RE: RE: recovered autistic

[Guest guest]

I have heard some people say you recover and some people say you

can never recover. My dreams for my children is that they recover enough

as no one really knows what is wrong with them. My daughter has showed

great progress. Although she still has few very few friends. My son

however I doubt he will ever recover to even half of normalcy! Today my

daughter urinated her dress. Ugh I hate when she does such! She will be 9

in July. My middle son was potty trained completely at age 2 and my

youngest is 4 1/2 and not even wanting to go inthe potty. My dream would

be for them to be normal and from the outside look a little shy and thats

all. I sound weird huh?

Charlene

-- RE: recovered autistic

You cannot recover from autism. You can develop strategies to cope with some

characteristics. Others decrease over time but at this stage, genetic

manipulation is not happening. Temple Grandin does not describe herself as a

recovered autistic. She is still low functioning in some ways and has very

good coping strategies in others. Marriage is not an indicator of recovery.

It is an indicator that the person has learned a certain level of social

interaction, but every spectrum adult that I know has a relationship that is

nothing like the relationships experienced by nt.

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[Guest guest]

Not at all charlene, we all have hopes for our kids, i hope the same for my

daughter, that she will be able to get on in life, will never be 100%, but

be able to at least cope with things, so far she is doing really well, and i

find i am blessed by this, as things could be alot worse.

Social life really doesn;t mean much to her, she perseveres, but really has

no friends what so ever, and it really makes me feel sad.........they won;t

recover, but there is always maturity, and for some, there will be changes,

as they get older, that is how is see it anyway. Cheryl S

RE: recovered autistic

You cannot recover from autism. You can develop strategies to cope with some

characteristics. Others decrease over time but at this stage, genetic

manipulation is not happening. Temple Grandin does not describe herself as a

recovered autistic. She is still low functioning in some ways and has very

good coping strategies in others. Marriage is not an indicator of recovery.

It is an indicator that the person has learned a certain level of social

interaction, but every spectrum adult that I know has a relationship that is

nothing like the relationships experienced by nt.

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[Guest guest]

Hi Charlene,

no I don't think you sound weird. Our hope for my 5 yr old granddaughter

and my almost 16 yr old grandson, is that they both be able to lead

independently.

My granddaughter who until a couple of months ago, was almost non

verbal, has started verbally communicating. Granted, to those outside

the world of autism, her very short, clipped sentences, would be

unimpressive, but to us, they are worth all the blood, sweat, tears it

took to get to the place she is now. Last night I listened as she sang

Rock a by Baby and then she went right into Twinkle, Twinkle Little

Star.....how appropriate.

My grandson continues to worry me because of the depression he is in. I

am trying to arrange Karate lessons for him, if we can get him to

go.....no easy feat since he is well over 6' tall and is just about

squeezing into a size 14 1/2 shoe. He's our " gentle " giant who can not

bring him self to attend school because of his severe social phobias.

But you know what.......he can tell you who our president, vice

president, senators, his congressman, are. He can pick out states and

countries on an unlabeled map, and can create and upload a web site

without using programs like Microsoft Front Page. He uses Notepad and

writes all his own html.

I recently saw a segment on the news about what a large percent of high

school students could not identify the state we live in - N.Y. Some of

them didn't even know that N.Y. was a state rather than a city. And

these were kids who attended school full time! I can tell you, I wish

the s.o.b.'s from the s.d., the family court, etc. would get off of our

backs and concern themselves with these kids who are obviously learning

nothing from school.

Sorry about rambling....I promise I'll get off my soap box now.

cheezer wrote:

> I have heard some people say you recover and some people say you

>can never recover. My dreams for my children is that they recover enough

>as no one really knows what is wrong with them. My daughter has showed

>great progress. Although she still has few very few friends. My son

>however I doubt he will ever recover to even half of normalcy! Today my

>daughter urinated her dress. Ugh I hate when she does such! She will be 9

>in July. My middle son was potty trained completely at age 2 and my

>youngest is 4 1/2 and not even wanting to go inthe potty. My dream would

>be for them to be normal and from the outside look a little shy and thats

>all. I sound weird huh?

>

> Charlene

>

>

>

>-- RE: recovered autistic

>

>

>

>You cannot recover from autism. You can develop strategies to cope with some

>characteristics. Others decrease over time but at this stage, genetic

>manipulation is not happening. Temple Grandin does not describe herself as a

>recovered autistic. She is still low functioning in some ways and has very

>good coping strategies in others. Marriage is not an indicator of recovery.

>It is an indicator that the person has learned a certain level of social

>interaction, but every spectrum adult that I know has a relationship that is

>nothing like the relationships experienced by nt.

>

>

>

>

>

>__________________________________________________________________

>

>Your favorite stores, helpful shopping tools and great gift ideas.

>Experience the convenience of buying online with Shop@Netscape!

>http://shopnow.netscape.com/

>

>

>

>Get your own FREE, personal Netscape Mail account today at http://webmail

>netscape.com/

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow your 5 year old is talking that is great! My son is 4 1/2 and

still nonverbal and I would love for him to be talking at 5. Your

granddaughter gives me hope! Your grandson is a genius but since he has not

good social skills and social phobia well makes him look retarted. Its

scary but in this world its socially that makes all the difference.

Sometimes traditional setting arent the best. Ya just try to argue with

some of these so called professionals. I know what you mean all too well

about DSS and other stuff. Let them deal with this stuff with there own

children and see what they do or how they react. This one woman here who

not only doesnt have any special needs children but also has no children at

all ever told me I am abusive to my son LOL Its crazy

Charlene

-- Re: RE: recovered autistic

Hi Charlene,

no I don't think you sound weird. Our hope for my 5 yr old granddaughter

and my almost 16 yr old grandson, is that they both be able to lead

independently.

My granddaughter who until a couple of months ago, was almost non

verbal, has started verbally communicating. Granted, to those outside

the world of autism, her very short, clipped sentences, would be

unimpressive, but to us, they are worth all the blood, sweat, tears it

took to get to the place she is now. Last night I listened as she sang

Rock a by Baby and then she went right into Twinkle, Twinkle Little

Star.....how appropriate.

My grandson continues to worry me because of the depression he is in. I

am trying to arrange Karate lessons for him, if we can get him to

go.....no easy feat since he is well over 6' tall and is just about

squeezing into a size 14 1/2 shoe. He's our " gentle " giant who can not

bring him self to attend school because of his severe social phobias.

But you know what.......he can tell you who our president, vice

president, senators, his congressman, are. He can pick out states and

countries on an unlabeled map, and can create and upload a web site

without using programs like Microsoft Front Page. He uses Notepad and

writes all his own html.

I recently saw a segment on the news about what a large percent of high

school students could not identify the state we live in - N.Y. Some of

them didn't even know that N.Y. was a state rather than a city. And

these were kids who attended school full time! I can tell you, I wish

the s.o.b.'s from the s.d., the family court, etc. would get off of our

backs and concern themselves with these kids who are obviously learning

nothing from school.

Sorry about rambling....I promise I'll get off my soap box now.

cheezer wrote:

> I have heard some people say you recover and some people say you

>can never recover. My dreams for my children is that they recover enough

>as no one really knows what is wrong with them. My daughter has showed

>great progress. Although she still has few very few friends. My son

>however I doubt he will ever recover to even half of normalcy! Today my

>daughter urinated her dress. Ugh I hate when she does such! She will be 9

>in July. My middle son was potty trained completely at age 2 and my

>youngest is 4 1/2 and not even wanting to go inthe potty. My dream would

>be for them to be normal and from the outside look a little shy and thats

>all. I sound weird huh?

>

> Charlene

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Have any of you read the Temple Grandin books yet? If so, I was wondering if

these helped at all?

They really helped me out early on because it gave me so much insight into

the mind of an autistic child in her own words.

Jayne

[Guest guest]

Hi Charlene,

don't give up hope with your 4 1/2 year old son. My granddaughter just

very recently started coming out with words. I have also talked to

someone whose son was non verbal until he was 8. Hang in there and

please let me know how he is doing.

cheezer wrote:

> Wow your 5 year old is talking that is great! My son is 4 1/2 and

>still nonverbal and I would love for him to be talking at 5. Your

>granddaughter gives me hope! Your grandson is a genius but since he has not

>good social skills and social phobia well makes him look retarted. Its

>scary but in this world its socially that makes all the difference.

>Sometimes traditional setting arent the best. Ya just try to argue with

>some of these so called professionals. I know what you mean all too

>

[Guest guest]

I will and I cant wait to report success!

My daughter put the cat in the microwave today and turned it on.

The cat is alive and I had her sitting on a cement slab for time out as we

were outside doing things. When I went to go up the ladder she took off on

her bike. I went to grab her to spank and she threw her bike at me thus I

tripped and had a nice hole in my knee. It wasnt very long just 1 inch

deep not sure what part of the bike my knee fell on. It took 3 staples and

a tetnas shot. When I walked in the door from ER room her first question

mom may I have a sucker? I sure hope our relationship gets better when she

becomes a teenager.

charlene

-- Re: RE: recovered autistic

Hi Charlene,

don't give up hope with your 4 1/2 year old son. My granddaughter just

very recently started coming out with words. I have also talked to

someone whose son was non verbal until he was 8. Hang in there and

please let me know how he is doing.

cheezer wrote:

> Wow your 5 year old is talking that is great! My son is 4 1/2 and

>still nonverbal and I would love for him to be talking at 5. Your

>granddaughter gives me hope! Your grandson is a genius but since he has not

>good social skills and social phobia well makes him look retarted. Its

>scary but in this world its socially that makes all the difference.

>Sometimes traditional setting arent the best. Ya just try to argue with

>some of these so called professionals. I know what you mean all too

>

[Guest guest]

you are really having a time of it aren;t you!!! How old is your daughter

again???. Have you officially got them diagnosed by a

pshychologist.......the one that diagnosed my daughter said to me if ever i

needed to find out any other information i could contact her, and ask her

opinions on things, so far i haven;t had too, but i know if i need it i can.

stay in touch. Cheryl S

Re: RE: recovered autistic

Hi Charlene,

don't give up hope with your 4 1/2 year old son. My granddaughter just

very recently started coming out with words. I have also talked to

someone whose son was non verbal until he was 8. Hang in there and

please let me know how he is doing.

cheezer wrote:

> Wow your 5 year old is talking that is great! My son is 4 1/2 and

>still nonverbal and I would love for him to be talking at 5. Your

>granddaughter gives me hope! Your grandson is a genius but since he has not

>good social skills and social phobia well makes him look retarted. Its

>scary but in this world its socially that makes all the difference.

>Sometimes traditional setting arent the best. Ya just try to argue with

>some of these so called professionals. I know what you mean all too

>

[Guest guest]

is soon to be 9 years old by end of july. My son was

diagnosed by a pediatric neurologist specialist but my daughter was never

officially diagnosed. I would love for them to see a pshychologist but none

available for private insurance. Just medicaid for now. I am hoping to

get her diagnosed at childrens in Denver but since we gave a new mexico

address for tax purposes since they will be going to school there now have

to change insurances. I hate polotics! Wish me luck if I get this PPO.

charlene

-- Re: RE: recovered autistic

Hi Charlene,

don't give up hope with your 4 1/2 year old son. My granddaughter just

very recently started coming out with words. I have also talked to

someone whose son was non verbal until he was 8. Hang in there and

please let me know how he is doing.

cheezer wrote:

> Wow your 5 year old is talking that is great! My son is 4 1/2 and

>still nonverbal and I would love for him to be talking at 5. Your

>granddaughter gives me hope! Your grandson is a genius but since he has not

>good social skills and social phobia well makes him look retarted. Its

>scary but in this world its socially that makes all the difference.

>Sometimes traditional setting arent the best. Ya just try to argue with

>some of these so called professionals. I know what you mean all too

>

[Guest guest]

You sure have a complicated way in the US it seems. I think you really do

need to get your daughter officially diagnosed, then maybe it will open some

doors for access to services to help her and to help you. All the

best.....wish there was more i could say. cheryl S

Re: RE: recovered autistic

Hi Charlene,

don't give up hope with your 4 1/2 year old son. My granddaughter just

very recently started coming out with words. I have also talked to

someone whose son was non verbal until he was 8. Hang in there and

please let me know how he is doing.

cheezer wrote:

> Wow your 5 year old is talking that is great! My son is 4 1/2 and

>still nonverbal and I would love for him to be talking at 5. Your

>granddaughter gives me hope! Your grandson is a genius but since he has not

>good social skills and social phobia well makes him look retarted. Its

>scary but in this world its socially that makes all the difference.

>Sometimes traditional setting arent the best. Ya just try to argue with

>some of these so called professionals. I know what you mean all too

>

[Guest guest]

That's why I love the poem " Welcome to Holland " . It so perfectly describes

how we mourne over the loss of that perfect child and how we come to love the

special things about the child we now have. I know that my life would be so

empty now if Maddy weren't in it. She has taught me things that no one else

ever could have. She's my angel.

Jayne

[Guest guest]

That's why I love the poem " Welcome to Holland " . It so perfectly describes

how we mourne over the loss of that perfect child and how we come to love the

special things about the child we now have. I know that my life would be so

empty now if Maddy weren't in it. She has taught me things that no one else

ever could have. She's my angel.

Jayne

[Guest guest]

Very well said Jayne! Deanna

[Guest guest]

Thanks . You explained it so well.

As for marriage, I would actually be quite happy to have Maddy with me for

the rest of my life. I definitely want her to be able to take care of

herself, but our family adores her and of course, being the baby and

autistic, she has a double dose of the over protective family!!! She is very

affectionate to everyone except doctors (don't blame her there). We have so

much hope now. Every day she does something new. Although she is not

cognitively where she should be, we know that she is progressing and that is

the blessing.

Anyway, sorry for rambling.

Jayne

[Guest guest]

I don't think Temple has ever said she was recovered. And I agree that she

is more hfa than Aspergers. D

[Guest guest]

LOL Grace! Madelyn is quite naughty. Luckily for her, she's very cute and

has daddy wrapped. Her sister is very smart for 5 years old. They are

complete opposites as well. Maddy also has two older brothers (my step sons)

who are teenagers and adore her as well. These kids are smart. They know

which buttons to push and when.

How does your other child handle having an autistic sibling? I think in the

long run, Carly will be much more sensitive to those with special needs. I

think she will be more compassionate and that's the blessing.

Jayne

[Guest guest]

I think Temple Grandin has done a great thing by sharing her life and

thoughts with others. Like I said before, it helped me so much in the

beginning with coming to grips with my daughter's diagnosis. I actually

suspected autism very early on, before we had any dx. My husband was very

much in denial and would get frustrated when I brought it up. But moms know.

His denial in some ways though has helped her grow, I think. He does baby

her in some ways (because she's the baby), but also, he doesn't treat her any

differently because of the autism. I do, and I know that's not good for her

in the long run. It's hard for me though. He is so nonchalant about

discipline, where I am very careful about how I deal with things. Sometimes

too careful. Now we have learned to balance eachother out a bit. It's a

good thing.

Jayne

[Guest guest]

Jayne, we (my husband and I) always say the same thing. It's like an inside

joke now, LOL. Wherever Madison is concerned, we always add a sidenote:

" And we'll be living with her for the rest of our lives! " LOL (To which my

husband adds, " So long as ONE of the two leave..... "

Like your Maddy, she is SO sweet, loves everyone, and is as bright as a

button. (She hates doctors too, go figure, huh?) But - she is also the

most noncompliant kid, stubborn, willful, and impatient, when it comes to

learning. She can figure out anything, so long as it can get her into

trouble - -but if it's educational, well, she's outta there. " Touch your

nose, " says I, and she knocks on the wall, giggles, and runs away. <sigh>

It ain't so bad... having one kid with you for the remainder of your days.

Sydney, on the other hand, is just a mean, lean, learning machine. I love

that child of mine, but gosh darn it - she WILL leave my house one day

LOLOL!!!

Grace

Re: Re: recovered autistic

> Thanks . You explained it so well.

>

> As for marriage, I would actually be quite happy to have Maddy with me for

> the rest of my life. I definitely want her to be able to take care of

> herself, but our family adores her and of course, being the baby and

> autistic, she has a double dose of the over protective family!!! She is

very

> affectionate to everyone except doctors (don't blame her there). We have

so

> much hope now. Every day she does something new. Although she is not

> cognitively where she should be, we know that she is progressing and that

is

> the blessing.

>

> Anyway, sorry for rambling.

>

> Jayne

>

>

[Guest guest]

I also dream about Adonia being I guess " recovered. " Right now though I

very much worry about her safety in the future. I guess I want her to be

happy and I hope some day she will have friends. .

Re: Recovered Autistic

> I also have been told that it is not possible to actually " recover " , just

to learn strategies to cope and fit in.

>

> Funny isn't it how when your child is 1st born you create tons of

aspirations for them, college, degree, happy family, great job etc. Now all

I dream of is being happy, finding someone who could love her as

much as we do (and that I fear will be almost impossible given how

self-absorbed she is), and living independently.

>

> We just " moved the goalposts " I guess.

>

> Debbie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jayne -

I envy your having older siblings to raise with your Maddy!

My girls are twins, but obviously, I didn't make myself clear in my original

post LOL. " BOTH " of them are autistic - - Madison is just a whole lot more

autistic than Sydney, that's all.

But to answer your question anyhow - - they started off liking each other,

then went on to detest each other, then Madison adored Sydney while Sydney

HATED Madison - - and now, Madison still adores Syd - and Syd is quite

tolerant. We are reaching a state of equilibrium LOL!! I agree though,

that NT siblings would most likely become very compassionate on account of a

ASD sibling, despite the hardships that much accompany that relationship.

Grace

Re: Re: recovered autistic

> LOL Grace! Madelyn is quite naughty. Luckily for her, she's very cute

and

> has daddy wrapped. Her sister is very smart for 5 years old. They are

> complete opposites as well. Maddy also has two older brothers (my step

sons)

> who are teenagers and adore her as well. These kids are smart. They know

> which buttons to push and when.

>

> How does your other child handle having an autistic sibling? I think in

the

> long run, Carly will be much more sensitive to those with special needs.

I

> think she will be more compassionate and that's the blessing.

>

> Jayne

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Grace. I didn't realize they both were autistic. You must really

have your hands full.

I took Madelyn to a dept. store today and she was screaming every time I

tried to put her in the cart. She wanted me to hold her and push her sister

in the cart at the same time! I swear I was wanting to spank her and pull my

hair out at the same time. She knows when to push those buttons and I'm in a

vulnerable position because there are people around and I don't want to make

a scene. So I explained to her that if she did not sit in the seat, she

would not get anything from the store. She finally " allowed " me to put her

on the floor so she could walk (thank God, because she is getting really

heavy!!!!) Anyway, does anyone have a great way to deal with these

situations that they would like to share? I don't want to spank her, but I

have to admit, it works sometimes!!!!

Jayne

[Guest guest]

Thanks Charlene!

I will do this next time despite the looks from others. I think that's

actually what angers me more. My daughter is screaming at the top of her

lungs (with the range of h Carey mind you) and I'm thinking I just want

to put tape over her mouth! On top of it, people think she's a spoiled brat,

not knowing what she's dealing with. But I know that if I let her get away

with it, she will be much worse off in the long run.

I appreciate the suggestions.

Thanks,

Jayne

[Guest guest]

I used to put in the cart and ignor her screaming. Her

screaming was so loud that customers would actually drop things, I would get

dirty looks ect. I was always considered an abusive mother!! Make her do

what you want. She screams ignor it. I know its hard when they screaming

so badly that you cant even hear yourself think. My daughers screams felt

like a knife going through my spine! You have to ignor there temper

tantrums. When I did this with MIchelle took about two years before she

outgrew it. I remember putting her on a swing at a school in anchorage,

when it was time to go she didnt want to go so i carried her back screaming.

There was a chain saw running in one of the yards and the man shut it off

and starred. I was surprised I didnt get turned into child abuse! I used

to spank in private but never in public because these people think child

abuse. In public I would let them scream as much as possible and they did.

I felt if I got turned in for there screaming what can they do I didnt

touch the child. My daughter knew how to manipulate still does and push

buttons. Yours is doing the same. My advice get two carts one for

grocerys or whatever your buying and the other cart for the Madelyn. If

Madelyn screams ignor her. If she wants to jump out tie her in. If you

leave her to do what she wants she will run and hide. There kids are smart

Jayne these are just suggestions of what I have done in the past with

mine. charlene

-- Re: Re: recovered autistic

Thanks Grace. I didn't realize they both were autistic. You must really

have your hands full.

I took Madelyn to a dept. store today and she was screaming every time I

tried to put her in the cart. She wanted me to hold her and push her sister

in the cart at the same time! I swear I was wanting to spank her and pull my

hair out at the same time. She knows when to push those buttons and I'm in a

vulnerable position because there are people around and I don't want to make

a scene. So I explained to her that if she did not sit in the seat, she

would not get anything from the store. She finally " allowed " me to put her

on the floor so she could walk (thank God, because she is getting really

heavy!!!!) Anyway, does anyone have a great way to deal with these

situations that they would like to share? I don't want to spank her, but I

have to admit, it works sometimes!!!!

Jayne

[Guest guest]

Charlene,

God bless you. You've been through alot! It's enough to have a child who's

autistic, but to have to deal with in laws and family being so rude is too

much to deal with. Just hang in there and stick to your guns. People are

funny. They find something to complain about and just latch on to it for

some reason, then something else will come along and you won't be the center

of their criticisms any more (hopefully). I went through something similar

with family. It's hard, but in the end, we don't have to answer to THEM

thank God:) Just hang on and take care of your kids, do what you know is

right and don't let what they have to say have any bearing on your decisions.

Only listen to those who love you and have your best interest (and your

kids' best interest) at heart.

Take care.

Jayne

[Guest guest]

All tell you a personal story that has happened to me. Its true and

since none of you live near me I feel I can talk LOL. OK here goes.

Because my daughter screamed and threw temper tantrums my extended family

accused me of not beating her or being the proper mother. Outsiders seen

this as she was a spoiled brat and I am a neglectful mother. then child

two came a boy normal and easy disposition. Then got pregnant with child 3

Same biological father, never on welfare or public assistance. I was 27

years old. The comments I heard from extended family you need to tie your

tubes. you cant even take care of the two you have and your having another

one? Why dont you learn to keep your damb legs shut? Ok here is what I

heard from outsiders You already have one retarted one (no autistic) sure

the middle one was fine but whats this one going to turn out like. He might

be worse. Maybe you should think of tying your tubes! Then we were

military going from Alaska to New Jersey when I was pg with 3rd child.

The airforce lied to us and there was no housing avaiolable. In a hotel for

over 30 days. It was chrstmas time. The doctor met me for the first time

dec 9th and I gave birth dec 16 and got a tubal ligation dec 17! I since

got a tubal reversal thanks to some special internet groups and traveling 9

hours one way to affordabillity. I had to do this against my families back

and my husbands families back. Right now my left tube is blocked and my

right tube is open. I have not been able to conceive. Maybe its a good

thing but I feel it should be my decision not my extended families or

society. I am sick and tired of people knowing everything. I also have

heard of doctors telling people to sterilize there daughters with a tubal.

I have much anger and sick and tired of dealing with people. I have alot

of hatred inside of me. I am sick of these locals telling me that I had my

son I need to take care of him. Fine I say then I say you welfare people

you chose to be poor why should I pay? It goes both ways. I am so sick of

people judging. Jayne this hasnt come without a price? I mean letting

my daughter not get her way. Not hiding my son but I have grown alot and

been hurt alot. I know what your going through. charlene

-- Re: Re: recovered autistic

Thanks Charlene!

I will do this next time despite the looks from others. I think that's

actually what angers me more. My daughter is screaming at the top of her

lungs (with the range of h Carey mind you) and I'm thinking I just want

to put tape over her mouth! On top of it, people think she's a spoiled brat,

not knowing what she's dealing with. But I know that if I let her get away

with it, she will be much worse off in the long run.

I appreciate the suggestions.

Thanks,

Jayne