Re: What would experienced OCD parents do?

[Guest guest]

Have you told him that the fear of a needle poking him was OCD so that

he could boss it back? While I know that ERP means facing your fears,

I wonder if the child should have some control or will to " face " the

fear. If he does not want to face it, perhaps he will need a stronger

approach. What does your therapist say?

Bonnie

>

> I am just wondering how to handle this OCD issue. My 11 yr old son

> w/OCD has been doing great with his CBT also, on meds. He has

> learned how to talk back to OCD w/ his issues at school and home and

> frankly OCD seems to have disappeared for the most part.

>

> The issue is, last weekend he stepped on something and started

> thinking it may have been a needle and could have gone through his

> shoe. Of course trying to reason with him that it could not have

> been a needle is like talking to the wall. Now he will not wear

> those shoes. My question is, should I make him wear those shoes and

> face this fear?

>

> Also, this week on the school bus he thought he felt something poking

> him and of course thought it " could have been a needle " . I think

> this was just an extension to the shoe issue. Not knowing about his

> OCD the bus driver made a comment about driving the High School Kids

> and checked the seat.

>

> Thank you all for your input.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Would he wear the shoes if you disinfect them? I used a lot of Lysol when

was worried about germs, AIDS, etc. I told him it kills all kinds

of viruses, including AIDS (i think it says so on the can). I am assuming

AIDS is the issue. Was for us at times.

Kim in IA (, 16 OCD)

> I am just wondering how to handle this OCD issue. My 11 yr old son

> w/OCD has been doing great with his CBT also, on meds. He has

> learned how to talk back to OCD w/ his issues at school and home and

> frankly OCD seems to have disappeared for the most part.

>

> The issue is, last weekend he stepped on something and started

> thinking it may have been a needle and could have gone through his

> shoe. Of course trying to reason with him that it could not have

> been a needle is like talking to the wall. Now he will not wear

> those shoes. My question is, should I make him wear those shoes and

> face this fear?

>

> Also, this week on the school bus he thought he felt something poking

> him and of course thought it " could have been a needle " . I think

> this was just an extension to the shoe issue. Not knowing about his

> OCD the bus driver made a comment about driving the High School Kids

> and checked the seat.

>

> Thank you all for your input.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

> / .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

> http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner,

> Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are

> Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy

> Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or

> suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at

> louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... ,

> louisharkins@... .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

It definately is a germs, AIDS, disease OCD issue. I don't know if

the lysol would work, but would that be kinda like giving in to OCD?

I had to hide disinfectants when his first " out of control " episode

happened, including peroxide and alcohol " trying to clean germs from

his nose and eyes any scratch on his body. " Do you think this would

give his OCD the idea everything needed to be disinfected again?

>

> Would he wear the shoes if you disinfect them? I used a lot of

Lysol when

> was worried about germs, AIDS, etc. I told him it kills all

kinds

> of viruses, including AIDS (i think it says so on the can). I am

assuming

> AIDS is the issue. Was for us at times.

>

> Kim in IA (, 16 OCD)

>

> > I am just wondering how to handle this OCD issue. My 11 yr old

son

> > w/OCD has been doing great with his CBT also, on meds. He has

> > learned how to talk back to OCD w/ his issues at school and home

and

> > frankly OCD seems to have disappeared for the most part.

> >

> > The issue is, last weekend he stepped on something and started

> > thinking it may have been a needle and could have gone through his

> > shoe. Of course trying to reason with him that it could not have

> > been a needle is like talking to the wall. Now he will not wear

> > those shoes. My question is, should I make him wear those shoes

and

> > face this fear?

> >

> > Also, this week on the school bus he thought he felt something

poking

> > him and of course thought it " could have been a needle " . I think

> > this was just an extension to the shoe issue. Not knowing about

his

> > OCD the bus driver made a comment about driving the High School

Kids

> > and checked the seat.

> >

> > Thank you all for your input.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be

accessed at:

> > / .

> > Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

> > http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto

Wagner,

> > Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators

are

> > Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes,

Joye, Kathy

> > Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues

or

> > suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at

> > louisharkins@y... , louisharkins@h... ,

> > louisharkins@g... .

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Seems like you could make it a straight forward exposure therapy -

shoes on for a few minutes, or held in his hands, (or in the same

room with him . . . ocd is ridiculous really).

Sounds like it's just a new gopher popping up - something new to bop

back down in the hole.

> >

> > Would he wear the shoes if you disinfect them? I used a lot of

> Lysol when

> > was worried about germs, AIDS, etc. I told him it kills

all

> kinds

> > of viruses, including AIDS (i think it says so on the can). I am

> assuming

> > AIDS is the issue. Was for us at times.

> >

> > Kim in IA (, 16 OCD)

> >

> > > I am just wondering how to handle this OCD issue. My 11 yr old

> son

> > > w/OCD has been doing great with his CBT also, on meds. He has

> > > learned how to talk back to OCD w/ his issues at school and

home

> and

> > > frankly OCD seems to have disappeared for the most part.

> > >

> > > The issue is, last weekend he stepped on something and started

> > > thinking it may have been a needle and could have gone through

his

> > > shoe. Of course trying to reason with him that it could not

have

> > > been a needle is like talking to the wall. Now he will not wear

> > > those shoes. My question is, should I make him wear those

shoes

> and

> > > face this fear?

> > >

> > > Also, this week on the school bus he thought he felt something

> poking

> > > him and of course thought it " could have been a needle " . I

think

> > > this was just an extension to the shoe issue. Not knowing

about

> his

> > > OCD the bus driver made a comment about driving the High School

> Kids

> > > and checked the seat.

> > >

> > > Thank you all for your input.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be

> accessed at:

> > > / .

> > > Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.

(

> > > http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto

> Wagner,

> > > Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list

moderators

> are

> > > Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes,

> Joye, Kathy

> > > Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription

issues

> or

> > > suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at

> > > louisharkins@y... , louisharkins@h... ,

> > > louisharkins@g... .

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Since our daughter's main fear has been and is still currently germs

I can say that sometimes it's a hard balance between being

functional and what appears to be giving in to OCD. If you don't

disinfect the shoes or get new ones he'll obsess about them. On the

other hand, to get through the moment you could do that and

reinforce his OCD that there must be something wrong with them and

thus validating his fears if you " clean " them. But be sure, when it

rears its ugly head, it will find a way. It's like playing the wack-

a-mole game. Anyway you choose to hit it, it's going to pop up

somewhere else.

I can briefly explain our situation which was similar. Our daughter

feared germs so bad she cleaned her hands raw (to the point of

bleeding) between each class and was always late to her classes.

Anytime someone sneezed in class or coughed, the panic alarm would

go off. We had to find a way to keep her functional, yet not give

in to the OCD. So we tried hand sanitizers which she could put on

to ease her OCD but also allow a quick transition to class. It

worked, sort of. She starting getting to class on time, but she

literally bathed herself in sanitizer, putting it in her hair

(because she thought someone coughed on her from behind), on her

lips (where the food passes) and anywhere else her disease told her

she needed it.

The bottom line is that you have to find a way to strike that

balance. Since therapy seems to be working for your son (you're

very fortunate), I would suggest telling him that you are spraying

the shoes because they cost a lot of money and you can't afford to

keep buying new stuff everytime his OCD tells him his current stuff

is bad. But at the same time you need to tell him that HE doesn't

need it, no one else ever does, but his OCD isn't convinced of

that. OCD doesn't understand logic and reason like we do. So you

are striking a balance. One thing I can gurantee since I know it

all to well, is that if a quick squirt is enough for the moment, his

OCD will tell you that you need more and more each time, and more

frequently.

You could try telling him that all needles aren't bad. Some are

used for sewing, some are used for giving shots (the good kind), but

some do have germs (you have to be truthful and not paint a false

picture. His OCD needs to know that the world is not a scary place

to fear everything. Remind him that he should be in control, not

his OCD. Easier said than done, I know. I'll let you know when

that part works for us....

Hope this helps,

FD

> >

> >

> >>Would he wear the shoes if you disinfect them? I used a lot of

> >>

> >>

> >Lysol when

> >

> >

> >> was worried about germs, AIDS, etc. I told him it kills

all

> >>

> >>

> >kinds

> >

> >

> >>of viruses, including AIDS (i think it says so on the can). I

am

> >>

> >>

> >assuming

> >

> >

> >>AIDS is the issue. Was for us at times.

> >>

> >>Kim in IA (, 16 OCD)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>>I am just wondering how to handle this OCD issue. My 11 yr old

> >>>

> >>>

> >son

> >

> >

> >>>w/OCD has been doing great with his CBT also, on meds. He has

> >>>learned how to talk back to OCD w/ his issues at school and

home

> >>>

> >>>

> >and

> >

> >

> >>>frankly OCD seems to have disappeared for the most part.

> >>>

> >>>The issue is, last weekend he stepped on something and started

> >>>thinking it may have been a needle and could have gone through

his

> >>>shoe. Of course trying to reason with him that it could not

have

> >>>been a needle is like talking to the wall. Now he will not wear

> >>>those shoes. My question is, should I make him wear those

shoes

> >>>

> >>>

> >and

> >

> >

> >>>face this fear?

> >>>

> >>>Also, this week on the school bus he thought he felt something

> >>>

> >>>

> >poking

> >

> >

> >>>him and of course thought it " could have been a needle " . I

think

> >>>this was just an extension to the shoe issue. Not knowing

about

> >>>

> >>>

> >his

> >

> >

> >>>OCD the bus driver made a comment about driving the High School

> >>>

> >>>

> >Kids

> >

> >

> >>>and checked the seat.

> >>>

> >>>Thank you all for your input.

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be

> >>>

> >>>

> >accessed at:

> >

> >

> >>>/ .

> >>>Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.

(

> >>>http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto

> >>>

> >>>

> >Wagner,

> >

> >

> >>>Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list

moderators

> >>>

> >>>

> >are

> >

> >

> >>> Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes,

> >>>

> >>>

> >Joye, Kathy

> >

> >

> >>>Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription

issues

> >>>

> >>>

> >or

> >

> >

> >>>suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at

> >>>louisharkins@y... , louisharkins@h... ,

> >>>louisharkins@g... .

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>