Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

[Guest guest]

I can relate as well. My brother and his wife treat my son very differently than their kids, even though one of them has signs of autism as well. For some reason it is ok for their kids to misbehave, but if Ricky misbehaves, then I am told how I am a horrible mother and I should make him behave. For that reason, I don't see my brother much. He lives about 4 hours south of where I live.

I don't have too many friends that I see on a regular basis because they just don't understand. That is why I like this group and I am just getting used to facebook as well.

Take care and hang in there,

[Guest guest]

I can relate as well. My brother and his wife treat my son very differently than their kids, even though one of them has signs of autism as well. For some reason it is ok for their kids to misbehave, but if Ricky misbehaves, then I am told how I am a horrible mother and I should make him behave. For that reason, I don't see my brother much. He lives about 4 hours south of where I live.

I don't have too many friends that I see on a regular basis because they just don't understand. That is why I like this group and I am just getting used to facebook as well.

Take care and hang in there,

[Guest guest]

,

I am so sorry. I know how this stings and have had things like this happen before and it hurts and hurts bad. I am so sorry.

Stacie

In a message dated 10/2/2009 12:20:31 A.M. Central Daylight Time, bashful373@... writes:

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

,

I am so sorry. I know how this stings and have had things like this happen before and it hurts and hurts bad. I am so sorry.

Stacie

In a message dated 10/2/2009 12:20:31 A.M. Central Daylight Time, bashful373@... writes:

Hi everyone,I'm struggling right now.I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"I am tearfully heartbroken.She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly).I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's getting better.I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)

[Guest guest]

Hi, Opal...it's so sad. Sometimes I wish women would just be honest and say what it is that they are concerned about -- Lily has a "specially-abled" friend...her mom is a great friend of mine......there are times when I do remind my friend that this is Lily's party too, and that it's important for this friend to not dance on the tables, as well as to obey personal space issues etc.......again...I adore her but am real when it comes to her inabilities...and or her need for more guidance...I'm blessed that I have a friend who is in-sync with me --- I can handle the truth...I don't like nor will I tolerate games of any kind....tell me the truth and I can handle it...at least then I'm not guessing...actually if I have to guess, I don't want them for a friend......

This is so hard Opal...I'm with you... is almost 3 so we are not into all the friendship stuff yet...I do not look forward to it...the one thing I do is when we are going to a party, I always talk to the mom beforehand and say....I've got covered...as he is a bit overwhelmed by loud noise, etc LOL....as long as the MOM of the specially abled child is in charge...there should never be an issue...but then again, I'm a bleeding heart...and don't live in the real world in my mind... LOL, LOL -- Just kidding --- I do...you get my point I'm sure.

Blessings to you!

e

From: opal_campbell <opalcampbell@...>autism Sent: Sat, October 3, 2009 10:06:09 AMSubject: Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

In Kinder my son, Joe developed a very close friendship with a boy in his class. The boys mom seamed wonderful. She came to his B-day party, helped set up and talked for a long time about how much she loved my son. But when it came time for play dates, she always had other plans. In first grade my son wanted to have a sleep over for his birthday with this friend. I talked to his mom and she was thrilled. I called her the week of to finalize plans and she told me she had made other plans.I had to try and explain to my son that his friend could not come over. He was devastated. What really gets me is every time I see the mom out and about she is so very friendly but never wants the kids to play together.Oh well, Opal> >> > ,> > I had a similar situation a few years ago. One Saturday we were out raking the leaves and our neighbor put out a Happy Birthday sign and balloons. I asked who's Birthday and she said her son who was turning 5. I told him happy birthday and had who was 4 say Happy Birthday to

him then he talked about his cake and that was it. I foolishly assumed it was a family party until a few hours later when all the kids and parents from our block were walking to her house with presents. didn't see since he was playing in the backyard but it broke my heart. I still don't know why she would invite every other kid on the block but . I was really angry at first but then I decided to teach them. I ordered one of those big bounce houses to put up in our front yard and a sprinkler and water balloons in the backyard and we had cookies and cake. I did invite ALL the kids in the neighborhood to come and play and we all had a wonderful day. > > I felt that I had to show everyone that could be at a party and have fun and even if he had a melt down it would be okay. He has been invited to all the parties since and we go unless it is a movie (he won't stay still) or a sleep

over (way too much for him). Maybe you could do something similar to show these Moms that your guy would love to go to parties? Sometimes they just don't get it (okay most of the time the Mothers of NT kids don't get it LOL) but hopefully they are willing to try and learn. Kellie> > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ __> > From: <bashful373@ >> > AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) com> > Sent: Friday, October 2, 2009 12:18:45 AM> > Subject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic> > > > > > Hi everyone,> > > > I'm struggling right now.> > > > I was on facebook tonight and one

of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"> > > > I am tearfully heartbroken.> > > > She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive

language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .> > > > I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).> > > > My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's

getting better.> > > > I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)> > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

Hi, Opal...it's so sad. Sometimes I wish women would just be honest and say what it is that they are concerned about -- Lily has a "specially-abled" friend...her mom is a great friend of mine......there are times when I do remind my friend that this is Lily's party too, and that it's important for this friend to not dance on the tables, as well as to obey personal space issues etc.......again...I adore her but am real when it comes to her inabilities...and or her need for more guidance...I'm blessed that I have a friend who is in-sync with me --- I can handle the truth...I don't like nor will I tolerate games of any kind....tell me the truth and I can handle it...at least then I'm not guessing...actually if I have to guess, I don't want them for a friend......

This is so hard Opal...I'm with you... is almost 3 so we are not into all the friendship stuff yet...I do not look forward to it...the one thing I do is when we are going to a party, I always talk to the mom beforehand and say....I've got covered...as he is a bit overwhelmed by loud noise, etc LOL....as long as the MOM of the specially abled child is in charge...there should never be an issue...but then again, I'm a bleeding heart...and don't live in the real world in my mind... LOL, LOL -- Just kidding --- I do...you get my point I'm sure.

Blessings to you!

e

From: opal_campbell <opalcampbell@...>autism Sent: Sat, October 3, 2009 10:06:09 AMSubject: Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

In Kinder my son, Joe developed a very close friendship with a boy in his class. The boys mom seamed wonderful. She came to his B-day party, helped set up and talked for a long time about how much she loved my son. But when it came time for play dates, she always had other plans. In first grade my son wanted to have a sleep over for his birthday with this friend. I talked to his mom and she was thrilled. I called her the week of to finalize plans and she told me she had made other plans.I had to try and explain to my son that his friend could not come over. He was devastated. What really gets me is every time I see the mom out and about she is so very friendly but never wants the kids to play together.Oh well, Opal> >> > ,> > I had a similar situation a few years ago. One Saturday we were out raking the leaves and our neighbor put out a Happy Birthday sign and balloons. I asked who's Birthday and she said her son who was turning 5. I told him happy birthday and had who was 4 say Happy Birthday to

him then he talked about his cake and that was it. I foolishly assumed it was a family party until a few hours later when all the kids and parents from our block were walking to her house with presents. didn't see since he was playing in the backyard but it broke my heart. I still don't know why she would invite every other kid on the block but . I was really angry at first but then I decided to teach them. I ordered one of those big bounce houses to put up in our front yard and a sprinkler and water balloons in the backyard and we had cookies and cake. I did invite ALL the kids in the neighborhood to come and play and we all had a wonderful day. > > I felt that I had to show everyone that could be at a party and have fun and even if he had a melt down it would be okay. He has been invited to all the parties since and we go unless it is a movie (he won't stay still) or a sleep

over (way too much for him). Maybe you could do something similar to show these Moms that your guy would love to go to parties? Sometimes they just don't get it (okay most of the time the Mothers of NT kids don't get it LOL) but hopefully they are willing to try and learn. Kellie> > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ __> > From: <bashful373@ >> > AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) com> > Sent: Friday, October 2, 2009 12:18:45 AM> > Subject: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic> > > > > > Hi everyone,> > > > I'm struggling right now.> > > > I was on facebook tonight and one

of my good friends shared some photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5 years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah, thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together!"> > > > I am tearfully heartbroken.> > > > She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive

language coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2 younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped praying incessantly) .> > > > I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting together!" (that was her line).> > > > My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3 years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's

getting better.> > > > I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms if I did....)> > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

I'm sure looking at meds certainly wouldn't hurt. DH is handling it

better than me. I'm doing as much as I can to get Isaiah the help he

needs. I try to deal with it as best as I can and I'm hopen to whatever

might help me. I teach group fitness where I live, so that is my

outlet.

I appreciate the words of encouragement from here....

>

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I'm struggling right now.

> >

> > I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some

> > photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no

> > idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not

> > invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids

> > there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos

> > between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5

> > years) were along the lines of " What a great party you had " , " Yeah,

> > thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together! "

> >

> > I am tearfully heartbroken.

> >

> > She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had

> > any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met

> > in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her

> > (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or

> > twice and it was " okay " . Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to

> > severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language

> > coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He

> > does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal

> > stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2

> > younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped

> > praying incessantly).

> >

> > I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT

> > kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social

> > situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this

> > would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want

> > a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it

> > just STUNG to read " nothing like good friends getting

> > together! " (that was her line).

> >

> > My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting

> > unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3

> > years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's

> > getting better.

> >

> > I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms

> > if I did....)

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sure looking at meds certainly wouldn't hurt. DH is handling it

better than me. I'm doing as much as I can to get Isaiah the help he

needs. I try to deal with it as best as I can and I'm hopen to whatever

might help me. I teach group fitness where I live, so that is my

outlet.

I appreciate the words of encouragement from here....

>

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I'm struggling right now.

> >

> > I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some

> > photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no

> > idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not

> > invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids

> > there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos

> > between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5

> > years) were along the lines of " What a great party you had " , " Yeah,

> > thanks! Nothing like good friends getting together! "

> >

> > I am tearfully heartbroken.

> >

> > She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had

> > any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met

> > in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her

> > (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or

> > twice and it was " okay " . Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to

> > severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language

> > coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He

> > does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal

> > stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2

> > younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped

> > praying incessantly).

> >

> > I can't help but feel incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT

> > kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social

> > situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this

> > would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want

> > a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it

> > just STUNG to read " nothing like good friends getting

> > together! " (that was her line).

> >

> > My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting

> > unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3

> > years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's

> > getting better.

> >

> > I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms

> > if I did....)

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I support you too Ariana...it's hard work what we are doing...endorphins are so healing, and yet sometimes we need a little more - it's not a weakness but often times a reality of the stress and sadness that Autism can cause...Take good care -- have a blessed day!

e

From: <bashful373@...>autism Sent: Mon, October 5, 2009 6:52:22 AMSubject: Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

I'm sure looking at meds certainly wouldn't hurt. DH is handling itbetter than me. I'm doing as much as I can to get Isaiah the help heneeds. I try to deal with it as best as I can and I'm hopen to whatevermight help me. I teach group fitness where I live, so that is myoutlet.I appreciate the words of encouragement from here....>> > Hi everyone,> >> > I'm struggling right now.> >> > I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some> > photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no> > idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not> > invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids> > there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos> > between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5> > years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah,> > thanks! Nothing like good friends getting

together!"> >> > I am tearfully heartbroken.> >> > She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had> > any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met> > in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her> > (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or> > twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to> > severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language> > coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He> > does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal> > stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2> > younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped> > praying incessantly) .> >> > I can't help but feel

incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT> > kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social> > situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this> > would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want> > a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it> > just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting> > together!" (that was her line).> >> > My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting> > unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3> > years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's> > getting better.> >> > I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms> > if I did....)> > > > > >>

>>

[Guest guest]

I support you too Ariana...it's hard work what we are doing...endorphins are so healing, and yet sometimes we need a little more - it's not a weakness but often times a reality of the stress and sadness that Autism can cause...Take good care -- have a blessed day!

e

From: <bashful373@...>autism Sent: Mon, October 5, 2009 6:52:22 AMSubject: Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

I'm sure looking at meds certainly wouldn't hurt. DH is handling itbetter than me. I'm doing as much as I can to get Isaiah the help heneeds. I try to deal with it as best as I can and I'm hopen to whatevermight help me. I teach group fitness where I live, so that is myoutlet.I appreciate the words of encouragement from here....>> > Hi everyone,> >> > I'm struggling right now.> >> > I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some> > photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no> > idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not> > invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids> > there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos> > between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5> > years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah,> > thanks! Nothing like good friends getting

together!"> >> > I am tearfully heartbroken.> >> > She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had> > any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met> > in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her> > (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or> > twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to> > severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language> > coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He> > does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal> > stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2> > younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped> > praying incessantly) .> >> > I can't help but feel

incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT> > kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social> > situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this> > would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want> > a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it> > just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting> > together!" (that was her line).> >> > My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting> > unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3> > years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's> > getting better.> >> > I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms> > if I did....)> > > > > >>

>>

[Guest guest]

...sorry for the name mess up...I need more coffee lol read on...

From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234@...>autism Sent: Mon, October 5, 2009 8:36:17 AMSubject: Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

I support you too Ariana...it' s hard work what we are doing...endorphins are so healing, and yet sometimes we need a little more - it's not a weakness but often times a reality of the stress and sadness that Autism can cause...Take good care -- have a blessed day!

e

From: <bashful373 (DOT) com>AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comSent: Mon, October 5, 2009 6:52:22 AMSubject: Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

I'm sure looking at meds certainly wouldn't hurt. DH is handling itbetter than me. I'm doing as much as I can to get Isaiah the help heneeds. I try to deal with it as best as I can and I'm hopen to whatevermight help me. I teach group fitness where I live, so that is myoutlet.I appreciate the words of encouragement from here....>> > Hi everyone,> >> > I'm struggling right now.> >> > I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some> > photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no> > idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not> > invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids> > there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos> > between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5> > years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah,> > thanks! Nothing like good friends getting

together!"> >> > I am tearfully heartbroken.> >> > She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had> > any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met> > in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her> > (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or> > twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to> > severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language> > coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He> > does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal> > stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2> > younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped> > praying incessantly) .> >> > I can't help but feel

incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT> > kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social> > situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this> > would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want> > a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it> > just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting> > together!" (that was her line).> >> > My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting> > unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3> > years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's> > getting better.> >> > I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms> > if I did....)> > > > > >>

>>

[Guest guest]

...sorry for the name mess up...I need more coffee lol read on...

From: Two Blessings <ljdjd1234@...>autism Sent: Mon, October 5, 2009 8:36:17 AMSubject: Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

I support you too Ariana...it' s hard work what we are doing...endorphins are so healing, and yet sometimes we need a little more - it's not a weakness but often times a reality of the stress and sadness that Autism can cause...Take good care -- have a blessed day!

e

From: <bashful373 (DOT) com>AutismBehaviorProbl emsgroups (DOT) comSent: Mon, October 5, 2009 6:52:22 AMSubject: Re: Having a hard time on a very familiar topic

I'm sure looking at meds certainly wouldn't hurt. DH is handling itbetter than me. I'm doing as much as I can to get Isaiah the help heneeds. I try to deal with it as best as I can and I'm hopen to whatevermight help me. I teach group fitness where I live, so that is myoutlet.I appreciate the words of encouragement from here....>> > Hi everyone,> >> > I'm struggling right now.> >> > I was on facebook tonight and one of my good friends shared some> > photos of her son's 5th birthday party from last week, only I had no> > idea that her son had a birthday party. My son Isaiah (5) was not> > invited, and there were mutual friends at the party with their kids> > there. Not only that, some of the dialogue under one of the photos> > between her and a mutual friend of ours (who I've known for over 5> > years) were along the lines of "What a great party you had", "Yeah,> > thanks! Nothing like good friends getting

together!"> >> > I am tearfully heartbroken.> >> > She and I have known each other since spring 2007. We've never had> > any bad blood between us. She is one of the nicest people I've met> > in my area and she has often told me what an inspiration I am to her> > (for other reasons than autism). We tried to have a playdate once or> > twice and it was "okay". Isaiah has classic autism, moderate to> > severe apraxia, receptive language really good, expressive language> > coming along super slow. He attends a special needs preschool. He> > does have some negative behaviors (kicking at people, and vocal> > stimming). I have a daughter age 4 also on the spectrum and I have 2> > younger kids who appear to be NT so far (but I haven't stopped> > praying incessantly) .> >> > I can't help but feel

incredibly sad. Many of my friends with NT> > kids know that I'm trying to expose them to as many social> > situations as possible. I guess it didn't occur to me that this> > would happen. I guess I could understand that maybe she didn't want> > a ruckus at the party or maybe her son didn't want my son there, it> > just STUNG to read "nothing like good friends getting> > together!" (that was her line).> >> > My heart is really heavy and the emotions [once again] are getting> > unearthed. We've been living with the knowledge of autism for over 3> > years now. It hasn't gotten easier for me. It doesn't feel like it's> > getting better.> >> > I wish God would heal my son. (I don't mean to open a can of worms> > if I did....)> > > > > >>

>>

[Guest guest]

my in-laws are like that too. My mil is embarrased of Caleb when the rest of the family is around. She's so scared he is going to have a meltdown or misbehave. The good thing is that she only makes herself look stupid. No one has a problem with Caleb. Actually they enjoy learning from Caleb. I have gotten to the point that if my husband isn't home I don't go to his families gatherings. But it's ok for her other grandson to be stoned oh yeah that's funny to them. Hello!!! My family looks at Caleb no differntly than the other kids. Caleb has his own room at my parents. When he becomes overwhelmed he goes to his room. Everyone leaves the room when Caleb tells them to. Lol he has the other kids trained.Always remember your a great mom!!!! Don't let anyone try and convince you other wise. I promise you they don't want to walk in your shoes. Your brother should be encouraging you. Ok I'm done with my novel. Sent from my iPhoneGwen HebertOn Oct 3, 2009, at 3:47 PM, Wylie <mlwpdb@...> wrote:

I can relate as well. My brother and his wife treat my son very differently than their kids, even though one of them has signs of autism as well. For some reason it is ok for their kids to misbehave, but if Ricky misbehaves, then I am told how I am a horrible mother and I should make him behave. For that reason, I don't see my brother much. He lives about 4 hours south of where I live.

I don't have too many friends that I see on a regular basis because they just don't understand. That is why I like this group and I am just getting used to facebook as well.

Take care and hang in there,

[Guest guest]

my in-laws are like that too. My mil is embarrased of Caleb when the rest of the family is around. She's so scared he is going to have a meltdown or misbehave. The good thing is that she only makes herself look stupid. No one has a problem with Caleb. Actually they enjoy learning from Caleb. I have gotten to the point that if my husband isn't home I don't go to his families gatherings. But it's ok for her other grandson to be stoned oh yeah that's funny to them. Hello!!! My family looks at Caleb no differntly than the other kids. Caleb has his own room at my parents. When he becomes overwhelmed he goes to his room. Everyone leaves the room when Caleb tells them to. Lol he has the other kids trained.Always remember your a great mom!!!! Don't let anyone try and convince you other wise. I promise you they don't want to walk in your shoes. Your brother should be encouraging you. Ok I'm done with my novel. Sent from my iPhoneGwen HebertOn Oct 3, 2009, at 3:47 PM, Wylie <mlwpdb@...> wrote:

I can relate as well. My brother and his wife treat my son very differently than their kids, even though one of them has signs of autism as well. For some reason it is ok for their kids to misbehave, but if Ricky misbehaves, then I am told how I am a horrible mother and I should make him behave. For that reason, I don't see my brother much. He lives about 4 hours south of where I live.

I don't have too many friends that I see on a regular basis because they just don't understand. That is why I like this group and I am just getting used to facebook as well.

Take care and hang in there,