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update on Ricky

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Hi all. I haven't posted for quite awhile. I have been having a really hard time with Ricky lately. Some of you may remember a few months back I talked about the possibility of Ricky going to live in a residential treatment home. Well, I have made the hardest decision of my life. He will be going to live in a residential treatment home very soon. His caseworkers are trying to get him in by the weekend if possible. He is currently in emergency respite until tomorrow.

On SUnday morning, while we were getting ready to go to church, Ricky decided to get physically aggressive and pushed me down on the kitchen floor, face first. I landed on my right knee, which swelled up and by low back and hips are having muscle spasms constantly. i am in a lot of pain, emotionally and physically.

I am very depressed about all this. I know i am not a failure as a parent, but I feel like i must have missed something. Where did I go wrong? We had started the biomedical treatments recently. Just a multivitamin and methyl B12 cream.

I just wanted to share with all of you. I am so torn about all this. At least I don't have to surrender custody to this home. But even still, total strangers will be taking care of my baby. Ok he isn't really a baby, he is 12. but he is my only child.

Thanks for reading this far.

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