Re:im scared

[Guest guest]

"i was diagnosed with hiv last month with a cd4 count of 469,i havent told any of mt immediate family and friends,it kills me inside when i think of the virus replicating inside of me,i have started imagining death,sores all over my body. i have had shingles and they healed after taking acyclovir but as they healed i have a black scar that i think is permanent.how long does it take for the cd4 count to drop badly cause at the moment i havent started taking the treatment, are there any possibilities that im perhaps going to lose my hair? i eat healthy but i alos have a problem my stomach makes growling sounds as though im hungry, even if i eat alot it still makes noise.lastly i have a blister like on my vagina,it pains me so much,im meant to go see my clinical specialist for a full screen pap smear do you think that will help?? "It's really common to have the severe stress that you have. Finding out you have HIV is scary, but the reality is just so different than it was in the "bad old days."Looking at your address, I believe you are in the UK. There, you should have good access to care, and the scenarios you're describing are halloween like fantasies, but just not the reality of life with HIV.The progression of HIV is variable, but at a CD4 count of 469, most doctors would not recommend medications at this time. Shingles usually heal without scaring. You will not lose your hair. You're going to have a normal life, assuming you take charge of the situation, inform yourself, and when it becomes necessary, take your meds.You need to have your sore looked at, it's most likely nothing. With all the stress you're feeling now, it would be remarkable if you didn't have some stomach problems, but talk about this, and everything, with your GB.Life with HIV is what you make it. It takes a while to learn that the sky is not falling, and that life offers all of the promise that it had before. It's all really not so bad. You'll be fine.JB

[Guest guest]

Just a couple thoughts to add….

Sit for a while and come to terms with it all before you run off telling

everyone about it. Maybe find some other folks with HIV, or other folks

who have dealt with this, to talk to. This is about you, and you don’t

HAVE to tell anyone about having HIV. You can tell them later, as you

figure it out more, if you need to.

As far as for how it changes

things, well, you’re going to have to devote more time to your own health

than you would otherwise: regarding your doctors, appointments, nutritional needs,

monitoring your health… Aw shucks, but your health simply takes a greater

share of your time, now. IF you do, as says below, you have every

probability of leading a pretty normal life…. Except for one thing.

In the U.S. at least, and I think

it probable in the UK also, people add stigma and a lot of weird thoughts to

HIV. For one thing, people pile expectations on those with HIV they would

never apply to themselves, without even knowing they are doing it. In

many ways ‘it’s just a virus, you are certainly not any worse a

person for co-existing with it, and you are NOT that virus. But yep, THIS

virus is different, because other people make it so, and you’ll have to

carefully come to grips with that inside your head, in your own way. Come

to grips with how the world looks at you. I think it’s odd, but

very telling, that people don’t say “I am cancer”, they say I

‘have cancer,’ but they DO say “I am HIV+”. When you

spend more time with your own health, a CRITICAL part of that will be minding

your own psychological health, and fighting against all the odd notions people

pile on you just because THIS virus took up residence in your body.

Seattle

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of

Barrow

Sent: Saturday, December 29, 2007 5:52 AM

Subject: Re:im scared

" i was diagnosed with hiv last month with a

cd4 count of 469,i havent told any of mt immediate family and friends,it kills

me inside when i think of the virus replicating inside of me,i have started

imagining death,sores all over my body. i have had shingles and they healed

after taking acyclovir but as they healed i have a black scar that i think is

permanent.

how long does it take for the cd4 count to drop

badly cause at the moment i havent started taking the treatment, are there any

possibilities that im perhaps going to lose my hair? i eat healthy but i alos

have a problem my stomach makes growling sounds as though im hungry, even if i

eat alot it still makes noise.

lastly i have a blister like on my vagina,it pains

me so much,im meant to go see my clinical specialist for a full screen pap

smear do you think that will help?? "

It's really common to have the severe stress

that you have. Finding out you have HIV is scary, but the reality is just

so different than it was in the " bad old days. "

Looking at your address, I believe you are in

the UK. There, you should have good access to care, and the

scenarios you're describing are halloween like fantasies, but just not the

reality of life with HIV.

The progression of HIV is variable, but at

a CD4 count of 469, most doctors would not recommend medications at this time.

Shingles usually heal without scaring. You will not lose your

hair. You're going to have a normal life, assuming you take charge of the

situation, inform yourself, and when it becomes necessary, take your meds.

You need to have your sore looked at, it's most

likely nothing. With all the stress you're feeling now, it would be

remarkable if you didn't have some stomach problems, but talk about this, and

everything, with your GB.

Life with HIV is what you make it. It

takes a while to learn that the sky is not falling, and that life offers all of

the promise that it had before.

It's all really not so bad. You'll be

fine.

JB