some news about my son

[Guest guest]

Today was a special day. Well, I intended to invite my in laws over for lunch, as we used to do at least once a month on weekends. They have always been glad to come over and all my family enjoyed them here. Last times they were here my older son was not with them, either he left...or was almost too much silent at the table. He had quit visiting them...he had even refused to answer their phone calls, as well as whomever phone calls.

Yesterday I felt like inviting them, but wasn´t sure it was a god idea.

If my son acted strange it would not be ok with them, as one has leukemia, is about to die, and the other one has just finished chemotherapy and w8ll go to surgery, so, we try our best to give them only nice things to think about specially when family memebers are envolved. MY son has been one of his favorties grandons, so, they wwre already suffering as they have noticed he hand changed his behaviour in a way no one could understand him or understand why.

So, yesterday I asked my son if he wanted to call some of his friends over to have lunch with us(everytime I sugfgested this in the last months he refused). He asked me why I was asking and then I said if he felt like it I would then ask the younger to call his girlfriend and I would call grandaparentw, so, each would have a guest. He said he would think and this morning he finally decided to invite two friends over, but the friends could not come as they had already planned something instead, but they told next time they will be here for sure.

One of theses guys is one with whom he decided to go out last night. For a long while he hadn´t felt like going out with none of his friends.

So, it was already a nice change the thing that happened yesterday.

When granparents arrived he was still in bed, so I had no idea what could happen, if he would find an excuse to go to the beach or wherever, if he would join us, if he would feel confortable or too quiet or what.

(last time he did sit at the tablw with us he was not at easy, I acted naturally, I did most of the conversation as I was used to, so everybody felt ok, but we all knew he was acting weird. I mean, that was not the boy we knew)

But then the food was set and I went there to his room to ask him if he would join us. I told him that in a few minutes all the food would be on the table, if he wanted to join us fine...I told I do not like to be pressed to to things, so, he could do whatever. But he said he would join us.

He did...and he was like last year, I mean, like he has been all his life. He laughed at his grandpas jokes, he was not a talkative, but he did ask some questions...seemed to be confortable with us...and seemed to enjoy the conversation. He even said he would play cards with us if we would need someone to make four people for the game. He played, then he set with his grandpa, etc, talked a little...and it was like he has been all his life. My in laws left my house with a huge relief as they have been worrried about him for months.

My husband told them not to be so glad, as he believes this is a process...

I confess I was surprised as well and relieved.

I am not sure what caused this.

Some hypothesis:

1- for the first time he has taken risperdal. In fact doctor prescribed one pill of 1mg daily...but he has taken only 1/4 of 1mg pill every three days.

2-last week end he did not sleep at home as the things here were too stressed...so, maybe he has done some thinking about his life...am not sure.

3-he tried to replace the room he lost the lock into the library of his university, but he did not like it...maybe this also has given him some food for thougyt in the sense he realized the good things about this house

4-I have heard your advices on having this home the most peaceful possible, and so we do not ask him things anymore, and everybody kind of agreed on not debate things anymore, simply let each do what one feels like it.

5- my husband and I have kind of shown him we do love him and respect him and we all simply want to live in a peaceful home

6-the doctor who advised me to quit with homeopathy on daily basis and go to slow doses of risperdal, prescribed a last homeopathic thing, very high, for him to take once. (it is called scorpio and it is supposed to treat issues related to anger)

7- My husband and I have realized through your posts that we should first accept him for what he is with his uncapabilities and everything

8-I have taken my prayers seriously and have prayed like never before.

It was a change that every one noticed as it was like he was back to his normal way...the look in his eye was not anymore of one stranger, of someone who seemed to be suspiscious or in rage, but the same old boy we knew.

As we-my husband and I- arrived from tango this afternoon, my husband told him he was going to do some sauna and invited him to go...if he wanted. He stayed a bit longer at the computer, but then decided to go with dad...he even took ping pong rackets so they both could play before sauna gets hot enough for them to enter it. Like in the old days when he was not suspicious or in rage with people, specially this family.

So, it seems news are good.

And I really hope we started a better phase in our lives. Too early to find out what exactly was the reason he did improve-well, it seems to be an improvement-...but I think we are maybe in the right way.

Thank you for the light and support you have given me...each was very valuable. Too early yet to celebrate, though

Marilia