Re: Is there an HIV generation gap? (Probably not)

[Guest guest]

I appreciate hearing from men/women of all generations - I think that we all can learn from each other. I've been dealing with this for a while too (1988). Even before I knew I was positive I felt it was something that we all were in it together (early 1980s). Yes, it's probably easier to make excuses for myself since I had some sexual experiences before we absolutely knew about HIV and condoms but it was also a process for me to come to terms with. I slept with boyfriends and didn't use them till the mid 1980's. It's easy to paint a picture about my innocence and other's guilt but frankly I don't spend much time trying to do that. HIV and the problems it has caused in my and other people's lives take too much energy. I am lucky to have lived with this disease for a long as I have and still am doing ok. I'm grateful for that on most days. There are many people who are not as fortunate. To know realize that, for me, is to really squander the opportunities I have had. I hope for others to have the opportunities that I've had. We're all human, we all make mistakes in our lives. We all takes risks. Sometimes we're aware of the risks and go ahead anyway. Sometimes we think we've protected ourselves when we really haven't. Sometimes other issues cloud our judgement. I think that most of us fall into all of these catagories. Some of us end up HIV+ and some don't. Probably random luck. Younger people are getting HIV for a number of reasons. For me, how you (or I) got it always seems to be the question that wasn't important (and often self defeatingt). It was more important to take the energy I have to live with being HIV+. Making oneself guilty only helps the disease. There are enough people blaming and fearing us who are HIV- than to have those of us who are + break ourselves into the good HIVers and bad HIVers. HIV is a burden and the addition of other things such as lack of money, drug addiction, race, geography, isolation from support, etc can make it much much harder thing to deal with. At the end of the day, I've had a lot of privilege which has made HIV easier for me to deal with than others who are +. To take my relatively lucky position in this and say that I'm a better HIVer than you seems to ignore this. As I've gotten older, I realize that health is something one needs to cherish, HIV isn't the only burden people have. There are other diseases too. I'm grateful I have something that now has some types of treatments. Treatment is imperfect but much better now because of the time and energy put into them by many many people. Many people don't have that option or access to the medications that make it an option. I try to have sympathy and empathy for others HIVers. It isn't important how or when you got "it", it's important what you do when you find out. Have us "old timers" done as much as we can helping other and helping stopping the spread and devastation that the disease causes, probably not. The younger folks could easily point the finger at us on that count. That's been done but this would seem to be equally pointless. It's easy to blame or disparage others different from us. It's always been harder to find commonality across various lines. I think that we probably share many common reactions to our experiences regardless of who we are. It's horrible and scary at first but we get used to it over time (if we have that luxury). It's not easy having ones live altered irrevecably by a disease but it's equally hard to deal with a host of other problems. 

[Guest guest]

I appreciate hearing from men/women of all generations - I think that we all can learn from each other. I've been dealing with this for a while too (1988). Even before I knew I was positive I felt it was something that we all were in it together (early 1980s). Yes, it's probably easier to make excuses for myself since I had some sexual experiences before we absolutely knew about HIV and condoms but it was also a process for me to come to terms with. I slept with boyfriends and didn't use them till the mid 1980's. It's easy to paint a picture about my innocence and other's guilt but frankly I don't spend much time trying to do that. HIV and the problems it has caused in my and other people's lives take too much energy. I am lucky to have lived with this disease for a long as I have and still am doing ok. I'm grateful for that on most days. There are many people who are not as fortunate. To know realize that, for me, is to really squander the opportunities I have had. I hope for others to have the opportunities that I've had. We're all human, we all make mistakes in our lives. We all takes risks. Sometimes we're aware of the risks and go ahead anyway. Sometimes we think we've protected ourselves when we really haven't. Sometimes other issues cloud our judgement. I think that most of us fall into all of these catagories. Some of us end up HIV+ and some don't. Probably random luck. Younger people are getting HIV for a number of reasons. For me, how you (or I) got it always seems to be the question that wasn't important (and often self defeatingt). It was more important to take the energy I have to live with being HIV+. Making oneself guilty only helps the disease. There are enough people blaming and fearing us who are HIV- than to have those of us who are + break ourselves into the good HIVers and bad HIVers. HIV is a burden and the addition of other things such as lack of money, drug addiction, race, geography, isolation from support, etc can make it much much harder thing to deal with. At the end of the day, I've had a lot of privilege which has made HIV easier for me to deal with than others who are +. To take my relatively lucky position in this and say that I'm a better HIVer than you seems to ignore this. As I've gotten older, I realize that health is something one needs to cherish, HIV isn't the only burden people have. There are other diseases too. I'm grateful I have something that now has some types of treatments. Treatment is imperfect but much better now because of the time and energy put into them by many many people. Many people don't have that option or access to the medications that make it an option. I try to have sympathy and empathy for others HIVers. It isn't important how or when you got "it", it's important what you do when you find out. Have us "old timers" done as much as we can helping other and helping stopping the spread and devastation that the disease causes, probably not. The younger folks could easily point the finger at us on that count. That's been done but this would seem to be equally pointless. It's easy to blame or disparage others different from us. It's always been harder to find commonality across various lines. I think that we probably share many common reactions to our experiences regardless of who we are. It's horrible and scary at first but we get used to it over time (if we have that luxury). It's not easy having ones live altered irrevecably by a disease but it's equally hard to deal with a host of other problems. 

[Guest guest]

Hi i haven't wrote for a while but i read everyones response. Hiv 18yrs single mom now my kids are 32 & 29

I just happy to still be around for my grandkids (4) My whole life change including my body i was very depress for a while but know i'm justing trying to stay healthy. My t-cells drop to 650 and my dr. said she'll have to change the meds but i went to see her yesterday and got great news my t-cells went up to 1300.

Just want to share and let everyone know you can't give up i change my whole life around and living with hiv the best way i can

Good Luck and Stay Healthy

Eloisa, BronxNYSee what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Hi i haven't wrote for a while but i read everyones response. Hiv 18yrs single mom now my kids are 32 & 29

I just happy to still be around for my grandkids (4) My whole life change including my body i was very depress for a while but know i'm justing trying to stay healthy. My t-cells drop to 650 and my dr. said she'll have to change the meds but i went to see her yesterday and got great news my t-cells went up to 1300.

Just want to share and let everyone know you can't give up i change my whole life around and living with hiv the best way i can

Good Luck and Stay Healthy

Eloisa, BronxNYSee what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Hi i haven't wrote for a while but i read everyones response. Hiv 18yrs single mom now my kids are 32 & 29

I just happy to still be around for my grandkids (4) My whole life change including my body i was very depress for a while but know i'm justing trying to stay healthy. My t-cells drop to 650 and my dr. said she'll have to change the meds but i went to see her yesterday and got great news my t-cells went up to 1300.

Just want to share and let everyone know you can't give up i change my whole life around and living with hiv the best way i can

Good Luck and Stay Healthy

Eloisa, BronxNYSee what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

"Hi i haven't wrote for a while but i read everyones response. Hiv 18yrs single mom now my kids are 32 & 29I just happy to still be around for my grandkids (4) My whole life change including my body i was very depress for a while but know i'm justing trying to stay healthy. My t-cells drop to 650 and my dr. said she'll have to change the meds but i went to see her yesterday and got great news my t-cells went up to 1300.Just want to share and let everyone know you can't give up i change my whole life around and living with hiv the best way i canGood Luck and Stay Healthy"Hey!  Thanks for sharing your good news, and I'm glad your grandkids have you!JB

[Guest guest]

"Hi i haven't wrote for a while but i read everyones response. Hiv 18yrs single mom now my kids are 32 & 29I just happy to still be around for my grandkids (4) My whole life change including my body i was very depress for a while but know i'm justing trying to stay healthy. My t-cells drop to 650 and my dr. said she'll have to change the meds but i went to see her yesterday and got great news my t-cells went up to 1300.Just want to share and let everyone know you can't give up i change my whole life around and living with hiv the best way i canGood Luck and Stay Healthy"Hey!  Thanks for sharing your good news, and I'm glad your grandkids have you!JB

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your comforting words. I just got a report that my CD4 count

hasn't gone up. In fact, it dropped 10pts (which is a big deal when your

count is below 100.) But I'm trying not to get myself all hyped out about

it. There's so many things that I want to do and I'm trying my best to focus

on those. We only have so much time on this earth, and that we need to spend

our time wisely, is becoming clearer to me every day.

L.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your comforting words. I just got a report that my CD4 count

hasn't gone up. In fact, it dropped 10pts (which is a big deal when your

count is below 100.) But I'm trying not to get myself all hyped out about

it. There's so many things that I want to do and I'm trying my best to focus

on those. We only have so much time on this earth, and that we need to spend

our time wisely, is becoming clearer to me every day.

L.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your comforting words. I just got a report that my CD4 counthasn't gone up. In fact, it dropped 10pts (which is a big deal when yourcount is below 100.) But I'm trying not to get myself all hyped out aboutit. There's so many things that I want to do and I'm trying my best to focuson those. We only have so much time on this earth, and that we need to spendour time wisely, is becoming clearer to me every day.,I don't know your counts, so hard to make detailed comments.  Remember that T cells, though important, are only one piece of the puzzle.  T cell counts can rise and fall.   Don't panic over changes from one test to the next, but look at long term trends.JB