Re: Moving discussion: was Needing other interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

[Guest guest]

Well, it's not everyone, but you and the moderator said it.

If the parent in France wants to join

ASD_Support_Atlanta email group, he will connect with a

group of adult autistics who might choose to discuss this. I will

allow further discussion of the subject there.

If you want to join, please email me at <patty@...> and make

your request.

Patty

On Friday, November 19, 2004, at 09:19 AM, Deborah son wrote:

> I agree with everyone here,this is something that should be taken

> somewhere else. Not here,we are mostly parents of young children. 

> I think that most of us feel that we hope we never have to go

> there,but when/if we do I think most of us will be able to handle this

> in a more appropiate manner. ph you should take this some place

> else. What ever you do with your son is your business,and if that is

> what you want/need to do then go ahead but be prepared for the

> consiquiences that will follow.

> This is just my opion

> Deborah son mom to Colin who is 5 yrs old today !

[Guest guest]

I can NOT believe you actually asked this man who has legitimate concerns (however "uncomfortable" they make us feel) to take his concerns elsewhere! Last time I checked this board is an Autism board. Anyone of us could face our children having a stim sexual in nature - Not just when they reach adulthood either. Is it possible that he has something to offer in the way of helping us learn how and why this has gotten out of hand so that we may avoid it down the road? It may be true that we are mainly a group that has young children but that is only due to the huge rise in Autism in recent years. One day our small children will be teenagers (ugh) and adults.

Just my thoughts...

Darla

-----Original Message-----From: E. [mailto:patriciaeclark@...]Sent: Sunday, November 21, 2004 6:33 PMautism Subject: Re: Re: Moving discussion: was Needing other interests (was autism: sex as a therapyWell, it's not everyone, but you and the moderator said it.If the parent in France wants to join ASD_Support_Atlanta email group, he will connect with a group of adult autistics who might choose to discuss this. I will allow further discussion of the subject there.If you want to join, please email me at <patty@...> and make your request.PattyOn Friday, November 19, 2004, at 09:19 AM, Deborah son wrote:> I agree with everyone here,this is something that should be taken > somewhere else. Not here,we are mostly parents of young children. > I think that most of us feel that we hope we never have to go > there,but when/if we do I think most of us will be able to handle this > in a more appropiate manner. ph you should take this some place > else. What ever you do with your son is your business,and if that is > what you want/need to do then go ahead but be prepared for the > consiquiences that will follow.> This is just my opion> Deborah son mom to Colin who is 5 yrs old today !

[Guest guest]

Darla:

I agree. My son, who is almost

7, has his hand in his pants all of the time. I have to dress him

in overalls to keep him from taking his pants off. I know that some

day he will be a teenager, then adult, and we have to face the fact that

these needs will be emerging. Any help that anyone wants to provide

this gentleman is only potentially help for all of us. Those who

are afraid to talk about sexual needs are evading.

" Darla Birchall "

<dbirchal@...>

11/22/2004 07:59 AM

Please respond to

autism

To

<autism >

cc

Subject

RE: Re:

Moving discussion: was Needing other interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

I can NOT believe you actually

asked this man who has legitimate concerns (however " uncomfortable "

they make us feel) to take his concerns elsewhere! Last time I checked

this board is an Autism board. Anyone of us could face our children

having a stim sexual in nature - Not just when they reach adulthood either.

Is it possible that he has something to offer in the way of helping

us learn how and why this has gotten out of hand so that we may avoid it

down the road? It may be true that we are mainly a group that has

young children but that is only due to the huge rise in Autism in recent

years. One day our small children will be teenagers (ugh) and adults.

Just my thoughts...

Darla

Re: Re: Moving discussion: was Needing other

interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

Well, it's not everyone, but you and the moderator

said it.

If the parent in France wants to join

ASD_Support_Atlanta email group, he will connect with a

group of adult autistics who might choose to discuss this. I will

allow further discussion of the subject there.

If you want to join, please email me at <patty@...> and

make

your request.

Patty

On Friday, November 19, 2004, at 09:19 AM, Deborah son wrote:

> I agree with everyone here,this is something that should be taken

> somewhere else. Not here,we are mostly parents of young children.

> I think that most of us feel that we hope we never have to go

> there,but when/if we do I think most of us will be able to handle

this

> in a more appropiate manner. ph you should take this some place

> else. What ever you do with your son is your business,and if that

is

> what you want/need to do then go ahead but be prepared for the

> consiquiences that will follow.

> This is just my opion

> Deborah son mom to Colin who is 5 yrs old today !

[Guest guest]

Darla,

What I cannot believe is that you think

this so called “sex” discussion in the manner in which it has been discussed

is legitimate! Remember the criteria

for DSM IV people

with autism—basically, they do not have great social skills or any for

most. What does one hope to achieve

by placing an autistic adult with a prostitute, or

anyone for that matter if that autistic adult does not know how to socialize? I

really do not want to hear about this explicit “adult” matter

(which is illegal I might add in most states). I happen to have a daughter who is 6

with social skills emerging and beginning to recover from many autistic traits. I shudder to think a 6

year old autistic boy is

thought to need to know all about sex.

Terry poling

Re: Re:

Moving discussion: was Needing other interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

Well, it's not everyone, but you and the moderator

said it.

If the parent in France wants to join

ASD_Support_Atlanta email group,

he will connect with a

group of adult autistics who might choose to

discuss this. I will

allow further discussion of the subject there.

If you want to join, please email me at

<patty@...> and make

your request.

Patty

On Friday, November 19, 2004, at 09:19 AM,

Deborah son wrote:

> I agree with everyone here,this is something

that should be taken

> somewhere else. Not here,we are mostly

parents of young children.

> I think that most of us feel that we

hope we never have to go

> there,but when/if we do I think most of us

will be able to handle this

> in a more appropiate manner. ph

you should take this some place

> else. What ever you do with your son is your

business,and if that is

> what you want/need to do then go ahead but be

prepared for the

> consiquiences that will follow.

> This is just my opion

> Deborah son mom to Colin who is 5 yrs

old today !

[Guest guest]

Terry:

We all hope that your daughter recovers, as we hope our children do, too. This

man's son is 23, I believe he said. If he hadn't said anything about a

prostitute, which is legal, by the way, in Las Vegas, would you still think the

discussion inappropriate?

Re: Re: Moving discussion: was Needing other

interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

Well, it's not everyone, but you and the moderator said it.

If the parent in France wants to join

ASD_Support_Atlanta email group, he will connect with a

group of adult autistics who might choose to discuss this. I will

allow further discussion of the subject there.

If you want to join, please email me at <patty@...> and make

your request.

Patty

On Friday, November 19, 2004, at 09:19 AM, Deborah son wrote:

> I agree with everyone here,this is something that should be taken

> somewhere else. Not here,we are mostly parents of young children.

> I think that most of us feel that we hope we never have to go

> there,but when/if we do I think most of us will be able to handle this

> in a more appropiate manner. ph you should take this some place

> else. What ever you do with your son is your business,and if that is

> what you want/need to do then go ahead but be prepared for the

> consiquiences that will follow.

> This is just my opion

> Deborah son mom to Colin who is 5 yrs old today !

[Guest guest]

Terry,

If you thought I was saying a 6 year old needs to be taught about sex - I guess I must not have said what I meant adequately. What I meant is that us parents need to know how autism may cause sexual dysfunction etc. so we know how to deal with such matters when the time comes. It sounds like some parents face it much sooner than others. This is also true of "normal" kids since I have heard of typical kids who play with themselves constantly even as babies.

I think this father is like the rest of us on a bad day - Desperate! I think he is grasping at straws for what might possibly help his son stop this stim that sounds like it has become extreme OCD. It is my personal opinion that a prostitute wouldn't solve the problem and would put his health if not even his life at risk - However, I am not a qualified to make such evaluations. Yes this man and his son need help! - I think that is why he posted his questions to begin with so do you know of good therapist or consoler etc. to get them the help they need?

Darla

-----Original Message-----From: Terry [mailto:terrypoling@...]Sent: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 4:22 PMautism Subject: RE: Re: Moving discussion: was Needing other interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

Darla,

What I cannot believe is that you think this so called “sex” discussion in the manner in which it has been discussed is legitimate! Remember the criteria for DSM IV people with autism—basically, they do not have great social skills or any for most. What does one hope to achieve by placing an autistic adult with a prostitute, or anyone for that matter if that autistic adult does not know how to socialize? I really do not want to hear about this explicit “adult” matter (which is illegal I might add in most states). I happen to have a daughter who is 6 with social skills emerging and beginning to recover from many autistic traits. I shudder to think a 6 year old autistic boy is thought to need to know all about sex. Terry poling

-----Original Message-----From: Darla Birchall [mailto:dbirchal@...] Sent: Monday, November 22, 2004 8:00 AMautism Subject: RE: Re: Moving discussion: was Needing other interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

I can NOT believe you actually asked this man who has legitimate concerns (however "uncomfortable" they make us feel) to take his concerns elsewhere! Last time I checked this board is an Autism board. Anyone of us could face our children having a stim sexual in nature - Not just when they reach adulthood either. Is it possible that he has something to offer in the way of helping us learn how and why this has gotten out of hand so that we may avoid it down the road? It may be true that we are mainly a group that has young children but that is only due to the huge rise in Autism in recent years. One day our small children will be teenagers (ugh) and adults.

Just my thoughts...

Darla

-----Original Message-----From: E. [mailto:patriciaeclark@...]Sent: Sunday, November 21, 2004 6:33 PMautism Subject: Re: Re: Moving discussion: was Needing other interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

Well, it's not everyone, but you and the moderator said it.If the parent in France wants to join ASD_Support_Atlanta email group, he will connect with a group of adult autistics who might choose to discuss this. I will allow further discussion of the subject there.If you want to join, please email me at <patty@...> and make your request.PattyOn Friday, November 19, 2004, at 09:19 AM, Deborah son wrote:> I agree with everyone here,this is something that should be taken > somewhere else. Not here,we are mostly parents of young children. > I think that most of us feel that we hope we never have to go > there,but when/if we do I think most of us will be able to handle this > in a more appropiate manner. ph you should take this some place > else. What ever you do with your son is your business,and if that is > what you want/need to do then go ahead but be prepared for the > consiquiences that will follow.> This is just my opion> Deborah son mom to Colin who is 5 yrs old today !

[Guest guest]

Why aren't we talking about how to find or help the father establish

advocacy for this young man to be released from imprisonment in a single

room with nothing to do all day? THAT's what the problem is. It's a

moral imperative NEVER to treat our autistic children and adults in this

manner.

If it isn't a human right to have education, pleasant ways to pass the

time, and the possibility of interpersonal relationships, no matter how

limited, then it SHOULD be.

Patty

http://www.autistics.cc

Cowen wrote:

> Terry:

>

> We all hope that your daughter recovers, as we hope our children do, too.

This man's son is 23, I believe he said. If he hadn't said anything about a

prostitute, which is legal, by the way, in Las Vegas, would you still think the

discussion inappropriate?

>

>

>

>

Terry <terrypoling@...> wrote:

>

> Darla,

>

> What I cannot believe is that you think this so called " sex " discussion

> in the manner in which it has been discussed is legitimate! Remember

> the criteria for DSM IV people with autism-basically, they do not have

> great social skills or any for most. What does one hope to achieve by

> placing an autistic adult with a prostitute, or anyone for that matter

> if that autistic adult does not know how to socialize? I really do not

> want to hear about this explicit " adult " matter (which is illegal I

> might add in most states). I happen to have a daughter who is 6 with

> social skills emerging and beginning to recover from many autistic

> traits. I shudder to think a 6 year old autistic boy is thought to

> need to know all about sex. Terry poling

>

> Re: Re: Moving discussion: was Needing other

> interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

> Well, it's not everyone, but you and the moderator said it.

>

> If the parent in France wants to join

> ASD_Support_Atlanta email group, he will connect with a

> group of adult autistics who might choose to discuss this. I will

> allow further discussion of the subject there.

>

> If you want to join, please email me at <patty@...> and make

> your request.

>

> Patty

>

>

> On Friday, November 19, 2004, at 09:19 AM, Deborah son wrote:

>

>

>>I agree with everyone here,this is something that should be taken

>>somewhere else. Not here,we are mostly parents of young children.

>>I think that most of us feel that we hope we never have to go

>>there,but when/if we do I think most of us will be able to handle this

>

>

>>in a more appropiate manner. ph you should take this some place

>>else. What ever you do with your son is your business,and if that is

>>what you want/need to do then go ahead but be prepared for the

>>consiquiences that will follow.

>>This is just my opion

>>Deborah son mom to Colin who is 5 yrs old today !

>

[Guest guest]

I know prostitution is legal in las vegas hence the reason that i said, " most

states. " And, i am not sure whether or not i would think it appropropriate

whether or not the word prositute was used. Maybe it is just my gut

instinct..but...masturbation is not necessarily considered abnormal..why a

parent would actually know the number of times their child masturbated I think

is odd. For the sake of argument, lets say the 23 year old goes to a prositute,

a woman, or anyone for that matter. If he does not know right from wrong

(because i guess masturbation must be wrong in his case) how does he " know " when

someone's answer is NO! How does he know he cannot just jump on someone? These

are all questions that need to be broken down specifially to the person and I do

not believe are appropriate for an audience as large as ours. I am now being

sucked into a conversation and i think this subject is getting sad. terry

>

> From: Cowen <lscowen@...>

> Date: 2004/11/24 Wed AM 01:53:56 GMT

> autism

> Subject: RE: Re: Moving discussion: was Needing other

> interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

>

>

> Terry:

>

> We all hope that your daughter recovers, as we hope our children do, too.

This man's son is 23, I believe he said. If he hadn't said anything about a

prostitute, which is legal, by the way, in Las Vegas, would you still think the

discussion inappropriate?

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Re: Re: Moving discussion: was Needing other

> interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

> Well, it's not everyone, but you and the moderator said it.

>

> If the parent in France wants to join

> ASD_Support_Atlanta email group, he will connect with a

> group of adult autistics who might choose to discuss this. I will

> allow further discussion of the subject there.

>

> If you want to join, please email me at <patty@...> and make

> your request.

>

> Patty

>

>

> On Friday, November 19, 2004, at 09:19 AM, Deborah son wrote:

>

> > I agree with everyone here,this is something that should be taken

> > somewhere else. Not here,we are mostly parents of young children.

> > I think that most of us feel that we hope we never have to go

> > there,but when/if we do I think most of us will be able to handle this

>

> > in a more appropiate manner. ph you should take this some place

> > else. What ever you do with your son is your business,and if that is

> > what you want/need to do then go ahead but be prepared for the

> > consiquiences that will follow.

> > This is just my opion

> > Deborah son mom to Colin who is 5 yrs old today !

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Patty,

As usual, you have correctly identified the crucial problem.

Joe

> Why aren't we talking about how to find or help the father

establish advocacy for this young man to be released from

imprisonment in a single room with nothing to do all day? THAT's

what the problem is. It's a moral imperative NEVER to treat our

autistic children and adults in this manner.

>

> If it isn't a human right to have education, pleasant ways to pass

the time, and the possibility of interpersonal relationships, no

matter how limited, then it SHOULD be.

>

> Patty

> http://www.autistics.cc

[Guest guest]

Terry:

I agree, it is sad. I don't think we can ignore the issue, though, because our

children are going to have to deal with it some day. Anyway, Patty has

re-directed those who want to talk about it to a more " adult " group, and I think

that's a good idea. I also think her concern that the young man apparently has

nothing to do all day but stim is a very good one. I hope that ph gets some

good ideas for help from the other group.

Re: Re: Moving discussion: was Needing other

> interests (was autism: sex as a therapy

> Well, it's not everyone, but you and the moderator said it.

>

> If the parent in France wants to join

> ASD_Support_Atlanta email group, he will connect with a

> group of adult autistics who might choose to discuss this. I will

> allow further discussion of the subject there.

>

> If you want to join, please email me at <patty@...> and make

> your request.

>

> Patty

>

>

> On Friday, November 19, 2004, at 09:19 AM, Deborah son wrote:

>

> > I agree with everyone here,this is something that should be taken

> > somewhere else. Not here,we are mostly parents of young children.

> > I think that most of us feel that we hope we never have to go

> > there,but when/if we do I think most of us will be able to handle this

>

> > in a more appropiate manner. ph you should take this some place

> > else. What ever you do with your son is your business,and if that is

> > what you want/need to do then go ahead but be prepared for the

> > consiquiences that will follow.

> > This is just my opion

> > Deborah son mom to Colin who is 5 yrs old today !

>

>

>

>

>

>