Do you ever..

[Guest guest]

Donna,

I think I know exactly how you feel. I don't have a formal diagnosis for Caden yet, we are going in this Friday, but I constantly tell myself that he is just behind or does things a little different. I see so much when I look at his little face, that I can't resign myself to their being a real problem.

Just last night I was telling my wife, that Caden will talk this year, I just know it. It's probably not very productive to be in this self induced denial that I put myself into, but I just can't help it. I feel like if I just accept it, I have given up, and I don't like to give up. I have always been a bend it to my will kind of guy, and I feel like we can bend this to our will too.

Then I have moments of realization and I come crashing down. I don't know the answers or the solutions. I'm probably never going to change when it comes to Caden. I'm going to continue to hope/dream/will it to be the way we want it to, then suffer the consequences should they come.

From: Donna B [mailto:Donna@...] Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2005 12:55 PMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Do you ever..

..have one of those moments, where even for a few minutes, you stop and think 'maybe my child's not on the spectrum? maybe he's just quirky? have I done something wrong by labelling him and putting him 'in the system? Will this come back to haunt him later at all?'

Or am I just having a weird moment?

I look at him, and right now he's wanting me to spin with him, his little fingers are flapping, and everything today has to be on his 'plan,' as in we have to play with him how he wants us to play, he's eating one of his favorite 8 foods, and he's totally happy staying home instead of going to Lent service in the kids' area.

Clearly, there are issues...but what if he's just quirky?

Last week was really bad, up through Monday, in fact. Yesterday and today, not much going on other than things like the above..and some temper tantrums, inappropriate anger for little things.

Am I alone feeling like this?

Donna

[Guest guest]

Wow Donna,

Our son has not yet been diagnosed but I keep wondering if I'm

barking up the wrong tree.

I keep thinking, what if I'm wrong? When my son is spinning at

school I'll ask another Mom, is that normal? A 9 yr old spinning?

And she'll say, yes that's normal. Then as we watch my son, he'll

stop spinning, flap his hands and then lick them! yuck. The Mom

then turns to me and says, Okay, that's not normal.

But then I do exactly what you are saying Donna, I start reasoning.

Maybe my son is just quirky or odd (as the neighbors tell me).

Maybe it's because he's so smart. Wasn't Einstein a little weird?

My son's OCD symptoms have completely gone away (as of

yesterday). We are giving thanks to Vitamin B (Inositol). Today,

when I told my parents that the Regional Center called me and will

be sending us the forms to fill out, they told my why stir things up.

He shows no signs of OCD now. They insisted that before the

OCD symptoms, no one thought he had Autism, so why search

for help when there's no problem now. So now I'm rethinking. Should

we follow through? It's true, my son has no friends and didn't before

the oncet of OCD. I'm really confused about labeling him, especially

since my daughter went through school with the adhd label. I saw

what that did to her. My son is very high functioning. It's really only

social skills that he needs. Every day I go back and forth on what to

do. Crazy huh?

Debbi

Donna@... writes:..have one of those moments, where even for a few minutes, you stop and think 'maybe my child's not on the spectrum? maybe he's just quirky? have I done something wrong by labelling him and putting him 'in the system? Will this come back to haunt him later at all?'Or am I just having a weird moment?

[Guest guest]

Count me in! More days than not.

Oregon

I think about it every day. I think "What if Cameron is completely normal- he's just a normal 4 year old boy and I am just "seeing" these things because I have done so much research, or I'm seeing it because I want an explanation" I'm told all the time by my mom that Cameron is just a normal boy, that the things he does is part of being a boy, that is how boys are "programmed". And I feel like I'm just looking for something to stick my kid with. What if I do all this and get the labels and Cameron grows up and really IS just a normal person. What am I doing? Yeah... I think it all the time.

Anne

..have one of those moments, where even for a few minutes, you stop and think 'maybe my child's not on the spectrum? maybe he's just quirky? have I done something wrong by labelling him and putting him 'in the system? Will this come back to haunt him later at all?'

Or am I just having a weird moment?

I look at him, and right now he's wanting me to spin with him, his little fingers are flapping, and everything today has to be on his 'plan,' as in we have to play with him how he wants us to play, he's eating one of his favorite 8 foods, and he's totally happy staying home instead of going to Lent service in the kids' area.

Clearly, there are issues...but what if he's just quirky?

Last week was really bad, up through Monday, in fact. Yesterday and today, not much going on other than things like the above..and some temper tantrums, inappropriate anger for little things.

Am I alone feeling like this?

Donna

[Guest guest]

Hi there -

On the subject of talking, what's the experience of kids with autism when they're not talking at about 5 years? Can it suddenly happen, are there many kids that never develop language (am interested cos a boy in my son's class at pre-school is at this stage).

Thanks very much,

Donna.

RE: Do you ever..

Donna,

I think I know exactly how you feel. I don't have a formal diagnosis for Caden yet, we are going in this Friday, but I constantly tell myself that he is just behind or does things a little different. I see so much when I look at his little face, that I can't resign myself to their being a real problem.

Just last night I was telling my wife, that Caden will talk this year, I just know it. It's probably not very productive to be in this self induced denial that I put myself into, but I just can't help it. I feel like if I just accept it, I have given up, and I don't like to give up. I have always been a bend it to my will kind of guy, and I feel like we can bend this to our will too.

Then I have moments of realization and I come crashing down. I don't know the answers or the solutions. I'm probably never going to change when it comes to Caden. I'm going to continue to hope/dream/will it to be the way we want it to, then suffer the consequences should they come.

From: Donna B [mailto:Donna@...] Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2005 12:55 PMAutism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Do you ever..

..have one of those moments, where even for a few minutes, you stop and think 'maybe my child's not on the spectrum? maybe he's just quirky? have I done something wrong by labelling him and putting him 'in the system? Will this come back to haunt him later at all?'

Or am I just having a weird moment?

I look at him, and right now he's wanting me to spin with him, his little fingers are flapping, and everything today has to be on his 'plan,' as in we have to play with him how he wants us to play, he's eating one of his favorite 8 foods, and he's totally happy staying home instead of going to Lent service in the kids' area.

Clearly, there are issues...but what if he's just quirky?

Last week was really bad, up through Monday, in fact. Yesterday and today, not much going on other than things like the above..and some temper tantrums, inappropriate anger for little things.

Am I alone feeling like this?

Donna

[Guest guest]

I have had those moments. More specifically I wonder how appropriate

the dx will be in the future. We have yet to sit down and explain

things to Alonzo, he may have heard the term HFA at the dr., but at

those moments he is so filled with anxiety I doubt he really heard

anyways. So when I think of when we will have the talk...to which

my personal answer is...when he needs to know and can appropriately

process the information, I wonder if that needs to know time will

ever come. My son IS quirky and he does have issues but the progress

he has made is substantial. If he keeps improving on this pace, will

the dx really be appropriate in 5 yrs? I have doubts that he will

ever be a social butterfly, but he seems content to have a friend or

two and plenty of time alone (hmmm wonder where he gets that from).

So if he is happy and doing well in school and socially appropriate

enough (so that he could get a job when the time comes or go to

college, etc)...will he the term HFA still be appropriate, or will

his dx morph into something else? I guess only time will tell...

> ..have one of those moments, where even for a few minutes, you

stop and think 'maybe my child's not on the spectrum? maybe he's

just quirky? have I done something wrong by labelling him and

putting him 'in the system? Will this come back to haunt him later

at all?'

>

> Or am I just having a weird moment?

>

> I look at him, and right now he's wanting me to spin with him, his

little fingers are flapping, and everything today has to be on

his 'plan,' as in we have to play with him how he wants us to play,

he's eating one of his favorite 8 foods, and he's totally happy

staying home instead of going to Lent service in the kids' area.

>

> Clearly, there are issues...but what if he's just quirky?

>

> Last week was really bad, up through Monday, in fact. Yesterday

and today, not much going on other than things like the above..and

some temper tantrums, inappropriate anger for little things.

>

> Am I alone feeling like this?

> Donna

[Guest guest]

************My opinion is it is

best to recognize a child’s strengths and weaknesses early. In our case

no one saw the struggle was having at school because his intelligence got him by

until 9 when his nerves couldn’t take it anymore. I had read the differences

become more apparent with age and it is very true. My son is more noticeably different

in certain circumstances at 12 than he was at 8. This is a kid who at 9 sat in

a Psychologists office for 9 months once a week being treated for anxiety,

depression, OCD and no one saw the As. A learning specialist came to the school

for a few hours, reviewed testing and told us. Stick with the label as they

will need help and understanding…………….Gail

Do you ever..

..have one of those

moments, where even for a few minutes, you stop and think 'maybe my child's

not on the spectrum? maybe he's just quirky? have I done something wrong by

labelling him and putting him 'in the system? Will this come back to haunt

him later at all?'

Or am I just having a weird

moment?

I look at him, and right now

he's wanting me to spin with him, his little fingers are flapping, and

everything today has to be on his 'plan,' as in we have to play with him

how he wants us to play, he's eating one of his favorite 8 foods, and he's

totally happy staying home instead of going to Lent service in the kids'

area.

Clearly, there are issues...but what if he's just quirky?

Last week was really bad, up

through Monday, in fact. Yesterday and today, not much going on other

than things like the above..and some temper tantrums, inappropriate anger

for little things.

Am I alone feeling like this?

Donna

[Guest guest]

Donna,

You aren’t

alone… I was sure my son was just quirky for the first 10 years of his life…

Even after diagnosis and starting of OT, I still wasn’t really ready to admit

that he really was on the spectrum… Now, well now I still sometimes wonder if

he needs the label. After all, he isn’t hurting anyone by being a bit “quirky”

or “odd”. He is functional!!!

~hugs~

Rabecca

-----Original

Message-----

From: Donna B

[mailto:Donna@...]

Sent: Wednesday, February 16, 2005

12:55 PM

To:

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: Do you

ever..

..have

one of those moments, where even for a few minutes, you stop and think 'maybe

my child's not on the spectrum? maybe he's just quirky? have I done something

wrong by labelling him and putting him 'in the system? Will this come back to

haunt him later at all?'

Or am I

just having a weird moment?

I look

at him, and right now he's wanting me to spin with him, his little fingers are

flapping, and everything today has to be on his 'plan,' as in we have to play

with him how he wants us to play, he's eating one of his favorite 8 foods, and

he's totally happy staying home instead of going to Lent service in the kids'

area.

Clearly, there are issues...but what if he's just quirky?

Last

week was really bad, up through Monday, in fact. Yesterday and today, not

much going on other than things like the above..and some temper tantrums,

inappropriate anger for little things.

Am I

alone feeling like this?

Donna

[Guest guest]

Hi Debbi,

I think what you are feeling is very normal for you right now, the feeling of not knowing quite which way to go and all. I wouldn't worry too much about making a big decision at the moment, because things will all work out for you as you go along struggling with it. Our children can be very hard to understand, and to find treatment for, and all cases are different anyway, which doesn't really help much, but it is true none the less.

I was wondering what OCD stands for. You say it was there one day, and gone the next from your son taking vitamin B? What are the OCD symptoms he doesn't have any more?

Thanks, and hang in there, these things take time to figure out, a LOT of time. I should know, my son Marty is 40 years old now and he still perplexes me most every day, but not quite as bad as he did when he was younger, and he was in school. It has been really hard on me to have to know all the answers to things, when I didn't really know anything much. Well except knowing that it is my job to protect my son, and take care of him, that I know how to do pretty well, but that was about it.

Talk to you soon,

Lots of love from one mother of a difficult child to another,

Carolyn in Oregon

Re: Do you ever..

Wow Donna,

Our son has not yet been diagnosed but I keep wondering if I'm

barking up the wrong tree.

I keep thinking, what if I'm wrong? When my son is spinning at

school I'll ask another Mom, is that normal? A 9 yr old spinning?

And she'll say, yes that's normal. Then as we watch my son, he'll

stop spinning, flap his hands and then lick them! yuck. The Mom

then turns to me and says, Okay, that's not normal.

But then I do exactly what you are saying Donna, I start reasoning.

Maybe my son is just quirky or odd (as the neighbors tell me).

Maybe it's because he's so smart. Wasn't Einstein a little weird?

My son's OCD symptoms have completely gone away (as of

yesterday). We are giving thanks to Vitamin B (Inositol). Today,

when I told my parents that the Regional Center called me and will

be sending us the forms to fill out, they told my why stir things up.

He shows no signs of OCD now. They insisted that before the

OCD symptoms, no one thought he had Autism, so why search

for help when there's no problem now. So now I'm rethinking. Should

we follow through? It's true, my son has no friends and didn't before

the oncet of OCD. I'm really confused about labeling him, especially

since my daughter went through school with the adhd label. I saw

what that did to her. My son is very high functioning. It's really only

social skills that he needs. Every day I go back and forth on what to

do. Crazy huh?

Debbi

Donna@... writes:..have one of those moments, where even for a few minutes, you stop and think 'maybe my child's not on the spectrum? maybe he's just quirky? have I done something wrong by labelling him and putting him 'in the system? Will this come back to haunt him later at all?'Or am I just having a weird moment?

[Guest guest]

--- dlp <leap@...> wrote:

> Hi there -

>

> On the subject of talking, what's the experience of

> kids with autism when they're not talking at about 5

> years? Can it suddenly happen....

I don't happen to know any kids who began speaking at

5, but our son was completely non-verbal at 3, in

spite of continuous encouragement and weekly speech

therapy. Then we tried the GF/CF diet and within

weeks, he was trying words, then speaking them

clearly, then suddenly communicating, sentences and

questions mixed in with a big dose of echolalia, which

has since nearly disappeared (he's now 5 also).

So, it could be that there's an intervention that

works for yours, that will trigger a sudden release of

language. I don't know, but it's our experience.

There's just so many interventions to try!

:-( Good luck!

Kat

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