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>When Amy described her moods the other day, I thought: that was me on

Wellbutrin. I was on a rollercoaster. Then, I got shingles. The doctor

doesn't think that the Wellbutrin triggered it, but I do. My nervous system

was in such a mess from going off zoloft and trying the Wellbutrin. Most

importantly, the wellbutrin didn't help my back pain like zoloft/prozac do.

So, I just have to cross my fingers (or legs?) for the next antidepressant.

>

> Elena

Elena,

Shingles is not a side effect of any of the antidepressants. It's probably

just a coincidence that you got shingles while taking antidepressants.

Janick

who's medical school exams are starting to be far away, but would of

remembered such side effects when studying antidepressants

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  • 2 months later...

In a message dated 02/11/2000 6:52:10 PM Eastern Standard Time,

neny@... writes:

<< " stacy kramer " <selensilvermoo-@...> wrote:

{I know I have got a great man and it took alot of time and mistakes to

find him. (Long story for another time)

_________________________________________________

,

Details, Details, without getting to personal....

I am in kind of a bind with a " Man " and need some insight (^-^)

>>

Oh goody!!!

do we now have the invitation to preach what to look for in a man??

Barb

who is married to my best friend who has a great sense of humor

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In a message dated 2/11/00 5:55:45 PM Central Standard Time,

Horsemom2@... writes:

<<

Oh goody!!!

do we now have the invitation to preach what to look for in a man?? >>

PLEASE!!!!! I think I'm getting cold feet again. February is a bad month

for me and l'amour and I'm just so stressed. is such a nice guy most

of the time, but he's really simple. I'm a complex person. Its probably

better that I'm with a simple person....but ahhhh I'm freaked out!

I dont want to be single againbecause I hate being alone and I know I love

JAmes...but I've always been in love with dating .....the first few months

were always the best. I was a seriel dater and I think alot of that has to

do with self-esteem issues (as if ya'll haven't noticed). I just want our

relationship to be kind of like we are dating only a small percentage of the

time. Sometimes I just want to be surprised. Actually the beggining of

' and my relationship was weird..because I kept thinking he's not my

type and I'll go out with a few more times...but it wont last. Is that not

weird or what? I was dating several other guys with alot of potential but I

got rid of them because introduced me to someone as his girlfriend

(after several months) and I just couldnt get rid of him then.

Okay breathe...I need to remember to take my pills...I think I think much

clearer when I remember.

Who hopes somebody went through something similar

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In a message dated 02/12/2000 3:44:07 AM Eastern Standard Time,

GalofGOP@... writes:

<<

Who hopes somebody went through something similar >>

,

part of growing up is trading in the excitement of new infatuations for a

solid relationship. Only you can decide if you have reached that point yet.

Some folks just aren't the marrying kind either. I went from being very

fickled to realizing a good life companion was more important. Unfortunately,

my first husband didn't treat me like his best friend so I left although he

was alot better looking than my present husband. Life is about trade-offs and

only you can prioritize what you want and need.

Barb

who worries your need for a chauffeur perhaps makes you more dependent in

this situation too

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In a message dated 2/12/00 6:57:02 AM Central Standard Time,

Horsemom2@... writes:

<<

,

part of growing up is trading in the excitement of new infatuations for a

solid relationship. Only you can decide if you have reached that point yet.

Some folks just aren't the marrying kind either. I went from being very

fickled to realizing a good life companion was more important.

Unfortunately,

my first husband didn't treat me like his best friend so I left although he

was alot better looking than my present husband. Life is about trade-offs

and

only you can prioritize what you want and need.

Barb

who worries your need for a chauffeur perhaps makes you more dependent in

this situation too >>

Iguess I want some of those romantic moments. that you have during the first

few months. is the " I dont buy flowers because they die and they are

expensive " type. I dont want to go back to dating because I would be lonely,

I'd lose him and I always had horrible taste in men, cute but no substance,

or so smart and succesful they thought of me as a chairity case or a fixer

upper.

I can get along without driving me. I actually love walking, dont mind

the bus and have friends who drive. So I dont think that is influencing me.

I do feel better this morning. I think I might be going through some

hormonal/emotional glitches as well. The pills I take take away any sort of

libido I might have so I know that probably has alot to do with it. I'm not

looking at any one else. I'm partially just afraid that I'd turn out like my

father and be unfaithful...I wouldnt..but what if I felt that way?

One of those sleezy people that IMs you in the middle of the night looking to

" hook up " actually did me a favor last night. It reminded me partially of

what draws me to JAmes is he is not the typical male...besides loving

baseball and having an off color sense of humor. Hes very sensitive, has

eyes only for one woman (as far as I can tell) he LOVES cats (almost as much

if not more than I) and will get up at 4 AM to break up a cat fight outdoors

(like I do).

I always thought I would marry a musician or someone who was in band and

could appreciate fine arts the way I do. Half of the guys I met through

there arent interested in women...but they are my best friends, and a fourth

are really just messed up and relationships with them are just

psychotic....there are a fourth like was lucky to find that are nice

and sweet...but I never found one. is the other part of my

personality....the politics. He knows way more than I do and I will always

be learning from him about political history even if we disagree on 12% our

ideological beliefs.

ok I'm sorry for taking up so many messages lol. The last few days have not

been my best and sometimes this typing helps me think. If that makes sense.

Its like Internet therapy.

:-)

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In a message dated 2/12/00 11:19:36 AM Eastern Standard Time,

GalofGOP@... writes:

<< I always thought I would marry a musician or someone who was in band and

could appreciate fine arts the way I do. Half of the guys I met through

there arent interested in women...but they are my best friends, and a fourth

are really just messed up and relationships with them are just

psychotic....there are a fourth like was lucky to find that are nice

and sweet...but I never found one. is the other part of my

personality....the politics. >>

,

I can totally relate to this! My hubby is not who I imagined myself marrying.

Not at all. We are so different that sometimes I wonder how we have managed

to make things work! I have question though? Are you maybe getting a little

freaked because treats you so good? I know in the past, when I have

been feeling down on myself, I often do stuff to mess up the relationship

that I am in. Kind of like, this guy is too good to me and I don't deserve it

so I need to end it. It is not a conscience thought really. I used to do that

all the time. I still do at times. If my husband is being really great to me,

I'll have these thoughts in the back of my mind like he deserves better than

me. It is my low self esteem talking... I am probably making no sense. I am

so bad at trying to type! We'll have to talk in LA!

:)

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In a message dated 02/12/2000 11:19:41 AM Eastern Standard Time,

GalofGOP@... writes:

<< I'm partially just afraid that I'd turn out like my

father and be unfaithful...I wouldnt..but what if I felt that way? >>

Looking/fantasizing and touching are two different response

just Look and Dream without Touching

Barb

who is still human and still responds to a good looking guy but never touches

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In a message dated 2/12/00 10:19:43 AM Central Standard Time,

GalofGOP@... writes:

<< ok I'm sorry for taking up so many messages lol. The last few days have

not

been my best and sometimes this typing helps me think. If that makes sense.

Its like Internet therapy.

>>

I'm glad you are feeling better today. I'm glad you are giving a lot of

thought to how you are feeling also. I'd only be worried if you weren't

thinking it all through before you get married. I do think it's just a

typical case of cold feet. In reading your messages I did notice a lot of

differences in the two of you but I also noticed an equal amount of

similarities. Just keep talking to us, don't worry about how many messages

you are using. :)

Jenni

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Horsemom2@... wrote:

>

> In a message dated 02/12/2000 3:44:07 AM Eastern Standard Time,

> GalofGOP@... writes:

>

> <<

> Who hopes somebody went through something similar >>

>

> ,

> part of growing up is trading in the excitement of new infatuations for a

> solid relationship. Only you can decide if you have reached that point yet.

> Some folks just aren't the marrying kind either. I went from being very

> fickled to realizing a good life companion was more important. Unfortunately,

> my first husband didn't treat me like his best friend so I left although he

> was alot better looking than my present husband. Life is about trade-offs and

> only you can prioritize what you want and need.

>

> Barb

> who worries your need for a chauffeur perhaps makes you more dependent in

> this situation too

, listen to Barb. I agree with her completely about finding a

" long lost friend " and keeping him forever. Maybe you need a little

time away from to sort things out? What do you mean that he is

" simple " and you are " complex " ? If you mean that you are neurotic (LOL)

and he is not, that's fine. That's what my marriage is. I had to end

up with someone " normal " or I wouldn't be stable enough. My

ex-psychiatrist had several words of wisdom: (1) the right one is

someone whom you always find interesting; and (2) love is easy; it's

life that is difficult (translation: you can love and be in love with

many people, but finding a life mate is the real trick). We'll talk

more in L.A. during our sleepovers.

Elena

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galofgo-@... wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=11397

> ....there are a fourth like was lucky to find that are nice

> and sweet...but I never found one. is the other part of my

> personality....the politics. He knows way more than I do and I will

always

> be learning from him about political history even if we disagree on

12% our

> ideological beliefs.

I'd say I got lucky! The majority of band guys that I have come across

are completely messed up and about being faithful...forget it! A lot

of it was timing, too. Bob had been with the band for 8 years when I

met him, so he had already done the whole scene with regards to being

wild and crazy. I know I can trust him and I also know that there are

tons of girls out there who are going to throw themselves at Bob.

Believe me it's hard for those guys to resist the temptations on the

road. But Bob knows I won't stand for it and he loves me too much to

hurt me like that....so I am very, very lucky and know that not all of

them are like Bob!

I know what you mean about our boys not being " emotionally

challenging " ...Bob never remembers anything. He forgot my birthday

this year and it's the same day as one of the guys in the band....how

bad is that? The problem is that every day on the road for him is just

another day. So, he didn't realize it was my birthday because he had

no idea what day it was! I've definitely had to make some compromises

in terms of that " perfect " guy in my head....but, I also know that that

" perfect " guy doesn't exist. Yes, there are things about Bob that

drive me nuts (the perfectionist me), but I love him and I know that I

want him in my life. So, I let some things slide and I'm learning to

be a little more flexible. Anyway, I know what you're talking about

and the doubts are normal. Just keep talking it out with us and you'll

get a better understanding of your feelings and what you should do!

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> ok I'm sorry for taking up so many messages lol. The last few days

have not

> been my best and sometimes this typing helps me think. If that makes

sense.

> Its like Internet therapy.

>

> :-)

>

,

No need to say your sorry. We all need people to talk to and to have so

many here that you trust is a very good thing. Now I can understand how

you feel. When and I first got together I was so paranoid. I was

so afraid it was going to end up like all my relationships before or

that I was the problem with the prior relationships and I was going to

screw it up again. I was so scared and scard from before that it made

it hard to see what was real and what was fear. I even went to the

extrem of trying to push him away before he could hurt me. No matter

what I did though he stod beside me and the one thing he said to me in

the begining that made me know that he was not like anyone before was

this " I know you have been hurt and right now trust is a hard thing for

you and so is saying I love you. Thats ok cuz I can wait for you to be

ready to trust me and say I love you. I will wait all my life if I have

to for you to be ready.

See is a very sensitive man to, and he is simple and I am

complex. But he has done something for me that no one has ever done and

that is to be there for me. Not what he can get out of it and not for

what he wants but just for me and my needs. has his own way with

romance also. We talked about what we both thought romance should be

and we do for the other what they think is romantic. If feels

flowers are a waste then talk to him about sented silk flowers they are

romantic and they don't die. All you may need is to talk to each other

more to find the romance that is right for the both of you.

who is hoping this will help you out.

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GalofGOP@... wrote:

>

Never worry about long messages about your relationship. It really does

help to talk it out. You are not your dad and never will be. Like Barb

says, it is very natural to daydream and dream about other men. I think

because I dated for so long (50 men between age 16 and 33 when I met my

husband), dating is part of me. I used to worry about all the dreams I

have about other men, but I think it is natural for that to happen when

most of your life has been dating (the excitement, the flirting, the

conquest, the breakups, ... ). The dreams and daydreams take nothing

away from my relationship with my husband.

What I get from my dear, sweet husband in one day is better than

everything I got from all my boyfriends over the years. I'm not talking

about flowers, but about thoughtfulness (today, e.g., he cleaned up dog

poop outside because of my cold without asking). You can always buy

YOURSELF flowers or jewelry, ... . Oh, by the way, zoloft/prozac has

practically killed my libido, too, but the trade is well worth it.

Elena

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In a message dated 2/12/00 10:42:46 AM Central Standard Time,

Agaw12577@... writes:

<<

,

I can totally relate to this! My hubby is not who I imagined myself

marrying.

Not at all. We are so different that sometimes I wonder how we have managed

to make things work! I have question though? Are you maybe getting a little

freaked because treats you so good? I know in the past, when I have

been feeling down on myself, I often do stuff to mess up the relationship

that I am in. Kind of like, this guy is too good to me and I don't deserve

it

so I need to end it. It is not a conscience thought really. I used to do

that

all the time. I still do at times. If my husband is being really great to

me,

I'll have these thoughts in the back of my mind like he deserves better than

me. It is my low self esteem talking... I am probably making no sense. I am

so bad at trying to type! We'll have to talk in LA!

:) >>

Yes you do make sense! I have thought about it but I'm not sure if

thats what it is. I'm feeling better today. He and I had a good day lots of

hugs between us. I'm hoping its chemical really. I've had a bit of insomnia

lately (as I type this at 4 in the morning) and some other indications that

things are out of whack again. I'm going to try and be extra diligent about

actually taking my medication and if that doesnt work its off to the doctor

for me.

Thanks!

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In a message dated 2/12/00 12:51:55 PM Central Standard Time,

Horsemom2@... writes:

<<

Looking/fantasizing and touching are two different response

just Look and Dream without Touching

Barb

who is still human and still responds to a good looking guy but never touches

>>

See this is where life gets ironic. I would be just absolutely horrified if

I knew he did that. I still notice cute guys though. I don't think I could

ever look on Ford in the eye if I met him .....lol Just kidding.

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In a message dated 2/12/00 1:27:07 PM Central Standard Time, slowens@...

writes:

<<

I know what you mean about our boys not being " emotionally

challenging " ...Bob never remembers anything. He forgot my birthday

this year and it's the same day as one of the guys in the band....how

bad is that? >>

That is horrible ...I'm so sorry. My parents forgot my 16 birthday and it

scarred me for life...so I'm real senstive about people remembering now.

is good about the dates....he remembers at least but that doesnt mean

he'll want to do something. We were talking about going out to celebrate an

anniversary one time and he suggested IHOP. <gasp>

I think honestly that I'm a higher maitenance person than he is. it takes

more for me to be happy. He is simple in the fact that if he has food and

nothing went horribly wrong he's king of the world. I do need him for

balance in that sense :-)

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In a message dated 2/12/00 1:50:08 PM Central Standard Time,

selensilvermoon@... writes:

<<

See is a very sensitive man to, and he is simple and I am

complex. But he has done something for me that no one has ever done and

that is to be there for me. Not what he can get out of it and not for

what he wants but just for me and my needs. has his own way with

romance also. We talked about what we both thought romance should be

and we do for the other what they think is romantic. If feels

flowers are a waste then talk to him about sented silk flowers they are

romantic and they don't die. All you may need is to talk to each other

more to find the romance that is right for the both of you.

who is hoping this will help you out. >>

Thank you it sounds like you have a great guy. HATES it when I

bring up the subject of romance....so I might need to find a magazine article

about it and out it in the bathroom (After taking ESPN out) where he will

likely read it. He's slipped up a couple times so I KNOW he's been reading

my Cosmo and SELF.

I think I do push way sometimes..and alot of times its just because I

need solitude and I never have any alone time anymore. Of cours after I've

pushed I have to try and reel in. Poor boy, I'll try and stop treating him

like a fish.

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In a message dated 2/12/00 4:32:48 PM Central Standard Time,

etcarroll@... writes:

<<

What I get from my dear, sweet husband in one day is better than

everything I got from all my boyfriends over the years. I'm not talking

about flowers, but about thoughtfulness (today, e.g., he cleaned up dog

poop outside because of my cold without asking). You can always buy

YOURSELF flowers or jewelry, ... . Oh, by the way, zoloft/prozac has

practically killed my libido, too, but the trade is well worth it.

Elena

>>

Wow! Elena it sounds like we do have a lot in common!

I dont need jewelry...I always loose it. I just want the $3.50 bouquet at

the grocery store. I'm just such an old fashoned romantic.....I cry when I

see all the old cheesy movies where the only " sex " is a big passionate kiss

at the end.

I'm definitly going to have to do something about the zoloft/libido thing.

Seriously, even when I do notice a cute other guy I probably wouldnt have the

energy.

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In a message dated 02/13/2000 5:22:59 AM Eastern Standard Time,

GalofGOP@... writes:

<< I think I do push way sometimes..and alot of times its just because

I

need solitude and I never have any alone time anymore. Of cours after I've

pushed I have to try and reel in. Poor boy, I'll try and stop treating him

like a fish >>

LOL

This just cracked me up!!!

Barb

who wonders what kind of fish now

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In a message dated 2/13/00 9:10:17 AM Central Standard Time, srferron@...

writes:

<<

Elena and ,

I'm fortunate in that zoloft doesn't affect me in that way. However, I

know that the company that manufactures welbutrin goes out of its way

to make a big point that welbutrin does not inhibit sexual

desire/functioning. It's not an SSRI like zoloft, prozac, effexor and

paxil...it's in another " class " of antidepressants...but it might be

worth discussing the pros and cons of welbutrin with your docs.

;-)

F >>

I think Welbutrin is a MAOI Inhabitor. It has alot of contradictions with

other drugs unlike the SSRI class. I will talk to my doctor though about

this. With my previous doctor he put me on Celexa which supposedly doesnt

give you any problems but it did and it didn't help my depression at all.

I'm about to go back on the pill so I can regulate my terrible cycle and I've

read that some help increase libido to counteract the effects of

anti-depressents. I will need to do something, I dont want my honeymoon to

be me wanting to watch Conan O'Brien more than anything else ;-) Well..hmm

Conan is pretty cute.

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In a message dated 2/13/00 5:31:22 AM Eastern Standard Time, GalofGOP@...

writes:

<< I'm definitly going to have to do something about the zoloft/libido thing.

Seriously, even when I do notice a cute other guy I probably wouldnt have

the

energy. >>

I have the same problem and I am not on any kind of medication. Yikes!

:)

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Elena and ,

I'm fortunate in that zoloft doesn't affect me in that way. However, I

know that the company that manufactures welbutrin goes out of its way

to make a big point that welbutrin does not inhibit sexual

desire/functioning. It's not an SSRI like zoloft, prozac, effexor and

paxil...it's in another " class " of antidepressants...but it might be

worth discussing the pros and cons of welbutrin with your docs.

;-)

F

galofgo-@... wrote:

original article:tae-bo_on/?start=11494

> In a message dated 2/12/00 4:32:48 PM Central Standard Time,

> etcarroll@... writes:

>

> <<

> What I get from my dear, sweet husband in one day is better than

> everything I got from all my boyfriends over the years. I'm not

talking

> about flowers, but about thoughtfulness (today, e.g., he cleaned up

dog

> poop outside because of my cold without asking). You can always buy

> YOURSELF flowers or jewelry, ... . Oh, by the way, zoloft/prozac has

> practically killed my libido, too, but the trade is well worth it.

>

> Elena

> >>

>

>

> Wow! Elena it sounds like we do have a lot in common!

>

> I dont need jewelry...I always loose it. I just want the $3.50

bouquet at

> the grocery store. I'm just such an old fashoned romantic.....I cry

when I

> see all the old cheesy movies where the only " sex " is a big

passionate kiss

> at the end.

>

> I'm definitly going to have to do something about the zoloft/libido

thing.

> Seriously, even when I do notice a cute other guy I probably wouldnt

have the

> energy.

>

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In a message dated 02/13/2000 2:41:34 PM Eastern Standard Time,

mmgraves@... writes:

<< I really realize how great of a guy Mike is, for

staying with me, but also he continues to amaze me in that he allows this

guy to come into our apartment and he talks with him and shakes his hand and

doesn't have any resentment towards him. I think it takes a strong man to do

that. Sorry if this was out of line or anything, but like I said I kept

reading that line froma message and I wanted to share what I was feeling. >>

gosh, he's a SAINT!!!!

Barb

who figures he chalked it up to your age difference and knew it was a one

time experience and a learning experience at that

AKA: POMBarb, Mad-Dame Yenta, Tae-Bo Barb

" You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink "

so horsemom2 was the perfect addy for me cuz my son is one stubborn horse

<A HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/horsemom2/myhomepage/index.html " >Barb's

Places on the web</A>

don't forget to *vote for* this site once a day from each browser

<A HREF= " http://www.stankirsch.com/ " >Stan Kirsch - My Official Website -

Welcome!</A>

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In a message dated 02/13/2000 2:41:34 PM Eastern Standard Time,

mmgraves@... writes:

<< I really realize how great of a guy Mike is, for

staying with me, but also he continues to amaze me in that he allows this

guy to come into our apartment and he talks with him and shakes his hand and

doesn't have any resentment towards him. I think it takes a strong man to do

that. Sorry if this was out of line or anything, but like I said I kept

reading that line froma message and I wanted to share what I was feeling. >>

gosh, he's a SAINT!!!!

Barb

who figures he chalked it up to your age difference and knew it was a one

time experience and a learning experience at that

AKA: POMBarb, Mad-Dame Yenta, Tae-Bo Barb

" You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink "

so horsemom2 was the perfect addy for me cuz my son is one stubborn horse

<A HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/horsemom2/myhomepage/index.html " >Barb's

Places on the web</A>

don't forget to *vote for* this site once a day from each browser

<A HREF= " http://www.stankirsch.com/ " >Stan Kirsch - My Official Website -

Welcome!</A>

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In a message dated 2/13/00 9:10:17 AM Central Standard Time,

srferron@...

> writes:

>

> Elena and ,

>

> I'm fortunate in that zoloft doesn't affect me in that way. However, I

> know that the company that manufactures welbutrin goes out of its way

> to make a big point that welbutrin does not inhibit sexual

> desire/functioning. It's not an SSRI like zoloft, prozac, effexor and

> paxil...it's in another " class " of antidepressants...but it might be

> worth discussing the pros and cons of welbutrin with your docs.

>

> F, I tried Wellbutrin for just that purpose and it was a disaster for

me. When Amy described her moods the other day, I thought: that was me on

Wellbutrin. I was on a rollercoaster. Then, I got shingles. The doctor

doesn't think that the Wellbutrin triggered it, but I do. My nervous system was

in such a mess from going off zoloft and trying the Wellbutrin. Most

importantly, the wellbutrin didn't help my back pain like zoloft/prozac do. So,

I just have to cross my fingers (or legs?) for the next antidepressant.

Elena

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I have read this a few times over the past few days, cause it stays in a

message for awhile. But I keep thinking about it cause it is just there. I

know exactly what you mean Barb by looking and touching are two different

things. Now I do anyways. Hubby and I have been married for just a little

over 5 years now and at the beginning of January I had sex with another guy.

It was one of those things that just happened, and I am sorry that I did it,

but one goodthing that came out of it all was that Mike and I's relationship

is stronger because of it. I really realize how great of a guy Mike is, for

staying with me, but also he continues to amaze me in that he allows this

guy to come into our apartment and he talks with him and shakes his hand and

doesn't have any resentment towards him. I think it takes a strong man to do

that. Sorry if this was out of line or anything, but like I said I kept

reading that line froma message and I wanted to share what I was feeling.

> Looking/fantasizing and touching are two different response

> just Look and Dream without Touching

>

> Barb

> who is still human and still responds to a good looking guy but never

touches

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