At the end of my rope

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I know we don't try to restrain Maddie unless she is hurting herself or someone else or if we are in public and I need to keep her contained. It just makes her madder and they last longer . BUT if you think you might "need" to find a way to restrain her without hurting her and keeping yourself safe you might want to look for a self-defense class - I would recommend a martial arts school. I know my son is a second degree black belt and his dojang gives self-defense classes (for co-eds and women's only classes). I've asked for techniques to keep me and the other kids safe and they have given me three techniques that I use. One is to keep her on her feet and so I can make her walk to the car, one is to put her to the floor, and the third is when she comes up from behind me and is choking me. She likes to do that so she is in control; the first time if my son hadn't been here, she probably would have

killed me. That is when I went to them and asked for ideas. Since I have been using them, I notice she doesn't "attack" as much because she knows I can somehow work out of it.

Just an idea.

Rhonda

From: pkuenstler@... <pkuenstler@...>Subject: Re: At the end of my ropeautism Date: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 9:34 AM

Karac is about 5'11 and weighs 182; I wouldn't attempt to restrain him. I keep my distance and if he doesn't go upstairs or outside on his own, I suggest that he do that. It has been over a year since Karac has attacked me, but I stay on the alert. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my rope

Oh, I forgot to answer this one...the aggression started gradually since he was about 3. He was much smaller then and I could control it then. Now he is as tall as me (I am 5'3" and he is 5'2") and I just can't handle restraining him anymore.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I know we don't try to restrain Maddie unless she is hurting herself or someone else or if we are in public and I need to keep her contained. It just makes her madder and they last longer . BUT if you think you might "need" to find a way to restrain her without hurting her and keeping yourself safe you might want to look for a self-defense class - I would recommend a martial arts school. I know my son is a second degree black belt and his dojang gives self-defense classes (for co-eds and women's only classes). I've asked for techniques to keep me and the other kids safe and they have given me three techniques that I use. One is to keep her on her feet and so I can make her walk to the car, one is to put her to the floor, and the third is when she comes up from behind me and is choking me. She likes to do that so she is in control; the first time if my son hadn't been here, she probably would have

killed me. That is when I went to them and asked for ideas. Since I have been using them, I notice she doesn't "attack" as much because she knows I can somehow work out of it.

Just an idea.

Rhonda

From: pkuenstler@... <pkuenstler@...>Subject: Re: At the end of my ropeautism Date: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 9:34 AM

Karac is about 5'11 and weighs 182; I wouldn't attempt to restrain him. I keep my distance and if he doesn't go upstairs or outside on his own, I suggest that he do that. It has been over a year since Karac has attacked me, but I stay on the alert. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my rope

Oh, I forgot to answer this one...the aggression started gradually since he was about 3. He was much smaller then and I could control it then. Now he is as tall as me (I am 5'3" and he is 5'2") and I just can't handle restraining him anymore.

[Guest guest]

There has to be something there though - Maddie does the same thing, terrible at home and OK everywhere else. The only thing I can come up with is she will hold it together while she is out, but when she gets home she lets loose?? But is that behavior or psyciatric??? I think there has to be something psyciatric for her to lose control like this. Although lately, I'm starting to think maybe she just doesn't like me and I'm the trigger:(

Rhonda

From: Wylie <mlwpdb@...>Subject: Re: At the end of my ropeautism Date: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 8:38 AM

The Abilify was added after the Lamictal was added. Abilify replaced the Risperdal. Will Abilify work by itself? The Zoloft was added to help reduce his anxiety he was having about school.

Your "bad" word was mild to what I have said lately, lol. The reason, I think, everyone says its just behavioral,, not psychiatric, is because he can calm down once he is at the crisis center or hospital and he never gives either place any trouble while there. No place wants to admit him for anything, and I feel like there is no where to turn for help. We have exhausted every avenue. I am very seriously considering moving to a much bigger city in Ohio, and I thought Toledo was big, to see if there is any better help. We can't leave Ohio, cause he will lose his IO waiver. It stinks!!

[Guest guest]

There has to be something there though - Maddie does the same thing, terrible at home and OK everywhere else. The only thing I can come up with is she will hold it together while she is out, but when she gets home she lets loose?? But is that behavior or psyciatric??? I think there has to be something psyciatric for her to lose control like this. Although lately, I'm starting to think maybe she just doesn't like me and I'm the trigger:(

Rhonda

From: Wylie <mlwpdb@...>Subject: Re: At the end of my ropeautism Date: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 8:38 AM

The Abilify was added after the Lamictal was added. Abilify replaced the Risperdal. Will Abilify work by itself? The Zoloft was added to help reduce his anxiety he was having about school.

Your "bad" word was mild to what I have said lately, lol. The reason, I think, everyone says its just behavioral,, not psychiatric, is because he can calm down once he is at the crisis center or hospital and he never gives either place any trouble while there. No place wants to admit him for anything, and I feel like there is no where to turn for help. We have exhausted every avenue. I am very seriously considering moving to a much bigger city in Ohio, and I thought Toledo was big, to see if there is any better help. We can't leave Ohio, cause he will lose his IO waiver. It stinks!!

[Guest guest]

Rhonda, that was so wise of you to learn those techniques. You are one smart woman. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my rope

Oh, I forgot to answer this one...the aggression started gradually since he was about 3. He was much smaller then and I could control it then. Now he is as tall as me (I am 5'3" and he is 5'2") and I just can't handle restraining him anymore.

[Guest guest]

I think we all need to decompress after a long day of work. These kids work really hard all day to just try to hold it together and comply with demands that are so difficult for them. Sometimes it takes Karac a lot of effort to just make a simple request. I can come home and talk out my frustrations, but Karac can't so he runs around outside and does his verbal stimming until he feels relieved; then he is able to come in and be calm.Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my rope

autism

Date: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 8:38 AM

The Abilify was added after the Lamictal was added. Abilify replaced the Risperdal. Will Abilify work by itself? The Zoloft was added to help reduce his anxiety he was having about school.

Your "bad" word was mild to what I have said lately, lol. The reason, I think, everyone says its just behavioral,, not psychiatric, is because he can calm down once he is at the crisis center or hospital and he never gives either place any trouble while there. No place wants to admit him for anything, and I feel like there is no where to turn for help. We have exhausted every avenue. I am very seriously considering moving to a much bigger city in Ohio, and I thought Toledo was big, to see if there is any better help. We can't leave Ohio, cause he will lose his IO waiver. It stinks!!

[Guest guest]

I think we all need to decompress after a long day of work. These kids work really hard all day to just try to hold it together and comply with demands that are so difficult for them. Sometimes it takes Karac a lot of effort to just make a simple request. I can come home and talk out my frustrations, but Karac can't so he runs around outside and does his verbal stimming until he feels relieved; then he is able to come in and be calm.Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my rope

autism

Date: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 8:38 AM

The Abilify was added after the Lamictal was added. Abilify replaced the Risperdal. Will Abilify work by itself? The Zoloft was added to help reduce his anxiety he was having about school.

Your "bad" word was mild to what I have said lately, lol. The reason, I think, everyone says its just behavioral,, not psychiatric, is because he can calm down once he is at the crisis center or hospital and he never gives either place any trouble while there. No place wants to admit him for anything, and I feel like there is no where to turn for help. We have exhausted every avenue. I am very seriously considering moving to a much bigger city in Ohio, and I thought Toledo was big, to see if there is any better help. We can't leave Ohio, cause he will lose his IO waiver. It stinks!!

[Guest guest]

yes so true...I also have days when I just need silence so I can process quietly...I don't think our kids can do that as effectively either....it's got to be tough for them....that's why emotion charts and social stories etc are so important for at this stage...

had a very, very hard time at Lily's school party yesterday...he's been there before, he loves lily's school -- I really wonder if it was just total overload to have gone to his school and then an hour later to Lily's...he's seems ok and then snap I can't push things...also I think since he's not in the routiene of school he does not want for me to leave him at another school......I bet he thought he was there to stay as lots of the kids had siblings there his age -- it was hard...needless to say, I did not participate in the least in Lily's party....it's OK...we made it

e

From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Sat, November 21, 2009 3:13:02 PMSubject: Re: At the end of my rope

I think we all need to decompress after a long day of work. These kids work really hard all day to just try to hold it together and comply with demands that are so difficult for them. Sometimes it takes Karac a lot of effort to just make a simple request. I can come home and talk out my frustrations, but Karac can't so he runs around outside and does his verbal stimming until he feels relieved; then he is able to come in and be calm.Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my ropeAutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comDate: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 8:38 AM

The Abilify was added after the Lamictal was added. Abilify replaced the Risperdal. Will Abilify work by itself? The Zoloft was added to help reduce his anxiety he was having about school.

Your "bad" word was mild to what I have said lately, lol. The reason, I think, everyone says its just behavioral,, not psychiatric, is because he can calm down once he is at the crisis center or hospital and he never gives either place any trouble while there. No place wants to admit him for anything, and I feel like there is no where to turn for help. We have exhausted every avenue. I am very seriously considering moving to a much bigger city in Ohio, and I thought Toledo was big, to see if there is any better help. We can't leave Ohio, cause he will lose his IO waiver. It stinks!!

[Guest guest]

yes so true...I also have days when I just need silence so I can process quietly...I don't think our kids can do that as effectively either....it's got to be tough for them....that's why emotion charts and social stories etc are so important for at this stage...

had a very, very hard time at Lily's school party yesterday...he's been there before, he loves lily's school -- I really wonder if it was just total overload to have gone to his school and then an hour later to Lily's...he's seems ok and then snap I can't push things...also I think since he's not in the routiene of school he does not want for me to leave him at another school......I bet he thought he was there to stay as lots of the kids had siblings there his age -- it was hard...needless to say, I did not participate in the least in Lily's party....it's OK...we made it

e

From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Sat, November 21, 2009 3:13:02 PMSubject: Re: At the end of my rope

I think we all need to decompress after a long day of work. These kids work really hard all day to just try to hold it together and comply with demands that are so difficult for them. Sometimes it takes Karac a lot of effort to just make a simple request. I can come home and talk out my frustrations, but Karac can't so he runs around outside and does his verbal stimming until he feels relieved; then he is able to come in and be calm.Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my ropeAutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comDate: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 8:38 AM

The Abilify was added after the Lamictal was added. Abilify replaced the Risperdal. Will Abilify work by itself? The Zoloft was added to help reduce his anxiety he was having about school.

Your "bad" word was mild to what I have said lately, lol. The reason, I think, everyone says its just behavioral,, not psychiatric, is because he can calm down once he is at the crisis center or hospital and he never gives either place any trouble while there. No place wants to admit him for anything, and I feel like there is no where to turn for help. We have exhausted every avenue. I am very seriously considering moving to a much bigger city in Ohio, and I thought Toledo was big, to see if there is any better help. We can't leave Ohio, cause he will lose his IO waiver. It stinks!!

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry it was hard on at Lily's school party, but it was good that he went, and if he continues to participate it will get easier for him. He will learn what his role is and then he will be more comfortable. You are such a good mother. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my rope

AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) com

Date: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 8:38 AM

The Abilify was added after the Lamictal was added. Abilify replaced the Risperdal. Will Abilify work by itself? The Zoloft was added to help reduce his anxiety he was having about school.

Your "bad" word was mild to what I have said lately, lol. The reason, I think, everyone says its just behavioral,, not psychiatric, is because he can calm down once he is at the crisis center or hospital and he never gives either place any trouble while there. No place wants to admit him for anything, and I feel like there is no where to turn for help. We have exhausted every avenue. I am very seriously considering moving to a much bigger city in Ohio, and I thought Toledo was big, to see if there is any better help. We can't leave Ohio, cause he will lose his IO waiver. It stinks!!

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry it was hard on at Lily's school party, but it was good that he went, and if he continues to participate it will get easier for him. He will learn what his role is and then he will be more comfortable. You are such a good mother. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my rope

AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) com

Date: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 8:38 AM

The Abilify was added after the Lamictal was added. Abilify replaced the Risperdal. Will Abilify work by itself? The Zoloft was added to help reduce his anxiety he was having about school.

Your "bad" word was mild to what I have said lately, lol. The reason, I think, everyone says its just behavioral,, not psychiatric, is because he can calm down once he is at the crisis center or hospital and he never gives either place any trouble while there. No place wants to admit him for anything, and I feel like there is no where to turn for help. We have exhausted every avenue. I am very seriously considering moving to a much bigger city in Ohio, and I thought Toledo was big, to see if there is any better help. We can't leave Ohio, cause he will lose his IO waiver. It stinks!!

[Guest guest]

What is your doctors name at Children's hospital? A doctor that Ricky used to see here in Toledo went to Children's I think. she is a developmental ped named Dr. Ratliff-Schaub. I was wondering if she was still there.

Clonidine was awful for Ricky. We tried Seroquel several years ago, but I don't remember how that worked with him. We have never tried Vyvanse. I don't understand why there aren't any other doctors in Columbus that deal with Autism. And I thought that Toledo was bad.

[Guest guest]

What is your doctors name at Children's hospital? A doctor that Ricky used to see here in Toledo went to Children's I think. she is a developmental ped named Dr. Ratliff-Schaub. I was wondering if she was still there.

Clonidine was awful for Ricky. We tried Seroquel several years ago, but I don't remember how that worked with him. We have never tried Vyvanse. I don't understand why there aren't any other doctors in Columbus that deal with Autism. And I thought that Toledo was bad.

[Guest guest]

It is easy to be a cheerleader with this group. I just love the thread that is going through about "Thanksgiving Traditions". I love reading about everyone's thankfulness. I'm thankful for each and everyone on this list. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my rope

AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) com

Date: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 8:38 AM

The Abilify was added after the Lamictal was added. Abilify replaced the Risperdal. Will Abilify work by itself? The Zoloft was added to help reduce his anxiety he was having about school.

Your "bad" word was mild to what I have said lately, lol. The reason, I think, everyone says its just behavioral,, not psychiatric, is because he can calm down once he is at the crisis center or hospital and he never gives either place any trouble while there. No place wants to admit him for anything, and I feel like there is no where to turn for help. We have exhausted every avenue. I am very seriously considering moving to a much bigger city in Ohio, and I thought Toledo was big, to see if there is any better help. We can't leave Ohio, cause he will lose his IO waiver. It stinks!!

[Guest guest]

It is easy to be a cheerleader with this group. I just love the thread that is going through about "Thanksgiving Traditions". I love reading about everyone's thankfulness. I'm thankful for each and everyone on this list. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my rope

AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) com

Date: Saturday, November 21, 2009, 8:38 AM

The Abilify was added after the Lamictal was added. Abilify replaced the Risperdal. Will Abilify work by itself? The Zoloft was added to help reduce his anxiety he was having about school.

Your "bad" word was mild to what I have said lately, lol. The reason, I think, everyone says its just behavioral,, not psychiatric, is because he can calm down once he is at the crisis center or hospital and he never gives either place any trouble while there. No place wants to admit him for anything, and I feel like there is no where to turn for help. We have exhausted every avenue. I am very seriously considering moving to a much bigger city in Ohio, and I thought Toledo was big, to see if there is any better help. We can't leave Ohio, cause he will lose his IO waiver. It stinks!!

[Guest guest]

Its hard, I think, to separate behavioral from psychiatric. I think that they go together. I agree that something psychiatric has to be causing this, but here is what I am told when I try and get help. I hear "oh he calmed right down since he has been here" , it must be all behavioral and what is wrong with you?" That is what I hear! I feel like a total failure when it comes to Ricky. I am scared of what will happen when he gets bigger. He is already as tall as me. And he has already pushed me down and hurt me.

Ricky's MRDD worker is coming out here to meet with me and a possible in home care agency. I am not getting my hopes up that anyone can or will help us. Nothing I do is good enough.

[Guest guest]

Its hard, I think, to separate behavioral from psychiatric. I think that they go together. I agree that something psychiatric has to be causing this, but here is what I am told when I try and get help. I hear "oh he calmed right down since he has been here" , it must be all behavioral and what is wrong with you?" That is what I hear! I feel like a total failure when it comes to Ricky. I am scared of what will happen when he gets bigger. He is already as tall as me. And he has already pushed me down and hurt me.

Ricky's MRDD worker is coming out here to meet with me and a possible in home care agency. I am not getting my hopes up that anyone can or will help us. Nothing I do is good enough.

[Guest guest]

, I think you are right; the two go together. You are a good mother; nobody has all the answers. I'll pray you get some help. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my rope

Its hard, I think, to separate behavioral from psychiatric. I think that they go together. I agree that something psychiatric has to be causing this, but here is what I am told when I try and get help. I hear "oh he calmed right down since he has been here" , it must be all behavioral and what is wrong with you?" That is what I hear! I feel like a total failure when it comes to Ricky. I am scared of what will happen when he gets bigger. He is already as tall as me. And he has already pushed me down and hurt me.

Ricky's MRDD worker is coming out here to meet with me and a possible in home care agency. I am not getting my hopes up that anyone can or will help us. Nothing I do is good enough.

[Guest guest]

, I think you are right; the two go together. You are a good mother; nobody has all the answers. I'll pray you get some help. Love and blessings, Pat K

Re: At the end of my rope

Its hard, I think, to separate behavioral from psychiatric. I think that they go together. I agree that something psychiatric has to be causing this, but here is what I am told when I try and get help. I hear "oh he calmed right down since he has been here" , it must be all behavioral and what is wrong with you?" That is what I hear! I feel like a total failure when it comes to Ricky. I am scared of what will happen when he gets bigger. He is already as tall as me. And he has already pushed me down and hurt me.

Ricky's MRDD worker is coming out here to meet with me and a possible in home care agency. I am not getting my hopes up that anyone can or will help us. Nothing I do is good enough.

[Guest guest]

JJ cannot take Benedyl as it makes him Hypr! Your number 4 "Do not allow him to hit you".....I don't think any of us "allow" our child to hit us........They just do! What do you do if your child hits you? Lois

Re: At the end of my rope

[Guest guest]

J has a peradoxal effect to meds. If it is to "calm" you you can bet that it will wind J up. He cannot take any cold meds as it will do that to him.

J won't go outside after anybody....Its a "Me" thing with the hitting. Yet he is very close to me.Lois

Re: At the end of my rope

[Guest guest]

What sedative do you use? I give my son melatonin and sometimes in the evenings it helps. If it is really bad, I give him 2, 3mg tabs. My son is 12 and 186 pounds and 5'2". He will be a big young man soon. I am only 5'3".

[Guest guest]

Same for Ricky, except that is starting to attack other people other than me and will run away.

I am sorry to hear that you are still having trouble with J and his blood sugar and the meds. I will continue to pray for you.

[Guest guest]

Thanks ! I am doing the same for you! ((HUGS)) Lois

Re: At the end of my rope

[Guest guest]

I take a small amount of zanax as I need it. I feel like I need some today, but I am trying to try and calm without it. I had never thought that it could help Ricky. I will definately inquire about it. We have 3 bedrooms, but right now, the 3rd bedroom is storage. He will go to his room sometimes, if its his idea. He just tries to run away down the street.

Thanks for the huge hug. I couldnt reply to this right when I read it cause I was in tears. This group is really wonderful.