Re: Danny's Blow Up

[Guest guest]

Wow I am so sorry u have eto go through that and your son too. I almost started crying reading this cuz i can see my son doing it. He has them as well but not as bad (i guess) . He was having them at night and it is horrible when u cant get them to stop and everything u say makes them even madder. I sure wish i could give u some magic advice but i dont have any. I will be praying for u and your son. Let me know how it comes out . christy

From: Sharon <kmusikmom2@...>autism Sent: Thu, January 14, 2010 12:13:11 PMSubject: Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me. The

Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.It was awful to watch. Danny didn't

even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.Sharon

[Guest guest]

Talking about blow ups, mine is having one right now, He was outside playing with his dog( great paraniese) and it pushed him down. I didnt know he was in the back yard, he was in the front. Well when he cries or blows up you can hear him from miles around. I heard him and thought he was upset cuz he wanted to play with a friend and they werent their or not answeing the door(which is rude to me) and he had been pushed down and had some dirt on him but that was all. Now he wants to get rid of his dog and get a chawawa(ms). Tis will go on for a while. and nothing will deter him from what he wants. Still cring about it i can hear him down stairs - even though I have consoled him and all..... it can go on for 30 minutes or more...... anyhow, had to say,..you know its something how one child can change everyone in a family,,,,I hate to say it but u get tired of it and it can make u kinda harden to it. anyhhow

sorry. christy

From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Thu, January 14, 2010 4:14:00 PMSubject: Re: Danny's Blow Up

I guess you have already tried an Ipod.

Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me.

The Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.It was awful to watch. Danny

didn't even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.Sharon

[Guest guest]

These are some things that help when my son becomes dysregulated.His music with earbuds on his IpodWatching videos on Youtube Favorites are school buses, garbage trucks, airplanes taking off and landing, deer, geese flying, music videos, Nick and Noggin episodes, marching bands . There is really stuff in every catagory you can imagine. This has had the second benefit of increasing his reading and typing vocabulary.Also if he is just really on a meltdown roll, putting him in a warm bath works magic at home. He emerges a calm and happy kid.Another thing that usually ends a bad moment is to give him my digital camera and let him take video and pictures. This has saved us many a time when we are out and in public like restaurant or waiting in line . At school he is able to go for a walk to refocus,he also has some things he can squeeze in his hand or bite down on that also helps.This year he goes to PE twice a day and the extra exercise has worked wonders. He gets much more work done in class with the extra time to expend some energy and get some physical sensory input. It is much the same as with a toddler Divert, Distract and DirectTheir attention elsewhere.Another thing that we have more recently discovered is that he loves to record and listen to himself on the microphone App on my iPhone.Sent from my iPhoneOn Jan 14, 2010, at 4:52 PM, CHRISTY NEMEC <graceyscustomwear@...> wrote:

Talking about blow ups, mine is having one right now, He was outside playing with his dog( great paraniese) and it pushed him down. I didnt know he was in the back yard, he was in the front. Well when he cries or blows up you can hear him from miles around. I heard him and thought he was upset cuz he wanted to play with a friend and they werent their or not answeing the door(which is rude to me) and he had been pushed down and had some dirt on him but that was all. Now he wants to get rid of his dog and get a chawawa(ms). Tis will go on for a while. and nothing will deter him from what he wants. Still cring about it i can hear him down stairs - even though I have consoled him and all..... it can go on for 30 minutes or more...... anyhow, had to say,..you know its something how one child can change everyone in a family,,,,I hate to say it but u get tired of it and it can make u kinda harden to it. anyhhow

sorry. christy

From: "pkuenstleraol" <pkuenstleraol>autism Sent: Thu, January 14, 2010 4:14:00 PMSubject: Re: Danny's Blow Up

I guess you have already tried an Ipod.

Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me.

The Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.It was awful to watch. Danny

didn't even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.Sharon

[Guest guest]

Sharon,

I know this is so hard. I have been there. It is a terrible thing to go through, and to watch. I am sorry this happened. I cant think of anything off hand, because it sounds like any suggestions I would have, you may have already done. Hang in there.

Stacie

[Guest guest]

he is allowed to have an MP3 player in his safe room or safe corner of the part-time social workers room. It has all his favorite songs on it. If he can calm down enough to remember to ask for it, it is given to him otherwise he is just asked to sit in the beanbag chair and try to calm down - if you speak to him during this all hell breaks lose again and you have to start againg from square one. It is not a pretty thing.

Sharon

From: CHRISTY NEMEC <graceyscustomwear>Subject: Re: Danny's Blow UpAutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comDate: Thursday, January 14, 2010, 12:38 PM

Wow I am so sorry u have eto go through that and your son too. I almost started crying reading this cuz i can see my son doing it. He has them as well but not as bad (i guess) . He was having them at night and it is horrible when u cant get them to stop and everything u say makes them even madder. I sure wish i could give u some magic advice but i dont have any. I will be praying for u and your son. Let me know how it comes out . christy

From: Sharon <kmusikmom2@sbcgloba l.net>AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comSent: Thu, January 14, 2010 12:13:11 PMSubject: Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me.

The Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.It was awful to watch. Danny

didn't even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.Sharon

[Guest guest]

I am intrigued if we could stop him from going from 0 to meltdown in 0 seconds it would help tremendously

From: <mwhitehead@...>Subject: Re: Danny's Blow Upautism Date: Thursday, January 14, 2010, 10:20 PM

This is a little difficult to explain in a short email but we developed a Stop Think & Plan program for Josh ...basically it taught him to do just that...stop when he was at a crossroads.. .think about his next action and follow the plan. I know this is simplistic but the point of all this rambling is that now he wears a leather wrist band with the letters S T & P embossed on it. This wristband is enough of a visual reminder for him now to stop think and follow the plan....make any sense at all?? LOL We all need visual reminders from time to time especially when we are stressed and I just thought this might help..If you want more info on the program let me know.

Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me.

The Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.It was awful to watch. Danny

didn't even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.Sharon

[Guest guest]

yes it is, funny thing about it is, that when it's done it like it never happened he can't talk about it cause it seems like he has forgotten it.

From: CHRISTY NEMEC <graceyscustomwear>Subject: Re: Danny's Blow UpAutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comDate: Thursday, January 14, 2010, 12:38 PM

Wow I am so sorry u have eto go through that and your son too. I almost started crying reading this cuz i can see my son doing it. He has them as well but not as bad (i guess) . He was having them at night and it is horrible when u cant get them to stop and everything u say makes them even madder. I sure wish i could give u some magic advice but i dont have any. I will be praying for u and your son. Let me know how it comes out . christy

From: Sharon <kmusikmom2@sbcgloba l.net>AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comSent: Thu, January 14, 2010 12:13:11 PMSubject: Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me.

The Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.It was awful to watch. Danny

didn't even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.Sharon

[Guest guest]

Why do you have to wait for him to ask in order to give it to him if he needs it to calm down?

Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.

His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me. The Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.

Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.

Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.

It was awful to watch. Danny didn't even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.

I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.

Sharon

[Guest guest]



that does sound a little counter productive...give him the support (MP3) when he needs it and you can work on him getting it himself during his calm times...role play...Just my 2 cents but having oursome of kids actually verbalize anything when they are stressed can be a huge hurdle!! Maybe helping him to go get it himself ( with no asking) might be easier??

I sure hope this doesnt sound critical....not meant to be 'telling" anyone what to do just suggestions that have worked for us...

Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me. The Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.It was awful to watch. Danny didn't even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.Sharon

[Guest guest]

I agree that asking our ASD kids to stop and think logically in the midst of a brain storm is really asking for something they are not equipped to do most of the time if ever. We have been more successful in making changes that eliminate the situations and things that set him off or stresses him. It is much easier to put our effort into this approach rather than stopping a meltdown in progress that not only stresses him but everyone around him. If does reach a dyregulated moment then his aide, teachers, peers or family jump into action and do the thinking for him to divert his attention or get him to a safe calm place.KF Sent from my iPhoneOn Jan 15, 2010, at 9:45 AM, "" <mwhitehead@...> wrote:



that does sound a little counter productive...give him the support (MP3) when he needs it and you can work on him getting it himself during his calm times...role play...Just my 2 cents but having oursome of kids actually verbalize anything when they are stressed can be a huge hurdle!! Maybe helping him to go get it himself ( with no asking) might be easier??

I sure hope this doesnt sound critical....not meant to be 'telling" anyone what to do just suggestions that have worked for us...

Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me. The Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.It was awful to watch. Danny didn't even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.Sharon

[Guest guest]

Thats a good question I guess they want him calm enough so that he will sit with the MP3 player and calm down, cause if he is still raging he will break anything or push anything or throw things. If he sits down and asks for the MP3 player they know he is ready to calm down. I will ask the social worker what we can do about this.

I think I have mentioned this already but his behaviorist wants us to try to figure out a way for Danny to self soothe and not be taken or sent out of the room. Unfortunately we have been doing that for about 4 years and it has worked until he hit puberty.

It was just so sad to watch your child in obvious pain but not be able to do anything about it. Even the Dr. was surprised how violent he got with himself and then with me. Danny is a good boy I don't know where this is coming from.

Sharon

From: CHRISTY NEMEC <graceyscustomwear>Subject: Re: Danny's Blow UpAutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comDate: Thursday, January 14, 2010, 12:38 PM

Wow I am so sorry u have eto go through that and your son too. I almost started crying reading this cuz i can see my son doing it. He has them as well but not as bad (i guess) . He was having them at night and it is horrible when u cant get them to stop and everything u say makes them even madder. I sure wish i could give u some magic advice but i dont have any. I will be praying for u and your son. Let me know how it comes out . christy

From: Sharon <kmusikmom2@sbcgloba l.net>AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comSent: Thu, January 14, 2010 12:13:11 PMSubject: Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me.

The Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.It was awful to watch. Danny

didn't even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.Sharon

[Guest guest]

Sharon, I understand. Been there. Love and blessings, Pat K

Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.

His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me. The Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.

Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.

Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.

It was awful to watch. Danny didn't even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.

I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.

Sharon

[Guest guest]

Sharon, I understand. Been there. Love and blessings, Pat K

Danny's Blow Up

Well I guess it couldn't of happened at a better time but it was hard to watch and not react. We were at the behaviorist last night and Dr. Ney asked Danny a question. I think Danny didn't remember the answer so he was trying to skirt the issues so I told him remember you were on the swing and he said oh yea. Then the doctor asked him what he did on the swimg and he couldn't come up with it so he went into a total and I mean total meltdown.

His usualy means of calming down are to leave the room, however we are trying to get him to calm down so that he doesn't have to leave the room so we wouldn't let him go. Oh man it was awful, he was hittingh is head, banging on a chair, crying and screaming and just out of control. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to come to me for a hug and I was stupid cause I talked to him - you can't talk to him when he is like this he needs peace and quiet for it to pass and then he hit me. The Dr said no you may not hit your mother or yourself. Then Danny said he wanted something from the waiting room and I said is it the legos and all of a sudden he said wait a minute there are things here I can play with and he set up a table and pulled the down the dollhouse and started making sure that the dollhouse pieces were in their place.

Dr. Ney asked how many times a week Danny does this and I said 3 or 4 mostly in school occassionally over homework but usually with me or school. He said man he goes from 0 to complete meltdown in seconds flat. I said yes that's why we don't know how to handle him and that is why is asked to leave the room at school and at Scout meetings.

Well Dr, Ney said we need to give him another strategy to calm himself down before he needs to leave the room cause he will not always be able to leave a room - I agreed. So now we are brainstorming on how to work this out.

It was awful to watch. Danny didn't even know what he was doing. He was just a lost sole. It was awful. I am so stressed about this I don't know how to help him. He has no reinforcers that work cause he doesn't care enough about anything. His father says he doesn't agree with Dr. Ney so now I am in the middle of a battle to help my son and to agree/disagree with my husband.

I am sure everybody goes through these meltdowns does anybody have any other ideas on what can be done so that he doesn't leave the room and that he can calm himself down at his seat. So far everything we have done has not worked and the teachers once they seem him getting upset send him out of the room.

Sharon