Re: AS Related Topics Anyone?

[Guest guest]

Tom,

I agree that the terror discussions were a little off topic, but the rest seemed to be OK.

For example: my posts have been about my interests. Granted a lot of these have been about major current events, but some have been about scientific advancements. The economy and such might not seem like an AS related topic, but I think it is. This is because economics is a fairly logical discipline with obivous cause and effect relationships, though same parts are admittedly murky due to uncontrollable variables, especially human emotional reactions to events. Aspies should be good at economics once they have had education in it and have read some history. Perhaps if we were allowed to set the rules the economies would run more smoothly.

The posts about cloning I found interesting as well.

All this is what I refer to as discussing AS without discussing AS. By that I mean you are seeing the opinions and points of view of Aspies on a variety of topics. We have seen in these posts bits of our members lives, which I have found very interesting. We have also seen how common certain things are, like having good ideas that others have developed years later.

I have been reading the articles you put up about AS and the problems in the schools and also the more positive ones. A lot of those have focussed on kids, which is of little personal interest to me. However, I know there are a lot of parents on here who I am sure do find them useful. Unfortunately, they also seem to be the ones who do not post very often, which would explain why they don't often get responses. Still, I would keep them coming though.

P.S. I'll tone down on the terrorism posts, unless something really big comes up.

[Guest guest]

,

Hard focus mostly. Its not always easy and sometimes it is beyond handling. There are also times when noises will force their way in no matter how hard I try to block them out, especially if I am trying to read or sleep.

One thing that does help is to try not to focus on what is bothering you. Doing that only makes it seem worse and worse. Not always easy to do though. Very often I somehow manage it and don't realize it until it dawns on me that I don't hear the distraction anymore, which of course brings it right back into my attention.

The best way I have found to do this is to increase focus on what you are doing. Eventually for me this will work because I get so into what I am doing the outside stimulous will get ignored. This works with most annoyances except some of my big pet peeves like barking dogs, gum smacking/popping, music or talking from another room. I have been able to get so into reading at crowded places like the train station that the talking and all just melted awayfor long stretches. I still went outside and away from people when I could, but that was not always possible.

Earplugs are a great help, when you can get away with using them. Since I wear glasses, I have sometimes put little bits of paper like blinders on the sides to block annoying visual stimulous, though that does look weird. I also uaed to carry this black eyepatch that I got at the drugstore that I could put over one eye. That looked strange too, but most people seemed to think it was because of an injury so noone ever said anything about it the few times I had to use it. When aked I would saw it was because of an old eye injury that would flare up from time to time and I had to cover the eye to keep the air off of it. That always satisfied them.

[Guest guest]

I have a lighter version of those ear protectors that I use. Most of the time they work, but if things are really bad I will just put in earplugs too. That usually only happens though if I am travelling and can't get away from noisy people. I will also use a walkman with bud type earphones or combination earplug/headphone things. That works well too. The only problem then is that while I can ofte still hear the annoyance a little, I don't hear announcements and things, so it is a catch-22.

For visual stimuli I normally focus on what I am doing. Meals around others is a big problem because watching others eat makes me nauseous. So what I do is keep my focus on my plate and sometimes look around at places I know to be more or less "safe", having scoped those out before my food came. Window seat make this very easy to do, even though bright sunlight sometimes precludes that.

Sometimes pure chance plays a part. The last couple of times I flew, part of the trip was on small commuter jets. Getting the cheap seats really helped. On both flights, there was at least one brat who squalled and cried the whole time. Fortunately, the cheap seats were so close to the side mounted engines, I could have reached out from my window seat and touched it with my wrist. The noise was painful at first, but soon settled into a roar that I felt as much as vibration in my ears as heard it. The best part was that I couldn't hear the kid anymore. Then we landed and the brats were still going strong. I felt sorry for those up in first class. I'm telling you, there was a press to get off those planes.

Chance also plays another factor. Once I was coming home from Alabama by train but it was well behind schedule. So I got a plane ticket and hurried to the airport and just made the flight (fortunately they weren't busy so I got right through). So there I sat in the airport watching a storm roll in thinking how sick I was going to get. I get on the plane thinking the storm was going to be God's punishment for my impatience when a woman sits beside me with a little girl and a very young baby. I prayed for strength thinking I was a dead man. To my amazement, the baby stirred only once during the flight and went right back to sleep.

[Guest guest]

Sensory overload. How does one manage to be around environments with activities and incompatible lighting and be able to think clearly?

environmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote:

We're all worked up now about the terrorist attacks. (Understandably so). But I am wondering if it wouldn't help to get back to basics and discuss Aspie related topics?Anyone have any suggestions?Tom

[Guest guest]

:

> Sensory overload. How does one manage to be around environments with activities and incompatible lighting and be able to think clearly?

Wetsuit, ear protectors, sunglasses and armed body guards to create space around you? :-)

Seriously though, I really don't have a good solution other than to avoid such environments and situations as much as possible.

Or to try and change the environment to suit my way of functioning, e.g. when I have to go to the dentist or doctor, I ask that they turn off the radio and fluorescent lights and not wear perfume. I also wear earplugs which dampen all sounds without shutting them out completely.

That's all I can think of doing. Perhaps some meditation or relaxation techniques may also be of help if one has no way of avoiding or adapting the environment.

Inger

[Guest guest]

wrote:

The best way I have found to do this is to increase focus on what you are doing. Eventually for me this will work because I get so into what I am doing the outside stimulous will get ignored.

Yes! That's actually great advice. I've found this to work for me too. When totally hyperfocusing on something I can pretty much ignore everything else.

> This works with most annoyances except some of my big pet peeves like barking dogs, gum smacking/popping, music or talking from another room.

Right. There are some distractions that just can't be ignored.

> I have been able to get so into reading at crowded places like the train station that the talking and all just melted away for long stretches.

I used to do that too when I had to be out and about much. Great for passing the time when eating lunch and waiting for the bus.

Inger

[Guest guest]

ok thanks for the replies.

I have thought about earplugs prior, but avoiding such situations and environments is something I hope to overcome.

Inger Lorelei <inglori@...> wrote:

:

> Sensory overload. How does one manage to be around environments with activities and incompatible lighting and be able to think clearly?

Wetsuit, ear protectors, sunglasses and armed body guards to create space around you? :-)

Seriously though, I really don't have a good solution other than to avoid such environments and situations as much as possible.

Or to try and change the environment to suit my way of functioning, e.g. when I have to go to the dentist or doctor, I ask that they turn off the radio and fluorescent lights and not wear perfume. I also wear earplugs which dampen all sounds without shutting them out completely.

That's all I can think of doing. Perhaps some meditation or relaxation techniques may also be of help if one has no way of avoiding or adapting the environment.

Inger

[Guest guest]

This is an interesting question. I've notice that the more I come to

accept myself for being who I am, the less I seem to put my sensory

abilities in check.

For me, I use industrial ear protectors at home, and sun-glasses

outside even on cloudy days. (And people tend not to talk to you for

long if they cannot see your eyes, so this is a bonus).

For me, the main course of action that I take to keep me sane is simply

to withdraw from the word more and more. I feel good about myself and

so I am pleased to be alone for longer and longer periods of time.

Very long baths in total darkness with instrumental music playing helps

too.

Tom

Sensory overload. How does one manage to be around environments with

activities and incompatible lighting and be able to think clearly?

[Guest guest]

I used to use industrial ear protectors when I was living at my parents house.. Thinking with other people around is difficult!environmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote:

This is an interesting question. I've notice that the more I come to accept myself for being who I am, the less I seem to put my sensory abilities in check. For me, I use industrial ear protectors at home, and sun-glasses outside even on cloudy days. (And people tend not to talk to you for long if they cannot see your eyes, so this is a bonus).For me, the main course of action that I take to keep me sane is simply to withdraw from the word more and more. I feel good about myself and so I am pleased to be alone for longer and longer periods of time.Very long baths in total darkness with instrumental music playing helps too.TomSensory overload. How does one manage to be around environments with activities

and incompatible lighting and be able to think clearly?

[Guest guest]

,

We can still talk about the London and Egyptian terrorist bombings.

It's just that I want to make sure the members who aren't interested

in the current events topics are being served.

Tom

Those have been there, of course. I thought that the London situation

was being talked about simply because it's current events. Unless you

would rather us discuss Harry Potter..

If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I

mean at

www.bookcrossing.com/friend/nhecko

blogcritics.org

http://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com

Hecko

[Guest guest]

,

People wonder why I am not fat. I always clean my feet and portion

sizes are sometimes large. But for me, eating is sort of a fun

recreational activity. When I eat steak for example, I like to cut it

into nearly paper thing slices and enjoy the taste with heavily

buttered baked potato.

I cannot stand watching people eat huge portions in a few quick bites.

I like to chew my food and savor the taste. It is little things like

this that help me enjoy the small...and by proxy...larger things in

life.

Somehow, I think the reason I stay thin is because I follow no real

schedule for eating. I eat when I want to savor a particular taste

rather than when I am hungry. Sometimes I will eat mounds of

chocolate, and other times I won't eat sweets for days. Sometimes I

will get a super-sized extra-value meal at some fast food place, and

other times just a single small hamburger and small drink.

I guess my feeling is that there is nothing in life that anyone

absolutely MUST do (except make it to work) by a time registered on a

clock, and so if you see the more mundane aspects of life as

something of a treat, it makes living much more pleasant.

Tom

For visual stimuli I normally focus on what I am doing. Meals around

others is a big problem because watching others eat makes me

nauseous. So what I do is keep my focus on my plate and sometimes

look around at places I know to be more or less " safe " , having scoped

those out before my food came.

[Guest guest]

Yes , noises can be a pain for us!

I really want to use earplugs when my mom, sisters or husband is

around because I have a hard time trying to survive listening to their

screaming voices. (For me they are to loud any way).

A couple of days ago I told them all to talk a bit calmer in front of

me... but they only said that this problem was in my ears and/or

because of my AS. And they said: -We don't do anything wrong! I told

them I didn't accuse anyone, but if they could try to quit talk so

loud I wouldn't be in such a pain. But they said it was impossible

since they couldn't hear each other if they did. (Well... can you

blame me for wanting to be alone most of the time?)

/Helen, The new Greta Garbo: -I want to be alone!

[Guest guest]

You are a clever man indeed, :-)

/Helen

[Guest guest]

Helen,

There is a type of cotton down-filled earplugs in the pharmacy (apoteket)

that just muffle sounds without shutting them out altogether so you can

still hear what people say, but without that loudness and piercing

sharpness.

If you mail me your address I can send you a sample. Or just ask at apoteket

for Bilsom earplugs; the light brown soft down type, not the yellow foam

type that expands in your ear (those hurt!).

Inger

Re: AS Related Topics Anyone?

Yes , noises can be a pain for us!

I really want to use earplugs when my mom, sisters or husband is

around because I have a hard time trying to survive listening to their

screaming voices. (For me they are to loud any way).

A couple of days ago I told them all to talk a bit calmer in front of

me... but they only said that this problem was in my ears and/or

because of my AS. And they said: -We don't do anything wrong! I told

them I didn't accuse anyone, but if they could try to quit talk so

loud I wouldn't be in such a pain. But they said it was impossible

since they couldn't hear each other if they did. (Well... can you

blame me for wanting to be alone most of the time?)

/Helen, The new Greta Garbo: -I want to be alone!

FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

acceptance. Everyone is valued.

Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the

folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

[Guest guest]

I'm like you but a really slow eater. I too cut up my food in handy pieces so that I don't need to use a knife while eating (since that would be difficult while typing or talking on the phone at the same time). I'm not a slob either. Just practical.

Inger

Re: Re: AS Related Topics Anyone?

Tom,

I am just about the opposite. Most of the time I eat just to end hunger and so will eat quickly. The military school experience of limited meal times also aided that since you usually had to eat fast due to the schedule.

However, I too will cut up a steak fully before eating it, though not into paper thin slices. That use to bother my mother and father since they were all about cutting a piece, putting down your knife, moveing the fork to the other hand, eating, switching the fork again, pick up the knife, cut a little piece, etc. etc. That all seems like a real waste of time and energy. Just cut the whole thing up and be done with it. Another thing that bugs her is that I will sometimes use the edge of my fork to cut easy things like fish.

Now, even though I eat fast, I'm not a slob. I don't overstuff my mouth, shovel it in or make a mess. I'm actually fussy about making a mess while eating. I've seen lots of people that leave a mess all over the table, but most times you can't even tell I had been there.

[Guest guest]

asked:

>> Sensory overload. How does one manage to be around environments with activities and incompatible lighting and be able to think clearly?

I replied:

> Wetsuit, ear protectors, sunglasses and armed body guards to create space around you? :-)

I forgot to add gas mask! :-)

Inger

[Guest guest]

Tom,

I didnt realise we had to talk about topics of interest to all and I didnt realise I had to s"serve" other members.

Shaun.environmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote:

,We can still talk about the London and Egyptian terrorist bombings.It's just that I want to make sure the members who aren't interested in the current events topics are being served.TomThose have been there, of course. I thought that the London situation was being talked about simply because it's current events. Unless you would rather us discuss Harry Potter..If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Hecko__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/24/2005 8:17:09 AM Eastern Standard Time, inglori@... writes:

I forgot to add gas mask! :-)

Smells usually aren't a problem for me as my sense of smell is probably a bit below average.

But this reminded me of a story. When I was in high school, I had brought a friend home on leave. My mother had come to get us at the Richmond bus station, where the bus from school would come, and she had brought a good friend from home.

One the way back to the house, we decided to stop at 's to get a meal. Now, my friend from home was also into military things. By trading with a friend, he managed to get a gas mask. We had been looking at it on the short trip home. When we were in line at the 's, he puts the gas mask on.

Once the rest of us get over laughing, we play like nothing is wrong. We pull up to the window and the woman there looks into the back seat and sees my friend. She gives quite a start and then starts laughing. Before we leave I think every employee there came to look. My friend played it off well: he just sat there like it was perfectly normal to be wearing a gas mask.

[Guest guest]

You don't have to talk about topics of interest to all or serve other members. But sometimes topics can get a wee bit too far away from the main objective of this board, which is to discuss things related to AS. Of course the topics discussed were Aspie special interests so that made them related.

I think Tom's request was just meant as a gentle reminder that some members are here mainly find info about AS and may feel scared off if the discussion gets TOO political and off-topic. This does not mean you can't ever talk about other things (I do that all the time) - just keep it within reasonable limits, thanks.

Inger

Re: Re: AS related topics anyone?

Tom,

I didnt realise we had to talk about topics of interest to all and I didnt realise I had to "serve" other members.

Shaun.environmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote:

,We can still talk about the London and Egyptian terrorist bombings.It's just that I want to make sure the members who aren't interested in the current events topics are being served.TomThose have been there, of course. I thought that the London situation was being talked about simply because it's current events. Unless you would rather us discuss Harry Potter..If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Hecko

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Marilia,

I think people go through cycles, aspies included. There are periods when the last thing I want to do is even hear a human voice, except for on the TV where I can turn them off. Then there are other times when I would like to be around people. I know some other have felt the same way.

I also think that the cycles can vary. There can be a daily cycle or even long term cycles. The daily is probably more of a mood thing than a true cycle, however. But longer term, it does seem reasonable that people will go through a time where they would rather be alone or would rather be around people. For Aspies, we probably have more of a draw toward being alone. NTs are just the opposite and have a draw to be around others, which is why there are so many bars and clubs out there.

From personal experience, there was a time when I could have lived in a cabin in the woods with a small garden, not seeing anyone for days at a time and been perfectly happy. Now I'm a bit more neutral toward people, but still like my space and quiet.

[Guest guest]

Marilia,

I can see how it would be considered rude and anti-social if someone lived in a house but kept away from the others. Therea re many reasons why a person could be like that ranging from AS to actually having some issues that needed to be addressed.

This would probably be something that would need to be handled on a case by case basis. Perhaps the person is just introverted and doesn't like being around other people. As long as their other behavior isn't self destructive or harmful to others it shouldn't be much of a problem. Still, some attempts at socialization wouldn't hurt. That is getting them to go out shopping or even something like doing some yard work or taking walks around the block.

On the other hand, if the person stays in their room because of severe phobia, paranoia, other severe mental conditions or perhaps bad personality disorders, then perhaps there should be some kind of intervention. If the person if a danger to themselves or especially others, then it probably would be best to try to solve the problem before someone gets hurt.

Most cases I would think are closer to the former than the later. As I said, they could well be going through a phase where they just don't want to be bothered with others.

Telling someone about their behavior depends on the person. Some people might just be completely oblivious to how they are affecting others and could be amenicable to some degree of change. It is possible they will make an effort, over time, to change that or they might not care. It all depends on the individual.

[Guest guest]

Tom,

Am still learning about the way this list works.

At first I thought I would find here AS related subjects...but then realized you had some As subjects and then other stuff being discussed. I was not sure if people lost the scope, or maybe if it was a list where AS people met to talk about whatever.

From your post I realized it was the first case, but then it seems for some people it is like a club where AS people meet to socialize ans maybe they had nothing else to talk about AS specifically. Is that perception right?

Marilia

[Guest guest]

Marilia, I know you wrote to Tom, but not private so I speak out for

myself;

We talk much from time to time on AS subjects here, but sometimes we

enjoy talking about other things as well. But remember it is to AS-

people and it's also nice to do this if you want an opinion from just

us.

Out in the " real world " we can often talk to other people about these

subjects but in here WE are... and for me, who love talking to AS-

people, this is great! (Like talking to a special family of mine)

/Helen

[Guest guest]

Hi, Helen,

Of course it is fine you replied to that in spite of me directing it to Tom, for some reason.

Well, what you say it is what I thought after I saw the bunch of posts not related to AS subject. I thought this became a place where As friends met.

It was fine to feel the nice atmosphere and some of the subjects interested me...but kind of felt you were all more ' resolved' than me as you did not have anymore anyhting to ask, to wonder, to consider, or to share speciffically on this matter, besides articles on the press or books, while I have sooo many questions, and doubts, etc.

Well, will post some of them next.

Marilia

PS Another thing I noticed in this list is different, and tried to adapt, is that everyone leaves in a plain way...everybody, well, as fas as I have read, writes and signs and that is all. Am more used to prepare myself before hand before leaving...and saying soemhting before signing. Depending on the list it can be an affectionate 'hugs', or 'sincerily', or 'warmly', 'see ya', 'kisses', bye or whatever, etc.

Here we simply finish right way.

Marilia

Re: AS related topics anyone?

Marilia, I know you wrote to Tom, but not private so I speak out for myself;We talk much from time to time on AS subjects here, but sometimes we enjoy talking about other things as well. But remember it is to AS-people and it's also nice to do this if you want an opinion from just us. Out in the "real world" we can often talk to other people about these subjects but in here WE are... and for me, who love talking to AS-people, this is great! (Like talking to a special family of mine)/Helen

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[Guest guest]

One of many of my doubts:

1-Why in some people they become more socialized with time...and some people become less?

2-when an As who liked being around people more, all of sudden starts to prefer being alone, could it be because this personn became truer to himself...or maybe it also has something to do with depression, either caused by depression or leading to depression? When to know the difference?

3- Aspies usually relate better with other aspies, for romance and such, or the opposite? In my case my partner is another aspie...but have doubt on how can be the relation with non aspies.

Marilia