Guest guest Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 Hi Kathy, I wonder sometimes how anyone gets time to get on their computer to get some answers/funtime. LOL. Hang in there on your child. It's stressful to just go through the process of diagnosis. It's only been 1 1/2 years for us to get both boys diagnosed and the school convinced. As for Kindergarten. Well, Andy went last year and it went well. He has a full time aid. One thing to point out to everyone....some schools will try and delete the " need " for an aid. If you give it up now you probably will not get it back. Keep your aid for at least part time. I had a member of the " education circle " fill me in on this one. She cares about my boys. Andy will repeat K this year because of his young age and his inability to write. Apparently he has a muscle problem in his hands. Could have fooled me the way he puts legos together! I like his teacher so it will work for both of us well. Most schools (you have to ask cause they won't volunteer it) will school your child for a full day of repeat Kindergarten rather than half days. My 10yo with Aspergers isn't as loud. He likes to yell at his brother to get my attention though and be the boss. Think that's a big brother thing. I always say...can't hear you!! Geoff is more of the manipulative type. Always wanting life to be fun and easy. That can be very draining and frustrating. Yesterday I lost it and said " life sucks then you become an adult " Mom has meltdowns too at times. This month has been really hard on Andy and my nerves. Andy can be calm and destructive at different times. Even the dog is getting picked on by him. I usually just call up a girlfriend that really cares (a lot of friends have split since this), regroup and remind myself that the Dr told us we had two choices in life....foster care or learn to deal with it. We chose to deal with it. God gave us these babies for a reason. Why us....I think he's nuts myself!! hahahaha Both boys have had troubles getting help in their school/community. There are a lot of ignorant people. The schools are so budget strapped that a parent has to remember to look out for the needs of their child. If you aren't educated/strong enough to stand up to them they will spin your head. I go into the IEP's looking like I know my stuff even though I'm still learning so much. What state are you in? Hang in there. They do have cute moments that remind you that you do love them. I hung a picture of my son sleeping and looking cute on the cupboard to remind me I do want him. > > I was wondering if anyone else experiences a HFA that cannot use a > > indoor voice. We want to test his ears but he freaks out when > they > > try the test. We've tried the whisper game but he's not getting > it. > > > > Also, what did some of you think of the lifetime movie " miracle > > run " ? I thought they did a good job of introducing autism to > > america. Not as dramatic as the 60 minute show on ABA. Contrary > to > > what 60 minutes portrayed, there is life after autism. You just > have > > to work harder to get there! > > > > julia in Oregon > > mom of 10yo son w/ aspergers and 5 yo son with HFA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 One thing I have started doing is wearing a whistle. They use them in Soccer and at school so I thought " why not try it " . I do two short light (some kids hate the high pitched sound) and they come. Took a couple of times to get them to understand what I was doing. One note though....don't use it at a baseball game!! We stopped the whole game!! Sure saved my voice. And allowed them to wonder further and still be in my eyesight and hear me. julia > , > > Thanks for the tip on trying to get my son's attention. I have so > much to learn and am so looking forward to ways to work with . > He's a great kid. Last night we were at the playground and he was > on the second level of the play area. I kept calling .. pause, > pause, pause .. no answer. I was getting looks from > parents like " What a disrespectful child you have! " and he's so > not .. he's a sweet boy. I wanted to go up there and get directly > in his face but I had my other young son down below with me. When > he finally strolled down, and not because he ever heard me, he had > pooped in his pants (he's 5). I just cried on the way home. I > didn't get mad at him cause I really don't think its his fault. > > He always tells me he can't feel poop coming. Is this possible? > > Do any of you find that when they are tired, its worse? use > to nap 2 to 3 hours a day but recently has been skipping them. It > seems so much worse now. > > , any tips on the loud talking? And, how to help them have a > conversation? > > Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 Before we knew my 5yo had HFA he was abused by a childcare provider. Now he cries if he has an accident and it breaks my heart. When I run down the hall and yell, gotta pee everyone laughs now. When people stare I just tell them to bug off. I'm not a nice person at times. Other times I just say " he's so special " and walk away. Society are mean. There are playdates in our town that have cancelled because of the word autism. Get real people. I've found that having a sense of humor can really help. It's not easy with these special kids and the stress can kill us. They will need us and the hell with society. julia > > Hi Kathy, > > > > > He's a great kid. Last night we were at the playground and he > was > > > on the second level of the play area. I kept calling .. > pause, > > > pause, pause .. no answer. I was getting looks from > > > parents like " What a disrespectful child you have! " and he's so > > > not .. he's a sweet boy. I wanted to go up there and get > directly > > > in his face but I had my other young son down below with me. > > > > It is likely that he didn't know he was expected to answer you. > You have to > > always give very *explicit* instructions eg " <pause>, > can you > > answer me " or <pause>, come down off that climbing > frame, it's > > time to go home " , or whatever. > > > > > When he finally strolled down, and not because he ever heard me, > he had > > > pooped in his pants (he's 5). I just cried on the way home. I > > > didn't get mad at him cause I really don't think its his fault. > > > > > > He always tells me he can't feel poop coming. Is this possible? > > > > Not only possible, but incredibly common in those with ASD. It is > related to > > 2 things: one, an inability to recognise signals coming from > within the > > body, so he literally doesn't realise that the early signs mean he > needs to > > go to the toilet; two, the fact that when his attention is engaged > it is > > *fully* engaged (so that he'd even miss a nuclear explosion!) and > so signals > > about bodily functions just get ignored. > > > > > > > > Do any of you find that when they are tired, its worse? > use > > > to nap 2 to 3 hours a day but recently has been skipping them. > It > > > seems so much worse now. > > > > > > > Definitely. Doing the 'pretending to be normal' thing (ie trying > their > > hardest to fit in within a world which really just is a mass of > confusion > > where people don't say what they mean etc) is mentally exhausting. > It is > > much harder to do it when tired. Try to make sure he has plenty of > time > > where he is not expected to interact with people (including > family), which > > is what sleeping used to achieve for him. > > > > in England Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 I've been wondering the same thing. My son isn't as aggressive with his girl play dates. Boys on the other hand he looses interest and tells them to " Not break his toys " . It has been very hard to set up playdates. julia > > I was wondering if anyone else experiences a HFA that cannot use a > > indoor voice. We want to test his ears but he freaks out when > they > > try the test. We've tried the whisper game but he's not getting > it. > > > > Hi and all, > My son (AS) will turn 5 next month and has no " inside voice " ; I > don't think I have ever heard talk at a normal volume. He also > started interrupting people more and more. > > The little girl we carpool with to summer camp complains > about these issues. She used to play with regularly but seems > to dislike him more and more because of these issues and his other > faux pas, i.e. my son's insistence on " copying her " and his > loud whining when she says she's playing exclusively with other > girls. Yes, it's a bit rude that she brags about leaving out > (and I've talked to her about that). > But I wish he wouldn't take it so hard, because the louder he whines > about it in front of her, the more she doesn't want to play with > him. > > True, girls at this age are increasingly interested in playing > exclusively with girls. And unfortunately, all the kids his age on > our street are girls. But I do think my son's above-mentioned lack > of social skills contribute to his isolation. I have tried to find > male friends for him, but it isn't easy. > > We got together for a playdate with a Mom and her son (a classmate) > and her 3 yr.-old daughter. Our sons hardly interacted. seemed > to play much more alongside the little girl, especially when, at his > house, the 4-yr old boy closed himself in a room to play video > games. Incidentally, based on my observations and some tidbits the > classmate's Mom told me (i.e. he sometimes spins and is not very > social), that her son has Aspergers' as well. > > Has anyone found, AS or not, that it is difficult to arrange > playdates for 4-5 yr. boys? Or is this really an AS problem? For > those parents who have young boys with AS, have you found that your > sons prefer to socialize with girls? This may seem trivial to some, > but I am trying to understand my son better, and determine what I > can do to help him socially for the road ahead. Any suggestions > would be appreciated as well. > > ~Sam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 Hi, HFA (I had to learn the terms fast) is high functioning autism. I live 30 miles east of Astoria in Clatskanie julia > Hi , > > I just read you were in Oregon, I am too, in > Springfield. Where are you? > > Also I don't know what HFA is, as I am reading these > letters I am figuring out some of these, but this one I > don't know. > > Carolyn > > loud talker > > > I was wondering if anyone else experiences a HFA that cannot > use a > indoor voice. We want to test his ears but he freaks out > when they > try the test. We've tried the whisper game but he's not > getting it. > > Also, what did some of you think of the lifetime movie > " miracle > run " ? I thought they did a good job of introducing autism > to > america. Not as dramatic as the 60 minute show on ABA. > Contrary to > what 60 minutes portrayed, there is life after autism. You > just have > to work harder to get there! > > julia in Oregon > mom of 10yo son w/ aspergers and 5 yo son with HFA. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 , What a small world!!! I graduated from Clatskanie High and my mom was a middle school teacher in town (when they still had one that is). Though my mom is diseased, my dad still lives there. Welcome to the group!!! ~hugs~ Rabecca Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2004 03:34:29 -0000 From: " jdeanhardt " <jdeanhardt@...> Subject: Hi, HFA (I had to learn the terms fast) is high functioning autism. I live 30 miles east of Astoria in Clatskanie julia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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