to help me understand how to talk to her. But at the moment we

aren't sure how to talk to her about it, ie is it a problem that

needs to be solved? Should we try to discourage her from washing her

hands or ignore it? When she is rough with her sister I try to

empathise but say that we can't tolerate such behaviour no matter how

awful we feel. Of course her sister does try to annoy her by

touching her and her things and putting her feet on her head etc when

she gets a response. So it is currently ending up that both of their

behaviour is deteriorating and I'm feeling helpless and depressed

about it.

>

> Hi there, and welcome to the list. I'm not dealing with it right

now the

> way you are, my dd's OCD started at four too and back then it was a

> 24-hour-a-day-job. Congrats to you for finding a child behavior

therapist

> who could treat your dd at her young age. My child was started on

> medication, it took another two years before I could find a

therapist who

> would treat her with CBT/ERP.

>

> I suggest you get your child a stuffed snake for exposures! My

daughter has

> a beautiful life-size Folkmanis puppet snake from her snake

obsession days

> :-) Other ideas are to take her to the zoo, pet store, etc. to

watch and

> eventually, perhaps touch/hold a snake. She could watch animal

channel

> videos about snakes, these are up-close-and-personal LOL. When my

child

> had a similar obsessional fear about bees--which unlike snakes

*are*

> everywhere, potentially inside the house as well as outside--it was

very

> limiting to her. I got her a Tshirt with a bee on it, she got so

she could

> wear it comfortably (exposures--putting the shirt on called up the

bee fear,

> anxiety, etc.) and we kissed the bee problem goodbye the day she

put it on

> inside out so the " bee " could sting her if it chose...

>

> My child just turned 12 and her OCD has been low and stable for

many years.

> Though it's still " there " it doesn't interfere with school,

sleeping,

> friends, or anything else she wants to do. When it does try to

stage a

> comeback, she's able to identify that a thought or whatever is OCD

and then

> do exposures herself. Her main on the spot ERP is to do the

opposite of

> what OCD is " saying " . Many times I don't know anything about it

until she

> mentions it after the fact. My child is one who has needed

medication all

> along to be comfortable and to be able to face her OCD O's and

fears. Not

> all kids do though and I wish you and your daughter quick success

with

> therapy. OCD does get better, and sometimes amazingly quickly with

the

> proper therapy.

>

> If the middle of the night wakings continue too much longer, you

may want to

> consider the idea of medication at least in the short term. If

she's

> getting you up that many times, then she is awake that many times

too and

> she must be exhausted most days right along with you. Perhaps the

main

> thing we found that worsened OCD and interfered with progress in

therapy was

> chronic sleep deprivation.

>

> Take care, write again and let us know how your dd is doing,

> Kathy R. in Indiana

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: " murphsss " <megan@e...>

>

> >I have a 4 year old with ocd and I'm just diving into therphy

sessions. We

> >are doing

> > cognitive behavioral theraphy. So far it seems to be helping!

However I

> > would be soooo

> > greatful to anyone else that would share there sitution. I'm

feeling very

> > alone. It's very

> > hard to see your child struggling. I'm exhausted from getting up

3 times

> > at night to

> > comfort her fear of snakes. I'm applying what I'm learning from

her

> > theraphy sessions as

> > well as all the books I have read. But It would be so helpful to

hear from

> > somone who is

> > dealing with it daily as I am.

>

[Guest guest]

Would it work to have a timer in the bathroom where she washes her

hands - before she can start washing her hands she has to wait for

the timer to go off (5 second increased slowly over the days) and

then she can only wash her hands until the timer goes off again

(first set for about the length of time she already washes and then

slowly decreasing it) - it should work to put an end to it (or bring

it down to a reasonable level) over a period of time -

the anxiety of waiting and the anxiety of stopping will help.

ignoring it for now is acceptable if there are bigger issues to

tackle first . . or smaller issues to tackle first leading up to the

bigger one of handwashing. you can't tackle them all at once.

trying to put a quick end to it will just lead to ballistic fireworks

of spectacular proportions . . .

I suggest (since I myself have to spend my day talk myself through

delaying/stopping my own ocd compulsions) using a tone of voice that

is respectful, kind and matter-of-fact - without emotions of being

sorry, worried, pitying or angry - that way she can learn a tone of

voice to talk to herself through these things that is self-

respectful. Occasionally I allow my self-talking to be with extra-

firmness, but I try to be very patient with myself - Usually it's

just " oy, there I go again! " .

I do 'lapse' a few times a day - letting it go on too long . . . not

delaying before starting - but, overall I control it by talking my

way through it - overall, the progress is made. I guess what I'm

trying to say is that the voice you use now is the voice she will use

for herself as she learns to control it for the rest of her life -

listen carefully to yourself - whatever you say will play back like a

taperecorder for her.

> >

> > Hi there, and welcome to the list. I'm not dealing with it right

> now the

> > way you are, my dd's OCD started at four too and back then it was

a

> > 24-hour-a-day-job. Congrats to you for finding a child behavior

> therapist

> > who could treat your dd at her young age. My child was started

on

> > medication, it took another two years before I could find a

> therapist who

> > would treat her with CBT/ERP.

> >

> > I suggest you get your child a stuffed snake for exposures! My

> daughter has

> > a beautiful life-size Folkmanis puppet snake from her snake

> obsession days

> > :-) Other ideas are to take her to the zoo, pet store, etc. to

> watch and

> > eventually, perhaps touch/hold a snake. She could watch animal

> channel

> > videos about snakes, these are up-close-and-personal LOL. When

my

> child

> > had a similar obsessional fear about bees--which unlike snakes

> *are*

> > everywhere, potentially inside the house as well as outside--it

was

> very

> > limiting to her. I got her a Tshirt with a bee on it, she got so

> she could

> > wear it comfortably (exposures--putting the shirt on called up

the

> bee fear,

> > anxiety, etc.) and we kissed the bee problem goodbye the day she

> put it on

> > inside out so the " bee " could sting her if it chose...

> >

> > My child just turned 12 and her OCD has been low and stable for

> many years.

> > Though it's still " there " it doesn't interfere with school,

> sleeping,

> > friends, or anything else she wants to do. When it does try to

> stage a

> > comeback, she's able to identify that a thought or whatever is

OCD

> and then

> > do exposures herself. Her main on the spot ERP is to do the

> opposite of

> > what OCD is " saying " . Many times I don't know anything about it

> until she

> > mentions it after the fact. My child is one who has needed

> medication all

> > along to be comfortable and to be able to face her OCD O's and

> fears. Not

> > all kids do though and I wish you and your daughter quick success

> with

> > therapy. OCD does get better, and sometimes amazingly quickly

with

> the

> > proper therapy.

> >

> > If the middle of the night wakings continue too much longer, you

> may want to

> > consider the idea of medication at least in the short term. If

> she's

> > getting you up that many times, then she is awake that many times

> too and

> > she must be exhausted most days right along with you. Perhaps

the

> main

> > thing we found that worsened OCD and interfered with progress in

> therapy was

> > chronic sleep deprivation.

> >

> > Take care, write again and let us know how your dd is doing,

> > Kathy R. in Indiana

> >

> > ----- Original Message -----

> > From: " murphsss " <megan@e...>

> >

> > >I have a 4 year old with ocd and I'm just diving into therphy

> sessions. We

> > >are doing

> > > cognitive behavioral theraphy. So far it seems to be helping!

> However I

> > > would be soooo

> > > greatful to anyone else that would share there sitution. I'm

> feeling very

> > > alone. It's very

> > > hard to see your child struggling. I'm exhausted from getting

up

> 3 times

> > > at night to

> > > comfort her fear of snakes. I'm applying what I'm learning from

> her

> > > theraphy sessions as

> > > well as all the books I have read. But It would be so helpful

to

> hear from

> > > somone who is

> > > dealing with it daily as I am.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Would it work to have a timer in the bathroom where she washes her

hands - before she can start washing her hands she has to wait for

the timer to go off (5 second increased slowly over the days) and

then she can only wash her hands until the timer goes off again

(first set for about the length of time she already washes and then

slowly decreasing it) - it should work to put an end to it (or bring

it down to a reasonable level) over a period of time -

the anxiety of waiting and the anxiety of stopping will help.

ignoring it for now is acceptable if there are bigger issues to

tackle first . . or smaller issues to tackle first leading up to the

bigger one of handwashing. you can't tackle them all at once.

trying to put a quick end to it will just lead to ballistic fireworks

of spectacular proportions . . .

I suggest (since I myself have to spend my day talk myself through

delaying/stopping my own ocd compulsions) using a tone of voice that

is respectful, kind and matter-of-fact - without emotions of being

sorry, worried, pitying or angry - that way she can learn a tone of

voice to talk to herself through these things that is self-

respectful. Occasionally I allow my self-talking to be with extra-

firmness, but I try to be very patient with myself - Usually it's

just " oy, there I go again! " .

I do 'lapse' a few times a day - letting it go on too long . . . not

delaying before starting - but, overall I control it by talking my

way through it - overall, the progress is made. I guess what I'm

trying to say is that the voice you use now is the voice she will use

for herself as she learns to control it for the rest of her life -

listen carefully to yourself - whatever you say will play back like a

taperecorder for her.

> >

> > Hi there, and welcome to the list. I'm not dealing with it right

> now the

> > way you are, my dd's OCD started at four too and back then it was

a

> > 24-hour-a-day-job. Congrats to you for finding a child behavior

> therapist

> > who could treat your dd at her young age. My child was started

on

> > medication, it took another two years before I could find a

> therapist who

> > would treat her with CBT/ERP.

> >

> > I suggest you get your child a stuffed snake for exposures! My

> daughter has

> > a beautiful life-size Folkmanis puppet snake from her snake

> obsession days

> > :-) Other ideas are to take her to the zoo, pet store, etc. to

> watch and

> > eventually, perhaps touch/hold a snake. She could watch animal

> channel

> > videos about snakes, these are up-close-and-personal LOL. When

my

> child

> > had a similar obsessional fear about bees--which unlike snakes

> *are*

> > everywhere, potentially inside the house as well as outside--it

was

> very

> > limiting to her. I got her a Tshirt with a bee on it, she got so

> she could

> > wear it comfortably (exposures--putting the shirt on called up

the

> bee fear,

> > anxiety, etc.) and we kissed the bee problem goodbye the day she

> put it on

> > inside out so the " bee " could sting her if it chose...

> >

> > My child just turned 12 and her OCD has been low and stable for

> many years.

> > Though it's still " there " it doesn't interfere with school,

> sleeping,

> > friends, or anything else she wants to do. When it does try to

> stage a

> > comeback, she's able to identify that a thought or whatever is

OCD

> and then

> > do exposures herself. Her main on the spot ERP is to do the

> opposite of

> > what OCD is " saying " . Many times I don't know anything about it

> until she

> > mentions it after the fact. My child is one who has needed

> medication all

> > along to be comfortable and to be able to face her OCD O's and

> fears. Not

> > all kids do though and I wish you and your daughter quick success

> with

> > therapy. OCD does get better, and sometimes amazingly quickly

with

> the

> > proper therapy.

> >

> > If the middle of the night wakings continue too much longer, you

> may want to

> > consider the idea of medication at least in the short term. If

> she's

> > getting you up that many times, then she is awake that many times

> too and

> > she must be exhausted most days right along with you. Perhaps

the

> main

> > thing we found that worsened OCD and interfered with progress in

> therapy was

> > chronic sleep deprivation.

> >

> > Take care, write again and let us know how your dd is doing,

> > Kathy R. in Indiana

> >

> > ----- Original Message -----

> > From: " murphsss " <megan@e...>

> >

> > >I have a 4 year old with ocd and I'm just diving into therphy

> sessions. We

> > >are doing

> > > cognitive behavioral theraphy. So far it seems to be helping!

> However I

> > > would be soooo

> > > greatful to anyone else that would share there sitution. I'm

> feeling very

> > > alone. It's very

> > > hard to see your child struggling. I'm exhausted from getting

up

> 3 times

> > > at night to

> > > comfort her fear of snakes. I'm applying what I'm learning from

> her

> > > theraphy sessions as

> > > well as all the books I have read. But It would be so helpful

to

> hear from

> > > somone who is

> > > dealing with it daily as I am.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks

I will talk to her about it and look at getting a timer. My husband

has been trying to get her to reduce the time she washes. Today I had

her delay her shower by 20 secs but she still took 2. At the moment,

we haven't really done much habituation work with her because we don't

know how to.

I like the comments of others for habituation like getting stuffed

animals and t-shirts with bees or snakes etc, but germs are abstract.

We have however made finger puppets of good and bad germs and white

blood cells and talked about them and how the skin is a defense about

germs and how your body needs germs, but it doesn't seem to have

helped really. Although she seems to except that good germs are in

cheese, yogurt and yeast. I am scared to tell her that germs are

everywhere for fear of making it worse.

Your advice on tone tone of voice is good and I will keep it in mind.

We are trying to be less stressed around the house and to keep calm

and not obsess about her compulsions.

I like the advice

-- In , " klwicklund77 "

<k777thorpe@a...> wrote:

>

> Would it work to have a timer in the bathroom where she washes her

> hands - before she can start washing her hands she has to wait for

> the timer to go off (5 second increased slowly over the days) and

> then she can only wash her hands until the timer goes off again

> (first set for about the length of time she already washes and then

> slowly decreasing it) - it should work to put an end to it (or bring

> it down to a reasonable level) over a period of time -

>

> the anxiety of waiting and the anxiety of stopping will help.

>

> ignoring it for now is acceptable if there are bigger issues to

> tackle first . . or smaller issues to tackle first leading up to the

> bigger one of handwashing. you can't tackle them all at once.

>

> trying to put a quick end to it will just lead to ballistic fireworks

> of spectacular proportions . . .

>

> I suggest (since I myself have to spend my day talk myself through

> delaying/stopping my own ocd compulsions) using a tone of voice that

> is respectful, kind and matter-of-fact - without emotions of being

> sorry, worried, pitying or angry - that way she can learn a tone of

> voice to talk to herself through these things that is self-

> respectful. Occasionally I allow my self-talking to be with extra-

> firmness, but I try to be very patient with myself - Usually it's

> just " oy, there I go again! " .

>

> I do 'lapse' a few times a day - letting it go on too long . . . not

> delaying before starting - but, overall I control it by talking my

> way through it - overall, the progress is made. I guess what I'm

> trying to say is that the voice you use now is the voice she will use

> for herself as she learns to control it for the rest of her life -

> listen carefully to yourself - whatever you say will play back like a

> taperecorder for her.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> > >

> > > Hi there, and welcome to the list. I'm not dealing with it right

> > now the

> > > way you are, my dd's OCD started at four too and back then it was

> a

> > > 24-hour-a-day-job. Congrats to you for finding a child behavior

> > therapist

> > > who could treat your dd at her young age. My child was started

> on

> > > medication, it took another two years before I could find a

> > therapist who

> > > would treat her with CBT/ERP.

> > >

> > > I suggest you get your child a stuffed snake for exposures! My

> > daughter has

> > > a beautiful life-size Folkmanis puppet snake from her snake

> > obsession days

> > > :-) Other ideas are to take her to the zoo, pet store, etc. to

> > watch and

> > > eventually, perhaps touch/hold a snake. She could watch animal

> > channel

> > > videos about snakes, these are up-close-and-personal LOL. When

> my

> > child

> > > had a similar obsessional fear about bees--which unlike snakes

> > *are*

> > > everywhere, potentially inside the house as well as outside--it

> was

> > very

> > > limiting to her. I got her a Tshirt with a bee on it, she got so

> > she could

> > > wear it comfortably (exposures--putting the shirt on called up

> the

> > bee fear,

> > > anxiety, etc.) and we kissed the bee problem goodbye the day she

> > put it on

> > > inside out so the " bee " could sting her if it chose...

> > >

> > > My child just turned 12 and her OCD has been low and stable for

> > many years.

> > > Though it's still " there " it doesn't interfere with school,

> > sleeping,

> > > friends, or anything else she wants to do. When it does try to

> > stage a

> > > comeback, she's able to identify that a thought or whatever is

> OCD

> > and then

> > > do exposures herself. Her main on the spot ERP is to do the

> > opposite of

> > > what OCD is " saying " . Many times I don't know anything about it

> > until she

> > > mentions it after the fact. My child is one who has needed

> > medication all

> > > along to be comfortable and to be able to face her OCD O's and

> > fears. Not

> > > all kids do though and I wish you and your daughter quick success

> > with

> > > therapy. OCD does get better, and sometimes amazingly quickly

> with

> > the

> > > proper therapy.

> > >

> > > If the middle of the night wakings continue too much longer, you

> > may want to

> > > consider the idea of medication at least in the short term. If

> > she's

> > > getting you up that many times, then she is awake that many times

> > too and

> > > she must be exhausted most days right along with you. Perhaps

> the

> > main

> > > thing we found that worsened OCD and interfered with progress in

> > therapy was

> > > chronic sleep deprivation.

> > >

> > > Take care, write again and let us know how your dd is doing,

> > > Kathy R. in Indiana

> > >

> > > ----- Original Message -----

> > > From: " murphsss " <megan@e...>

> > >

> > > >I have a 4 year old with ocd and I'm just diving into therphy

> > sessions. We

> > > >are doing

> > > > cognitive behavioral theraphy. So far it seems to be helping!

> > However I

> > > > would be soooo

> > > > greatful to anyone else that would share there sitution. I'm

> > feeling very

> > > > alone. It's very

> > > > hard to see your child struggling. I'm exhausted from getting

> up

> > 3 times

> > > > at night to

> > > > comfort her fear of snakes. I'm applying what I'm learning from

> > her

> > > > theraphy sessions as

> > > > well as all the books I have read. But It would be so helpful

> to

> > hear from

> > > > somone who is

> > > > dealing with it daily as I am.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My son developed a bit of the germ phobia OCD this school year after

discussing bacteria and viruses in science class. One thing that did

help (I think) was my telling him the story of how the Native

Americans did not have immunity to diseases brought over by the

Europeans and many died as a result. Hence, if they had been exposed

to these " germs " and had been able to build antibodies/resistance,

they would have been better off when the Europeans invaded their

land. Putting an actual historical event and explaining why it was

not good to " not be exposed " to germs seemed to help him. However, I

caught this fear early, and he was not washing, etc. Instead, he was

staying away from those who " looked " sick, not eating certain foods,

and generally just getting the heebie jeebies thinking about bacteria

on/in us and all around us.

>

> Thanks

>

>

> I will talk to her about it and look at getting a timer. My husband

> has been trying to get her to reduce the time she washes. Today I

had

> her delay her shower by 20 secs but she still took 2. At the

moment,

> we haven't really done much habituation work with her because we

don't

> know how to.

>

> I like the comments of others for habituation like getting stuffed

> animals and t-shirts with bees or snakes etc, but germs are

abstract.

> We have however made finger puppets of good and bad germs and white

> blood cells and talked about them and how the skin is a defense

about

> germs and how your body needs germs, but it doesn't seem to have

> helped really. Although she seems to except that good germs are in

> cheese, yogurt and yeast. I am scared to tell her that germs are

> everywhere for fear of making it worse.

>

> Your advice on tone tone of voice is good and I will keep it in

mind.

> We are trying to be less stressed around the house and to keep calm

> and not obsess about her compulsions.

>

>

>

> I like the advice

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

It sounds like you're off to a good start!

From what I've read, once OCD is firmly established it

often defies logic. It might be more helpful to focus

on OCD. That the thoughts and feelings she has are

like " junk mail " in her brain and she needs to " throw

them out. " (Tamar Chansky's book has an illustration

showing this). Also, another good anology my son's

doctor used and I've mentioned here is that OCD is

like a big controlling monster (kind of like the

Cookie Monster). If you give him cookies what happens?

He grows bigger. How do you feed him? By listening to

OCD. What happens if you don't listen to OCD? You

starve him. By starving him what happnes? He gets

smaller and no longer has control over you.

This week during one of my son's exposures he told me

this analogy really helped him.

Good luck to you!

Tess

--- billjuli <julie@...> wrote:

> Thanks

>

>

> I will talk to her about it and look at getting a

> timer. My husband

> has been trying to get her to reduce the time she

> washes. Today I had

> her delay her shower by 20 secs but she still took

> 2. At the moment,

> we haven't really done much habituation work with

> her because we don't

> know how to.

>

> I like the comments of others for habituation like

> getting stuffed

> animals and t-shirts with bees or snakes etc, but

> germs are abstract.

> We have however made finger puppets of good and bad

> germs and white

> blood cells and talked about them and how the skin

> is a defense about

> germs and how your body needs germs, but it doesn't

> seem to have

> helped really. Although she seems to except that

> good germs are in

> cheese, yogurt and yeast. I am scared to tell her

> that germs are

> everywhere for fear of making it worse.

>

> Your advice on tone tone of voice is good and I will

> keep it in mind.

> We are trying to be less stressed around the house

> and to keep calm

> and not obsess about her compulsions.

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

thanks

what a great analogy the cookie monster!!! but a mean controlling one

she's only 6 and wouldn't get the junk mail one but it's helpful to me

>

> > Thanks

> >

> >

> > I will talk to her about it and look at getting a

> > timer. My husband

> > has been trying to get her to reduce the time she

> > washes. Today I had

> > her delay her shower by 20 secs but she still took

> > 2. At the moment,

> > we haven't really done much habituation work with

> > her because we don't

> > know how to.

> >

> > I like the comments of others for habituation like

> > getting stuffed

> > animals and t-shirts with bees or snakes etc, but

> > germs are abstract.

> > We have however made finger puppets of good and bad

> > germs and white

> > blood cells and talked about them and how the skin

> > is a defense about

> > germs and how your body needs germs, but it doesn't

> > seem to have

> > helped really. Although she seems to except that

> > good germs are in

> > cheese, yogurt and yeast. I am scared to tell her

> > that germs are

> > everywhere for fear of making it worse.

> >

> > Your advice on tone tone of voice is good and I will

> > keep it in mind.

> > We are trying to be less stressed around the house

> > and to keep calm

> > and not obsess about her compulsions.

> >

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

it's worth a try

thanks

> >

> > Thanks

> >

> >

> > I will talk to her about it and look at getting a timer. My

husband

> > has been trying to get her to reduce the time she washes. Today

I

> had

> > her delay her shower by 20 secs but she still took 2. At the

> moment,

> > we haven't really done much habituation work with her because we

> don't

> > know how to.

> >

> > I like the comments of others for habituation like getting stuffed

> > animals and t-shirts with bees or snakes etc, but germs are

> abstract.

> > We have however made finger puppets of good and bad germs and

white

> > blood cells and talked about them and how the skin is a defense

> about

> > germs and how your body needs germs, but it doesn't seem to have

> > helped really. Although she seems to except that good germs are

in

> > cheese, yogurt and yeast. I am scared to tell her that germs are

> > everywhere for fear of making it worse.

> >

> > Your advice on tone tone of voice is good and I will keep it in

> mind.

> > We are trying to be less stressed around the house and to keep

calm

> > and not obsess about her compulsions.

> >

> >

> >

> > I like the advice

> >

> >

>