Aggravated

[Guest guest]

So this is a little vent -

My inlaws are sooo wonderful to my son, Isaac who is four and who happens to be

their pride and joy.

Don't get me wrong, I love that they adore him (who wouldn't he's Mr personality

and soo smart/funny) and spoil him rotten.

But, they openly treat my Kaity different, and honestly don't pay much attention

to her, whenever we're all together. This has pretty much been the story since

we discovered she had scoli. and expecialy after her cast was put on. It

aggravates me to no end.

Yeah, she's got something different going on...but she has no control over that.

She's still full of life and loves to be loved and played with and talked to.

She has a smile and laugh that would just melt your heart. I guess I will never

understand why ppl treat other ppl with disabilities or health problems

differently. It makes me so upset...I mean I'm not new to this feeling.

My younger bro grew up with Autism and everyone treated him differently and

sometimes cruely and still do (he's 22 now) ugh it's so aggravating.

I guess I wasn't expecting this from family! My patents don't do this with her,

they love her all the more and treat my children the same. Thank goodness!

Has anyone else gone through this with family members?

Thx for listening

Mommy to Kaitlyn (14months)

50* down to under 10* in first cast

[Guest guest]

,

My MIL spoils and spends all her time and money on my stepson but even though we

live 5 minutes away she MAY see Isaiah once a month...if we take him over there.

We even asked her to babysit once for an hour and she flatly said NO! I don't

know if its the cast or that he just got diagnosed on the autism spectrum but

she doesn't even call to ask about him!

Anyway, I feel your pain.

<ohana_is_love@...> wrote:

>

>So this is a little vent -

>My inlaws are sooo wonderful to my son, Isaac who is four and who happens to be

their pride and joy.

>Don't get me wrong, I love that they adore him (who wouldn't he's Mr

personality and soo smart/funny) and spoil him rotten.

>

>But, they openly treat my Kaity different, and honestly don't pay much

attention to her, whenever we're all together. This has pretty much been the

story since we discovered she had scoli. and expecialy after her cast was put

on. It aggravates me to no end.

>Yeah, she's got something different going on...but she has no control over

that. She's still full of life and loves to be loved and played with and talked

to.

>She has a smile and laugh that would just melt your heart. I guess I will never

understand why ppl treat other ppl with disabilities or health problems

differently. It makes me so upset...I mean I'm not new to this feeling.

>My younger bro grew up with Autism and everyone treated him differently and

sometimes cruely and still do (he's 22 now) ugh it's so aggravating.

>I guess I wasn't expecting this from family! My patents don't do this with

her, they love her all the more and treat my children the same. Thank goodness!

>Has anyone else gone through this with family members?

>Thx for listening

>

>Mommy to Kaitlyn (14months)

>50* down to under 10* in first cast

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,Here's a Grandma's perspective. When my little granddaughter got her first cast 8 weeks ago, I was fearful of picking her up. I was afraid of hurting her. It wasn't until I started putting one hand under her bottom and my other hand under her arm and lifting that way (instead of under each arm) that I became comfortable. I would nicely say to your inlaws, "I have noticed you are not as comfortable with Kaity now, but she misses your attention". I would show them how to pick her up (just in case that is what is making them uncomfortable). Put words to their behavior so they realize what they are doing. I am a big believer in addressing a problem openly and right away! It might just be that they are afraid. If I was being inconsiderate, I would want to know!SandyOn Sep 11, 2010, at 7:29 PM, wrote:

So this is a little vent -

My inlaws are sooo wonderful to my son, Isaac who is four and who happens to be their pride and joy.

Don't get me wrong, I love that they adore him (who wouldn't he's Mr personality and soo smart/funny) and spoil him rotten.

But, they openly treat my Kaity different, and honestly don't pay much attention to her, whenever we're all together. This has pretty much been the story since we discovered she had scoli. and expecialy after her cast was put on. It aggravates me to no end.

Yeah, she's got something different going on...but she has no control over that. She's still full of life and loves to be loved and played with and talked to.

She has a smile and laugh that would just melt your heart. I guess I will never understand why ppl treat other ppl with disabilities or health problems differently. It makes me so upset...I mean I'm not new to this feeling.

My younger bro grew up with Autism and everyone treated him differently and sometimes cruely and still do (he's 22 now) ugh it's so aggravating.

I guess I wasn't expecting this from family! My patents don't do this with her, they love her all the more and treat my children the same. Thank goodness!

Has anyone else gone through this with family members?

Thx for listening

Mommy to Kaitlyn (14months)

50* down to under 10* in first cast

[Guest guest]

and Mel

I am so sorry that your Inlaws are treating your precious babies differently. If they only gave them a chance they would see the joy and love that these kids have. I don't know why ppl act like this, I have seen it too, not so much with family but with ppl we know. The only thing I can say is it's their loss and not yours or your childs. Joanmom to Hayden 339 degrees down from 62After 4 casts, now in a brace 23 hours/dayTreated at ish Rite Hospital Dallas, TX

From: <missikay10@...>infantile scoliosis treatment Sent: Sat, September 11, 2010 8:52:52 PMSubject: Re: Aggravated

,My MIL spoils and spends all her time and money on my stepson but even though we live 5 minutes away she MAY see Isaiah once a month...if we take him over there. We even asked her to babysit once for an hour and she flatly said NO! I don't know if its the cast or that he just got diagnosed on the autism spectrum but she doesn't even call to ask about him!Anyway, I feel your pain. <ohana_is_love@...> wrote:>>So this is a little vent ->My inlaws are sooo wonderful to my son, Isaac who is four and who happens to be their pride and joy.>Don't get me wrong, I love that they adore him (who wouldn't he's Mr personality and soo smart/funny) and spoil him rotten.> >But, they openly treat my Kaity different, and honestly don't pay much

attention to her, whenever we're all together. This has pretty much been the story since we discovered she had scoli. and expecialy after her cast was put on. It aggravates me to no end.>Yeah, she's got something different going on...but she has no control over that. She's still full of life and loves to be loved and played with and talked to.>She has a smile and laugh that would just melt your heart. I guess I will never understand why ppl treat other ppl with disabilities or health problems differently. It makes me so upset...I mean I'm not new to this feeling.>My younger bro grew up with Autism and everyone treated him differently and sometimes cruely and still do (he's 22 now) ugh it's so aggravating. >I guess I wasn't expecting this from family! My patents don't do this with her, they love her all the more and treat my children the same. Thank goodness! >Has anyone else gone through this with family

members?>Thx for listening >>Mommy to Kaitlyn (14months) >50* down to under 10* in first cast >>>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Joanie! Luv ya sista!

Mel

Joan Vallee <hayro1611@...> wrote:

> and Mel

>I am so sorry that your Inlaws are treating your precious babies differently.

If

>they only gave them a chance they would see the joy and love that these

>kids have. I don't know why ppl act like this, I have seen it too, not so much

>with family but with ppl we know. The only thing I can say is it's their loss

>and not yours or your childs.

>

> Joan

>mom to Hayden 3

>39 degrees down from 62

>After 4 casts, now in a brace 23 hours/day

>Treated at ish Rite Hospital

>Dallas, TX

>

>

>

>

>________________________________

>From: <missikay10@...>

>infantile scoliosis treatment

>Sent: Sat, September 11, 2010 8:52:52 PM

>Subject: Re: Aggravated

>

> 

>,

>My MIL spoils and spends all her time and money on my stepson but even though

we

>live 5 minutes away she MAY see Isaiah once a month...if we take him over

there.

>We even asked her to babysit once for an hour and she flatly said NO! I don't

>know if its the cast or that he just got diagnosed on the autism spectrum but

>she doesn't even call to ask about him!

>

>Anyway, I feel your pain.

>

>

>

> <ohana_is_love@...> wrote:

>

>>

>>So this is a little vent -

>>My inlaws are sooo wonderful to my son, Isaac who is four and who happens to

be

>>their pride and joy.

>>Don't get me wrong, I love that they adore him (who wouldn't he's Mr

personality

>>and soo smart/funny) and spoil him rotten.

>>

>>But, they openly treat my Kaity different, and honestly don't pay much

attention

>>to her, whenever we're all together. This has pretty much been the story since

>>we discovered she had scoli. and expecialy after her cast was put on. It

>>aggravates me to no end.

>>Yeah, she's got something different going on...but she has no control over

that.

>>She's still full of life and loves to be loved and played with and talked to.

>>She has a smile and laugh that would just melt your heart. I guess I will

never

>>understand why ppl treat other ppl with disabilities or health problems

>>differently. It makes me so upset...I mean I'm not new to this feeling.

>>My younger bro grew up with Autism and everyone treated him differently and

>>sometimes cruely and still do (he's 22 now) ugh it's so aggravating.

>>

>>I guess I wasn't expecting this from family! My patents don't do this with

her,

>>they love her all the more and treat my children the same. Thank goodness!

>>

>>Has anyone else gone through this with family members?

>>Thx for listening

>>

>>Mommy to Kaitlyn (14months)

>>50* down to under 10* in first cast

>>

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,How upsetting! The only advice I have to give is to try to gently educate them or make them aware of their behavior without a confrontation. They may become defensive, but you can try to think of as many positive ways of attacking the problem as possible. Ultimately, you can't force people to change, so they will have to see if for themselves somehow.Could it be that they just don't know how to act or what to say around a casted child? I tell people they can pick Bex up, hug him, etc.,..just a thought.Or if your husband could talk to them and lay it out, or another trusted family member or friend they would listen to? Could they have guilt because they feel they must somehow be responsible or because they can't "fix it"?Just a few thoughts, if

they won't or can't come around, I would just continue to love your little girl all the more. She has a devoted Mother!!! Heidi, Bexon's Mommy, (3 years old, in 8th cast from Salt Lake City Shriners, currently down from 62 degrees to 20 in cast- Bexon's Story is at www.girltomom.com)From: <ohana_is_love@...>"infantile scoliosis treatment " <infantile scoliosis treatment >Sent:

Sat, September 11, 2010 5:29:58 PMSubject: Aggravated

So this is a little vent -

My inlaws are sooo wonderful to my son, Isaac who is four and who happens to be their pride and joy.

Don't get me wrong, I love that they adore him (who wouldn't he's Mr personality and soo smart/funny) and spoil him rotten.

But, they openly treat my Kaity different, and honestly don't pay much attention to her, whenever we're all together. This has pretty much been the story since we discovered she had scoli. and expecialy after her cast was put on. It aggravates me to no end.

Yeah, she's got something different going on...but she has no control over that. She's still full of life and loves to be loved and played with and talked to.

She has a smile and laugh that would just melt your heart. I guess I will never understand why ppl treat other ppl with disabilities or health problems differently. It makes me so upset...I mean I'm not new to this feeling.

My younger bro grew up with Autism and everyone treated him differently and sometimes cruely and still do (he's 22 now) ugh it's so aggravating.

I guess I wasn't expecting this from family! My patents don't do this with her, they love her all the more and treat my children the same. Thank goodness!

Has anyone else gone through this with family members?

Thx for listening

Mommy to Kaitlyn (14months)

50* down to under 10* in first cast

[Guest guest]

I better not even get started on this one. My mother doesn't like little boys.

Never has. And hasn't liked me either for 25 years. She showers my eldest

daughter with gifts and gives nothing, not even for Christmas, to my son. My

newest daughter is too young to have gotten anything from her yet. The only

gift she ever gave my son (her grandson) was for his first birthday, when we

where visiting her house -- a newborn sleeper she found laying around left over

from the two grandsons that are living with her (as is their mother, my sister.)

My point is, some people are just the way they are. And people are parents too.

I am so very sorry to hear that your daughter is being treated this way. How

awful! Thank goodness for your parents! What a thing to have to add to one's

journey. I hope they can work out their issues and discover the wonderful

granddaughter they are missing out on. I come from a large extended family and

I know that often times things and people are just the way they are no matter

how hard one aims to please. I hope they come around.

Shauna

Mother of Kieran (2yrs 59* 3rd cast), Kesley (4yrs), and (5mths)

>

>

> So this is a little vent -

> My inlaws are sooo wonderful to my son, Isaac who is four and who happens to

be their pride and joy.

> Don't get me wrong, I love that they adore him (who wouldn't he's Mr

personality and soo smart/funny) and spoil him rotten.

>

> But, they openly treat my Kaity different, and honestly don't pay much

attention to her, whenever we're all together. This has pretty much been the

story since we discovered she had scoli. and expecialy after her cast was put

on. It aggravates me to no end.

> Yeah, she's got something different going on...but she has no control over

that. She's still full of life and loves to be loved and played with and talked

to.

> She has a smile and laugh that would just melt your heart. I guess I will

never understand why ppl treat other ppl with disabilities or health problems

differently. It makes me so upset...I mean I'm not new to this feeling.

> My younger bro grew up with Autism and everyone treated him differently and

sometimes cruely and still do (he's 22 now) ugh it's so aggravating.

> I guess I wasn't expecting this from family! My patents don't do this with

her, they love her all the more and treat my children the same. Thank goodness!

> Has anyone else gone through this with family members?

> Thx for listening

>

> Mommy to Kaitlyn (14months)

> 50* down to under 10* in first cast

>

[Guest guest]

My mil is the same. She would always talk about having more children so we could

have little girls in the family b/c girls were the bomb. It always upset me

because I have 2 beautiful boys and my sis in law has one. I know they were too

young to understand but still. It's rude. And what about my husband?he's a fella

to AND her son..... Some people. Now she finally has a grandaughter. Even at our

last visit she still said we needed to have another baby so we could have a

girl. Ugh. It's so hard to be polite! I am almost 39 and we are having no more

kids. Ben is like the 4 in 1 model I couldn't handle it! Also she's a nurse

(no offense to anyone else who is) but she was/is in total denial about the

problems Ben has faced. Not his back but the whole sotos syndrome and dev.

Delays thing. She has no idea the things we have went through. Instead of being

supportive and helpful with her knowledge she's a pain in the rump. When he had

his shunt put in she was

angry stating " they just wanna cut on him " whatever, like WE would let that

happen. We tracked his head curc. For a year prior to surgery. I don't really

put forth the effort to go outa my way to communicate with her. There's enough

going on in our lives without added drama. The woman has issues I cannot help

her with. Gotta love the family tree. Protect your babies from the harsh

behaviors of adults.

Tame

Sent from my iPhone

On Sep 15, 2010, at 12:21 AM, " Shauna " <scolimail@...> wrote:

I better not even get started on this one. My mother doesn't like little boys.

Never has. And hasn't liked me either for 25 years. She showers my eldest

daughter with gifts and gives nothing, not even for Christmas, to my son. My

newest daughter is too young to have gotten anything from her yet. The only

gift she ever gave my son (her grandson) was for his first birthday, when we

where visiting her house -- a newborn sleeper she found laying around left over

from the two grandsons that are living with her (as is their mother, my sister.)

My point is, some people are just the way they are. And people are parents too.

I am so very sorry to hear that your daughter is being treated this way. How

awful! Thank goodness for your parents! What a thing to have to add to one's

journey. I hope they can work out their issues and discover the wonderful

granddaughter they are missing out on. I come from a large extended family and

I know that often times

things and people are just the way they are no matter how hard one aims to

please. I hope they come around.

Shauna

Mother of Kieran (2yrs 59* 3rd cast), Kesley (4yrs), and (5mths)

So this is a little vent -

My inlaws are sooo wonderful to my son, Isaac who is four and who happens to be

their pride and joy.

Don't get me wrong, I love that they adore him (who wouldn't he's Mr personality

and soo smart/funny) and spoil him rotten.

But, they openly treat my Kaity different, and honestly don't pay much attention

to her, whenever we're all together. This has pretty much been the story since

we discovered she had scoli. and expecialy after her cast was put on. It

aggravates me to no end.

Yeah, she's got something different going on...but she has no control over that.

She's still full of life and loves to be loved and played with and talked to.

She has a smile and laugh that would just melt your heart. I guess I will never

understand why ppl treat other ppl with disabilities or health problems

differently. It makes me so upset...I mean I'm not new to this feeling.

My younger bro grew up with Autism and everyone treated him differently and

sometimes cruely and still do (he's 22 now) ugh it's so aggravating.

I guess I wasn't expecting this from family! My patents don't do this with her,

they love her all the more and treat my children the same. Thank goodness!

Has anyone else gone through this with family members?

Thx for listening

Mommy to Kaitlyn (14months)

50* down to under 10* in first cast

------------------------------------