Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Karac's father, my DDS (dear derelict son) escaped into work and getting a law degree!! Love and blessings, Pat K Wondering something I was wondering how the fathers, stepfathers, boyfriends, etc, in our children's lives deal with the struggles of autism on a daily basis? Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. How involved are they, especially when explosive behaviors start? Need help with this right away. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Karac's father, my DDS (dear derelict son) escaped into work and getting a law degree!! Love and blessings, Pat K Wondering something I was wondering how the fathers, stepfathers, boyfriends, etc, in our children's lives deal with the struggles of autism on a daily basis? Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. How involved are they, especially when explosive behaviors start? Need help with this right away. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 My husband works 60 hours a week and he has a commute of an hour each way. He works so hard and was willing to move here and change his commute from 15 minutes to an hour each way and I think that is a really great sacrifice. He loves , he doesn't get him and he doesn't really work hard to figure it out. I am the one to make any decisions and the one who deals with everything therapy,Dr., meds,school,discipline etc. I'm just much better at it then him so that is how we have divided things. That has been and I'm sure will continue to be they way things go but if I'm willing to let things slide some he will always give me a break if I need one as long as I remember not to complain about what happened while I was gone. He loves us and even though I get annoyed I know he is doing what he can and by working so many hours I can stay home and it makes life so much easier for all of us. Kellie From: Wylie <mlwpdb@...>autism Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 8:44:11 AMSubject: Wondering something I was wondering how the fathers, stepfathers, boyfriends, etc, in our children's lives deal with the struggles of autism on a daily basis? Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. How involved are they, especially when explosive behaviors start? Need help with this right away. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 My husband works 60 hours a week and he has a commute of an hour each way. He works so hard and was willing to move here and change his commute from 15 minutes to an hour each way and I think that is a really great sacrifice. He loves , he doesn't get him and he doesn't really work hard to figure it out. I am the one to make any decisions and the one who deals with everything therapy,Dr., meds,school,discipline etc. I'm just much better at it then him so that is how we have divided things. That has been and I'm sure will continue to be they way things go but if I'm willing to let things slide some he will always give me a break if I need one as long as I remember not to complain about what happened while I was gone. He loves us and even though I get annoyed I know he is doing what he can and by working so many hours I can stay home and it makes life so much easier for all of us. Kellie From: Wylie <mlwpdb@...>autism Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 8:44:11 AMSubject: Wondering something I was wondering how the fathers, stepfathers, boyfriends, etc, in our children's lives deal with the struggles of autism on a daily basis? Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. How involved are they, especially when explosive behaviors start? Need help with this right away. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 is more like Karac's dad than my son is. provided the money for the ABA therapy, and he has always been very supportive. He loves Karac, and has always treated him with great respect. When Karac was younger he and showered together; now that he is older shaves him and is working on teaching Karac to shave himself. Karac adores his Granddaddy and tries to always please him. We have Ayden and takes care of him so that I can work with Karac. I don't know what I would do without ; he has been a wonderful father, grandfather, and now great grandfather. is a third generation German, and he is very disciplined whick helps me to be consistent which is what ALL kids need. Our three girls are like their dad, but wouldn't you know that our son is like me. LOL, LOL, Love and blessings, Pat K Wondering something I was wondering how the fathers, stepfathers, boyfriends, etc, in our children's lives deal with the struggles of autism on a daily basis? Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. How involved are they, especially when explosive behaviors start? Need help with this right away. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 is more like Karac's dad than my son is. provided the money for the ABA therapy, and he has always been very supportive. He loves Karac, and has always treated him with great respect. When Karac was younger he and showered together; now that he is older shaves him and is working on teaching Karac to shave himself. Karac adores his Granddaddy and tries to always please him. We have Ayden and takes care of him so that I can work with Karac. I don't know what I would do without ; he has been a wonderful father, grandfather, and now great grandfather. is a third generation German, and he is very disciplined whick helps me to be consistent which is what ALL kids need. Our three girls are like their dad, but wouldn't you know that our son is like me. LOL, LOL, Love and blessings, Pat K Wondering something I was wondering how the fathers, stepfathers, boyfriends, etc, in our children's lives deal with the struggles of autism on a daily basis? Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. How involved are they, especially when explosive behaviors start? Need help with this right away. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 is an angel...it's so nice to have that kind of support. e From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 12:11:53 PMSubject: Re: Wondering something is more like Karac's dad than my son is. provided the money for the ABA therapy, and he has always been very supportive. He loves Karac, and has always treated him with great respect. When Karac was younger he and showered together; now that he is older shaves him and is working on teaching Karac to shave himself. Karac adores his Granddaddy and tries to always please him. We have Ayden and takes care of him so that I can work with Karac. I don't know what I would do without ; he has been a wonderful father, grandfather, and now great grandfather. is a third generation German, and he is very disciplined whick helps me to be consistent which is what ALL kids need. Our three girls are like their dad, but wouldn't you know that our son is like me. LOL, LOL, Love and blessings, Pat K Wondering something I was wondering how the fathers, stepfathers, boyfriends, etc, in our children's lives deal with the struggles of autism on a daily basis? Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. How involved are they, especially when explosive behaviors start? Need help with this right away. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 is an angel...it's so nice to have that kind of support. e From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 12:11:53 PMSubject: Re: Wondering something is more like Karac's dad than my son is. provided the money for the ABA therapy, and he has always been very supportive. He loves Karac, and has always treated him with great respect. When Karac was younger he and showered together; now that he is older shaves him and is working on teaching Karac to shave himself. Karac adores his Granddaddy and tries to always please him. We have Ayden and takes care of him so that I can work with Karac. I don't know what I would do without ; he has been a wonderful father, grandfather, and now great grandfather. is a third generation German, and he is very disciplined whick helps me to be consistent which is what ALL kids need. Our three girls are like their dad, but wouldn't you know that our son is like me. LOL, LOL, Love and blessings, Pat K Wondering something I was wondering how the fathers, stepfathers, boyfriends, etc, in our children's lives deal with the struggles of autism on a daily basis? Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. How involved are they, especially when explosive behaviors start? Need help with this right away. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 e, you and Kellie have good supportive husbands too,and I am sure many of the others do too. It seems more difficult for fathers; however, I have a friend whose wife left him with their autistic son. That ended up being a blessing because he married an awesome special ed teacher who adores his son. God is good; he supplies all our needs. Love you, Pat K Wondering something I was wondering how the fathers, stepfathers, boyfriends, etc, in our children's lives deal with the struggles of autism on a daily basis? Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. How involved are they, especially when explosive behaviors start? Need help with this right away. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 e, you and Kellie have good supportive husbands too,and I am sure many of the others do too. It seems more difficult for fathers; however, I have a friend whose wife left him with their autistic son. That ended up being a blessing because he married an awesome special ed teacher who adores his son. God is good; he supplies all our needs. Love you, Pat K Wondering something I was wondering how the fathers, stepfathers, boyfriends, etc, in our children's lives deal with the struggles of autism on a daily basis? Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. How involved are they, especially when explosive behaviors start? Need help with this right away. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Thanks all of you for responding back. But I really didn't get any ideas that would work for us. I guess I was hoping to hear about any stress relieving strategies, or ideas that fathers use to get through the stressful times in the house. I guess I am different than most moms that my son's stepdad is around all the time and tries to help me with Ricky, being hands on. He doesn't work 60 hours a week or have a long commute or isn't going to school or involving himself in something and leaving me to take care of everything. I guess that would solve all our problems. I am not having a very good day. Sorry if I offended anyone. Thanks anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Thanks all of you for responding back. But I really didn't get any ideas that would work for us. I guess I was hoping to hear about any stress relieving strategies, or ideas that fathers use to get through the stressful times in the house. I guess I am different than most moms that my son's stepdad is around all the time and tries to help me with Ricky, being hands on. He doesn't work 60 hours a week or have a long commute or isn't going to school or involving himself in something and leaving me to take care of everything. I guess that would solve all our problems. I am not having a very good day. Sorry if I offended anyone. Thanks anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 I have ideas on stress relievers that include dads.  Please check out my blog at http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com On Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 4:14 PM, Wylie <mlwpdb@...> wrote:  Thanks all of you for responding back. But I really didn't get any ideas that would work for us. I guess I was hoping to hear about any stress relieving strategies, or ideas that fathers use to get through the stressful times in the house. I guess I am different than most moms that my son's stepdad is around all the time and tries to help me with Ricky, being hands on. He doesn't work 60 hours a week or have a long commute or isn't going to school or involving himself in something and leaving me to take care of everything.  I guess that would solve all our problems.  I am not having a very good day. Sorry if I offended anyone.  Thanks anyways.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 I have ideas on stress relievers that include dads.  Please check out my blog at http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com On Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 4:14 PM, Wylie <mlwpdb@...> wrote:  Thanks all of you for responding back. But I really didn't get any ideas that would work for us. I guess I was hoping to hear about any stress relieving strategies, or ideas that fathers use to get through the stressful times in the house. I guess I am different than most moms that my son's stepdad is around all the time and tries to help me with Ricky, being hands on. He doesn't work 60 hours a week or have a long commute or isn't going to school or involving himself in something and leaving me to take care of everything.  I guess that would solve all our problems.  I am not having a very good day. Sorry if I offended anyone.  Thanks anyways.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 We are not offended easily. Can you give us an example of the kind of stress you are talking about? Are you wanting to know how the fathers relieve their stress or how they relieve the mother's stress? Stress relieving strategies? You mean like giving one another a back mesaage or going for a walk, or sex? All the men I know think sex is the best stress reliever. LOL, LOL. Love and blessings, Pat K Re: Wondering something Thanks all of you for responding back. But I really didn't get any ideas that would work for us. I guess I was hoping to hear about any stress relieving strategies, or ideas that fathers use to get through the stressful times in the house. I guess I am different than most moms that my son's stepdad is around all the time and tries to help me with Ricky, being hands on. He doesn't work 60 hours a week or have a long commute or isn't going to school or involving himself in something and leaving me to take care of everything. I guess that would solve all our problems. I am not having a very good day. Sorry if I offended anyone. Thanks anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 We are not offended easily. Can you give us an example of the kind of stress you are talking about? Are you wanting to know how the fathers relieve their stress or how they relieve the mother's stress? Stress relieving strategies? You mean like giving one another a back mesaage or going for a walk, or sex? All the men I know think sex is the best stress reliever. LOL, LOL. Love and blessings, Pat K Re: Wondering something Thanks all of you for responding back. But I really didn't get any ideas that would work for us. I guess I was hoping to hear about any stress relieving strategies, or ideas that fathers use to get through the stressful times in the house. I guess I am different than most moms that my son's stepdad is around all the time and tries to help me with Ricky, being hands on. He doesn't work 60 hours a week or have a long commute or isn't going to school or involving himself in something and leaving me to take care of everything. I guess that would solve all our problems. I am not having a very good day. Sorry if I offended anyone. Thanks anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Great ideas. You were so thoughtful to write them all out. You are a smart mama. Love and blessings, Pat K Re: Wondering something I have ideas on stress relievers that include dads. Please check out my blog at http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com On Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 4:14 PM, Wylie <mlwpdb > wrote: Thanks all of you for responding back. But I really didn't get any ideas that would work for us. I guess I was hoping to hear about any stress relieving strategies, or ideas that fathers use to get through the stressful times in the house. I guess I am different than most moms that my son's stepdad is around all the time and tries to help me with Ricky, being hands on. He doesn't work 60 hours a week or have a long commute or isn't going to school or involving himself in something and leaving me to take care of everything. I guess that would solve all our problems. I am not having a very good day. Sorry if I offended anyone. Thanks anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Great ideas. You were so thoughtful to write them all out. You are a smart mama. Love and blessings, Pat K Re: Wondering something I have ideas on stress relievers that include dads. Please check out my blog at http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com On Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 4:14 PM, Wylie <mlwpdb > wrote: Thanks all of you for responding back. But I really didn't get any ideas that would work for us. I guess I was hoping to hear about any stress relieving strategies, or ideas that fathers use to get through the stressful times in the house. I guess I am different than most moms that my son's stepdad is around all the time and tries to help me with Ricky, being hands on. He doesn't work 60 hours a week or have a long commute or isn't going to school or involving himself in something and leaving me to take care of everything. I guess that would solve all our problems. I am not having a very good day. Sorry if I offended anyone. Thanks anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 i guess, do other dads, just leave the situation when things get bad in the house? Or do they stick around when things get bad. How do they help when there are meltdowns and such? Like this morning, Ricky got all out of control and MIke walked out of the house, I guess to get calmed down and he felt like he wasn't helping me in the situation. I guess I am looking for idea that he could do instead of walking out of the house. Or maybe is walking out of the house the best thing he could have done? Last night, ricky decided to run around the house like he was higher than a kite, refusing to listen to either one of us about going to bed. Mike wants to help me, but as stepdad, he can't do much, i guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 i guess, do other dads, just leave the situation when things get bad in the house? Or do they stick around when things get bad. How do they help when there are meltdowns and such? Like this morning, Ricky got all out of control and MIke walked out of the house, I guess to get calmed down and he felt like he wasn't helping me in the situation. I guess I am looking for idea that he could do instead of walking out of the house. Or maybe is walking out of the house the best thing he could have done? Last night, ricky decided to run around the house like he was higher than a kite, refusing to listen to either one of us about going to bed. Mike wants to help me, but as stepdad, he can't do much, i guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 I prefer when Bill walks out on a melt down - one less voice, less ideas, less chaos....It is a very stressful situation - whatever keeps the collective peace.....KateOn Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 5:00 PM, Wylie <mlwpdb@...> wrote:  i guess, do other dads, just leave the situation when things get bad in the house? Or do they stick around when things get bad. How do they help when there are meltdowns and such?  Like this morning, Ricky got all out of control and MIke walked out of the house, I guess to get calmed down and he felt like he wasn't helping me in the situation. I guess I am looking for idea that he could do instead of walking out of the house. Or maybe is walking out of the house the best thing he could have done? Last night, ricky decided to run around the house like he was higher than a kite, refusing to listen to either one of us about going to bed. Mike wants to help me, but as stepdad, he can't do much, i guess.  -- Kate Myers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 I prefer when Bill walks out on a melt down - one less voice, less ideas, less chaos....It is a very stressful situation - whatever keeps the collective peace.....KateOn Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 5:00 PM, Wylie <mlwpdb@...> wrote:  i guess, do other dads, just leave the situation when things get bad in the house? Or do they stick around when things get bad. How do they help when there are meltdowns and such?  Like this morning, Ricky got all out of control and MIke walked out of the house, I guess to get calmed down and he felt like he wasn't helping me in the situation. I guess I am looking for idea that he could do instead of walking out of the house. Or maybe is walking out of the house the best thing he could have done? Last night, ricky decided to run around the house like he was higher than a kite, refusing to listen to either one of us about going to bed. Mike wants to help me, but as stepdad, he can't do much, i guess.  -- Kate Myers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 I see what you mean. I think the best things males can do is leave the house unless you need them to stay and protect you. Testosterone to testosterone in my experience exacerbates the situation. I tell to just go in the other room and let me handle it. I'm much better at knowing how to handle Karac's aggression than either or (the young sp. ed. who works with Karac on the weekend); However, If you have read any of Lois's emails, her husband has to help by pulling J off of Lois. I think it depends on the skills. What kind of relationship does Mike have with Ricky? Unless he would know how to redirect Ricky I would think he did the best thing. Love and blessings, Pat K Re: Wondering something i guess, do other dads, just leave the situation when things get bad in the house? Or do they stick around when things get bad. How do they help when there are meltdowns and such? Like this morning, Ricky got all out of control and MIke walked out of the house, I guess to get calmed down and he felt like he wasn't helping me in the situation. I guess I am looking for idea that he could do instead of walking out of the house. Or maybe is walking out of the house the best thing he could have done? Last night, ricky decided to run around the house like he was higher than a kite, refusing to listen to either one of us about going to bed. Mike wants to help me, but as stepdad, he can't do much, i guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 I see what you mean. I think the best things males can do is leave the house unless you need them to stay and protect you. Testosterone to testosterone in my experience exacerbates the situation. I tell to just go in the other room and let me handle it. I'm much better at knowing how to handle Karac's aggression than either or (the young sp. ed. who works with Karac on the weekend); However, If you have read any of Lois's emails, her husband has to help by pulling J off of Lois. I think it depends on the skills. What kind of relationship does Mike have with Ricky? Unless he would know how to redirect Ricky I would think he did the best thing. Love and blessings, Pat K Re: Wondering something i guess, do other dads, just leave the situation when things get bad in the house? Or do they stick around when things get bad. How do they help when there are meltdowns and such? Like this morning, Ricky got all out of control and MIke walked out of the house, I guess to get calmed down and he felt like he wasn't helping me in the situation. I guess I am looking for idea that he could do instead of walking out of the house. Or maybe is walking out of the house the best thing he could have done? Last night, ricky decided to run around the house like he was higher than a kite, refusing to listen to either one of us about going to bed. Mike wants to help me, but as stepdad, he can't do much, i guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 in my honest opinion men are worthless when it comes to meltdowns they want to fix things and they can't fix our kids. usually tries to take over and it gets much much worse until it finally hits a high point where meltdowns so bad that he just cries and then gets it and leaves the room. Sharon From: Wylie <mlwpdb@...>Subject: Re: Wondering somethingautism Date: Monday, November 23, 2009, 4:00 PM i guess, do other dads, just leave the situation when things get bad in the house? Or do they stick around when things get bad. How do they help when there are meltdowns and such? Like this morning, Ricky got all out of control and MIke walked out of the house, I guess to get calmed down and he felt like he wasn't helping me in the situation. I guess I am looking for idea that he could do instead of walking out of the house. Or maybe is walking out of the house the best thing he could have done? Last night, ricky decided to run around the house like he was higher than a kite, refusing to listen to either one of us about going to bed. Mike wants to help me, but as stepdad, he can't do much, i guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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