Re: Daughter just hit puberty...help!

January 23, 2003

Vickie I use thepicture system with my daughter, It works great. Its get

Abby to do just about anything. She is only 6 and I am dreading the teen

years. I wonder at what age the hormones start to balance off and they get

back to normal. I know I was very irratable as a teenager so I suspect Abby

will be to. LOL

Pennie

January 24, 2003

If I could just keep Abby 5 forver,life would be good. LOL. As for the

deoderant she already wears it, not because she needs it but she just likes

the sensation of putting it on. So I am hopeing that continues. . I dont

think that I have ever talked to you before, where are you from? I am in

FREEZING cold michigan. My daughter is telling me to sign off the computer,

she has been sick with the flu this week, hence the damanding tone in her

voice. Only happens when she's sick. This flu really kicked her butt. Talk to

you later.

Pennie

Hope to see more posts from you soon

January 24, 2003

How old is your daughter Sondra? Do you just have the one?

Pennie

January 24, 2003

My daughter is nine, so I expect I will be in your shoes in a year or so.

However, loves baths and would live in the tub if I would let her!!

<smile>

Even if your daughter is pretty high functioning or very verbal, perhaps a

picture schedule would help her " remember " basic hygiene rules. Most kids with

autism are very visual, a posted schedule in the bathroom might help. You can

use velcro after you've laminated or covered pics with contact paper, attach

pics to velcro, attach velcro on poster board. If you make a pocket at the

bottom, she can take off the pictures as she completes each task and place them

in the pocket, for example: brush hair, brush teeth, put on deoderant, etc.

It's just a suggestion, and if this might not be good for your child, perhaps it

would work for someone else...

Vickie

Daughter just hit puberty...help!

My 12 year old hit puberty two months ago. I am at a loss as to how

to handle the following...she hates to bathe and " forgets " to put on

deodorant. She plays hard and gets teased for smelling bad. That

doesn't seem to affect her. I remind her daily to put it on, then

she'll say she has. But after a short period of time, it's evident

that she hasn't. Bathing is like pulling teeth. And that's crucial

when she's on her period. I have tried talking to her about basic

hygiene, but she isn't understanding me. Any ideas?

Peace,

January 24, 2003

Hi Penny. I've been reading your posts to the list. I don't often post, but I

do read them all.

Hormones can be wacky!! Like you, I am dreading it. I fear will

begin her period soon, as she is getting more and more pubic hair, breast are

" budding " also. I have had wear deodorant for well over a year now,

as she is a very large child and would simply get too " sweaty " . So that is not

a problem for us. The issue of periods? Well, I'm sort of leaning to shots

that would delay that, because at nine, almost ten, I don't think she is ready

for it. I'd like to delay her period for at least two years, but if I keep

debating it in my head, it will happen before I realize....

Vickie

Re: Daughter just hit puberty...help!

Vickie I use thepicture system with my daughter, It works great. Its get

Abby to do just about anything. She is only 6 and I am dreading the teen

years. I wonder at what age the hormones start to balance off and they get

back to normal. I know I was very irratable as a teenager so I suspect Abby

will be to. LOL

Pennie

January 24, 2003

you to might be to delay this but not sure if healthy to do so I to think

maybe to investigate this more for a child so young, but as you to share for

her to be so young it to be scary as she to be anywhere from 2 - 4 years or

more behind her peers in emotional , social things and for this is to be

like a 4 - 7 year old to be to have a monthly so can be to see maybe why to

be seeking answers but in true many of us who to be girls with autism have

been to go through this and in early years yes a night mare but in the end

most of us to have learned to some degrees how to care for this part of self

as we matured. For many it caused a major sensory overload with not only the

hormones and cramps but the napkins and such to be in places that we have

not had in life and now has to be there and the actual monthly to be to make

us to be to feel ill from the sensory of seeing this to be to happen to us

so many will avoid to look at it so hard to keep self cared for properly

when hard to look , secondly we tend to be to keep grabbing the areas so

move things as this to drive us crazy , and we to often lack knowing we to

not be to broadcast this to everyone and may announce to the whole class we

need to go to the bathroom because we are on our monthly LOL I to know it to

be to sound like a night mare for parents but truly we are most oblivious to

it at this age in sense of social graces and understanding of it, but it to

be to get better more so around late teens to early adult years some faster

, some slower. For me it was around I to think 17 maybe 18 before I to

understand it wasn't something to blurt out and such , but in true never

understood why they were and never had ability to form a question well

enough to ask. I to learned the cause and reasons after I to be to get

pregnant at age 24 almost 25 with my first child, then I to understand it.

When I to be to be a mom I to be maybe in true about age 13 or so socially

and emotionally in some areas of development but other parts of me was far

past my age. Yet in time I to learned to be a good mom too. At first my

daughter was like a doll baby to me but as she to grow and demands to be

more so I to learned to have a strong bond to her and she to be my priority

in life and then more children's to keep coming and then I to get smart and

say no more of these children's because they to be to hard to care for with

so many. Again in time I to learned to manage them all to various degrees.

So I to be sharing it will be hard at times yes, very hard, but keep in mind

that they to be to need to catch up in areas of development when it to be of

social and emotional ages compared to intellectual and physical areas. This

is the challenge and the difficult part for parents. Next is worrying of

early pregnancy?

Sondra

January 24, 2003

Well, we are freezing here in Louisiana, too. I know Michigan can be very

frigid, but this bone-chilling cold and wind chill has everyone irritable!! We

also have flu going around in this area, lots of people/families I know are

sick.

Hope your daughter is better very soon. I hate it when is sick!!

She's non-verbal (and echolalic), it is very hard to know when she is ill.

Usually I say if she is running fever, or not eating too well, then she is sick.

Vickie

Re: Daughter just hit puberty...help!

If I could just keep Abby 5 forver,life would be good. LOL. As for the

deoderant she already wears it, not because she needs it but she just likes

the sensation of putting it on. So I am hopeing that continues. . I dont

think that I have ever talked to you before, where are you from? I am in

FREEZING cold michigan. My daughter is telling me to sign off the computer,

she has been sick with the flu this week, hence the damanding tone in her

voice. Only happens when she's sick. This flu really kicked her butt. Talk to

you later.

Pennie

Hope to see more posts from you soon

January 24, 2003

HI Vickie!! Your daughter sounds alot like mine. is almost 13. You

have to keep drilling her to get an answer for things, sometimes it works,

sometimes not.

But to get to the illness problem, I feel like a Doctor. She will not come out

and say stomach hurts, headache, sore throat etc. I have to check her coloring,

feel her forehead, etc. like anyone would. Check what she ate, whom she was in

contact with, the weather, and do a whole checklist of possibilities. I hate it

when I bring her to the Dr. and the nurse or assistant will ask " Does she

complain or a sore throat or say Her tummy hurts " ! I wish she would, it would

help.

Just wanted you to know you're certainly NOT ALONE!!

Stay warm, I'm chilled out in Connecticut!!!! BRRRRRRRR!!!

Re: Daughter just hit puberty...help!

If I could just keep Abby 5 forver,life would be good. LOL. As for the

deoderant she already wears it, not because she needs it but she just likes

the sensation of putting it on. So I am hopeing that continues. . I dont

think that I have ever talked to you before, where are you from? I am in

FREEZING cold michigan. My daughter is telling me to sign off the computer,

she has been sick with the flu this week, hence the damanding tone in her

voice. Only happens when she's sick. This flu really kicked her butt. Talk

to

you later.

Pennie

Hope to see more posts from you soon

January 24, 2003

Yes, amazing how good our detective skills have become, isn't it? Same problem

when we go to the dentist. For a time, had problems with her teeth

and because she is very defensive in the mouth area, it is hard to brush her

teeth as well as I should. The dentist and staff would ask, how long has this

been hurting her, and I had to say, " I don't know " . When she would hold the

side of her face with this really odd look on it, then I knew she was in pain.

Thanks for the message of support, that is why I value this list so much! I'm

actually the president of our autism chapter but there are very few of us who

have girls with autism. Another member of the group posts here, ...Hi !!

<smile>

Fortunately, is very healthy except for the weight issue, so seeing

the doctor or dentist is not too difficult anymore. Also, her communication

skills have improved, expressive and receptive language, so it is easier to get

her to understand situations or what I am asking her to do.

Stay warm there in Conn!! <smile>

Vickie

Re: Daughter just hit puberty...help!

If I could just keep Abby 5 forver,life would be good. LOL. As for the

deoderant she already wears it, not because she needs it but she just

likes

the sensation of putting it on. So I am hopeing that continues. . I dont

think that I have ever talked to you before, where are you from? I am in

FREEZING cold michigan. My daughter is telling me to sign off the

computer,

she has been sick with the flu this week, hence the damanding tone in her

voice. Only happens when she's sick. This flu really kicked her butt. Talk

to

you later.

Pennie

Hope to see more posts from you soon

January 24, 2003

It's me again!! Getting to brush her teeth is like PULLING TEETH!!!

She has those vibrating battery ones, that she " tolerates " if you can call it

that. Her dentist is trying to get me to floss her teeth more, but its hard to

get her to keep her mouth open for a long enough time to sneak the floss in. He

had recommended these flossers by I can't remember off the top of my head, they

are preflossed and have a pick at the other end. It helps somewhat, but

hairbrushing and toothbrushing are still sore spots with her.

Fortunately, the dentist is a special needs and regular one too, but he slowly

gained her trust and now she goes in for a cleaning " big girl style " , without

me and Dr. says she's great about it. In fact, she laughs while waiting in the

waiting room and looks forward to the visit!! Who would figure that!!! The

girls are soooo unpredictable!!!

Re: Daughter just hit puberty...help!

If I could just keep Abby 5 forver,life would be good. LOL. As for the

deoderant she already wears it, not because she needs it but she just

likes

the sensation of putting it on. So I am hopeing that continues. . I

dont

think that I have ever talked to you before, where are you from? I am in

FREEZING cold michigan. My daughter is telling me to sign off the

computer,

she has been sick with the flu this week, hence the damanding tone in

her

voice. Only happens when she's sick. This flu really kicked her butt.

Talk to

you later.

Pennie

Hope to see more posts from you soon

January 24, 2003

No I to have 2 and the oldest one to be already to have her but she to be

not too affected and is only mild with AS but she to be a real challenge

too. She is 15 but in true about 11- 12 in typical girls with thinking and

ideas. Yet she to have what others to tell me a model shape and eyes. So yes

I to worry much about sex issues with her.My other daughter is 9 and under

developed like my older one who did not start to mature and have monthly

until almost 15. so I to be fortunate in this.

Sondra

January 24, 2003

Hi Pennie

Sorry to hear your daughter isn't feeling well. I would always rather

it be me that was sick that either of my girls. You just feel so

helpless. Hope that she feels better soon.

Tracey

Also freezing here in Ontario, Canada (-37C with wind chill) brrrr!!

Ploveabby@... wrote:

> If I could just keep Abby 5 forver,life would be good. LOL. As for

> the

> deoderant she already wears it, not because she needs it but she just

> likes

> the sensation of putting it on. So I am hopeing that continues. . I

> dont

> think that I have ever talked to you before, where are you from? I am

> in

> FREEZING cold michigan. My daughter is telling me to sign off the

> computer,

> she has been sick with the flu this week, hence the damanding tone in

> her

> voice. Only happens when she's sick. This flu really kicked her butt.

> Talk to

> you later.

>

> Pennie

>

> Hope to see more posts from you soon

>

January 24, 2003

Dear ,

Does your child respond better to the written word or visual plus the

written word? You might print how she needs to take care of herself in a

contract form, having her earn some kind of reward for doing so or make an

activity schedule showing each step to follow with a reward to work for. I

have found that even my NT teenage son responds better if I list the things

he needs to do first before he goes on the computer then when I verbally

remind him to do it. Just a thought.

Daughter just hit puberty...help!

> My 12 year old hit puberty two months ago. I am at a loss as to how

> to handle the following...she hates to bathe and " forgets " to put on

> deodorant. She plays hard and gets teased for smelling bad. That

> doesn't seem to affect her. I remind her daily to put it on, then

> she'll say she has. But after a short period of time, it's evident

> that she hasn't. Bathing is like pulling teeth. And that's crucial

> when she's on her period. I have tried talking to her about basic

> hygiene, but she isn't understanding me. Any ideas?

> Peace,

>

January 24, 2003

I to be one even now as adult who cannot be to always know source of

the not feeling good but may be to pick up signals my body is not to be

right yet unable to organize words and such to describe it or to pin point

exactly where the pain source is coming from. Not long ago I to be to feel

sleepy and weak over the weekend, wanting to sleep but couldn't be to sleep

long but was up[ pacing and stimming more than usual and irritable with

everyone not knowing I to be much sick. Not until my voice to be to changes

to me in me and then I to go to doctor and to be found with double ear

infections and strep, which later to be to gived me laryngitis and cough,

things that would be to have cued me I to be sick, but they to comed after I

to goed to the doctor. My body simply doesn't get the right signals or I to

lack in interpreting it so in true she may not be able to tell you but she

may in other ways through subtle behavior changes to drastic ones such as

increase in stimming, or decreased sleep patterns. I to wish I to have

answers for this to you but have none. I to be one who simply is hypo to

severe pains such as even delivering my children had no drugs for pain to

help as I to not be to feel too much uncomfortable to need them, but had

them all natural. My one son who to weighted 8.13 1/2 was my only one to be

to caused so much pain but was only given Demerol in IV which made me feel

spacey and odd.

Yet other things can cause me severe pains at times such as unexpected

touches to me, hugs can be to do this if not asked first. Anyways just

wanted to add why some may not tell you they to be sick until major signs to

be seen by you or others. My oldest daughter to be hyper sensitive to pains

and illness and complains of every things to be to hurt or making her sick,

she to be to feel and is hyper aware of her body.My missy is to be like me

and will be to ask me this " I am to be sick " because she to not really know.

Sondra

January 24, 2003

Hi Sondra!! Thank you so much for giving me some insight as to how one can feel

who is sick. Though is somewhat verbal, she does get very upset and

irritable when she is coming down with something. When she had caught strep for

example, her eyes turned very glassy and red. Her face was reddened. I can

tell. I always felt a seventh sense as to " diagnose her, even though I don't

know what's wrong, I know something is. But, I think most moms have that

seventh sense, and it really helps.

I had posted before about this. 's biggest problem is her hitting. She

can go through days where there is none to being slappy. We are trying to have

her hold something like a koosh ball or something soft and furry to keep her

hands busy. Time out is something we use, but feel that if she wants to be

alone and where it is quiet, doing something naughty is one way to get what she

wants!!

We feel the hormones may be the problem and she is not on any medication. She

also likes to strike mainly boys at school. She likes boys who are smaller than

her, I do not know why. Of course, she should not hit anyone, but I don't feel

she is a danger to society or lives in a violent home. I do not spank.

Teachers think communications probs could be the reason for hitting as well.

Did you ever feel the need to strike out at someone? Not to be deliberately

mean, but to maybe get away from them due to their odors, or voice, or

appearance?

I enjoy reading your responses to everyone's situationss, and value your

opinion. I know that each person is different, and that what may apply to one,

may not apply to another.

Thank you for responding to me Sondra. You are a Jewel!!!