RE: RE: recovered autistic

[Guest guest]

> Thanks Grace. I didn't realize they both were autistic. You must really

> have your hands full.

Emotionally, it started off being so much more devastating.

But honestly - - with the passing of time, it has its perks, LOL. I mean, I

can see how it might be harder to raise an NT child along with an autistic

child. When both are autistic - - well, your life is different from most

other people's, but the kids' needs are similar, so that makes things a

whole lot easier.

>

> I took Madelyn to a dept. store today and she was screaming every time I

> tried to put her in the cart. She wanted me to hold her and push her

sister

> in the cart at the same time!

Been there. Done that. Wanted to die LOL.

> heavy!!!!) Anyway, does anyone have a great way to deal with these

> situations that they would like to share? I don't want to spank her, but

I

> have to admit, it works sometimes!!!!

Well - - here is what I did. Again, remembering I have two ASD

" strong-willed " kids - this wasn't really a choice but rather the ONLY way

in the world I could ever leave the house. EVER.

That said - - I pretty much used their need for sameness against them.

They, too, fussed about the cart, embarrassed me in public by flipping out

backwards in the cart - - flopping onto the floor when being carried to put

in the cart, kicking, screaming bloody murder, etc. Well, one day, I just

decided that this was one battle I was going to win. I may not get them to

eat veggies, and I may not be able to make them speak like other kids. But

by golly - these children were going to ride in the cart so that I could go

and buy a blasted carton of eggs when I needed to!

So from that day on, for a whole entire week, I went to the supermarket or

mall. Sometimes, twice a day. Each time, in the cart they went, screaming,

hollering.... times two. Get up, and I seat them back down. Flip back, and

I seat them right side up. Walk through the mall, buy NOTHING - - and after

20 minutes of this <and a ridiculous amount of sweating!> - -we head back.

Praise, praise. Good job screaming, girl, you did good. Next time, we do

it again. Walking was simply not an option. No negotiation.

By the end of 3 days or so, the volume toned down immensely. Ice cream at

the mall helped. Cookies at the supermarket helped.

By the end of the week - - - they would both reach up to get picked up once

they got out of the car - - and got put into their seats. Off we went,

peacefully.

Unfortunately - - - the flipside of this is that at age 4.5 now - - - they

REALLY could walk beside the cart now, LOL, but nooooooooooooooo - - both

want to be in the cart. Since they are getting so big, Sydney now sits in

the back of the cart - - and Madison upfront. That leaves me almost no room

for much of anything in the cart. Make one of them walk, and she just seats

herself down in the parking lot. No go. OK......

<Sigh> Oh well. Shopping at midnight sans kids has its perks.

Good luck - - I do know how you felt while shopping. Don't bother

spanking -- just WIN! Go Jayne!!!!

Grace

[Guest guest]

Thanks you Leo! Can we clone you?! Deanna

[Guest guest]

To all the wonderful mothers, that work day in and day out with our children.

Thank you for being there for the children and us dads. I know its sometimes

hard being the parent who makes the most sacrifices To stay at home , take the

kids to the store, take the kids to the doctor, take the kids to the park,

swimming, toy store, and many other things that sometimes we dads don't get to

do to often. But when we do , we see the love and commitment that you all as

mothers have put forth. I really do love it when I get the chance to do those

things with my daughter that my wife gets to do. Plus she gets a well deserved

break. Like this morning, I get to make breakfast, give the meds and plan

something with OUR daughter today (most likely swimming and the store).

Yesterday (the 4th) was a long day for my wife so I am looking forward to today.

Not just for my wife but for me as well.

I guess there is not allot of helpful ideas I can give to everyone in the

group, but I do get allot of helpful info. from you all, that I can pass along

to my wife and oldest daughter.

Oh by the way thankyou to all the wonderful oldest siblings whom put in a great

effort to helping take care of the young ones and have learned how to have

patience with your sisters and brothers. Thanks for babysitting on Friday nights

so mom and I can have sometime to our selves. Thanks for taking them out back to

play on the swing set. Thanks for helping with letters and numbers and helping

around the house.

I know its sometimes hard, physically and mentally draining to raise a child,

who is physically or mentally challenged. But when they overcome even the

littlest obstacle, its such a relief, to know they can do it. Like swimming or

just playing with other kids. We are lucky to have or children and I wouldnt

want my children any other way. Because when I look into their faces, I see

happy. No other way to put it. Its all thanks to strong support of the people in

this house that I can leave and go to work knowing my wife and children are

safe. So many times we as husbands forget to say thank you, for all everyone

does. so thank you, thank you, thank you.

Well got to go a little girl is waiting for daddy to come and play.

Leo

P.S. this also goes to the dads whom are there everyday too. Keep up the good

work!!

Re: Re: recovered autistic

Thanks Grace. I didn't realize they both were autistic. You must really

have your hands full.

I took Madelyn to a dept. store today and she was screaming every time I

tried to put her in the cart. She wanted me to hold her and push her sister

in the cart at the same time! I swear I was wanting to spank her and pull my

hair out at the same time. She knows when to push those buttons and I'm in a

vulnerable position because there are people around and I don't want to make

a scene. So I explained to her that if she did not sit in the seat, she

would not get anything from the store. She finally " allowed " me to put her

on the floor so she could walk (thank God, because she is getting really

heavy!!!!) Anyway, does anyone have a great way to deal with these

situations that they would like to share? I don't want to spank her, but I

have to admit, it works sometimes!!!!

Jayne

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much Leo. I sent this to my husband and also saved it under

favorites so I can look at it often. VERY well said:)

Jayne

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much, Grace! It's good to know that other mom's go through this

and get frustrated too. This gives me hope!

Actually, wanted to share another solution I came up with this week. Instead

of putting Maddy in the cart inside the store, I do it before we go in and

then wait to go into the store until she is finished crying. I give her the

sign for 'all done' and then tell her verbally " mommy is going to wait until

you are done! When you are all done, we'll go into the store. " When she

realizes that she has no sympathetic audience, she stops after a few minutes!

She is still persistent in the store about taking her out after a while, but

we're getting there.

I think what you did by taking them every day was a great idea. I think once

a week isn't enough. Thank you so much for sharing!

Jayne